WHO?WHAT?WHERE?

WHEN?WHY?HOW?

WEDNESDAYS!!!

Who? What? Where? When? Why? How? Wednesdays are when I get to ask all the mind probing questions, and you provide the witty, profound answers!

Example of Glirkazoid Mind Probe

Are you ready for this? 

Have you rigorously studied ahead of time?

Yes?

How could you have? I'm making this up as I go along!

This will be a timed test, so answer quickly, and if you don't know an answer, stay on it until your times up.

READY? BEGIN!

Question 1. What is Coldplay?

a. Children making snowmen.

b. Eskimos making whoopie.

c. A band.

d. Canada's outdoor theater in January.

Question 2. Who or what is this?

Hint: Not Brad Pitt!

Question 3. Where are the dead Bigfoots?

a. They evaporate at death.

b. They are immortal, like Adrian Paul.

c. Bigfoots eat their dead.

d. They are raptured to Bigfoot Paradise.

Question 4. True or False: Madonna is not REALLY a virgin.

Question 5. Fill in the blank: "And the sign said ____ _____ ______ ______ need not apply."

Hint 

Question 6. Fill in the blank: "So I ___ __ __ ____ __ _____ __ ___ and I went in to ask him ___.

Question 7. Fill in the blank: He said, you look like a ____ __________ _____ ___ I think you'll do.

Question 8. Fill in the blank: " So I took off my hat and said imagine that, huh, me ______ for you!

Question 9. Name the band that did the afore mentioned song. (Ha! This one's not so easy, is it?) HINT: FMEB.

Question 9. Why isn't this question 10?

Question 10. Shouldn't this really be question 11?

Question ?. In 1o,000 worms or less, tell our viewers why this is the weirdest blog you've ever read. (Worms?)

TIME

magazine

Submit your answers to  Erkel Press in Omaha, New Orleans Parish Kentucky.

Thank you for your precipitation!

TRAVELIN' TUESDAYS 

The deep love we have for our first vehicle can only be matched by our first love of a girl, or boy, whatever you prefer.

The photo of the Harley Davidson "Hummer," (below) is an exact representation of my first vehicle. (Same color, and everything)

The term "Harley Hummer", loosely refers to all antique, Harley Davidson, American made, 2 cycle , vintage, lightweight motorcycles produced between 1948 and 1966 at the Milwaukee, Wisconsin factory. However, technically speaking , the true  "Harley Hummer" was only produced from 1955 until 1959, and it was a very basic, stripped down, no frills, 125cc motorcycle.

I know what you're thinking, 'cause I have E.S.P! (Extra stupid perception)

You are thinking that Dannyboy is gonna start in reminiscing about his long lost Harley, how he misses it so, how he would love to feel the wind blowing through his hair whilst zooming across the highways and byways of St. Louis County in the mid 1960's once again...right?

WRONGO! I HATED THAT MISERABLE BIKE!!!!

Hasten back to the summer of 1965. 

I was 15 years old and had more money than I knew what to do with, because of doing construction work for my neighbors business.

The beautiful blue little bike ( or so I thought at the time) was parked down the street with a sign on it that read $160.00.

Big money, but I was loaded, and bought it after a brief test ride.

Little did I know that the "demon" bike would make me develop an intense hatred for motorcycles that still lingers in my underdeveloped brain to this very day!!

Of course, at 15 I had no license, no drivers training, and no sense.

My dad made a rule that I could only ride it within a certain, limited area near our house, and on "low traffic" streets.

Needless to say, I would travel all over St. Louis, miles and miles from the restricted area.

I found out by accident that the little "Hummer" would stop running when it rained, the day I was about 20 miles from the restricted area, and my dad had to come and pick me up, along with the bike. ( To put it mildly, my dad did not enjoy being inconvenienced)

However, my dad's wrath was nothing compared to all the times I'd fall off that cursed "devil machine!"

Loose gravel on the road, I went down...A little oil on the street, I went down...A June bug hitting me in the forehead, you guessed it...I went down!

