(Theme Song) (Allow about a minute to groove with the intro before talking.)

                            

                            Gordo - Good morning, Goofy Ridge! Grab your shorty robes, hug your radio, 

  and crank up your hearing aids! The Gordo and Danny Show is

 on the airwaves!

  I'm Gordo Battoncia, with our demented, dysfunctional crew, here and there...like Danny Dublin, my 

  sarcastic, sidekick... and man that hurts, when he kicks me in the side! 

Glen Thirsty,

   with the Goofy Ridge traffic report...Ag news with The Lost Donkey...and our 

    gnarly news girl...Drulia Badley!! 

Broadcasting from my house in Goofy Ridge, on 

     W.O.R. M. radio, A.M. The Big Worm wiggling out to you, live, to get you hooked

   on the biggest, and only, radio station in Goofy Ridge, Illinois! With 10 watts of power, blasting out

           trivial infornation, and confusing the logical since 2005! 

    Let's go to the basement and check in on Little Danny Dublin! Danny! 

Are the cucarachas

  biting down there again, Little Danny? 

  Little Danny - Top o' the mornin' to ya, Lardo! The creepy critters are leaving 

me alone,

    since the wee possum died down here! The smell could smack the blarney out of a leprechaun,

  but, saints be praised, the dirty pests are on him instead of me! 

     Gordo - How many times do I have to tell you, it's GORDO, not Lardo, but I'm glad the 

 cucarachas are staying away, they could give you apoplexi! 

 Little Danny - Me dearly departed uncle from County Cork suffered from apoplexi! It was very 

  painful in his neather regions! Me thinks he'd been playin' with the naughty lassies from Dillybong! 

 Me saintly mother would tell us profusely, "Stay away from the Dillybong teases, 'cause they 

will give ya nasty diseases! She also said...

Gordo - Too much info, brother! You always share too much info, but no probleemo, we been 

 sued mucho times before! Good thing we ain't got no money! (Gordo does a little celebration 

dance and a mariachi band cheer...what ever that is!) 

This would be a good time to check with Glen Thirsty, in the bathroom (Or whatever room 

 you choose) our Goofy Ridge traffic guru! Hey, Glen, is this a good "elbow driving" day?

 Glen Thirsty - (Obviously drunk) Hiiii! Girdle! Wha's elgibow driving, buddy? I have a hard time

driving with my HANDS! I love you, man! I really, really, really do, Girdy! 

Gordo - Sounds like you had breakfast with Capt. Morgan again, dude! He makes EVERYONE your

amigo, doesn't he? Anyway, elbow driving is driving with the window down on a beautiful day,

sticking your elbow out of the window, listening to mellow music, and flirting with the girls in 

convertibles...like Clark Griswold did with Christie Brinkley. 

 Glen Thirsty - I absoletely LOVE Bistey Crinkley, man! I love 'er, I love 'er, I love 'er...and

elgibow driving, and Chaplin Morgle...and I LOVE YOU, MAN! 

Gordo - Caramba!  Maybe we'll just skip the traffic report today. We only have

two streets in Goofy Ridge, and last year we had 222 alcohol related 

accidents at our only stoplight, but Glen was at the scene EVERY TIME! 

Speaking of accidents, let's go to the kitchen for our action news girl...Drulia Badley!

Drulia Badley - Groovy day, Gordo! This is, like, the action news, ya know, with, like, Drulia

Badley...Want something to blow your mind? The Goofy Ridge library was, like, broken in to

last night...and they took BOTH BOOKS! Wow, man! The Goofy Ridge police, ya know, want 

us to be on the lookout, like, for somebody reading! Reading? Wow, what a concept! 

Remember to not forget about the annual town festival, peeps! Goofy Days will, like, happen 

in just two days, from, uh...today. Wow, if I only knew what day this is, gang! Hey, did

somebody, like, cook cabbage in the kitchen this morning? 

The stink could knock a buzzard 

off a poop wagon, man! 

Gordo - Don't worry, Drulia, you're probably smelling the dead possum in the basement...or

maybe The Lost Donkey, our Ag reporter, who was here earlier! Let's go to The Lost Donkey, who 

is out standing in his field! 

The Lost Donkey - Gooood morning, Gordo! The...corn...is...as high...as...an elephants...eye...

