Out Of This World Wednesday

Time Tunnel Tribulation!

As our great Glirkazoid "gang of two" enter the time tunnel, to traverse the time/space continuum. and travel to the year 2020 to correct a plague-like disease, racial unrest, governmental impotence, and too many disasters to list in this short blog posting, we experience the, uh...experience of traveling through time!

Gary - "I feel tingly all over, Rosie!"

Rosie - "I don't. We are not supposed to feel tingly until exiting from the time portal!"

Gary - "Time PORTAL? I thought this was a time TUNNEL!"

Rosie - "Just a matter of semantics, Gary, but you should not feel tingly yet!"

Def: Have you ever heard someone say, "That's just semantics?" Basically, they're saying you're picking apart the meaning of a word to draw a different conclusion but it all means the same thing. ... Semantics is the study of the relationship between words and how we draw meaning from those words.

Gary - "I wonder if the tingly feeling is from the 6 bottles of Purple Glirf I drank a few minutes ago, with just a touch of Backactus Juice in each bottle?"

Rosie -"Surely it is, you dumb bunny!"

Gary - "I'm not a dumb bunny, and don't call me Shirley!"

At that precise moment our diminutive duo (Glarkazoids are only 6 inches tall...max) begin to experience their molecules separating, bouncing around the "time tube" (another way of describing the time portal...first uttered by the co-inventor of the time tunnel...Gleek Yaglipsor), and seeing all the past moments of time pass before them, like a documentary on steroids!

Rosie - "Look, Gary! Glirkazoid history is passing before us at a high rate of speed! Here is where the Glirkazoids were enslaved by the evil Kriswalkinians!"

Image of evil Kriswalkinian leader, Wilbur Turnblad!

Gary -"Yeah! And we never received reparations from them!"

Rosie - "How could we receive reparations, after we rebelled, escaped from our chains, and emulsificated their whole Kriswalkian population?"

Example of emulsification above↑ 

Gary - "Excellent point, Rosie! Looky dare! The point in history where Glirkazoid founders located the planet, Glirka, and made it our home! Who are all those inhabitants greeting our Glirkazoid ancestors? We were taught that Glirka was uninhabited at it's discovery. What happened to the native folks of Glirka?"

Rosie - "Uh, well, I think we don't want to know, buddy."

Gary - "I want to know!! Why don't our history files teach this? I'm going to take this up with the Supreme Council when..."

Instantly, Rosie and Gary begin to float in a swirling mix of colors, their sparkling molecules start to reform, and they get an overpowering, tingling feeling as they come to the end of the "time highway!"

Oh, what will befall our Glirkazoid pals as they experience the trials and tribulations of Earth in 2020?

Will they conquer the pestilence, pain, suffering, hatred, bigotry, virtue signaling, fat shaming, phone addiction, nastiness, and texting while driving, so prevalent in 2020 on Earth?

Join us in the next episode of OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY, to satisfy your burning curiosity!!!!!

This And That...What's Wrong With Zat?

I saw a commercial that showed a girls graduate cap with this saying, "I am my ancestors wildest dreams!"

That is so true. and PROFOUND! What we are experiencing in this 21st century could not have even been imagined way back when! 

To change the subject, completely, my wife discovered who's been eating her petunias. A rabbit!! 

As she was coming back from the store, she saw the culprit on his/her hind legs chewing on the petunias in the petunia pot, as if at a salad bar!!!

She was not super upset, because she likes bunnies even more than petunias. However, we put the petunia pot on a little stool, where the bunny can't reach...we hope. 

People are getting hot and bothered about so many things that won't even matter to them when they're dead. I don't get it. I remember what the Moody Blues had to say many moons ago...

I think, I think I am, therefore I am, I think.
[Establishment:] Of course you are my bright little star,
I've miles
And miles
Of files
Pretty files of your forefather's fruit
And now to suit our
Great computer,
You're magnetic ink.

