Sports Suicide Seems Sertain Certain!

I'm not a big fan of sports in general, but as you all know, I bleed St. Louis Cardinals bazeball red, because in St. Louis I was born and bred! (Hey! I accidentally rhymed!)

I don't believe in hockey, soccer (aka futball), jai alai, curling, cycling, rowing, bowling, pro football, bazza-ball, or most of those inferior sports.

But you do! Well, some of you do. So why do you think these players, who make trillions of pazoozas, want to commit financial suicide by boycotting their own games, politicizing everything they do, insulting their fans, and shooting their mouths off about EVERYTHING BUT sports!

Yes! Of course they have the right to utilize the First Amendment, but it ain't smart in my humble opinion. The big dummies!

It's ticking off the "silent majority" of fans, and that will definitely translate to the drying up of funds. 

All we shallow sports fans care about is our personal entertainment! We don't want no political crap messin' up our escape from reality in the nirvana-like realm of sporting events!

Even my beloved St. Louis Cardinals disappointed me last night when two, count them, two of the players boycotted their own game due to an event that happened in another state, to a total stranger.

 Folks are proclaimed innocent or guilty by what we think we see on videos, or what the news folks declare, WAY before there's a trial!

Anyway, fanless games, changing age old rules, no hot dogs, no beer drinking in the stands, wearing masks like banditos, kneeling at inappropriate times... may be considered smart and safe, progressive and heroic, and it makes sense to a lot of people.

However, it's killing sports to death! (I think that's a redundant statement)

What difference does it make, anyway. Climate change, starvation, floods, hurricanes, viruses, Armageddon, flying monkeys, the sun going out and zombies will all kill us soon, and sports will be the last thing on our moms! Moms?

Out Of This World Wednesday!

♪Here's The Story Of Gary and Rosie...♪

As our beloved Glirkazoid duo relax on the slopes of Mt. Glipizide, in the Glirkazoidian Mountain range of Gohigh, sweet Rosie is about to detail their next mission to her faithful kemosabe, Gary. 

Rosie - "Pay attention, A.D.D. boy! I've just received the details for our upcoming mission from the Supreme High Command (SHC), and it's vital for you to listen very, very closely!"

Gary - "Why did Carol need a maid, if she didn't have a job?"

Rosie - "What in the universe are you talking about, Gary?!!"

Gary - "The Brady Bunch, Rosie girl!! Alice is doing all of the work that Carol should have been doing! Why, when Carol didn't work?!!

Rosie - "Let me get this straight, goofball...I'm about to convey to you the life and death details of our future mission, and you're worried about the cockadoodie Brady Bunch?!!"

Gary - "It just bugs me that an ordinary earth family would even have a maid, in the first place, and why would they need a maid when Carol was unemployed!"

Rosie - "Hey! Clueless!! The Brady Bunch IS NOT REAL!! Alice, Carol, Greg, and even Marcia, Marcia, Marcia, are NOT REAL!!!" 

Gary - "But, but...didn't they simply put hidden cameras in an average earth home, back in the late 60's and early 70's on the earth calendar, like the Truman Show?"

Rosie - "I hate to disappoint you, my friend, but it's all an act, and the Brady Bunch folks are all actors. Bad ones to boot! So, now are you ready to hear about our next exciting mission?!!"

Gary - "Whatever."

Dear me! Me thinks Gary is down in the dumps after learning the truth about the Brady clan. 

Will he summon the strength to go on this new mission that we've yet to hear about?

Will he start gorging himself on pork chops and applesauce? 

Join us next Wednesday for amazing adventures and spacey things in...

Woman Wakes Up In Funeral Home?

That Would Just Kill Me!

I know this is not a woman, but use your imagination, wouldja?

I just heard this amazin' story on the radio, about a woman who was pronounced dead, sent to the cockadoodie funeral home, and came back to life! Or maybe she was never REALLY dead, but "they" thought she was dead, and figured it out at the funeral home.

At any rate, would that not freak you out, if you were the "dead" person, waking up at the funeral home?!

That's like an Alfred Hitchcock thing! Or maybe, Edgar Allan Poe thing! 

It gives me cold chills just thinking about it. How's about you?

I guess the only worse thing would be buried alive, 6 feet under, and waking up. Let's not even think about that!! 

Just try not to think about the above image! It could ruin your day!

Imagine if she actually died and went to heaven! Right when she was being reacquainted with old relatives and such, she's sucked back down to a cockadoodie funeral home! Ouch!!

On the other hand, maybe she was facing the burning torments of hades, and instantly grabbed from the fiery pit to live again! Whew! That was a close one!!

Personally, I think it was just bad judgement. The EMTs were tired, they wanted to go home for a beer and watch Impractical Jokers...so they rushed to judgement and ASSUMED she was deader than a door nail. 

Dead as a doornail

Dead as a doornail is a phrase which means not alive, unequivocally deceased. The term goes back to the 1300s, the phrase dead as a doornail is found in poems of the time. The term dead as a doornail was used in the 1500s by William Shakespeare, and in Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol in 1843. It is thought that the phrase dead as a doornail comes from the manner of securing doornails that were hammered into a door by clenching them. Clenching is the practice of bending over the protruding end of the nail and hammering it into the wood. When a nail has been clenched, it has been dead nailed, and is not easily resurrected to use again. An alternative wording of the phrase dead as a doornail is deader than a doornail.

I could be wrong, as I am used to being, but all I know is if I woke up in a funeral home, after being declared dead, I would think about that the rest of my cockadoodie days!!! 

