Surreal Saturdays are designed to remind us that everything that we believe is real, is most likely SURreal, and the other way around.
Take a look at our universe, go ahead, I'll wait until you're done.
Ha! Don't you get the joke?
How ya ever gonna see the entire universe when galaxies are billions of light years away from each other, and we are, like, a billion light years away from the nearest galaxy?!!
So, when you think about it, the universe is way more surreal than real. Plus, it's COLORS are super surreal, and that's impotent! (Like I've been since my operation)
Now class, how many think Robin Williams is real?
Anybody? Anybody?
Well, of course we don't! We view him as surreal, and maybe from another planet.
However, he has to be real, because he was on TMZ!
Well, maybe I was wrong about zombies not being real, but how about Lady Gaga...
Friday, February 15, 2013
FAN FRIDAYS FAN FRIDAYS FAN FRIDAYS
THE LONE RANGER
The Lone Ranger was noted for his unusually strong moral and ethical code. He used his silver bullets to disarm opponents, not to kill. The radio and early TV series were careful to keep the Ranger's abilities somewhat plausible...yes, he could outdraw any single opponent, but had to be more clever to deal with multiple opponents, and although the close relationship with his faithful Indian companion (Tonto) has raised eyebrows, the Lone Ranger always treated his friend with the deepest respect and as an equal partner.
Jay Silverheels and Clayton Moore
The Lone Ranger is on my top 10 list of someone who greatly influenced my life! (Even though I fell FAR short of his standards!)
No, not Clayton Moore, but the character he played, on and off the T. V. screen.
He was honest, caring, clean, never killed anyone that I can remember, but above all, he was HUMBLE!
My favorite part was at the end of the show, and the Lone Ranger had already "split the scene," as we used to say in the 50'S, and he had left a silver bullet to let the townsfolk know who he really was...It went something like this:
Townsfolk dude: "That masked man saved us all, and didn't even let us thank him!"
A different townsfolk dude: "Who was that masked man?"
Then, still another townsfolk dude picks up a silver bullet that the "masked man" left on the table, and says, "Why, that was the Lone Ranger!!"
THEN It flashes to the coolest scene of the Lone Ranger on his magnificent horse Silver!
Silver is rearing up on his hind legs, and the Lone Ranger declares, " Hi O Silver, AWAY!!!"
Think about it, the "ranger" is saving people all over the Old West, never gets his ranger outfit dirty, loves his Indian friend Tonto like a brother, never takes advantage of women by kissing them, has an intimate relationship with his horse, and STILL is so humble, he wears a mask to hide his identity, and never even tells people his name, because he doesn't want to brag about himself.
( I can't think of any other reason he'd want to hide his identity, can you?)
I always thought it was so cool when he'd shoot the gun out of the "bad guys" hand, and the "bad guy" would scrunch his face up in pain, and shake his hand like he hit it with a hammer.
The Lone Ranger had to do things like that, because this was Saturday morning kids time, and no blood and guts were allowed in this time slot.
As a kid, I really did try to emulate the Lone Ranger's qualities, but MAN, I screwed it up royally!
I was always trying to kiss girls, I was perpetually dirty, I didn't have ANY Indian friends, I was afraid of horses (because one had bit me on that little roll of fat I had around my tummy at a pony ride thing, and it hurt like crazy!!), and I loved attention!!
I DID have some silver bullets (provided by the Mattel Toy Company) that went into my official Lone Ranger gun, but even I knew it was just silver (lead) paint on plastic.
Clayton Moore was so dedicated to his role as the Lone Ranger, that he made personal appearances as the masked man (without permission) for many years after the series had ended, even to the point where the legal owners to the rights of the show banned him from wearing the mask in public, but later on the ban was lifted, THANK GOD!!
If you never watched The Lone Ranger you probably think this blog post is silly, but for those of you who grew up watching this show know exactly what I'm talking about, and can still hear the William Tell Overture, and the heart stirring words at the opening of the show:
Thursday, February 14, 2013
THOUGHTFUL THURSDAYS
Whenever I remember, I write "Thoughtful Thursdays" in soothing, restful colors, because this is our day to mellow out, take the chill pill, put all of our troubles and worries in a blue balloon, and let them float, float, way up high, and POP, they're gone.
