Total Relaxation Is Just A Blog Away

Oft times, I love to just sit here behind my computer keyboard and simply relax...enjoy the day...relish this very moment...and fall into a state of a faux Nirvana, even though I don't know what Nirvana is, exactly.

Why don't we do this together, my beloved readers. 

Ready? Okay.

Breathe in...now don't think of the corona virus...breathe out...take your mind off the sagging economy...breathe in...forget about the riots and massive destruction of our cities...breathe out...escape the worries of losing your job...breathe in...sweep away thoughts about your children not receiving an education in school...breathe out...wash out the anxiety over not being able to attend weddings, funerals, graduations and unimportant events like that.

Now don't you feel better? Sure you do!!

Music helps relax the soul. Therefore, I decided to contribute a song that should allow you to descend into a pit of pleasurable, uh, pleasures, for your total relaxing experience. Listen to the following song and relaaaaaax, relaaaaaaax, relaaaaaaaaaaaaaaax....

I am imaginating about how wonderful you all must feel by now, and there are no thanks necessary, my friends.

Just make your checks payable to Danny Bruce Maness, and we'll be even. 

Have a stupendous ...

Gov. Pritzker...It Must Be Fun Making The Rules As You Go Along!

I do not know if the governor of your particular state does this, but Gov. Pritzker, here in Illinois, keeps making rules off the top of his head since the covid-19 epidemic began!!

The most recent example of this is the rules and requirements he concocted about sports in Illinois!

I know it's not just him, but he's got "people" who help him make this stuff up.

For example: Gov. Pritzker - "How can we make sports difficult and miserable for the players and fans alike, so they can suffer even more during this pandemic?"

Flunkie 1 - "Let's see, why don't we cancel EVERY sport until 2021, and when 2021 comes around, cancel everything again!"

Gov. Pritzker - "Oou, that sounds delightful, but I think the peons will riot over that. Any other ideas?

Flunkie 2 - "Let's tell everyone which sports are acceptable and which sports are unacceptable, like we know anything about sports. Ha ha ha!"

Flunkie 3 - "Yeah! How's about this! Acceptable sports will be 2 participant badminton, Frisbee golf, socially distanced charades, archery, hide and seek, and leave it at that."

Gov. Pritzker - "Delicious! That should REALLY tick everyone off!" This is so much FUN!!"

Flunkie 4 - " Let's pretend we are allowing REAL football, but then make it NO CONTACT, not even contact with the ball! Where they carry an imaginary football, and instead of tackling they yell out, at a safe distance, I GOT YOU, and the runner has to fall down!" 

Gov. Pritzker - "What a luscious idea, number 4!! Speaking of luscious, I'm starving! Let's go out to eat, fellows!"

Flunkie 2 - "We CAN'T Gov.! You've shut down all the restaurants!"

Gov. Pritzker - "Those silly rules don't apply to me, boys! Call the nearest Golden Corral and have them open up for us, under executive order!! 

Glirkazoids Debate The Worthiness Of Earthlings! What Will They Decide!!!

This movie has the same basic theme of my blog. Copycats!

Our great, glorious Glirkazoid "guardians of the galaxy," are debating whether human earthlings deserve to survive the tribulation of 2020, or to let them go down the proverbial "rat hole," to total destruction!

Rosie - "Okay. Let's look at the pros and cons of human behavior, and see if earthlings are worthy of being rescued by us."

Gary - "Good idea, Rosie! You do the pros and I'll do the cons, and if there are more cons than pros we let them go the way of similar inhabited planets that were so pathetically dysfunctional they deserved to be eliminated, and if there are more pros than cons, we will fix all the things they, uh, need fixed."
















Rosie - "Okay, I'll start. They love puppies."

Gary - "They pollute and are litterbugs.

Rosie - "That's two things, Gary! You can only mention one at a time!"

Gary - "Same difference!"

Rosie - "What? No! Two totally different things!!"

Gary - "Okay, they pollute."

Rosie - "Another pro would be Disney World."

Gary - "That's a good one, Rosie! A con would be, they are litterbugs."

Rosie - "You already said that, dufus!" 

Gary - "Yes, but you disqualified it, nitpick, so I'm retweeting it!"

Rosie - "RETWEETING! What are you talking about? Do you even know what retweeting is?"

Gary - "No, but I like the word."

Rosie - "You're incorrigible, Gary!"

Gary - "That's where you're wrong! I can be encouraged, and you could try and encourage me more often, girl!"

