THOUGHTFUL THURSDAY

 I wonder if my grandpa had the same problem as me, and my great grandpa, and all of my grandpa's throughout my family history.

What problem?

Trying to keep up, and make sense of all the changes in society.

Same sex marriage, for instance.

I honestly don't get it.

I think it's like eating an octopus.

I never in my wildest imagination would ever dream of eating an octopus!

However, some folks absolutely love chowing down on octopus! 

I do not hate the people that love to eat octopus, it's just hard for me to comprehend in my limited, frequently battered from playing football, brain, how somebody could eat octopus!

When I was a kid, gay people were called fruits, queers, homos, faggots, and other unkind things.

They would get beat up, made fun of, and banned from the elite circles of kids.

Gay Texan beaten by 3 cowardly guys.

Now, it's almost a status symbol to have gay friends, and anyone who makes a negative, bigoted statement about someone's sexual preference is ridiculed and berated by the elite group.

What an enormous change has taken place since I was a kid!

From homosexuality being deviant, sick, nasty, abnormal behavior, and an abomination (Wow! Just the word abomination makes it sound  extra bad!)...
to accepted, approved, normal, loving affection of a soul mate, and legally sanctioned behavior!

How am I supposed to twist my brain around 180 degrees like that?!

Give me a break, I'm old and not fond of ANY kind of change!

I'm still trying to wrap my mind around touchless faucets and electronic toilet flush things...and don't get me started on those cock-a-doodie hand blow dryers instead of perfectly good paper towels!

I really love gay people... I have for years! 

Starting with Liberace, then the Brady Bunch dad, Elton John, Ellen, all the way up to Adam Lambert. 

In all honesty, I think I really didn't LOVE gay people until Will and Grace.

I found out that gay folks have feelings like everybody else, and they are hysterically funny!

I just get a creepy feeling when I see a dude kissing another dude on a tv show like that, on a soap opera, or in a movie! Sorry, but I'm just being honest.

What?! 

I'm not a homophobe!

I'm not AFRAID of gay guys, it just makes me uncomfortable to see them kissing each other, the same way I would feel uncomfortable if I watched someone eating an octopus carcass!

I don't hate the octopus eater for eating the octopus.

In the same way, I don't hate a gay for kissing another gay guy, it's just hard for me to understand those feelings.


From mankind's earliest writings, homosexuality has been viewed as an abomination, a sin against nature, in nearly every society that has ever existed..until the last few years.

So, I guess I just answered my own question. 

I do have to cope with changes my forefathers never had to face.

God help me be kind, caring, and compassionate to everyone, in spite of their different beliefs, moral decisions, and attitudes that I don't understand.
My sins are just as bad as everybody's sins, and I do not deserve your forgiveness and understanding.
So, who am I to judge other people.
Amen.

OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY

In the distant future past.

On a planet far ago,

Lived a Glirkazoid named Gary,

Who would always say, "hello,"

To every little creature,

That he met along his way,

As he strolled along the glidewalk,

That he traveled every day.

His violet heart was beating fast,

He knew that soon he'd see,

A sight that made him happy,

And filled his life with glee,

That perked up his antennas,

Each day upon his hike,

The beautiful, sweet, 

Lady Mim, riding her pink bike.

She rode past him every morning,

When the Glirkan sun turned blue,

And he didn't know just what to say,

Or what he had to do,

To make her stop and chat a bit,

Or maybe share a bite,

This lovely, charming,

Lady Mim, riding her pink bike.

The gloggies never barked at her,

They knew that she was nice,

She lived near by a country lake,

A little paradise,

The sight of Mim and her bright smile,

Made even the purtles take flight,

They'd fly up high,

For Lady Mim, riding her pink bike.

Gary said, "This is the day 

that I will find the nerve, 

To share the feelings in my heart,

When she slows for this curve,"

But the only thing that he could do,

Was smile and wave in fright,

To the sweet and lovely,

Lady Mim, riding her pink bike.

TRAVELIN' TUESDAY

In the "olden days" we didn't have 4 lane, divided, super highways to zoom us  across America like there is today!

We had narrow, undivided, two lane highways that went through every little town along the route.

Route 67, for example.