I discovered that the Moody Blues are actually aliens from a far more beautiful, and peaceful world than we inhabit, and their gorgeous, hypnotic music is to help us see what a dirty, crappy world we live in, by comparison.
Click on this video, close your tired eyes, put your feet up, take a deep breath, and begin to listen to the silver strains of the mellowest band of all tom!!
Did you listen to it? Why not? Yeah, these are busy times. Okay, but you remember it, right? Here is the true meaning: The Knights in White Satin are, in truth, the members of the Moody Blues from the planet Hayward, who are not really wearing white satin, but when they enter the atmosphere of the earth they begin to emit a glowing light that makes it look like they're wearing white satin, however, they can cloak those shining rays so earth dudes can't see them.
The song goes on to say, they are "never reaching the end," which shows that their mission of humiliating all the creatures of all the planets in the universe will continue forever.
"Letters I've written, never meaning to send" means they have written warning messages to all the tiny, insignificant beings throughout the galaxies, to tell them they will eventually be destroyed in an agonizingly painful display of fire and plague, but didn't ever really intend to send them out, because they figure we are better off not knowing.
Then they sing, "Beauty I've always missed , with these eyes before, just what the truth is, I can't say anymore"...Which means: They are allowed to gather all the beautiful people they find, and take them back to paradisaic, Hayward, but they haven't found too many so far, and after watching Fox News, reality shows, and politicians, they have NO IDEA what the truth is anymore!
Now here is the clincher! Then they sing, "But I love you, yes I love you, Oh, how I love yoooouoooh!" What up wit dat? Well, on Hayward, the word love means, EAT!
If you don't have tom to watch the whole clip, watch it yourself from 3:00.
Yes, they will use the "beautiful" among us, as a source of food, before our planet becomes a burned out cinder, but look on the bright side...Oh, yeah, there is no bright side!
Medical Definition of NEUROPATHY: an abnormal and usually degenerative state of the nervous system or nerves; also: a systemic condition (as muscular atrophy) that stems from a neuropathyDisorder of the peripheralnervous system. It may be genetic or acquired, progress quickly or slowly, involve motor, sensory, and/or autonomic (seeautonomic nervous system) nerves, and affect only certain nerves or all of them. It can cause pain or loss of sensation.
Well, it hurts like crazy!!
6. What are my plans for today? a. To develop a new process to turn yucky water into pure water at no cost, to help thirsty people all over the whole wide worm. b. Wash my shoes. (Our sewer backed up recently) c. Muse d. Snooze. e. Sing da blues. f. Write a symphony to uplift the poor downtrodden people who are looking for somethin', anythin', to make 'em feel just a little bit better about their worthless, miserable lives.
TIME!!
Write your answers in the comments section.
But, you knew that already, didn't you?
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
TRAVELIN' TUESDAYS
I devote Travelin' Tuesdays to stories about the times I traveled across the highways and byways of this place I like to call America.
Circa 1971, we stumbled upon a flyer that was pinned to a bulletin board in a "head shop:"
ROCK AND ROLL FESTIVAL
ON DOC LOVE'S FARM
Punjab, Missouri
July 4th
The James Gang
The Flock
Black Oak Arkansas
Edgar Winter's White Trash Band
Ted Nugent and the Amboy Dukes
Just a little disclaimer: I made up the name of the town, because I really can't remember, also the date, and all of the groups, except for the James Gang. Thanks for your cooperation!
All I knew is that I wanted to see the James Gang, with Joe Walsh!
I absolutely loved their song, "Walk Away!"
Remember?
Takin' my time
Choosin' my lines Try'n' to decide what to do Looks like my stop Don't wanna get off Got myself hung up on you
Seems to me You don't wanna talk about it Seems to me You just turn your pretty head and walk away
You don't remember? Okay here it is:
We were going!!
