BLACK HOLE FIASCO

First Real Image Of A Black Hole!

Another time I'm asking you to play a song, whilst reading me blog.

You probably think I'm a control freak, but when I ask you to read my blog whilst listening to "Black Hole Sun," I'm only attempting to enhance your bloggee experience! You see, I'm the blogGER, and you're the blogGEE, and Danny knows best.

With millions of folks going hungry, going homeless, going broke, going insane, going on drugs, dying from curable diseases, because they can't afford medicine or treatment , suffering from child trafficking..."THEY" spend tens of millions of dollars to photograph a "BLACK HOLE? REALLY?

Money that could have been spent on stopping all of the horrendous atrocities mentioned above, on finding cures, or at least bringing medical aid to the sick innocents around the world, or to feed starving people everywhere, is spent on taking a picture of a dying sun? REALLY?

You want black holes? I'll show you black holes... in my garage roof! Why couldn't they send me just a tiny fraction of the "black hole project" money, so I could fix my cockadoodie garage roof! 

It leaks like an old guy on a long road trip! Thank goodness for A.Ds (adult diapers)

However, I cannot put adult diapers on my garage roof, can I? Hey, wait a minute...that might work! If I bought enough A.Ds for fixing...

Sorry, I got lost in my own selfish garage roof crisis, and need to get back to the "black hole" fiasco. 

Not that it was a REAL fiasco, which would mean the project failed, but a financial fiasco...a total waste of pazoozas!

Ask yourself, "what good did this photo of a black hole do for me?"

Then ask yourself, "what good would an extra 1.5 million dollars in my pocket do for me?"

I am guesstimating that if they split up all the moolah they shelled out for the "black hole project" amongst us needy folk, it would total 1.5 million smackers a piece! 

Now, are you starting to appreciate my..uh...I forgot what I was talking about.

Well, have a nice day, folks!! 

There's A Fungus Amung Us!

Candida is the worldwide fungus that is currently circumnavigating the globe, causing things like a white tongue, athlete's foot, constipation, bloating, irritable bowel syndrome, diarrhea and flatulence after eating.

We are not going to be discussing (did you know this was a discussion) the symptoms, the Tony Orlando song, the statistics or mortality rates, or none of that boring stuff!

What we REALLY need to consider is where it came from! 

Put on your thinking caps, because I'm gonna ask you your opinion on where this devilish, freaky fungus originated.

Some scientists (but who believes them anymore) claim "Candida" is millions of years old, and recently popped up again, due to "climate change." 

Of course, EVERY BAD THING is due to "climate change" anymore, right? 

However, what a great excuse for when we screw up, huh? 

Let's say you run out of gas, with (gulp) your spouse in the car. 

"Baby, it was climate change! The varied weather situations, with barometric pressure and bomb cyclone interference, messed with the gas gauge default mechanism!"

Back to the fearful fungus. 

Many "experts" say the Candida fungus was created by evil scientists from China, or Russia, or North Korea, but that does not explain why the frightening fungus is not ABSENT from China, Russia, and North Korea. They wouldn't fungus themselves, would they? Maybe they would,  just to take suspicion off themselves. Hmmm?

The "worldwide web" could be the catalyst for stimulating the little fungus cells to grow at an increased rate, from the electronic impulses attacking them every time someone tweets, clicks, emails, retweets, YouTubes, Facebooks, and the trillions of other internet stuff. 

My personal belief is SPACE ALIENS have either placed all the fungus things all over the world, or they ARE the little fungus things!! 

Now, here comes the discussion part.

1. Was it "climate change?"

2. China? Russia? North Korea? South Bend, Indiana?

3. The "worldwide web?"

4. Space aliens? 

5. Other?

Bloggadocious 222...Better Late Than Never!

Once again I'm late with my blog. That's not like me. I know you guys expect my blog to be posted much earlier, so I must be throwing you all out of your routine! So sorry.

Unsuspecting Bloggadocious 222 reader: "Well, I'm done with my morning chores, so now I'm going to maintain my regular routine and read Danny's hilarious blog. 

What the...! No blog? Wha happen? What am I gonna do now?! I ALWAYS read Bloggadocious 222 at this specific time and my whole day has been sent off course due to this disturbance in the matrix, or the "force" or SOMETHING!!!"

Another unsuspecting Bloggadocious 222 reader at work: "Whowee! I never thought my break would get here! As I'm accustomed, I'll whip out my "smartphone" and read the funniest blog in the universe...Bloggadocious 222. 