I'm more than that, I know I am, at least, I think I must be.
[Inner Man:] There you go man, keep as cool as you can.
Face piles
And piles
Of trials
With smiles.
It riles them to believe
That you perceive
The web they weave
And keep on thinking free.

I did not know wasps love water so much. When I'm out watering the tomater plants, they swarm all around to get a sip of water! It has been very hot and rainless, lately, but can't they fly to the river, only a few blocks away? 

I'm happy they haven't stung me yet, but I'm afraid that day is coming, because it's like one of those cartoons where bees are swarming a terrified little man, when I'm out there!

I redid the towel bar in the bathroom (where else would it be), and measured the length and stuff, and AMAZINGLY, it fit exactly on the hanging clips, with NO adjustments needed! 

WHAT? That NEVER happens!!! At least, not to me!!! 

What a great day, it was!!! 

Are You Experienced?

I need to do a quick blob today, because I have to go get my "labs" done this morning.

I don't mind having them stick me with that needle when the "sticker" is experienced. However, if it's a newbie sticking me, he/she ALWAYS has trouble!

They can't find the vein and say I have rollie-polie veins, when I know I don't, because when he/she finally gives up and calls in the veteran sticker, the vet has no problem whatsoever! 

So, I hope I get a person who is experienced, like Jimi Hendrix.

All for today. I apologize for my brief blob!

Danny Bruce Maness

Making Good Use Of Stimulus Cash!

Yeah, I know. I haven't done a blog posting for many moons, but I HAVE been putting that "stimulus" money to spruce up da houze! 

Paint, brushes, plants, dirt, mulch, towel bars, flower pots, and a lot of stuff I can't recall were all purchased with the cash from our, benevolent, President Trump! 

I just included the Trump thing to tick off my friends who loath Trump. Ha ha!

I really don't know where the money came from, but I don't ask questions when receiving free cash!

So, anyway, we've been planting flowers and tamaters, painting our deck and benches, putting up towel racks, and more things that are just a blur inside this ancient, worn out brain of mine. 

 Therefore, since I write my blog in the morning and do my yard work/painting/remodeling type stuff in the morning, my blog has been suffering, although a lot of you know my blog has suffered for a long time, right?

Just wanted you all to know I ain't dead yet, just trying to fix up the house while the weather is nice, and spend President Trumps money he gave me so generously. Whoops, I did it again.

Out Of This World Wednesday

Preparing To Travel Through Time Portal!

Gary - "Chihuahua, Rosie! I cannot believe the Supreme Command has ordered us to travel back in time to Earth, to fix all of the problems in the year 2020!"

Rosie - "Talk about an impossible mission!"

Gary - "I just DID talk about an impossible mission, Rosie! Weren't you listening?"

Rosie - "I was just...never mind."

Gary - "We are STILL suffering from the effects of earth year 2020 throughout the universe! Social distancing has never REALLY gone away, so the population of the universe is WAY down, the beings that go poo poo are still hoarding TP, and a lot of restaurants have never reopened since then! It's been 20, 000 years, for goodness sake!"

Rosie - "You know what that means, Gary?"

Gary - "Yes! We break our Glirkazoidian oath, and give up before we start! We will tell the Supreme Command that we're honoring the ages old "shelter in place" order!"

Rosie - "Don't be a silly gloose, Gary! (A gloose is like a goose on planet Glirka) You know the super hard stuff we always do, and the impossible just takes us a little longer!"

Glirkazoid Gloose (goosikis-beaglium)

Gary - "Very well, Rosie...but if I get eaten or killed in any way, I'll be very angry with you!!"

Rosie - "Cool beans! We need to gather up all the stuff we'll need to take with us in the "time portal", so we can survive the rigors of 2020 on earth."

Gary - "Okay, what do you suggest, Survival Queen?"

Rosie - "Comfortable sneakers would be first on the list, because this was a time before "beaming" everywhere, like we do on Glirka."