                               and hogs...are as fat...as my Aunt Bertie's...cat! Ha...ha...ha...just...wanted...to...inject

a bit...of humor...in...my...report...

Gordo - We would love to hear more, The Lost, but the show is only 3 hours long!

Danny, I hear you had an 

Asian carp encounter this morning?

Little Danny - Sure n begora, I did, Lardo! There I was, strollin' along the loch, when a monster

Asian carp made a mighty leap out of the loch, swallowed me, and dove back into the loch! I thought 

it was "shade balls" for me, and I was 

thinkin' I'd soon be meetin' me sainted mother up in hiven, but I started to tickle the monster's 

innerds, and he regurgitated me back on terra firma! 

Gordo - Chihuahua, Little Danny! Maybe that's the smell everybody's been smelling! By the way,

this portion of the Gordo and Danny show is brought to you by, Uranus Used Cars! Don't have 

money...go to Uranus! Don't have credit...go to Uranus! I got a 57 Chevy from Uranus! It doesn't

run, but it looks so cool sitting on the concrete blocks in my front yard! As Little Danny always says,

Don't kick the tires, kick Moonbeam the mechanic, at Uranus Used Cars! 

On a serious note, some folks are complaining that our theme song sounds like the A.D.D. Wednesday

song from the Greg and Dan radio show! Ha ha ha! I'll play their song, and then ours, and you'll see 

there is nada similarities! 

(Maybe you can do a video of you groovin' to the music while it plays. I'll send you the songs)

Gordo - See what I mean? There's about as much difference in those themes as the difference

 between, uh, "My Sweet Lord" and, uh, let me see..."He's So Fine!"  

I just received a note from one of our listeners! Dear Gordo, your show sucks! Signed, Oscar!

Thank you very much, Oscar! You must be a grouch this morning! Anyway, it's good to know we 

have a listener!

Speaking of bad breath...is your dog afraid to stand in front of you when you talk? When you 

give a speech, does the room empty out? Does water run down your chin because it doesn't want

to go into your mouth? It could be your stinking breath, man! You need to try Dr. Moonies Breath

Revitilizer! Here's Glen Thirsty to tell you about it! 

Glen Thirsty - Hallomatosis is the scientrific word for bad breasts! Dr. Boonies Breast Revisilizer

will make all your social contracts...more sociable! No more will peoples avoid you because of bad 

breasts! Folks will even enjoy the smell! Want to be the life of the partay like ole Glen? Take Dr.

Roonies Breast Revisualators and...(passes out)

Gordo - Looks like we lost the signal to ole Glen! Hey, another note from ANOTHER listener! 

                                Due to non payment of your electric bill, we will be shutting down your service today at 6:00 

A.M. Aye chihuahua, not again! We've got 2 minutes! Might as well end the show with some flair!

(Do all the crazy stuff you want and I'll put in the music) (END) 

(Feel free to add whatever you want, Michael! Put in words that are more hip! There is no hurry!

I will send you some clips of my parts, if you need them, but I think you've already got the idea,

brother! Just plain household backgrounds, simple makeup changes, and whatever you want to adlib!

The more fun WE have, will make it more fun for the viewers!) 

    

OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY

Spaze!!!

Da vinyl front deer! Deez are da voyeurs of da starship, Silver Sausage! 

To find nude lice, eggs splore the univerz, to go where no Glirkazoid haz gone B-4, and who, disguised as Klark Cent, fites a neber in ding baddle, for trooth, jug stuff, and da Glirkazoidian vay!!!

Admiral Gary and his fadeful injun companion, Rosie, with a cloud of ducks, and a mytee Hio Sliver, lurk in da fearful hearts of creechores evil and malevolently wicket!

Once again I have proved you can't drink moonshine and write a blog at the same tom! Just messin' witcha! Ha Ha Ha! I don't drink adult beverages anymore...or any less! Hee haw, hee haw!!!

Rosie - "Hey, Gary! What do you think about the candidates running for president of Glirka?"

Gary - "Before I answer your thought provoking question, would you PLEASE change the font color, it's so girly.

Rosie - "Is this better?"

Gary - "No! This is like reverse newspaper print! Try something different, Rosie!"