However, I would be filthy rich, 'cause I'd sue everybody responsible for this miscarriage of mal-practice...or whatever my lawyer would call it!!

Law firm of Cheatem, Eatem, Bitem, Devour and Burp!

Too Much Hate! Is It Too Late?

I'm not God, so I'm speculating on this, but I can just imagine God looking down on his creation with deep frustration. 

On the other hand, God probably doesn't get as frustrated as me, due to the fact he knows exactly how everything will pan out.

I'm just so tired of the hate. It used to be that we didn't like a certain politician, actor, singer, teacher, preacher, double feature...etc., but now it is pure hatred of the things and folks we, uh...hate.

Not to sound preachy, but didn't God say he would love us in the same way we love others? So, if we are hating everybody and everyTHING, is God gonna hate us in the same way? Just sayin'. 

I don't know much, but I DO know I feel sick to my stomach when I hate, and feel much better when I love. 

I wonder if all the haters are running around sick to their tummies, therefore it makes them hate even more. 

I cannot live like that. It reminds me of schoolyard politics from way, way back when I went to St. Ann Elementary.

You hear a rumor that Billy Brown kicked a puppy, and you just hate him for that! Then you hear he kicks puppies ALL THE TIME, and your hatred grows! Then someone says, after he kicks them, he drowns them in the river! So your hatred is at a boiling point!!!

Come to find out, none of it is true. Someone made the puppy kicking story up, because Billy didn't invite him/her to his birthday party.

Isn't that the way of social media? Folks fuel the flames of hatred by telling the disgusting things that their "enemies" are doing, whether the stories are true are not. 

"Did you know "they" saw Nancy Pelosi kick a puppy?" A lot of people will automatically believe that story, because they hate Nancy Pelosi!

"Well, Trump was seen drowning puppies in the Potomac!" "I knew it! That dirty guy!!! I HATE him!!"

Now, both stories could be true, but are we going to hate them on account of heresay, we didn't witness the alleged events, but our hatred builds over the say-so of strangers, and even if there's video, didn't you ever hear of "Deep-Fake?"

All joking aside, we ain't supposed to hate people. "How can we say we love God, who we have not seen, and hate our brothers, who we have seen." 

 1 John 4:20.

In conclusion, STOP THE HATE, it's not great, or fate, it's simply bait, to make us irate, it's not too late.

Dogs Are Only Human!!

 

So, Chevy and I go out the back door for our first walk of the morn, and before we open the gate we witness a guy walking his two, GIGANTIC, Bullmastiff dogs!!! 

I'm not kidding! These dogs are MASSIVE!! I would guestimate them at about 200 pounds each!! (14 stone for you in UK)

These are the dogs that folks put fake lion manes on and people actually believe they're lions!!

Although Chevy is 20 times smaller than these giants (9lbs), he begins barking at them, and lunging toward them, as if to be saying, "let me at 'em, let me at 'em!"

The behemoth Bullmastiff dogs just look at Chevy like he's crazy and keep walking.

Then comes the moment of truth, when I open the gate, so Chevy can "attack" these two "monsters!"

As soon as I open the gate, Chevy does a 180 and tries to get back in the house by pounding on the door with his little paws, like dog below in video!

That's Chevy, for ya! Puts on a tough guy act, but self preservation is A number one in his book!

Not much different than humans, is he? 

Out Of This World Wednesday

For many, many years, our lovable E.T's, Gary and Rosie, have sacrificed their time, energy, resources, and lil green bodies to save inhabitants of distant and near planets, in entertaining and exciting ways for us spectators.

If you LOVE Rosie and Gary, check yes✓

If you HATE Gary and Rosie with a fierce hatred that would equal the hatred of a mouse for a cat, check no✓

Where do I make the check mark, you ask? HOW do I make a check mark, you inquire?

That's YOUR problem! I'm only here to provide comic relief. By the way, I'll be here all week, folks!

Gary - "I wonder if creatures all over the vast and half vast universes still read about our exploits in outer spaze, Rosie?"

Rosie - "Sure they do, Gary! We would not exist without them reading and believing in us! Kind of like Tinkerbell."

Gary - "Who?"

Rosie - "Well, Peter Pan had this little friend...and...never mind, you wouldn't believe me, anyway."

Gary - "Are you talking about Peter Frampton?"

Rosie - "Peter Frampton? No!'

Gary - "Peter, Paul and Mary?"

Rosie - "What? Absolutely not, bubble brain! And if I had a hammer, I'd bop you on your punkin' hade!"

Gary - "Then who's this Peter Pants character?"

Rosie - "Pan, pan, PAN, GOOFBALL!"

Gary - "Oh, PAM! Like Pam Dawber, from Mork and Mindy! I LOVE her!!"

Rosie - "AAAARRRRRRG! Gary! You need your hearing checked!"

Gary - "Just messin' wit ya, Rosie! I knew who Peter Pan was all along. Just love to see you get riled up! It brings out the blue in your eyes!"

Rosie - "My eyes are NOT blue, they're BLACK! All Glirkazoids have BLACK EYES!!"

Gary - "I know. I love seeing you get all worked up about stuff!"

Rosie - "You..you...PEST! How can I tell you about our next mission with you teasing me all the time!!"

Gary - "Next mission? We've been assigned a NEW mission?!! Why didn't you tell me?!!"

My, my...will Gary allow Rosie to tell him about their upcoming mission?

Will they be saving another planet, like they saved the earth from the coronavirus? Or DID they?

Will y'all keep believing in Gary and Rosie until the cows come home, to keep them in existence? Not the cows! Rosie and Gary!

Join us next week to possibly find some of the answers to these impotent questions, in...