The Legend Of The Mountain

Many, many moons ago, ancient warriors told 

THE LEGEND OF THE MOUNTAIN!

It's imperative , that you click on this music while you read this!

Music clicked on? Okay!

The mountain was located in south central China, and the local inhabitants were fearful of this massive peak, due to the fact that a giant dragon dwelt at the top, sink holes would swallow up would-be mountain climbers, fiery lava flowed from hidden crevices, screeching monkeys would swing down on vines, unexpectedly, to get in folks faces, giant cockroaches blocked the trails, looking all ugly and nasty....and a lot more horrible stuff we don't have time to get in to! They called the mountain...

Mount Kawayotahondamitsubishi.

Every summer a young warrior was sent up the side of  Mount Kawayotahondamitsubishi to attempt to slay the dragon, which, in turn, would fix the sink holes, stop the lava flow, muzzle the screeching monkeys, cold-cock the cockroaches, and end all the other horrible stuff on the mountain .... but for 1000 years not one warrior survived the terrible Mount Kawayotahondamitsubishi!!

Then, one special day, a small, unassuming boy volunteered to brave all the death dealing dilemmas that dotted the dangerous Mt. Kawayotahondamitsubishi!!

His name was So-Hi! Which means, child who conquers all the bad stuff on Mt.Kawayotahondamitsubishi!!

It was a dark, stormy morn' when So-Hi trekked the long, arduous 500 feet, to the base of Mt. Kawayotahondamitsubishi!!

So-Hi spoke to the mountain in a loud voice (people talked to mountains in ancient times) ..."Mt. Katoyotahondasubishimit! Listen to me!! We need to talk!!"

Mt. Kawayotahondamitsubishi - "Say what?"

So-Hi - "I said, Mt. Kahondamitsuotabishi, listen to..."

 Mt. Kawayotahondamitsubishi - "Way, way, WAIT!! You come here to talk to me and cannot even pronounce my name? What a major no-no!! How's about me sending my ginormous dragon down here to eat your face, So-Hi!! Hmmm?"

So-Hi - "Aha! I know your tricks, you tricky mountain! As soon as I pronounce your name correctly, I will become your slave and will NEVER be able to conquer you!!"

Mt. Kawayotahondamitsubishi - "Conquer who?"

So-Hi - "You! Mt. Kawayotahondamitsubishi!!"

Mt. Kawayotahondamitsubishi - "Gotcha!!"

The moral of this story is, even if your name 

means "child who conquers all the bad stuff on Mt.Kawayotahondamitsubishi," doesn't guarantee you can actually do it!

Another thing we learn from this story is don't talk to mountains! You'll never win!

In addition, you may not always have a happy ending, but you will ALWAYS learn something from the experience, like. never trust a mountain, or don't volunteer for a job you clearly cannot do!

The End!

OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAYThe Voyage Begins

Silver Sausage Spazeship

Imploding planet

Great Jewel Of Neprotonicus 11

It seems like a billion zep-years since we last spied in on Gary and Rosie, our two intrepid Glirkazoid super-E.Ts, who have just started the countdown to zoom the shining Silver Sausage spazeship to Neprotonicus 11, before it implodes at any given moment, and get the Great Jewel Of Neprotonicus 11 off that doomed planet before it's too late!! 

Rosie

Gary

Rosie - "10...9...8..."

Gary - "Wait! Rosie, did you bring my eyeball warmers on board? You know it get's VERY cold on Neprotonicus 11, and my protruding eyeballs tend to chafe in the harsh winds."

Rosie - " Gary! Seriously!! You stop our countdown to ask about "EYEBALL WARMERS?!!" The billions of inhabitants of Neprotonicus 11, who are, as we speak, zooming over to Neprotonicus 12, will not survive if we don't bring the Great Jewel Of Neprotonicus 11 to Neprotonicus 12, so they can have power for air, lighting their homes, warmth, and microwaving their pizzas!!"

Gary - "Sorry. Go ahead and start the countdown again."

Rosie - "Very well. 10...9...8...7..."

Gary - "But, DID you bring the eyeball warmers? It's difficult for me to..."

Rosie - "YES!! YES!!!! I brought the eyeball warmers, you big nag!!! I don't know how you see in those things, anyway!!!"

Gary - "I cut holes in them, where my eyes are!"

Rosie - "But, but...if you cut holes in them where your eyes are,  how do your eyes stay w...NEVER MIND! Your mind in indecipherable!"

Gary - "Why, thank you, Rosie! Go on ahead and restart the countdown."

Rosie - "No. You do it, Gary! I'm tired."

Gary - "Don't mind if I do! 1o...9...8..."

Rosie - "BLAH, BLAH, BLA, BLAH BLAH!!!"

Gary - "Now that's being childish, Rosie!"

Rosie - "I know! But it's SO MUCH FUN!!!"

To make a long story even longer and more boring, Rosie and Gary FINALLY complete the countdown, after a good two and a half parsecs, and the rusty trusty old Silver Sausage spazeship whooshes off to the doomed planet of Neprotonicus 11!

