Parking Lot Pandemonium

pan·de·mo·ni·um

/ˌpandəˈmōnēəm/

Learn to pronounce

noun

1. wild and noisy disorder or confusion; uproar.

   "pandemonium broke out"

   Similar:

   bedlam

   chaos

   mayhem

   uproar

   madness

   havoc  turmoil

Folks who drive okay on the roads will completely

 throw out ALL the rules when driving in a parking lot!

You know it and I know it!

No speed limit exists in a parking lot, so 60 mph is cool,

RIGHT? 

The directional arrows are not REAL, because they 

were painted on by the parking lot makers, not the

 state!

The stop signs are not OFFICIAL stop signs! They are 

smaller and shorter than authentic stop signs, so 

ignoring them is okay!

It's all good to go in between cars, crossways, across the 

lanes at any indiscriminate point!

Taking up two parking spaces is permissible! Why? 

Because you deserve it!!

Cars have the right of way over grannies with little

 carts! We don't have time to wait on their slow butts!!

If we are driving a semi truck or big Silverado with a

 looong horse trailer, park across 12 spaces, instead of 

in an area that doesn't block any spaces in the lot! 

Why should you hafta walk  so far? You're an American 

citizen with inalienable rights, or an undocumented 

immigrant with the same exact rights, for some reason 

unbeknownst to me!

It's the perfect situation for an old coot like me who 

needs to sharpen my driving reflexes by avoiding 

cars darting ACROSS the lanes instead of following 

the arrows, watching for vehicles going the wrong

 direction of the arrows, looking for cars speeding 

through the stop signs at 60mph, and dodging grannies

who have been propelled through the air by unrelenting 

pick up trucks!

Call me an old school fool (not really), 

but I take pride in following the 

arrows, driving at reduced speeds, watching 

for grannies, parking in ONE space, and stopping at 

stop signs in parking lots, to prevent death 

and dismemberment. 

How's about you, Boogaloo?

 Out Of This World Wednesday

Episode III
Introducing Krug the Kruddy!

When we try to imagine the unimaginable reaches of outer spaze, the final frontier, the wild black yonder, the pathway to the stars, gateway to the galaxies, infinity and beyond, we begin to understand that metaphors are really used a lot in science friction,

although, infinity and beyond is not exactly a metaphor, but ain't no English teachers reading this crap, no ways!

As we learnt from Episode II, Admirals Gary and Rosie were commissioned to let caution fly to the wind and sacrifice themselves for a dangerously deadly mission to find and destroy the Hitlerstalinmussolinians, who have been spreading their lawless, ruthless, sadistic, evil activities over the universes and dimensions for millions of agonizingly long yerticepts! (yerticepts are kinda like years)

Rosie - "Are you ready to go over our check list before we zoom across the cold dark blanket of spaze, Gary?"

Gary - "Not YOU with the metaphors too!"

Rosie - "I just think metaphors paint a vivid picture, like a Beronian butterfly beautifying the blue sky!"

Gary - "HA! Gotcha, Rosie! That was NOT a metaphor! That was a similie, and alliteration as well! So don't try and tell me about metaphors, similies, pronouns, diagraming sentences, past participles or none of that fancy stuff! I'm on to your wicked scheme!"

Rosie - "What in Glirka are you raving about?! Since they legalized recreational "cane" you have been acting bezzonkers, buddy!"

Regular candy cane is a highly addictive drug to Glirkazoids, which can alter their brilliant bizarre brains in unexpected, unpredictable ways, which may bring them euphoria or paranoia, pleasure or pain, Lennon or McCartney, and why the Glirkazoid government legalized that poison is a mystery, except for the fact they are making a tri-gazillion pazoozas from it. 

Gary - "I USED to be addicted to the "cane," but I've got that problem licked!"

Rosie - "Sure you do. Now let's go over the check list, "Caner!" Isn't that what they called you? Caner?"