Rosie - "Hows about this?"

Gary - "Not bad, but since I will be discussing the presidential candidates, could we use the patriotic colors of Glirkazoids?"

Rosie " Here ya go, buddy!"

Gary - "THANKS! This is perfect! Although it gives me a little deja-vu, for some strange reason!"

Rosie - "Fancy that!" (Chuckle, chuckle)

Rosie - "So, Gary, since you are a legendary hero, and greatly admired by the whole populace of our planet, Glirka, what do you think about this crop of presidential candidates, hmm?"

Gary - "Did you see my Milky Way candy bar, Rosie? I just had it here on the table and now it's gone?"

Rosie - "I'm sure it's around here somewhere, but about the candidates...

Gary - "Did you eat it, Rosie?"

Rosie - "Of course not! I don't even like Milky Way candy bars...now, if it had been a Snickers I..."

Gary - "ADMIT IT, ROSIE! You had to have taken it...we are the only ones on this spazeship! I'm walkin' away from this question and answer session!!

Rosie - "Gary, what's that dark stain on your butt?"

Gary immediately regrets having prunes, peanuts and beer for lunch!

Rosie goes over and smells the stain. A very courageous move, INDEED!

Rosie - (Begins to laugh and talk at the same tom) "Ha ha, Gary...you...ha ha ha, sat on your , Milky Way bar, ha ha ha ha..."

Gary - "Oh, I, uh, guess I put my Milky Way bar on the chair instead of the table. Isn't that funny?"

Rosie - "Ha ha ha ha...it sure is! Especially the fact that you sat on it, and accused me of stealing...HEY...you accused ME of eating your stupid Milky Way...you...you...who bears false witness!!!"

Gary - "Sorry. Now lets get back to the candidates."

Rosie - "Not so fast, Buster Brown! Turn around (click) I just took a picture of your butt stain and now I just put it on Spazebook for all our friends to see!"

Gary - "But, Rosie, they're gonna think..."

Rosie - "Exactamundo, poopy pants!!

Oh, my! What a childish, immature episode of Out Of This World Wednesday...but I kinda liked it!

OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY POME

(I never could spell poem!)

What a happy day it was,

When Rosie and Gary were born,

The peaceful creatures said "hooray,"

The wicked were forlorn. 

It was prophesied that they would come,

To save the universe,

Straight from the land of Glirkazoids,

A blessing, not a curse.

They learned the art of kick-yo-bot,

A style of self defense,

Rosie was a champion,

While Gary came in tenth.

When it came to education,

Gary kinda struggled,

Rosie tutored him a bit,

When he became befuddled. 

It was clear to everybody,

Rosie was a chosen one,

But there were doubts about our Gary,

Some even called him "dumb!"

Rosie knew they were mistaken,

In him she had pure faith,

She KNEW he was a chosen one,

Plus, he had the cutest face! 

Then came their day of testing,

Would they be the real deal,

The Glirkazoids all gathered,

For the contest and free meal.

They made it to the tropsticle course,

When much to their surprise,

A giant pterodactyl came,

From the purkle Glirkan skies.

He plucked up little Rosie,

And began to fly away,

Which made our Gary angry,

'Cause that's no way to play.

Gary grabbed a heavy glirkastone,

And hurled it at the beast,

He wasn't gonna let that "bird,"

Have Rosie as his feast!

He hit the pterodactyl,

Squarely on the knee,

Which made the ugly giant,

Drop Rosie in the sea.

Gary swam to her quite swiftly,

And saved her little bum,

With all the crowd a-watching,

Proving he's a chosen one.

Now for eons upon eons,

Our heroes never fail,

To vanquish all the evil beasts,

Throw enemies in jail.

Even when the future's dark,

When things get very scary,

We always can depend upon,

Sweet Rosie and brave Gary!

BURMA SHAVE

OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY

"Those who lose dreaming are lost!" 

The greatest comic and thespian in the universe, Gounderus, has been given the afore mentioned message, delivered by the amazing Australian prophet, Big Gaz. 

 Gounderus                              Big Gaz         

Instead of me going into all the details, go read last week's blog to save me some typing, okay? 

Did you read it? Did you notice the part with Gounderus and Big Gaz? Did you see the part about Gary and Rosie hunting down the big worm?