Rosie - "You know what's funny, Gary?"

Gary - "A Rhinillian Gombat in a tutu?"

Rosie - "No, well, yes, that would be hilarious. But, I was thinking how we've been traveling for almost a whole dulu, and we've NOT been attacked by any spaze monsters."

Gary - "Haven't you EVER watched ANY movies at all, Rosie?! You NEVER say anything like that! 
It's like in the ancient Earth movies about wagon trains. The city slickers, are sittin' 'round the campfire with the grizzled old wagon master, and one of them exclaims to the wagon master..."wagon master, we've been on the trail for 3 weeks now and haven't seen one hostile Injun! In fact, it's been peaceful and quiet the whole journey!"

Then the wagon master retorts (first, he spits some tobacco), "It's quiet alright...A LITTLE TOO QUIET!!

At  that, the Injuns attack with flaming arrows, catching the canvas of the wagons on fire, and circling the wagon train so they can be easily shot!

Rosie - "You're a total knucklehead, Gary! Just because I said we haven't been attacked, does not mean that the a spaze monster will..."

At that,  a terrifying spaze monster swoops in and swallows the Silver Sausage in one big gulp!!!

What? Are Gary and Rosie doomed to be digested? Is there ANY way to escape the belly of this hideous beast? 

Join us next Wednesday for OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY, and also read my blog on all the other days as well, on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday! Saturday and Sunday we shut down for a little R&R! (reruns and Raisinets (just kidding about the Raisinets, they are off my diabetic diet, I just mentioned them because that's one thing I ate when I went to the movies as a kid)

Pizza Pan Hibiscus And Other Stuff

Hey, guys AND gals! I'm sorry I missed serving you yesterdays blog. Sometimes life happens and time flutters away like a butterfly from a butterfly net, during butterfly collection season! If there IS a butterfly collection season.

Our pizza pan hibiscuses...or is that hibiski, are really doing swell! Swell is a word you don't hear much anymore, but I've always liked it! 

Remember how winter was so awfully miserable and it seems like it would never end? Well, I think that's a fading memory now, with all of the hot heat we're having here in the middle vest! Hot heat?

Man wearing middle vest in the middle west

There is some kind of animule making holes... tunnel entrance holes, I mean, burrowing in our yard, and I have a quandary going on in my brain. I love little furry animules, which I imagine this probably is, but I don't want him, or her, to be burrowing holes in the yard, and maybe even getting into the house, somehow, and ending up in our bed with us!

I'll just let it go for now, and maybe one of the local hawks will take care of the situation, because I haven't got the heart to harm a little furry creature that God made for some inexplicable reason. 

Have to make this blog posting short and sweet, because that's what I am. Well, I'm short!

Have a super day and don't let the bedbugs prey! 

John Lennon Lives? My Theory

There's a guy I discovered on YouTube named Bob Clements. I suspect that is not his real name, because he sounds so much like, and WRITES MUSIC so much like, John Lennon, it's scary!

My theory is that John Lennon faked his death, moved to Scotland, and started writing new songs under the pseudonym, Bob Clements. Kind of the opposite thing of Samuel Clemens who wrote under the name of Mark Twain, but it's exactly the same difference. Figure it out on your own time, I'm kinda busy right now.

Don't believe me? Listen to this...

Told ya!

Wasn't that AMAZING?! 

His YouTube channel is Woods, most likely derived from his song, Norwegian Wood, that he wrote when he was John Lennon, in my expert opinion. 

I'm not putting this on my blog to bring him more attention, I really don't think he wants a lot of attention, but I'm sharing this with you, my beloved blog readers, to let you in on this little secret that John still lives!

Here is another sample of his incredible stuff...

"Bob" plays all the instruments, does the recordings, and sings on all his songs! Of course, that's something John Lennon would be able to do as well. (wink, wink)

He never shows his face very clearly in his videos. Hmm, I wonder why that would be? (chortle, chortle)

The only thing that makes me question if he is really John Lennon, is that "Bob" is so nice. John was known to be a bit acid-tongued, brutally honest, and unpleasant. 

However, I believe that after he faked his death, got away from Yoko, and the paparazzi, he mellowed out a lot! 

Anyway, he is very cool, now, and a most pleasant individual!

If you want to hear John's Bob's new songs, check him out, but don't tell anyone about him! Here is the link...

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxIiNx5wsiOj9uOZDx2iAfw

A Thursday Poem

by Danny B. Maness

It's Thursday, it's Thursday,

The animals call it Fursday,

Which makes a lot of sense to me,

And also to a clinging flea.

It's just one day 'till Friday,

A day held in esteem,

But Thursday's really MY day,

It's like come true a dream.

Good things hap on Thursday,

If hap is still a word,

The 14th century used it,

At least that's what I've heard.

What hap here, kind sir? Did you hap to find my purse? 

I love to sing on Thursday,

My vocal chords relax,

I sing acapella,

 I no longer play my axe.

Thurday's raise my spirits,

I don't need to drink no beer,

Is that a double negative,

No.