Gary - "Just drag out the things we'll need for the mission, and shut up about my past faux pas!"

Rosie - "Very well. Emulsificators...four of 'em!

Gary - "Check!"

Rosie - "Beast blasters...eight is enough, right?"

Gary - "Wasn't that an Earth TV show?  Nevermind, I'm not even taking the tom to ask. Check!"

Rosie - "Two clocks of invisibility."

Gary - "CLOCKS of invisibility? It's supposed to be two CLOAKS of invisibility!"

Rosie - "How can I tell the difference! They're INVISIBLE, dummy!"

Gary - "Check...I think!"

Rosie - "200 ancient copies of Doc Watson vinyl records?"

Gary - "Yep-pers!! I need to be in that "bluegrass" tempo before going out and disintegrating Hitlerstalinmussolinians!"

Rosie - "Swear you're not back into the madness inducing candy cane, Gary!"

Gary - "I swear on the grave of the greatest Glirkazoid warrior in the long history of the planet Glirka. Greg the Great! A hero amongst heroes, who conquered more galaxies than ANY other conqueror in the vast annals of cosmic exploration!"

GREG THE GREAT

Rosie - "Okay. A Greg the Great swear is the most solemn oath a Glirkazoid can pronounce, so I truly believe you!"

Gary - (chuckles under his breath) "Super duper, Rosie! Now let's finish this fun check list!"

Whilst Gary and Rosie continue with their hilarious check list, the scene changes to the dark, dank headquarters of the mysterious, soulless master of the Hitlerstalinmussolinians...namely, KRUG THE KRUDDY!!

Krug is sitting on his throne of SKULLS, and begins to speak in his hissing, raspy voice...

Krug - "The grapevine tells me that the Glirkazoid warriors, Rosie and Gary, are planning to find our location and defeat us in battle! Ha ha ha ha ha  ha, HAAAA, haaaaaa, haaaaaaaaa..."

The 10 million Hitlerstalinmussolinians standing in the throne room, begin to laugh with Krug, while they pound their wooden staffs on the stone floor!!

Sounds kinda like the beginning of the We Will Rock You song. 

Oh, dear! Will Krug catch our Glirkazoid "goodfellas" in a trap?

Will Gary and Rosie even find the location of Krug the Kruddy, with his millions of Hitlerstalinmussolonian minions? 

Will the old, beat up, Silver Sausage spazeship, be able to limp across the endless, emptiness of spaze without a major breakdown? 

Join us next Wednesday for another reciting episode of OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY!!! 

A fine recitation to hold you over until next week!

Billy Strings! My New Favorite Picker!

Please listen to this while you read, thank you!

Did you click on the video? Okay! 

Now if you did not click on the video, you'll be in the dark concerning the other worldly guitar skills of Billy Strings (AKA Billy Apostle)

Some folks begin guitar lessons at 3 years old, work hard all their lives practicing the guitar, even make millions of dollars performing for eager fans when they have reached excellence in their guitar playing skills, but still fall far short of Billy Strings!

Billy Strings was born with an ability that cannot be attained through all the practice in the world,

much like legendary artists from history, like DaVinci, Van Gogh, Caruso, Joni Mitchell, and others who are often imitated, but NEVER duplicated!

Of course, you have no idea what I'm talking about if you're not listening to Billy playing right now, like I so gently requested. Or, if you have listened to Billy Strings in the past, on your own tom. 

Speaking of Tom..Tommy Emmanuel is another natural born guitarist! 

Just look at Tommy's guitar, above! It's beat to heck! If you ever heard him play, you'd know why!

Okay! I guess I have to do everythang for ya! Ha!

Where Billy Strings is a step above other great guitarists is his vocals! He has a wonderful voice that matches his playing perfectly!! 

Just wanted to turn you on to a fabulous entertainer, this morning!

When you're done listening to the above video, listen to the one below, if you have tom.

Molly Tuttle is a born picker as well! Wowee!!