Click..click..click, click, click...NOOOOO!! When I click on Danny's blog, it only shows yesterday's blog! I HAVE to read that cockadoodie blog or I cannot go back to work! I must go home, but Bloggadocious 222 ain't at home! I'm disoriented and confused without the guidance from that blog! Oh, woe is me!!"

I have to be transparent with you folks. Since it was another glorious, gorgeous day, I got deeply involved with cleaning the patio, and washing the Toyota, which led to a total glitch in the time warp.

All of a sudden it was 1959, my dysfunctional childhood in St. Louis, I was washing my dad's car, drinking a Pepsi, and thinking about playing baseball on my little league team in a few hours. 

When I snapped out of it, I realized I needed to take a shower and get started on my blog before it was too late for my devoted, precious readers! 

Anyway, I made it! Even if it's almost 6:30 CST! I'll try to do better tomorrow. They say the weather is not going to be as magnificent!

Maybe not THIS bad.

"This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it!" Psalm 118:24

It's 74 degrees, with a light breeze, no more freeze if you please, "it's the bees knees," as "THEY" would say in the nineteen twen-tees!

Of course. I had to go outside and get my lawn mower ready, just in case the grass pops up unexpectedly, without me knowing about it. 

I cleaned a million leaves out of the garage and hosed down the dirty floor, all the way down the driveway and to the street.

Threw out an old vacuum cleaner, a box fan, and some worn out, mildewed clothes that were all beyond usability. 

In between time, I took our faithful dog, Chevy, for a walk around the park! 

What an absolutely PERFECT day! 

This is the day we've been waiting for all winter long! They day we longed for when it was 20 below! The day we even dreamed about when the frigid wind was howling outside our bedroom window!

"This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it!" Psalm 118:24

I still wish I could do handsprings and cartwheels (I know it's hard to believe, but I could do handsprings and cartwheels in my youth), because that is exactly what I would do today, if I could, but I can't, so I won't. 

Soooo, have you been out enjoying this weather today? Okay, some of you folks have an indoor job, but what about after work? 

In fact, instead of reading this blog, go outside and do some handsprings, if you can! 

If you cannot, just stand still in the glorious sunshine, spread your arms out, soak in the rays, and sing...

Oh, if only I could capture this day in a bottle...a BIG bottle, and during one of those Siberian-like winter days in January, open the BIG bottle and let out this gorgeous weather!

That might not be a great idea, now that I think about it.

Even if you had a bottle as big as a water tower, it still would not be enough good weather to overcome the wintry forces comin' atcha from one of them Alberta Clippers, polar vortexing down from Canada at 60 miles per!! 

However, I'm not gonna dwell on anythang negative today, brothers and sisters! 

I know that some of you are wondering why I'm inside, doing my blog, whilst the phenomenal weather graces the land outside my door? 

It's 'cause I love you guys, and I'm willing to make sacrifices for your insatiable thirst for laughter from my blog! 

I'll be back outside as soon as I'm done!

I'm done.

Hooray! We're Actually Going Somewhere!

Although I can't divulge where we're going, I want to share my excitement and total joy to be attending a "SOLD OUT" show, here in Peoria, Illinois!

The reason I'm so ecstatically happy is because we hardly ever go anywhere!

You guys (according to Fazebook) go EVERYWHERE! 

If you're not going to the Bahamas, in your pajamas, your traveling to Disney Worm, or a Tom Petty concert, or maybe it's Tom Jones (whoever is still alive), or Colorado, or Seattle. (you go there too much if you ask me, but nobody's asking me) 

As for us, we go to Kroger and Schnucks. That's about it. 

So you can understand how wonderful it is for us to actually go to something SPECIAL!  However, I cannot tell you when we are going or where we are going. Sorry.

If I sound jealous about you guys traveling the world, going to John Lennon concerts, showing your photos of "Nots Bury Farm," let me assure you,  I have no covetous bones in my body. It's the rest of me that get's super envious... my bones are cool with it. 

I'm keeping today's blog super short, because we need to prepare for our live show adventure that is coming up soon. Which does NOT mean it's tonight! It could be ANY night Or DAY! Or even next month! You'll never know, 'cause it's a secret! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!

So, all of you who continue to go to exotic destinations, like Mount Rushmore, or that giant ball of dental floss in North Dakota, or Stevie Ray Vaughan concerts, can go on ahead and eat your hearts out!

We are goin' to a SOLD OUT show, where we will definitely meet the performers back stage, but I cannot reveal any details to you folks at this moment in time. Have a great day!

Pay no attention to this poster above!