OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY
Episode Four

(Please click on the little videos I've included in the blog, for the ultimate experience!)

I ain't gonna rehash all that crap from the previous three episodes, brothers and sisters! I ain't got the time or the money! If ya can't keep up, go back and read them on your own! I'm tired of mollycoddling you slackers!

I better go take my meds now. Be back in 10 minutes...

Click on this and wait the full 10 minutes.

Just funnin' wit ya!

Oh, I feel so much better now, like Marilyn Monroe in that Snickers commercial!

Anyway, Rosie and Gary have survived a rough landing on the planet of Sophomore, and are now in route to the City Of Platinum, to find the Golden Chicken Of Kluck, that was abducted from their planet of Glirka 222,000 spaze years ago, on a Tuesday, at about 3:23 pm. 

Are they walking there? Heck no! They brung with them an unusual mode of transportation that you ain't never seed before, that was invented by Theo Jansen, billions of years before! Click on video below! 

Don't miss this clip! It's cool!

Gary - "What if when we find the Golden Chicken of Kluck, that lays the platinum eggs, we just keep it for ourselves, and run off to a distant galaxy, dimension, or even another time, and be filthy rich forever and ever?"

Rosie - "Gary! I'm shocked and ashamed of you! Our sacred duty is to bring that precious chicken back to our planet, where it rightfully belongs! It would be treason of the highest degree, and we would go down in Glirkazoid history as being lower than worms bellies!"

"Besides, the Supreme Glirkheads would track us down like dogs, bring us back to Glirka, and torture us with the excruciatingly painful tickle torture, until we evaporate!"

Gary - "Gotcha, Rosie! You thought I was bein' serious, didn't ya? Ha ha ha! Absconding with a national treasure is the furthest thing from my mom...me mum...I MEAN...my MIND!"

Gary's mommy

Rosie - "Riiiight! Every tom you feel guilty, your mom invades your guilty mind, Gary!"

Gary - "That is so NOT true, mommy...uh, mummy...ROSIE...I meant to say, ROSIE!!"

Rosie - "Riiiight! Let's forget about that for now and concentrate on the job at hand. Are we going in the right direction, skeezix?"

Gary - "Of course, Rosie! I'm using our trusty, dusty U. P. S.! (Universal Positioning System) Now listen closely...

U.P.S. Universal Positioning System

U.P.S. - (Speaking in a sexy sounding voice) "Turn right in 500 pecters, at the erupting volcano."

Rosie - "I don't see an erupting volcano!"

At that, they see, way off in the distance, a volcano starting to erupt violently!

Rosie - "Chihuahua, that's a good U.P. S.!"

Gary - "Are you crazy? I'm not goin' anyway near that erupting volcano! Let's just use the ancient Glirkazoid art of "guess reckoning" and find our way to the City Of Platinum using our natural, built in, positioning system."

Rosie - "What the heck are you talking about, knucklehead? I've NEVER heard of "guess reckoning" my whole life!"

Gary - "Stand back, whilst I chant the ancient, secret words, and do the sacred "dance of direction!"

Gary begins to slowly dance in a circle, and then move faster and faster, as he chants the secret, powerful words!

Gary - "Mareseatoats and doeseatoats and littlelambseativy...a kidilleativy 2 wooden u?"

Rosie - "You're scaring me, Gary!"

Gary - "Don't interrupt, Rosie, I'm not done!

"Jai guru deva, Om, ting, tang, walla walla, bing bang...In rain or wind or heat or snow...which direction should we go?!"

Rosie - "Now what's supposed to happen, Gary?"

Gary - "We will receive a sign from heaven, pointing the way! Just wait!"

   Listen to this delightful music while we wait.

Rosie - "Um, nothings hapnin', Tonto! What do we do now?"

Gary - "I'm stumped, Rosie!"

Rosie - "How's about we walk in the direction of that platinum-hued glow in the east, hmmm?"

