Christmas Tree Set Up Seminar 

All of you  die hard (a great Christmas movie), traditionalist, never-fakers, who insist on a REAL Christmas tree, even though you're killing a living creature of the forest, need not read this, because I'm focusing in on faux Christmas trees that live forever, in a plastic kind of way.

You'll find your boxed up tree, 99% of the time, in the most difficult area to navigate in the house.

In the basement, underneath a pile of stuff, way up in the attic, up in the rafters of the garage, in a closet, enveloped in tons of clothing, but almost NEVER in a convenient place, unless you're one of those OCD, neat fanatics, who everybody resents!

If you're a normal slacker, like me, you never organize the branches, or color code them, or number them when you throw them in the box from the previous year. You just shove them in the box with a reckless abandon, because you're tired and want it all to be over before the new year begins.

So you dump all the tree parts in a pile, and then sort through the mess, and try to figure which limbs go on the bottom from the length of the branches, but sometimes you (meaning me) put the wrong branches on the wrong level, but just leave them there because you think no one will notice, but your spouse will ALWAYS notice!

Untangling the lights is an annual ritual, because instead of wrapping the lights on a specifically designed light holder thingy the previous year, you just wadded them up and threw them in a box, because you had partied too hardy the night before. 

Putting the "ancient" ornaments on the tree takes me forever, because I reminisce over every one, and I have to make sure each one is freely hanging perfectly, and NOT crooked from resting on a lower branch. Examples below ↓

Totally wrong!

Correctamundo!

Christmas music MUST be playing whilst trimming the tree! This is NOT OPTIONAL!! 

I hope this brief seminar helps you, but it doesn't really matter if you are a rebel like me, and NEVER pay attention to the advice of others.