Rosie - "No. The word is NOT encouragible...never mind. Another pro would be that humans created ice cream."

Gary - "Ice cream is nice, but they also created buttermilk."

Rosie - "Touché! Dolphins and porpoises, alone,  are a good reason to save the earth!"

Gary - "I agree, but that's TWO things, Rosie! Remember? You can't list two things! Nya nya nah, nah nah nah!"

Rosie - "Isn't a dolphin and porpoise the same thing?"

Gary - "Negative my dear, Rosie! I just so happen to have a bit of info on the subject...

 Dolphins tend to have prominent, elongated “beaks” and cone-shaped teeth, while porpoises have smaller mouths and spade-shaped teeth. The dolphin’s hooked or curved dorsal fin (the one in the middle of the animal’s back) also differs from the porpoise’s triangular dorsal fin. Generally speaking, dolphin bodies are leaner, and porpoises’ are portly.

Dolphins are also more talkative than porpoises. Dolphins make whistling sounds through their blowholes to communicate with one another underwater. Scientists are pretty sure that porpoises do not do this, and some think this may be due to structural differences in the porpoise’s blowhole.

Shut up, Gary!!

Well, well, well! Will Rosie and Gary find humans worthy of salvation, or let them go the way of other creatures, on other planets, who just  couldn't "get with the program."

Join us next time to "retweet" the adventures of our Glirkazoid guy and gal, Gary and Rosie, in the next exciting episode of....

Tuesday Is Guest Star Day! Yaaaay!

It is imperative that you watch the following video very closely, for 3 reasons. 1. It will bring back sweet memories from your childhood if you're as ancient as me.  2. It will help you totally understand this particular blog posting. 3. Because I said so! Just like your mom used to tell you, when you questioned her authority.

Okay, ready? Begin watching!!

Wasn't that fun? Sure it was! So who is the special guest today, you ask National Inquiringly!!!

Wait for it...wait for it...the special guest is YOU!!! Yaaaaay!!!

No human beans are more deserving of being the Tuesday Special Guest than youse guys and gals!!!

Even though my Bloggadocious 222 blog is bizarre, politically incorrect, full of bad puns (don't laugh, it's not that punny), infantile, sophomoric, and just plain dumb, y'all keep reading this trash, and are even brave enough to "like" it on Fazebook, even though the whole wide worm will KNOW you read this crap!

That takes big cojones, and cojones means coconuts, I think!

Anyway, when I started writing this blog, I never dreamed it would be viewed 64, 787 times! Check it out! I'm not lion!!

Only one reason that I've reached this phenomenal achievement.

Because of the deepest depths of love from my family and friends who, most likely, feel sorry for me. But that's okay! I'll take whatever I can get!!

Love all you "special guests" on this "Tuesday, Guest Star" day!!! 

Arrivabirdie!!!

Is It Murphy's Law, Or Something Worse!!

Mur·phy's Law

/ˌmərfēz ˈlô/

noun

1. a supposed law of nature, expressed in various humorous popular sayings, to the effect that anything that can go wrong will go wrong.

I'm deciding if I should water the plants this morning. The weather person predicts rain, but he/she is right 50% of the time, so ...

All I know is if I water the plants, it will definitely pour down rain today...and if I do not water the plants, it will definitely NOT rain today!

What's a muther to do?

I don't know about you, but that's the way EVERYTHING works for me. For example...

The last 10 winters it has snowed a tremendous amount of white stuff (not really, this is just an illustration), so I go out and buy a snow blower. (not really, because I can't afford a snow blower)

Anyway, guess what happens the next 10 winters. Correctomundo! Hardly any snow at all!!

Example 2: There are juvenile delinquent kids running through the yard, constantly! Littering, and ruining my grass, laughing real loud, and destroying stuff! (not really, it's only a made up story) Therefore, I put up a big wooden fence to keep them out. (I can't actually afford a big wooden fence, but I need to make a point here)

Guess what happens? You're right! The 2 families that had the rowdy kids, move away, and the neighborhood is peaceful and quiet for the next 10 years!!

What a waste of cold hard cash! (I never, ever had cash that was cold or hard, but it's just an old expression that a rare few use anymore, so why did I use it?)

So, I ask you kind readers...does it work that way for you, or am I under some ancient curse, or something?

Please express yourself in the prominent comments section below, or on Fazebook, or personally, if I ever leave the houze!

Have a happy day!!