OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY

In the last amazing episode of Out Of This World Wednesday, our two spaze cowpokes, Yellow Rose and Gary, have donned their gay apparel to thwart the plans of the creatures from Galactapus, who want to emulsificate all inhabitants of the Earth!

Since the Galactaputan's are NOT environmentally conscious, they have to roam from planet to planet in search of inhabitable places to live, because they have a tendency to destroy the environment of every planet they conquer! 

Spaze is remarkably beautiful and frightening at the same tom. It is vast and half vast. Filled with lots of spaze junk and empty as a gamblers bank account. Totally dark, but brilliant in bursts of light that makes Gary's long eyes squint! 

As our intrepid heroes traverse the billions of light years, in the Silver Sausage spazeship, Gary begins to speak...

Gary - "Are we there yet?"

Rosie - "Knock it off, Gary! We've only traversed 222,000 light years, and you have asked "are we there yet" 5 toms!"

Gary - "I need to go to the bathroom!"

Rosie - "I asked if you needed to go before we left Glirka, and you said no!"

Gary - "I didn't need to go then!"

Rosie - "Why not use the ships bathroom, knucklehead?"

Gary - "It's so cramped. Rosie! I need to feel free...to pee!"

Rosie - "Good grief! Gary, you don't have any choice. There are no spaze rest areas for the next million epoks!" (An epok is the equivalent of 14.5 light years)

Gary - "Okay, okay! I might as well do a number 3 while I'm in there."

Rosie - "A number 3?"

Gary - "Yeah...a number one AND a number 2!"

Rosie - "Way too much information, Gary!" 

After about an hour, Gary comes running out of the "head" (another name for the latrine) with toilet paper stuck to his shoe.

Gary - "Rosie, Rosie...I've come up with a fantastic idea of how to stop the Galactaputans from destroying the earthlings! We simply emulsificate all of them before they emulsificate the Earth's population!"

Rosie - "Isn't that a bit drastic, Gary? By the way, could you please remove the T.P. from your shoe, you're grossing me out!"

Gary - "Hmmph...you got any better ideas, Einstein?" (He asks this while extricating the T.P. from his shoe and washing his hands again)

Rosie - "As a matter of fact, I do!" 

What is Rosie's plan?

Want to find out?

Did Gary get ALL the T.P. off his shoe?

Join us next week for the next episode of 

OUT

OF 

This 

World

WEDNESDAY!!!!!!!!!

OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY

The inhabitants of Galactapus are the average spaze creatures. They are very advanced technologically, but do not take care of their environment, or should I say environments, because they move from planet to planet using up all of the natural resources until they are totally depleted. 

The Galactaputans have already sent one of their secret Galastronauts, to set up the emulsification stations that will emulsificate every human bean on Earth, so they can obtain the planet for their recreational needs.

Through top secret spy stuff, the Glirkazoid High Counsel has discovered the Galactaputans plan to conquer the Earth, and have relayed the important message to our legendary heroes, Yellow Rose and Gary.

Gary - "Rosie! We received a message from the High Counsel."

Rosie - "Did you park in the Supreme Glirkhead's parking spot again, Gary?"

Gary - "Yes, I did, but this isn't about that, this tom."

Those dudes from Galactapus are planning to emulsificate all of the folks on Earth, to take over that rockin' planet, and this is WAY unacceptable!"

Rosie - "You're durn tootin', Gary! What would the universe do without Coldplay?!" 

Gary - "Coldplay? Is that all you ever think about?! It's Coldplay this and Chris Martin that, and..."

Rosie - "Who else is worth saving on Earth other than that dreamy Chris Martin, hmmm?"

Gary - "Lots of people! Just let me think...uh...

Rosie - "See! You can't think of anybody worth saving, can you?"

Gary - "Give me a little tom! Wait a minute...little tom...Tom Cruise is worth saving! Remember how good he was in Rainman?"

Rosie - "Are you kidding? Dustin Hoffman made him look like a kid playing a cherry tree in a kindergarten production of George Washington Slept Here!" 

Gary - "George who?"

Rosie - "Nevermind, it's worth saving the Earth for Chris Martin, alone!"

Gary - "Cool! Let's get our super-hero costumes on, and go save the Earth!" 

Rosie changes into her super-hero costume right away!

Gary - "Wowie Zowie, Rosie! That outfit is really form fitting, isn't it?"

Rosie - "It has to be, to reduce friction, while I zoom across the universe! Now put on your super hero costume, Gary.

Rosie - You are naked, as usual, Gary! Where's your super-hero costume?"

Gary - "I can't find it, Rosie! I thought I put it in my secret spaze compartment on the poop deck of the Silver Sausage, but it disappeared!" 