Gary - "Air Jordans. Check ✔"

Rosie - "We will also need face masks, due to the coronavirus pandemic, but they should be stylish!"

Gary - "Masks by Ralph Lauren. Check ✔"

Rosie - "In addition, we will have to have cash, to purchase the common food on earth at that time, like McDonalds and Dairy Queen."

Gary " Master and Visa cards. Check ✔ And we can't forget the MOST IMPORTANT item, that ALL earthlings had in 2020!! Smart phones!!"

Rosie - "Good thinking, Gary! We would really stand out as aliens to them, even in our disguises, if we didn't have smart phones!"

As our Glirkazoid globetrotters gather up the necessary items for their passage through the time portal, to the scariest planet in the Milky Way Galaxy, we wonder what methods they will use to change the terrifying events that occurred back in the fateful year of 2020."

Join us next week to find out...or NOT find out, in the next amazing episode of...

What's The Fun In A Feeble, Feckless Font?

With so many impotent issues permeating the whole spectrum of our social mores and tribal influences, we, on this day, shall discuss my new, fun font.

Font - def.
A design for a set of characters. A font is the combination of typeface and other qualities, such as size, pitch, and spacing. For example, Times Roman is a typeface that defines the shape of each character. Within Times Roman, however, there are many fonts to choose from -- different sizes, italic, bold, and so on.

I was so tired of using boring fonts, like...this one. No character or personality, and ESPECIALLY not fun!

Now, compare that mundane old font with this new one. Much better and cuter, right?

I think so, as well! 

I could use this font if I had boring, lifeless readers, but you guys and gals are interesting and full of frenetic fun!! 

Woo hoo!!!

"Danny boy! Why are you discussing a stupid font with so much BAD STUFF hapnin' in the world?" (Proclaimed by a negative Nellie)

Why? It's because of all the BAD STUFF hapnin' in the world!

If you don't get it, you'll need to read a blog with...this font,or this one, or this...but I know you GET IT...TOTALLY!!

That's why I love you!! 

Astronaut Bob Behnken And Me 
Are Almost Old Buddies!

I was totally shocked, surprised and a little bemused, to discover, from my niece, Julie, that astronaut Bob Behnken is from my home town, St. Ann Missouri, and went to Pattonville High School, where I matriculated!! 

Niece Julie

Three clarifications, for you super observant readers:

1. I know you can only matriculate in college, but I love the word.

2. Whenever I did matriculate at Pattonville High School, the janitor mopped it up.

3. I went to the OLD Pattonville and Bobby (that's what I call him) went to the NEW Pattonville.

Old Pattonville

New Pattonville

From way back in the earliest days of  traveling around the globe in what's called an orbit, with monkeys in cute little space suits, I have admired and respected astronauts!

I was there when John Glenn and Alan Shepard did their phenomenal feats of flight, when I watched them on TV at St. Ann Grade School!

Did Bob Behnken attend St. Ann Grade School? Ancient astronaut theorists say YES, but I don't know for sure. 

Satellite view of St. Ann, Mo.

Even though I graduated from Pattonville in 1968 amd Bobby graduated in 1988, I still feel a deep, abiding kinship with him due to our remarkably similar roots. 

It makes me imagine him and me eating White Castle hamburgers together, going to Skylark Bowling Alley together, going to the Airway Drive In Movie Theater in my old English Ford, where it was only a dollar a carload, together, and sharing our ideas about space engineering, rocket science, and cosmic background radiation. 

Cosmic background radiation

Right at this very moment, Bobby is up on that space station, doing space experiments, and probably thinking back to his happy childhood of  hot summer days in St. Ann, going to Northwest Plaza, rooting on the Pattonville Pirates sports teams, and paling around with his old buddies, which would have included me if I had been born twenty years later!!

Green and white, fight fight fight!!

Way to go, Bobby! I'm so happy you applied all the teachings I NEVER taught you!!!