Was there ever any doubt?
Yasgur's Farm...I mean...Doc Love's Farm...festival...The James Gang...What's not to
love!!
Two days before the festival, we gathered all of our camping equipment (a ragged old pup tent, and a rusty Coleman lantern), and headed out for Yasgu...I mean...Doc Love's Farm, to beat the crowds.
My friend, Spanky, had a classic 57 Oldsmobile with a multi-colored butterfly painted on the entire hood of the car to make the historic trip.
Here's what it looked like, minus the butterfly:
Punjab (remember, not the REAL name of the town) was south of St. Louis, not far from the famous, Meramec Caverns, and we were sore excited when we arrived!
We saw an old geezer sitting on a bench in front of the "General Store," and asked him if he knew where Doc Love's farm was located.
Now, bear in mind ( no, there are no bears in this story), we were a carload of long haired, hippy freaks, in a car with a pink, blue, and yellow butterfly on the hood, and we were used to getting evil stares, and verbal abuse from old dudes.
However, this guy was very cooperative!
He thought for a second, scratched his head, spit out some tobacco, and slowly said:
"Oh, Doc Love's place? Where they're havin' that hippy jamboree?" ( We shook our heads, yes) "Here's whatya do!"
"Ya goes down this road about two mile, and you'll see a farm with a red barn, ya don't stop there, ya jus keeps on goin' about 5 mile, 'till ya see a railroad crossin', and a road arunnin' along side it, ya takes that road to the right for about 6 mile, and you'll get to a crik, now, if the criks got too much water, you'll have to turn around until ya reach highway K, and makes a left, and then you'll see a place with a hound dog in the yard, and that's ole Doc Love's Farm."
Needless to say, we became hopelessly lost, sooo, we saw another old dude leaning on a fence post, and we asked him how to get to Doc Love's place for the rock festival.
He was chewin' on a weed, so he talked out of the corner of his mouth, when he said:
"Ya goes down this road about two mile, and you'll see a farm with a red barn, ya don't stop there, ya jus keeps on goin' about 5 mile, 'till ya see a railroad crossin', and a road arunnin' along side it, ya takes that road to the right for about 6 mile, and you'll get to a crik, now, if the criks got too much water, you'll have to turn around until ya reach highway K, and makes a left, and then you'll see a place with a hound dog in the yard, and that's ole Doc Love's Farm."
Now, this happened to us about 5 times until we realized these old guys were yankin' our string, and didn't want us to get to the festival! ( Don't forget, our senses, judgement, and perception of reality had been dulled by the abuse of drugs, that I strongly recommend you kids should avoid at all costs!! Especially, if you're trying to find Doc Love's Farm!)
This is your brain on drugs!
Miraculously, we eventually found the place, and immediately set up camp, RIGHT BEHIDE THE STAGE!!!
How cool is dat, brothers and sisters!!!
We are so psyched about this festival, and have the time of our lives for two days, awaiting the arrival of the James Gang...James Gang...JamesGang...those were echoing James Gang's for effect.
The morning arrives!!
GREAT DAY IN THE MORNIN" CHILDREN!!
People are arriving, trucks, motor homes, helicopters, and it is just like Woodstock, man!! (I wasn't at Woodstock, but I saw the movie)
The time has come, and we are about to burst from exhilerated excitement!!!
Someone is walking toward us! Is it the James Gang, with Joe Walsh? Edgar Winter? Ted Nugent?
No! None of the above. It is a "brute squad" ( like in The Princess Bride movie) to come and kick us off the property, so we can wait in the endless line and buy tickets like everyone else!
This is a true story, and to tell you the truth, I really don't remember being at the festival after that.
My friends told me I was there, and had a good time, but I honestly don't remember seeing the James Gang, or ANYBODY!
See, kids!
See what you miss out on by engaging in recreational drugs?
SSSSSURREAL SATURDAYSSURREAL SATURDAYSSUSURREAL SURREAL SATURDAYSSATURDAYSRREAL SATURDAYS
Family reunion? 
Class reunion? Starbucks?