Rosie - "Male Glirkazoids can't find anything! Let me look. (A few minutes go by) I found your costume right away!"

Gary - "Where was it?"

Rosie - "On your bed, Gary! Now put it on."

Gary puts on his unique costume.

Rosie - "Pretty awesome, pardner...but I think you could lose the red feathers...and what is that Japanese writing on the breast piece?"

Gary - "Made in Japan costumes are a LOT cheaper, Rosie."

Rosie - "The shipping must cost a fortune from Japan to Glirka!"

Gary - "We can discuss this later, me luv! Right now, we need to chant our traditional "going on a mission" chant, and then it's off to save the inhabitants of the Earth!"

Gary and Yellow Rose do the chant/cheer type thingy...

We're Glirkazoids, we're Glirkazoids,

We never show our fear,

It really helps our courage,

When we drink a lot of beer,

(Now they both chug down a beer)

We're Glirkazoids, we're Glirkazoids,

We are Yellow Rose and Gary,

And if we drink another beer,

Our job won't seem so scary! 

(Now they drink another beer)

They keep repeating this chant and drinking beer until they are sufficiently dru , I mean READY for the dangerous mission! 

Feel free to join us next Wednesday for another episode of OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY!!!

OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY

Courage is being scared to death... and saddling up anyway.

                                                                            John Wayne

thei last mission to Earth

Over the past millions and billions of spaze years, our super heroes, Gary and Yellow Rose have fought for everything right, good, sweet, and innocent, in the universe. 

On their last mission, they found startling evidence that the creatures from the planet, Galactapus, are planning to EMULSIFICATE all of the inhabitants on Earth!!

Here is the top secret video they found, for your edification...

Well, well, well...It looks like another adventure is looming for our intrepid heroes!

How will they stop the Galactaputans, led by the little space dude?

Is it even possible to prevent the emulsification of billions of innocent human beans? (Beans?)

Is the little space dude inhaling helium? 

Discover the answers in the next OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY...DAY...DAY...DAY....I'm trying to do an echo sound! Ha!

OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY

Semi-triangular, inter- dimensional QUIZ!!!

Question 1. What is the name of Gary and Rosie's spazeship?

2. What kind of creatures are Gary and Rosie?

3. What is Rosie's full name? Hint...Y.R.

4. How tall are Glirkazoids, on average? 

Hint

5. True or false. Glirkazoids love Jesus.

6. What is Rosie's favorite band? Hint...Rhymes with boldclay.

7. True or false. Rosie and Gary are married.

8. True or false. Glirkazoids are evil.

9. What is the instrument used to STARE at things from Gary and Rosie's spazeship? Hint...Rhymes with periscope.

10. Name the planet on which Rosie and Gary dwell.

If you answer all 10 questions correctly, you are an official Glirkazoid Commander Of The Realm!!

See yawl next week for OUT OF THIS WORM WEDNESDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY

Gary makes a perfect one point landing on Earth, and one point out of five ain't bad in Gary's case! 

Artists conception of the Silver Sausage Spazeship

Rosie - "I hope we can get this ship back off the ground, Gary!" 

Gary - "It's fine, Rosie! Not a single scratch!"

Rosie - "You're right, "Buck Rogers," there's about 500 scratches, 12 dents, a broken phrenibbulator, a cracked cull shield, and a smashed bumper!"

Gary - "Rosie, Rosie, Rosie! Don't you remember that the Silver Sausage has the ability to repair itself? 

At that, the Silver Sausage begins twisting, turning, creaking, tweaking and slowly repairing itself...just like Christine, the creepy car! 

Rosie - "Lands sake...THAT really creeps me out, Gary!"

Gary - "Lands sake? Where did you get that expression, Rosie!"

Rosie - "I was looking at an ancient book, entitled,"Cool Earth Expressions That Will Help Glirkazoids To Blend In On Earth!"

Gary - "Uh...okay. Anyway, we need to find Benny, grab the treasured 45 rpm record, and get it back to our home planet, Glirka, for safe keeping!"

Rosie - "I cannot wait to listen to Elvis sing, "I kissed a Glirkazoid And I liked It" on that old 45!"

Gary - "Are you crazy? 

"One...We are not permitted to listen to that song! Two...The old 45 is too fragile to be played by amateurs like us!

Three...We don't have a cockadoodie record player...dang it!"

Now we see our intrepid warriors going door to door in Paducah, Kentucky, asking for Benny, and they are getting sore tired until THIS happens...

(Rosie and Gary approach an old southern mansion on the outskirts of Paducah, and Gary knocks on the door. An ancient looking man (who looks a lot like Elvis) opens the door...

Gary - "We are looking for Benny!"