I did not wear a helmet because it was not considered cool by my peers,  so I frequently landed on my unprotected head.

It's a miracle it didn't adversely interfere with my brain functions later on in life. WHO HA!!! NOPE IT DIDN'T, BOSKO!!!!

Furthermore, when it was just a bit chilly in the morning, or at night, it felt like winter winds on the plains of Minnesota on the bike! 

In addition, ABSOLUTELY NO PROTECTION from the rain (that stopped the "Hummer" from humming, anyway), sharp rocks hurling at me from semi trucks, loose pit bulls coming out to bite my ankles at night, gang members in East St. Louis wanting to mug me while I was stopped at a stop sign, the blazing St. Louis heat during the day, and zombies~~

No heater, no air conditioner, no seat belts, no padded dash, no way to transport a bunch of groceries from the I.G.A., and no way to give my girlfriend a safe ride to the prom! ( That is, if I ever had a girlfriend, or went to the prom) 

Don't ask me to ride on your "suicide machines" brothers and sisters! 

I ain't goin'!!

I hate 'em, I hate 'em, I hate 'em!!

How is it the dumb government has millions of safety regulations for cars, and almost none for motorcycles?!

Do you think the evil politicians are trying to kill off all the motorcycle riders to limit the population growth? 

Oh, I don't know, but aren't you happy this was not one of those sappy articles about a guys idiotic love for his old "ride!"

On the other hand, did I ever tell you about the car I bought from my friend Rick Gieselman? Her name was Cheryl...

♫♪MADNESS MUSIC MONDAYS♪♪

Today's song is one I wrote to make you feel happy, warm, and loved!

I am very shy, so I love going places where I feel welcome, even though they don't no me from Adam Lambert.

That's the way I felt when I visited one of my best friends whom I've never met, last night.

 Marty Wombacher is a cool and prolific writer who has written articles for BIG TIME publications, has authored FUNNY books, been on the Today Show with Jane Pauley (Jane matriculated with David Letterman), invented the wildly popular "Trivial Trivia..idiots edition" game, AND LIVED IN NEW YORK CITY FOR ALMOST TWENTY YEARS IN POST APOCALYPTIC CONDITIONS!! (In my vivid imagination)  

Anyway, I have enjoyed and respected his writing for many, many moons, but I never had to opportunity to meet him in person until last night.

He has moved back to his home town, Peoria Illinois, and invited me over for a beer last 
night. Here is a link his cool blog below!
http://www.meanwhilebackinpeoria.com/

To make a long story, even longer, I am always nervous about meeting people because I'm basically a shy guy, and have trouble using my mouth to talk, and feel intimidated by famous people like Marty.

All my fears and anxiety were unfounded, because Marty Wombacher proved to be one of the nicest guys I've ever met, and made me feel like a long lost brudder!

                        Disclaimer: Actually no hugging took place at any time during this historical visit.                

We went to Schooner's Restaurant for their gigantic "King Tenderloin."

Marty had not been there for years, but he is so gregarious that he had everyone laughing and having a great time!

Almost like he was hosting a party!

"What does this have to do with "Madness Music Monday's," you asked so inquiringly.

Well, I'll tell ya! 

These feelings I had of happiness, camaraderie, friendship, being welcome, and just plain fun is what I'm trying to convey in my song, "Happy Time!"

 See if you agree...Click on link to feel happy: 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EpwYYbx0eks

Thanks for the great time, Marty!

We need to dodat again sometime!!

FAN FRIDAYS

FAN FRIDAYS FAN FRIDAYS

Welcome to Fan Fridays, where I tell you about all of my favorite entertainers and others I've admired and respected over my many years of  fanatical devotion to people I don't really know, in most cases.

FAN FRIDAYS

On this Friday we discuss my favorite entertainer of all time...taa daa, taa daa! 

RICHIE HAVENS 

RICHIE HAVENSRICHIE RICHIE HAVENSRICHIE HAVENS

Richie Havens, My Favorite 

I'll never forget the first time I saw Richie Havens. 