Gary - "Not a bad idear, Rosie! I knew you were good for SOMETHING!"

Rosie - "Thanks a load, General!"

Gary - "Rosie..You know I'm not a General...I'm an Admiral!"

Rosie - "To the contrary, you are definitely a General...a general nuisance!!"

Oh, hey! Our troopers are on their way, chanting, "Follow the platinum glow, follow the platinum glow, oh, my, follow the platinum glow, oh, my...

Remember to not forget, even if you have to write a note to yourself, and hang it on the Frigidaire, to come back next weed for Episode Five of...wait for it...wait for it...OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY!

OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY
Episode Three

Before we begin, brothers and sisters, I don't like begging, but I NEED more comments on my blog, to survive!!!

I know a lot of you are reading my blog every week, but if I don't receive more comments, I'll be banned from Blogger...FOREVER!! (not really)

That's the way it works! They don't want mediocre bloggers associated with their Blogger name, and they will delete my whole dang blog, that I've slaved over for a number of years, unless I get a significant number of comments! (not true)

Thank you, in advance, for your fantastic comments!!

As you may, or may not recall, Rosie and Gary are on their way to the planet of Sophomore, to retrieve the precious Golden Chicken Of Kluck, that was abducted from the Glirkazoids 222,000 spazeyears ago by the Sophomorusians!

The Golden Chicken Of Kluck is a chicken made of gold, that comes to life on just one day of the year, and lays platinum eggs, without stopping, for 24 parsecians! No yoke!!

Gary - "Rosie, as you know, we will need to enter another dimension to get to Sophomore, so prepare yourself!"

Rosie - "I know...I know. I so abhor inter-dimensional travel! It makes me sick, throws off my equilibrium, and messes up my hair!"

Gary - "What hair, Rosie? You don't have any hair! Ha ha ha!"

Rosie - "I do so, skeezix! ( skeezix is slang for total loser)It's just fine, like frog's hair!"

Gary is not paying attention to Rosie anymore, because he is making preparation for the delicate, complicated shift to inter-dimensional travel, where even the tiniest error can prove fatal to the highest degree!

Gary - "Set the IDTMSC, Rosie!"

Rosie - "The what?!"

Gary - "The IDTMSC! Inter Dimensional Travel Manipulator Spaze Contraption! 

Rosie - " Why didn't you say so in the first place, knucklehead?"

Gary - "That's CAPTAIN Knucklehead to you, Rosie! Now start the vortex, spinning wheely thingy that sucks us into the other dimension!"

Rosie - "Aye aye, Captain Knucklehead!"

The Silver Sausage begins to shake convulsively, and weird music begins playing, that sounds like this...

                               Weird music!

Gary - "Hold on to your tussie, Rosie! Here we go!!"

Rosie - "Hold on to my what?"

At that instant, our intrepid heroes are, unceremoniously, sucked into the whirling, swirling vortex, that will propel them into a whole nuther dimension!

In just a nano second, our super-duper heroes are flung into another dimension, where things are, shall we say...DIFFERENT.

Rosie - "Weerd, Gary, feel am I, me thniks,trhoing up gonna me.

Gary - "Dimenzion new, getting used to have soon.

Rosie stumbles around for a bit, due to a temporary loss of equilibrium, and then, unceremoniously, pukes. (Tell me if I already used the word, unceremoniously, I don't have tom to look back)

Rosie - "Oh, dear, is my hair messed up , Gary?"

Gary - "It's fine as frog's hair, split four ways, darlin'."

As our "tremendous two" begin the descent to the surreal looking planet of Sophomore, they speculate on what obstacles they may encounter during this exciting adventure to take back the Golden Chicken Of Kluck.

Rosie - "Gary...of course you know that the inhabitants of Sophomore are some of the most blood thirsty warriors in this dimension, and will fight to the death to keep the priceless Golden Chicken Of Kluck, don't you?"

Gary - "Say, WHAT?  I did not know that! Maybe we should abort the mission and not even land on...

