Out Of This World Wednesdays
Where we journey through lite beers...I mean, light years of cold empty space, to discover strange, mind blowing, & cool...
Things out of this world, world, world, world, world!!!
Here is the fascinating continuation of..
THE GLIRKAZOIDS
We are running out of tom, so lets get back to the total obliteration of Glirka.
SOOOOOO, all the miniature spaceships are just a wee bit ahead of the ever expanding flames from the EXPLODED planet!
( This next part is really cool, because it’s narrated by some guy with a real deep voice. Probably Sam Elliott, because James Earl Jones is WAY too busy!)
THE Glirkazoids traveled to thousands of diverse galaxies, universes and planets.
One of the planets happened to be in the Milky Way galaxy.
( Not to be confused with the Snickers galaxy)
The so called, third rock from the sun,……………………………....................................................EARTH!!!!!!!!
(Now, when “Sam” says earth, in his super deep voice, with an echo that reverberates throughout the movie theater, you feel like a covey of quail just flew out your “pharter!”)
Coincidentally, one of the Glirkazoid ships “lands” on earth at exactly the same time and general location of the birth of JESUS.
Many eyewitness accounts of the first Christmas, such as the “STAR,” the “WISE MEN,” and the “SHEPARDS”, were totally missed by the "Glirkanauts," because they were too busy celebrating their two point landing.(And two points out of three ain’t bad!)
They promised themselves they would break out the candy cane when the “fat lady sings”, so, I guess, they figured she sang, and got high on the cane. Glirkazoids get high on candy cane! ( See:“Chicken’s Butts and Coconuts Will Ultimately Make Or Break You." Chapter 10)
However, after a few years they came to know Jesus and came to believe; Quote: “ He is the genesis and eternal fountain of all knowledge, wisdom, love and compassion.”
( See: “Chickens Butts and Coconuts Will Ultimately Make Or Break You.” Chapter 10, again.)
Practically all major inventions, scientific discoveries, breakthroughs in music, art, and literature since the time of Christ, were inspired by the Glirkazoids.
“If that’s true”, you ask so Doubting Tomishly, “ Why are these, so called, Glirkazoids, never seen by the general public? Hmmmm?”
Chihuahua!
Now didn’t I tell you guys to read “Chicken’s Butts and Coconuts Will Ultimately Make Or Break You” BEFORE reading this blog?
You promised!
Or did you? It could be my managination.
Well, anyway; if you had read chapter 5 of my first book you would have known that Glirkazoids are only 4 inches tall, MAX!
In addition, they are masters of disguise!
Did you really think that all lab animals are simply, um…….lab animals?
Heck no!
You can bet that one or two of those white rats or guinea pigs are Glirkazoids, incognito.
They leave the cages at night and correct, improve, and basically redo all of the shoddy work done by “scientists” around the world.
Do you think DeVinci came up with all that “crap” by himself?
El no no!
He had a whole team of Glirkazoids, secretly helping him, and the big moron never even knew they were there.
I guess you think the Beatles came up with all of that, “out of this world” music on their own, huh?
Look in the cars and trees for those little Glirkazoids!
Take a magnifying glass and look closely at their album covers. Sgt. Peppers, Magical Mystery Tour; even Abby Road has a Glirkazoid or two subliminally hidden here and there in the picture.
Did you find a couple of Glirkazoids in the picture?
Get it? A LITTLE help! Because Glirkazoids are LIT………..Nevermind.
More evidence is found in the lyrics to this classic Beatles song...I Get By With A LITTLE Help From My Friends...
Can't you see, they were singing about the Glirkazoids helping them!
Okay, here's the list I was telling you about:
Beethovan
George Carlin
Dr. Seuss
Picasso
Madame Curie
Jim Henson
Steve Allen Robin Williams Galileo
Miles Davis Winston Churchill
Groucho Marx
Einstein Issac Newton
Dennis Miller
Orson Bean
Wally Cox
Andy Kaufman
Jason Heath Mozart Peter Sellers
Dr. Irwin Corey
Duke Ellington Gandhi
Abe Lincoln Rod Serling
Lewis Carroll
L. Frank Baum Elvis
Daws Butler
Joni Mitchell Dizzy Gillespie
Flipper
Greg Batton
Louie Armstrong
John Phillip Sousa
Charles Schultz
Adam Lambert
Celine Dion
Howard Hughes Enrico Caruso
Lon Chaney
Whoopi Goldberg
Marty Wombacher
Danny Maness
Now, did you happen to notice that many of the people on the list are “unlikely subjects?”
Andy Kaufman? Wally Cox? Me, for heaven’s sake?
Well, it’s all because of the ( Three very loud and dramatic notes are played when I say this next word, like; DUM DUM, DUMMMMMM!) “GAME!”
The utmost favorite thing for Glirkazoids is playing the “GAME.”
It is really very simple.
They look for the most unlikely human to succeed, and help him/her to climb to the highest heights of wealth, fame, power and worldwide recognition.
However, even the best “Glirkazoidian Gamers” have failures from time to time. , Charlie Sheen, Lindsay Lohan and Pee-Wee Herman are three examples.
I know what you are thinking.
Those people had a measure of success and fame.
Yes, that’s true, but the Glirkazoids wanted ALL three of them to become president!
( What is that old saying about a “silk purse?”)
PLEASE! PAY ATTENTION TO THE NEXT PORTION OF THE Blog!
This may very well be the most important section of the whole dang blog because it’s all about ME!
Remember back in the first chapter of my first book, when the Glirkazoids saw me with their stare-a scope and started laughing?
Quote:"We flash back to Lef-tenant Sqraatz looking at me through the “stare-a-scope” and just laughing his/her “krapper” off!"
(It's hard to tell a Glirkazoid's sex without a thorough examination.)
No? Well, that’s what happened, bubble brain!
Anyway, they immediately discerned that I was a perfect “contestant” for the “GAME.”
We need to make an abrupt stop for a quiz!!!
UNDERLINE TRUE OR FALSE
1. Oglama loved criticism. True or False
2. One Glirkazoid escaped world destruction. True or False
3. Glirkan flowers make you puke. True or False
4. The mountains of Glirka look like Devo hats. True or False
5. The mountains of Glirka give you a rash. True or False
6. “Glirf” tastes like Dr. Pepper. True or False
7. Glirkan cities resemble San Francisco. True or False
8. DeVinci was a moron. True or False
9. Einstein was a Glirkazoid in disguise. True or False
10. The author of this book is still crazy. True or False
(More about me, me, me....next Wednesday!!!)