When we drove from St.Louis to my Grandpa's farm near Silva, Missouri (not far from Piedmont, if that helps), we had the pleasure of going through Fredricktown, Farmington, Bonne Terre (Good Earth), and even Lodi Missouri.

Well, Bonne Terre was actually off the old route 67, but we could see the lead mine chat mounds, or whatever they were called.

The area always looked all dry and desert-like to me.

Lodi was so small I shouldn't be counting that either.

The 2012 Lodi (zip 63950), MO, population is 53. There are 6 people per square mile (population density). 
Families of Lodi
The median age is 47.3. The US median is 37.3. 58.54% of people in Lodi (zip 63950), MO, are married. 11.36% are divorced.
The average household size is 2.36 people. 20.00% of people are married, with children. 13.33% have children, but are single.

Race in Lodi 

98.11% of people are white, 0.00% are black, 0.00% are asian, 0.00% are native american, and 0.00% claim 'Other'.
50.15% of the people in Lodi claim hispanic (meaning 49.85% are non-hispanic).

Now, I may be all wrong about the towns we went through on route 67, if it REALLY was route 67, and if Bonne Terre even had lead mines, but that's the way I clearly remember it.

We would always see the BURMA SHAVE signs that were witty and funny.

For instance: If it's music...you do crave...get a tuba...BURMA SHAVE!

Not Missouri, but the best Burma Shave sign picture I could find.

I'm so glad we are finally to the part where we hit the country roads!

That's what I liked best!

When we got to Silva we started driving down the almost one lane, reddish clay, gravel roads that actually had creeks running over the road in places!

At dry times there would only be a trickle of water running across the road, but in rainy times it would be wide, and deep with water, and dad had to be careful not to stall the car out in the middle of the raging torrent!

Very cool, indeed!

If another car came the other way, we had to pull as far over as we could to let him go by, and everybody would wave to each other! 

That's what they did down there.

We couldn't really wave to everybody in St. Louis, because there were too many people,

and we would have been arrested, I think.

This story is really cool! 

My Grandpa was not known for being the sweetest man on earth, but one time we went down to his farm in the spring, he hooked a little wooden trailer to his tractor, and he took all of us kids around to see the newborn baby pigs, calves, and other creatures that doth did dwell upon his 900 acres of farm and timber land.

I kept asking why the bull was playing piggy-back with the cows, but no one seemed to know the answer.

Maness Music Mondays

Everybody knows a Bryant Oden song!
http://www.songdrops.com/

He has over 250 million views on YouTube!

The most famous is "The Duck Song"/ "Got Any Grapes?"

I also love his "B.F.F. Song," "Bob The Snail," "Before I Could Rhyme" and almost everything he does!

No! His songs are not just for kids!

They are for old, demented dudes like me, too!

Bryant Oden brings out the child in me with his whimsical wordplay and masterful melodies that sometimes touch my heart and oft times tickle me funny bone! Now, where's my cock-a-doodie medication!

Anyway, I love his work so much, I did a tribute song for him, and when he contacted me, I wrote another one!

Here they are! YAY!!!!

ST. LOUIS SUNDAY

The Admiral boat has nothing to do with my blog today, so I'm not really sure why I includrd this picture.  Maybe just because it's SLS. In fact, I'm still bitter because I never got to go on her!

My backyard was not very big, but so much happened there it seemed bigger.

(Like John Dalton in Roadhouse..."I thought you would be bigger!")

The garage took up a lot of room, and I spent a heck of a lot of tom in that place. (Who's Tom?)

The garage was made of oak, and you could not drive a nail into it! In fact, you could hardly stick a dart in the wood! (We had a dart board hanging on a nail that was already sticking out of the wood when we moved there.)

They darts would usually just bounce off the wall!

Then how did they build the sucker?

Someone said the wood must have been green when they nailed it together, and then it got harder when it cured.

Picture of my mom, fluffy's head at bottom left...garage in back.

I personally believe there was an invisible force field lining the inside of the garage, created by an ancient alien race of creatures called Glirkazoids.

We had an old, beat up, worn out pool table that my dad had picked up somewhere. 

It was real cheaply made with a micro-thin, felt surface where the balls rolled around,  and the bottom would drop out of the ball retrieval chute after a few games, and they would roll all over the garage floor.