It was at Woodstock .

I mean, in the movie.
I actually turned down the opportunity to go to Woodstock when I was stationed at Fort Belvoir, Virginia and a couple of guys in my platoon invited me to go with them to New York for the festival. 

I've ALWAYS done stupid things like that!

FAN FRIDAYFAN FRIDAYS FAN FRIDAYS

Back to Richie Havens...If I recollect correctly, Havens was the first act to appear in the movie, and I could not focus on any other band, singer, git fiddle playin' or anything after him!

I know I've told you this before, but allow me to  totally bore you once again.

I do not judge music by, how good the guitar player is, how high or low the singer can sing, how well the lyrics are written, or none of that logical stuff.

I go by how the music makes me feel inside, and if it puts me "THERE."

The Beatles, Pink Floyd, The Who, The Guess Who, and the You Know Who, all put me "THERE" at times.

However, Richie Havens puts me "THERE" every time he sings, no matter what song he sings!

In fact, MOST of his songs are "covers," and that's something I usually do not like in performers. I want them to have original music.

Come on, folks, who would you rather hear sing "Just Like A Woman," the writer, Bob Dylan (world's worst singer, except for Yoko), or Richie Havens in his beautiful baritone voice?

FAN FRIDAYS

I saw Richie Havens live in concert 3 times and they were the 3 best concerts I've ever attended. (And I've seen The Beach Boys!)

Now, there is a song he wrote with ("Fiddler") Louis Gossett Jr. that is my favorite song of all time. 

If you take the time to listen to this song, I think you'll understand why I'm so nutty about my man Richie.

If you don't take the time to listen to this song, I don't blame you...It's a long song, and I know how busy you are.

Too bad, though, because you'll miss the opportunity to be lifted to the mellow, unbelievably gorgeous place I like to call "THERE!"

The title is simple, my friends, It's called Follow:

In conclusion, my cool and hilarious friend, Marty Wombacher, harassed and disrupted a concert given my beloved idol, Richie Havens, in his misspent youth.

You would probably think that this would be upsetting to me, and you would be correct, if the story wasn't such a scream! 

THOUGHTFUL THURSDAYS

Thoughtful Thursdays are designed to take us away to a more gentle, peaceful place in our minds and hearts.

To virtually fondle the muscles in the back of our tired neck ever so softly,

 and massage our aching feet with exquisite perfection .

I Wish I Knew

I wish I knew if my dog Fluffy will meet me in heaven when I arrive.

I wish I knew how to really overcome my shyness, and not just pretend.

I wish I knew how to survive in the wilderness.

I wish I knew the names of all different kinds of trees, birds, and flowers.

I wish I knew why some people don't like me from our first meeting.

I wish I knew how to play the piano.

I wish I knew how to fly an airplane.

I wish I knew how to comfort people at a funeral.

I wish I knew how to never say the wrong thing.

I wish I knew how to teach my granddaughters everything they need to know for a happy life.

I wish I knew how to keep Benji (our Yorkie) from barking at everyone that walks down the sidewalk.

I wish I knew how to use a sewing machine to hem my pants. (I have extra short legs)

I wish I knew the cure for my granddaughter Breanna, who has C.F.,  and her sister who suffers from autism.

I wish I knew how to love as unconditionally as my wife Donna.

I wish I knew how my friend Greg Batton has developed such a kind, loving heart that is beyond my understanding.

I wish I knew how my friend from Norway, Sara Marie , has developed such a sweet, beautiful, honest, gregarious personality that is so attractive to everyone.

I wish I knew if I'll ever be able to meet Sara-Marie, Cheryl M.,

Jay, Dan Tulloh, Yoz , Richie Havens, and Joni Mitchell. (That would be a dream come true)

I wish I knew how many minds and hearts I've reached with my songs, blog, and little jingles I've written for the radio.

I wish I knew if the Lord will answer every question I've ever wondered about when I meet him. I hope so, I'm so curious!