Old geezer - "Why, I'm Benny!"

Then Gary says the secret code message to him.

Gary - "Muse is hot!" (No response from the old geese!) "I said, MUSE is HOT!" (Still no response!)

Rosie - "Gary!! It's not MUSE is hot, it's COLDPLAY is hot!!"

On hearing that, "pops" responds with, "so is Texas in July," and he hands Rosie the priceless 45 rpm record! 

At that very moment, a strange creature jumps out from behind some bushes, and grabs the valuable record! 

Rosie and Gary cannot believe their eyes! The horrible creature that has been following them from Glirka, across the vast universe, around asteroids, and all the way to Paducah...is...is...wait for it...

Please play dramatic music! 

BIG GAZZA!!!

Big Gazza - "Gidday, Mates! I've been waitin' ta get this bloody record since Matilda was a pup, and now I' m gonna play it on this old, portable, battery operated record player before I share it with the universe! (EVIL LAUGH) HA HA HA HA HA!!!

Rosie - "You can't do that, Big Gazza! If other races of creatures hear, "I Kissed A Glirkazoid, and I Liked It," they will all descend upon our planet by the billions, and want to kiss us, mate with us, and who knows what else with us!!!" 

Big Gazza - "Me no care, pretty girl Glirkazoid! I'm giving this old record a spin right now, just for the fun of it!" (He plays the record)

Big Gazza begins crying and hands the recording back to our super heroes.

Big Gazza - "That's the most beauteous song I ever heard! I cannot take it from you two! It belongs to the Glirkazoids!"

Gary - "Well, Rosie, another mission accomplished! Where shall we go for lunch?"

Rosie - "White Castle, of course!!"

Out Of This World Wednesday Will Be Preempted By My New Song!

Please enjoy this musical interlude!

Next week...we will resume our exciting adventures of Gary and Rosie...in...

OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY!

That stalagmite on the right reminds me of a ...uh...I think it starts with a P! 

As Gary and Rosie zoom off to Paducah, Kentucky, in their Silver Sausage Spazeship, 

to retrieve the priceless 45 rpm record, entitled, I Kissed A Glirkazoid And I liked It, by Elvis, they are followed by a mysterious, ugly warship, piloted by a more mysterious creature, intent on grabbing that record that could cause the demise of the whole Glirkazoid race!

I've got it! That stalagmite looks like a big POPSICLE!!

Now where was I?

Gary - "Rosie, I think we are being tailed!"

Rosie - "Can you make out what kind of ship it is?"

Gary - "This is no time to "make out," Rosie! We are on a serious mission!"

Rosie - (Gets right in his face and speaks loudly) "Clean out your ears, grandpa! What kind of ship is it?!"

Gary - "You don't have to yell...I ain't deef!" (Gary looks through his stare-a-scope) "Yee doggies, I've never seen a spazeship like this one, but I can tell you one thing about it."

Rosie - "What's that?"

Gary - It's BUTT UGLY!" 

It's like a checkerboard meets a referee, meets tang , meets a war bird...on "acid!" 

Rosie - "Let me look, Gary!" (She looks through the stare-a-scope) "I think it's kind of cool!"

Gary - "Yeah, right! You're the one that thinks Chris Martian looks cool, too!"

Rosie - "MARTIN not martian! How many times do I have to tell..."

All of a sudden, their usual bickering is silenced by a warning signal...

Please press alarm for more realism!

Rosie - "Oh, crap! That's the alarm for an asteroid approaching!"

Gary - "We need to emulsficate the asteroid before it smashes the Silver Sausage, Rosie!"

Rosie - "Emulsificator at the ready, Captain!"

Gary - "On my count! One, two, EMULSIFICATE!!"

In less than a nano second, the gigantic, bigger that New York City, asteroid is emulsificated into tiny, little, burnt out ashes!

Gary - "Good shot, Co-Captain, Rosie! We can kiss our asteroid goodbye! You're beauty-full! Did I say beauty-full? Uh, I meant, umm...DUTY-full...yeah...uh...that's what I meant, Rosie...you always do your duty...you are full of duty-fullness!"

Rosie - "No worries, Gary! I know what you meant."

Rosie peers through the stare-a-scope again.

Rosie - "That funky looking mystery spazeship, that was tailing us, is gone! I wonder if the asteroid debris blew it out of the sky?"

Gary - "We can't worry about that now, Rosie. We are approaching Earth!"

Rosie - "Earth is so purdy! One of the most beautiful planets in the universe!"

Gary - "Yeah, it reminds me of a blue marble I used to play with in my youth."

Little do they know the dangers that await them on this deceptively beauteous planet!

Join our adventurers next week for OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY!!!