We could not afford a real cue stick, so my brother Dick made a homemade pool stick that had a roughed up tip that made it super easy to miscue and send the ball careening through the hot, humid, July, St. Louis garage air.

My  most memorable moment in the garage was when Doug Deubel and me were playing pool, minding our own business, and this music came on the radio that was unlike anything we had ever heard!

The sound did not simply reach my ears, it went way down to my heart and soul, and stimulated my imagination!

So here we were playing pool and singing to a song that we really didn't know the words to yet, and feeling like the future was gonna be way cool!

The song was "I Want To Hold Your Hand."

My second most memorable time from the annals of the garage was when I was younger. Maybe 7 or 8.

My dad had an old electrical cord hanging on one of those peg board type thingys above his work bench.

It had an electrical plug on one end and two bare wires on the other end.

I wondered what would happen if I 

plugged the plug into the top holes of the socket, and then stick the two bare wires on the other end into the bottom holes of the socket.

You guys know what an arc welder sounds like, don't you?

I was so surprised when my dad came running out there and didn't even yell at me like he usually did when I did something stupid!

I think he was expecting me to be dead, so almost getting killed saved my life!

One of our favorite things to do (me and my buddies) was to climb up on the garage roof at night, to get a "birds eye view" of all the cool "happenings" going on in the neighborhood.

We loved to watch the next door neighbor guy come home drunk every night, the fancy people who lived behind us having yard parties and such,  the kennel of prize winning beagle dogs owned by the neighbors on the other side of the yard (that our dog Fluffy would violate by climbing the fence), and needless to say, we would have fun making weird sounds, doing bird calls, barking, meowing, anything to confuse and tick off our neighbors from our unseen spot on the garage roof.

I almost forgot about the backyard!

It was about 90 feet long and 60 feet wide.

I'm not sure, my sister Dee-Dee can correct me on this, she remembers everything.

Anyway, it was long and narrow. Great for playing catch with my dad!

My dad was such a great baseball player he could have been on the Cardinals team...but that's a long story.

He could throw a baseball straight up in the air, so high it looked like a marble, and make it come down in the exact same spot he threw it.

That gave me a lot of practice in catching fly balls when I played baseball.

He could throw the ball so hard that it was a little scary playing catch with him, and when he threw his knuckle ball, where it looked like it was moving in slow motion, and you could see the stitches on the ball like it was standing still, it was super frightening!

I would also play fetch with Fluffy for hours on end in the backyard, dad would grill out back there (with his grill made from a 55 gallon drum), we had water fights, washed the cars, wrestled...back then it seemed so ordinary, and even mundane at times.

It is only now that I realize what a paradise we had..uh..right...in...our...own...backyard.

SATURDAY MORNING POST

IRS AND NSA WILL START HIRING PEEPING TOMS AS NEW AGENTS

JAMES GANDOLFINI GREETED IN AFTERLIFE  BY HUMPHREY BOGART, JAMES CAGNEY, AND EDWARD G. ROBINSON TO PLAN HOW THEY'RE GONNA "WHACK" THE DEVIL

TTIGER WOODS, BILL CLINTON, AND ANTHONY WIENER APPOINTED BY PRESIDENT OBAMA TO INSPECT WOMEN'S COLLEGES...ALL 3 PROMISE TRANSPARENCY

DOCTOR OZ FOUND DEAD IN ALLEY BEHIND KRISPY KREME DONUT SHOP... HE DIED OF SUGAR SHOCK  FROM INGESTING 2 DOZEN GLAZED DONUTS AND 2 CASES OF COKE

U.S. GOVERNMENT PROMISES TO FINALLY FINISH FENCE ALONG MEXICAN BORDER...AFTER THEY RELEASE THE INFO ON AREA 51, TELL US WHO REALLY SHOT J.F.K., AND REVEAL HOW THEY FAKED THE MOON LANDINGS

THE LEGALIZATION OF MARIJUANA IN COLORADO AND WASHINGTON STATE HAS NOT HAD ANY NEGATIVE EFFECTS UPON THE PART OF THE POPULATION WHO DO NOT CARE TO WORK, DRIVE, STAY ON A DIET, CONCENTRATE, FOCUS, STUDY, OR DO ANYTHING FAST