At that, the Silver Sausage makes an unceremonious landing on the surface of Sophomore! (Deja Vu all over again)

Not an actual picture of the Silver Sausage

Spazeballs! 

Will Rosie and Gary be able to bring back the fantastic Golden Chicken Of Kluck?

Are there any tow trucks on Sophomore to pull the Silver Sausage out of the ground?

Join us next week for the cosmic, far out, OUT OF THIS WORLD adventures of Rosie and Gary!

Please, don't forget to comment about this blog, for the sake of humanity and aliens alike!!! 

OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY

Episode Two

Golden Chicken of Kluck

I hope you all read episode one, because I do not have the time or money to review EVERYTHING from that episode! However, here is a brief excerpt to keep you in the time continuum...

"Our mission, if we decide to accept it, is to travel to the farthest reaches of Wilbur, and bring back the Golden Chicken of Kluck, which the Sophomorusians swiped from the Glirkazoid Museum Of Chicken Shaped Artifacts, 222,000 spazeyears ago!"

If none of this makes sense to you, just go back to episode one! It probably won't help, but at least I'll get more views on my blog! And isn't that what it's all about?

As Rosie and Gary make their way across Wilbur (AKA the Grand Universe) they see an image of Garry Shandling, floating gently through the starry vastness. (Just a brief tribute to the dude)

Rosie - "So let me get this straight. We are traveling clear across Wilbur, to the planet of Sophomore, to retrieve a chicken?"

Sophomore

Gary - "This is not merely a chicken, my little chickadee! The Golden Chicken of Kluck is the most valuable artifact ever ensconced in the Museum of Chicken Shaped Artifacts in the whole dang history of our planet!"

Not the actual Museum of Chicken Shaped Artifacts

Rosie - "What's the big deal? Who cares if it's worth a few bucks? Get it, Gary? A few BUCKS!!"

Gary - "You're not taking this seriously, my foolish friend! This mission is greater than you think!"

Rosie - "Well, this mission doesn't sound very EGG-citing, if you ask me!"

Gary - "Stop with the yokes...I mean JOKES...now you've got me doing it!!"

Rosie - "Oh, don't get your feathers ruffled, Foghorn Leghorn!"

Gary - "Cut it out, Rosie, and let me explain the real significance of the Golden Chicken of Kluck, woudja?"

Rosie - "Okay, okay! Go ahead and beak...I mean, speak."

Gary - "Anyway...when our planet of Glirka had possession of the Golden Chicken, every year, at the first new moon after the spring equinox, about 3:37 in the afternoon, the Golden Chicken of Kluck would come to life...














Rosie - "And lay golden eggs, right! Am I right? It laid golden eggs, didn't it?!

Gary - "Wrongo! You jumper to conclusioner! Now let ME tell the story!"

Rosie - "Gourd head...I mean go ahead, spazeboy!"

Gary - "The Golden Chicken of Kluck would come to life, and, and (building suspense), and...lay PLATINUM eggs!!!"

Rosie - "Oh, good grief, Gary! Whats the difference between gold and platinum?"

Gary - "About 300 bucks, but that's not the point! For 24 parsecians (24 earth hours) the Golden Chicken of Kluck would lay platinum eggs continuously, without stopping! This, of course, would finance the whole planet of Glirka for the entire year!"

Rosie - "Wow, Gary! So, now the Sophomorusians are getting all the platinum eggs! Those dirty poachers! Ha ha! Get it? Eggs...poached...poachers!

Gary - "I can see you're still not taking this seriously, Rosie."

Rosie - "Sure I am, BUCK Rogers, I'm willing to brave this mission! I ain't CHICKEN!!!" 

Gary - "Oh, good grief!!"

We hope you're not too chicken to join us next week for the amazing adventures of Rosie and Gary, in...

OUT

OF

THIS 

WORLD

WEDNESDAY...WEDNESDAY...

WEDNESDAY...WEDNESDAY...