If not, I suggest you do dat now! I'll wait. 

Let's proceed, gang!

Gounderus - "So, here I am, in my dressing room, rich...famous...adored by my trillions of fans throughout the universe, and about to step out on the stage once again to knock 'em dead with my comedic genius, but something is missing. I should be ecstatically HAPPY, but something is wrong! 

Maybe it has something to do with the message Big Gaz gave me. Naaaah, it couldn't be that!"

Okay! Now through the magic of cinnamontography, we zoom in on an oasis in the middle of a desert, on a distant planet, where Rosie and Gary are tracking down the gargantuan worm of enormous size, who has swallowed the entire populace of the Kia Lambourghini province!

Gary - "I have a brilliant idea, Rosie!"

Rosie - "Oh, boy, that's bad."

Gary - "What did you just mumble, Rosie?"

Rosie - "Uh, I said, Oh, joy, I'm glad!"

Gary - "Have you ever seen a robin listening for worms and then sticking his/her beak into the ground and grabbing a big juicy one?"

Rosie - "Yes, but I don't think..."

Gary - "Well, I'll simply put my ear to the ground here...

When Gary puts his ear to the ground, the enormous worm BURSTS from the earth, and raises Gary up about 222 meters above Rosie! 

Gary - "Yeeeee-haaaaw! I got 'im, Rosie, I got 'im!!!

Rosie - (Yelling up to Gary) "Do you have him, or does he have you?!"

Gary - "Yes, you're right! We need a way to make him "hurl," so the entire province of Kia Lambourghini can be saved!" 

Rosie - "I happen to have the perfect thing to make him throw up, Gary!"

Gary - "What?!"

Rosie - "I said, I HAVE THE PERFECT THING TO MAKE HIM PUKE!!

Gary - "How you gonna get it way up here and put it in his mouth?!"

Rosie - "This ain't goin' in his mouth, it's goin' in his EAR!"

At that, Rosie whips out her trusty little music player, and begins to play this song that she obtained from deleted Earth files...

In a nano second, the big, bad worm upchucks the inhabitants of Kia Lanbourghini, the worm quickly wiggles away, and our super heroes are mobbed by the thankful Kia Lambourghinites!!

At this monumental conclusion to a magnificent story, we segue back to our beloved Gounderus...

However, he is not in that fancy dressing room of the lavish floating theatre, where we saw him earlier.  He is sleeping on the couch in his humble home, on his home planet of Ocixem Wen. He is waking up...

Gounderus - "Where...wha...what happened to my wealth, fame, trillions of fans...?

"Oh, my! It was all just a dream...but I think I got the message! Big Gaz told me, "Those who lose dreaming are lost"...sooo, if I keep on dreaming about success, I will never lose my direction, my motivation, my, uh, let's see...enthusiasm for life..."

All of a sudden, we zoom in on Gounderus again, asleep in his magnificent dressing room...

Stage manager - (Knocking on the door) "Gounderus...5 minutes 'till showtime!"

Gounderus - (Wakes up from a short power nap) "Uh...okay...be right out! Whee doggies! I must have been dreaming, all along! Ha Ha! Maybe I'll relate my weird dream to the audience! What a larf!! Tee hee, hee hoo..."

In a flash, the scene changes to Gary, sleeping on the poop deck of the Silver Sausage. He awakens with a start!!

Gary - "Rosie, I had the most unusual dream! It was about Gounderus getting a message about dreams, you and me defeating a giant worm who had swallowed a whole province of folks, you making the worm throw up..."

Rosie - "You best stop eating those greasy White Castle hamburgers before you go to bed, buddy!"

Gary - "I guess you're right, Rosie, but it all seemed so real! 

Donna - "Honey, wake up! Are you having a bad dream?!"

Me - "Huh? Wha? No, babe, I just had a very wild and crazy dream, about Rosie and Gary making a worm of gigantic proportions regurgitate a bunch of folks, Gounderus becoming famous, and then NOT famous, but Big Gaz is telling him not to stop dreaming, because that's not cool, and floating theatres that..."

Donna - "Hey, why not put all of that wacky dream in your next Out Of This World Wednesday?"

Me - "Naaah, it would just put everybody to sleep."