TGIF...Not Just One Meaning

We ALL know what TGIF means...or do we?

How easily we assume the things we have known in the past are still the same things now, on Oct. 4, 2019.

Thank God it's Friday, is the universally accepted meaning of TGIF, right?

However, in this info age we exist in, at the present tom, TGIF can have a  potpourri (AKA pot-puree) of meanings! Such as...

In England..."The goose is fat!" Said, primarily, the day before Christmas.

In Japan..."Taguchi got inflatable female." A common hobby in the Land Of The Rising Sun.

I'm not sure if she's inflatable, but you get the point.

In Italy..."Tortellini giva indigestion folksa!" As a warning to American tourists who may eat too much tortellini. 

In Russia... "Tell Gorbachev ink face!" Due to the fact that no one has the guts to tell him about the ink on his face. (AKA forehead)

In America..."Trump gossip is fake!" Frequently said by Trump supporters.

In Mexico..."Tijuana got interesting fun!" Gleaned from a travel site TV ad that was banned. 

Here is a ligitimate video that was NOT banned, for your entertainment.

So, y'all see what I mean? No?!!

Well, don't take everything you see to mean what you thought it meant before, until you understand the context of what the acronym COULD be representing to vast, and various forms of diverse cultures, lifestyles of the rich and famous, and po folk, like me. 

Okay! My song (above) is the most impotent part, don't miss it.

Impotent?

HAPPY FRIDAY!!!

The Joy Of Old Age...For Dummies

What? There's actually a REAL book  on this?

The pink on purple lettering that I chose for today is very warming and gregarious to me. That's if lettering can be gregarious.

I think I did so, because it's Thursday, and for some inexplicable reason I have always liked Thurday. In addition, the St. Louis Cardinals bazeball team play their first game of the PLAYOFF'S today!! I know that many of you, especially you readers from far flung places, don't give a whit about bazeball...so that's all I'm sayin' about that.

It's also been prophesied by the weather prophets, that today will be a nice, cool, Autumn-like day. In the 60's here in central Illinois, or in the 15.5556's if we were in Australia.Yes, I know that tremendously beauteous weather is a harbinger (a person or thing that announces, or signals the approach of another) of nasty, cold, bitter winter!!

Which brings us to the "winter of our life." The "golden years." "Our last gasp." "The prelude to our finale." "One foot in the grave, the other on a banana peel."

When I was a young hippy, I always enjoyed talking to very old folks, because it was like they were constantly stoned, like I was.

They would lose their train of thought, like me. Told slow, mellow stories, like me. Would fall asleep mid conversation, like me. Loved all of my favorite movies, like Casablanca, Gone With The Wind, Rebecca, Citizen Kane...and they didn't give a darn about what people thought about them.

At that point in my life, I would talk to myself and say, "Danny...do you think you'll be the kind of cool, old guy that you now admire, some day?" Then I would answer, "probably not, Danny. In fact, I doubt you'll make it to old age!" Then, I'd answer back, "Wow, what a negative thing to say to me!" I would respond with, "listen, Danny...if you don't straighten up and fly right, you'll never make it to 29!! Be honest with yourself, Dan'l Boone!!" (That's what I called myself at times)

Anyway, I'm old now, and I know the answer. Am I a cool, admirable old guy? NO! Kinda cranky, with brief glimpses of humor. 

However, I do not need drugs to feel mellow, or space out, or babble on, or get the munchies, or enjoy ridiculous old movies from the twenties, thirties, forties, and fifties, or fall asleep...ANYWHERE, or NOT get easily embarrassed by the increasingly embarrassing things I do.

So you now ask, "Dan'l Boone, "what about the wisdom, discernment, common sense, and maturity that comes with old age?"

Uh, wuh-wuh- zat? I'll get back with ya tomorrow. I got somethin' to watch!

Out Of This World Wednesday...

Implosion!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When we last spied in on our little Glirkazoid friends, Rosie was about to kill Gary again, for not telling her about the Speeder Bike he had tucked away in his rucksack (AKA knapsack), that would have made their adventure a lot, faster...easier...safer...more comfortable...and more fun!!

Gary - "Rosie, stop! If you kill me, again, you'll NEVER be able to assemble the Speeder Bike alone!!"

Rosie - "Hold my beer, Gary! Actually...

At that, Rosie holds her beer in one hand, and assembles the Speeder Bike with the other hand...in record time!! (No, I don't know where the beer came from...just play along.)

Gary knew she could do it already, but ALSO knew it would take her mind off of killing him, again.

Rosie - "Okay, ye of little faith, I assembled the Speeder Bike, in record time, doubting dummy!" 

Gary - (chuckling under his breath, because Rosie forgot to kill him again) "Wow, Rosie! I NEVER thought you could do it, great job!!" (chortle, chortle)

Rosie - "What are you chortling about, Gary? I'm still gonna kill you again, when we're done with this mission!"

Gary - "Oh, snicksablixie!" (snicksablixie is a Glirkazoid word that expresses frustration, fear and consternation)

con·ster·na·tion

/ˌkänstərˈnāSH(ə)n/

Learn to pronounce

noun

1. feelings of anxiety or dismay, typically at something unexpected.

   "I always welcomed clover, much to the consternation of the neighbors"

At that, our gallant Glirkazoids glide gracefully to the Silver Sausage spazeship, in good time, utilizing the Speeder Bike that Rosie assembled speedily!

The Iconic, Legendary, Silver Sausage Spazeship

Rosie - "We need to act super swiftly, Gary!  Neprotonicus 11 will be imploding in a matter of seconds, and we need to be in the air before we get sucked out of existence!!"

Gary - "Okay! I'll start the countdown..."

Rosie - "What's takin' so long, Skeezix?! 

Gary - "Houston, we have a problem!"

Rosie - "What problem? And my name's not Houston!"

Gary - " The countdown thingy is stuck! It just goes down to 21 and jumps back up to 30!!"

Now don't forget, kiddies...as all this is hapnin', the Silver Sausage spazeship is shakin', rattlin', and rollin' from the violent earthquakes, blava eruptions,  and 300 MPH winds on Neprotonicus 11, that proceed a catastrophic implosion! 

Rosie - "Kick it!! 

Gary - "Wha?"

Rosie - "I said, KICK IT, Gary!!"

Gary - "But, Rosie, this is a billion pazooza piece of equipment! I can't just kick it!"

Rosie - "If you don't kick it, you can kiss it!"

Gary - "Kiss the countdown thingy?"

Rosie - No! Kiss your butt goodbye!!"

Immediately, Gary gives the CT a swift, forceful kick and the countdown thingy countdowns past 21, to...

Gary - " I thought it was working, but now it jumps back up to 10 after it hits 1, Rosie!!"

Rosie - "NEVERMIND! WE DON"T NEED NO STINKIN' COUNTDOWN!!! I'M TAKIN' OFF, NOW!!!

The Silver Sausage spazeship is no more than 10 secotroons  away from Neprotonicus 11 when this happens...

I love a good implosion! Don't you?

Yes, I know that's a clip of Krypton imploding, but work with me, wouldja? 

Superman was a chubby baby!

Rosie - "Whew! We made it just in tom, Gary!"

Gary - "Yes we did, Rosie! Who's Tom?"

Rosie - "Never mind, Dufus. We have the Great Jewel Of  Neprotonicus on board, and we are now winging our way to Neprotonicus 12, so the Jewel can provide power to heat, cool, light, run appliances and do all kinds of stuff for the Neprotonicans!! Now, where did you put the Great Jewel, Gary?"

Gary - "I thought YOU had the Jewel, Rosie."

Rosie - "Stop joking, Gary! Where did yo hide it?"

Gary - "Last time I saw it, YOU were carrying it on Neprotonicus 11."

Rosie - "But I gave it to YOU to hold, when I assembled the Speeder Bike!!"

Gary - "Then we need to go back to Neprotonicus 11 and find..."

Rosie and Gary - "IT'S BEEN IMPLODED!!!!!!"

Gee willikers, this is bad news for our Glirkazoid galavanters!

How can they face the powerless Neprotonicans without the Great Jewel, that would have powered their power tools, generators, deep freezers and hair dryers?!

Sketch of Neprotonican

Join us next Wednesday to discover the surprising answer, my beloved bloggees!!

Watch The "News" You Lose!

I have made a pledge to myself, and you folks, not to regurgitate the indecipherable "news" we are fed 24/7.

I just want to know how many of you have cut down, or completely stopped watching the "news," which is actually all OPINION now.

Example of news from 1959...

"A teenager was arrested for shoplifting at the mall (if there were any malls back then), liquor and cigarettes were found in his pants, he said he had no idea how the items got there."

Example of news in 2019...

"A young, vulnerable, person of color, was unfairly arrested at the mall, by the Nazi-like police, for allegedly having a few insignificant items in a safe area, that he had totally forgotten about. We know that minorities are persecuted every day at that mall, and this is just another example of bigoted, racial discrimination that needs to stop! At 5:00 pm, there will be a rally for Johnny, at the mall fountain! Be there...or be a racist!!"

Sound familiar?  Sure it does! 

Then, my friends, there is such a MAJOR difference  in "news" networks, as to how they "spin" their stories.

Uh-huh?

For example, here is how a MSNBC story might go...

"The infamous, corrupt, Russia collusion criminal, Donald Trump, was found collaborating with Vladimir Putin at a Las Vegas brothel, and handing him military secrets, billions of dollars in cash, and the deed to California!!

Here is how the Fox "news" story would go...

The BEST President in history, President Donald J. Trump, who has definitely made America great again, has skillfully used a venue no one would ever suspect, to have secret talks with Vladimir Putin, where Trump obtained military secrets, billions of dollars in cash, and a deed to Lake Baikal!! 

How far am I from the truth? "Not far, Danny! Not far," you all say in unison! 

So now I only watch about 2% of the "news" I used to watch, to get the basic drift of what's hapnin' in the whole wide worm. 

If I want pure truth, I either watch Ancient Aliens, on the History Channel, or The Curse Of Oak Island, on the History Channel, as well. 

My blood pressure cannot handle the loud, arguing, bickering, flip-flopping, untruths, falsehoods, character assassination, and outright lies on every "news" channel under the sun!

Ooops! Wrong clip! Or is it?

What ever happened to "straight" news, without the "spin," like in 1959?

Now, If you really want GOOD NEWS!