TGIF Even Though I'm Retired!

Even though I'm retired, I still like Fridays. I guess that after working at, mostly, 40 hour a week jobs it gets in your deep, psychological brain functions of the cerebral cortex...who, by the way, conquered the Aztecs.

Not to be confused with Alexandria Ocasio Cortex!

But I digress.

Another reason I enjoy Fridays is because more folks read my blog over the weekend, for some undisclosed reason. At least it has not been disclosed to me. Which is normal, because no one tells me nothin', which is a double negative, but you know what I'm sayin', RIGHT? 

Let's see, if no one tells me nothin', that means everyone is tellin' me SOMETHING?

Sorry, I've always been semantically challenged...but you already know that, don'tcha! 

Fridays are more fun, I believe, because people are generally happier on payday, for many, it's the last day of the work week for a lot of folks, so smiles, laughter, sillyness, and an abundance of merriment abounds profusely on this special day that began with Pagan roots...

The word for “Friday” in Germanic languages (including English) is named after Frija, the Proto-Germanic goddess who is the foremother of Freya and Frigg. None of the other Germanic peoples seem to have spoken of Frija as if she were two goddesses; this approach is unique to the Norse sources.

Lets test my theory. What theory? My theory that folks are happier on Fridays, in general! 

Ready? Okay, today is Friday, right? How do you feel?

a. Happy
b. Delightful
c. Bad
d. Claustrophobic
e. Confused
f. Bemused
g. Sensational

Leave your true feelings on my blog, or Facebook, or on a Post-It Note. If you decide to use a Post-It Note, stick it on your front door. I'll pick it up later.

Maintaining Our Sanity In The Midst Of Chaos

The most important thing we can do in these times of "uncertainty" is maintain our sanity.

This man is sane! Leroy Sane! Ha ha!

Keeping a calm, placid demeanor is not only helpful for defusing any stressful moments in our immediate circle of family and friends, but it creates a soothing, relaxing mental state in ourselves.

This may be too gross for you to watch, but it keeps with the theme of placid, if there is a theme. 

We must fervently dismiss negative thoughts on having no money, no job, no beef, wearing stupid masks, not being able to hug our loved ones, no weddings or funerals. no baseball or other sports, doing our SOCIAL DISTANCING at the grocery store and all public places, WASHING OUR HANDS UNTIL OUR BLOODY RED SKIN FALLS OFF OUR BONES, AND LITTLE IRRITATIONS LIKE THAT!!!!

Keeping it together shows the world that America is a place of cool, unflappable folks, who do not panic over a silly virus that could, or could NOT, cause us to suffer and die a horrible death!

Some people claim MY sanity has been in question for many, many moons. Ha ha! Can you imagine? Me? Crazy? What a larf!!

You might want to watch this to get the connection.

To the contrary, I propose that 99% of EVERYBODY ELSE is coo-coo! Not me!! Especially when it comes to this Corona Beer virus, that fortunately, I've never partaken of!! I'm a Michelob Ultra guy, if ya want to send me a case or two! (Just a joke folks! Don't REALLY do it, you crazy galoots!)

Some of the conspiracy nuts believe the Chinese scientists created this plague, others say it came from a "wet market" in Wuhan, which sounds kinda gross! I picture the bat salesperson handing us a soaking wet bat! China says the American military invented the virus. A few say it's God's fault! Ancient alien theorists believe extraterrestrials created it to FINALLY take over the earth!! AI made it, to destroy humans, so the machines can rule the world, some will purport! 

What do I believe? WHAT DOES OLD CRAZY DANNY BELIEVE? HMMM?

I BELIEVE IT ALL!! IT'S ALL TRUE!!! AND NOTICE HOW I'VE  RETAINED MY SANITY IN THE MIDST OF ALL THIS CHAOS!!!! AH, HA HA HA HA!!

Out Of This World Wednesday
Bring Your N95 Mask!

After landing on Krug the Kruddy's planet (I forget the name of the planet) our great galloping Glirkazoids have completed their essential checklist, and are about to embark on one of the most dangerous missions they've EVER, um, EMBARKED on!

Gary - "Ready to embark, Rosie?"

Rosie - "Surely! I'm itchin' for a fight!"

Gary - "I know you're itchin' for a fight, Rosie, but don't call me Shirley!"

Rosie - "This planet is so foreboding, Gary! What's the name of this foreboding planet?"

Gary - "If memory serves me (ha ha), it's simply called "The Forbidden Planet!"

Rosie - "Hmm! The foreboding, forbidden frontier!"

Gary - "No, no! Who said ANYTHANG about FRONTIER, FOOL?"

Rosie - "No one. I just like how the alliteration rolls off my Glirkazoidian tongue. Footing the foreboding, forbidden frontier, forever!"



Gary - "Footing? You're incorrigible, Rosie!"

in·cor·ri·gi·ble

/inˈkôrəjəb(ə)l/

Learn to pronounce

adjective

1. (of a person or their tendencies) not able to be corrected, improved, or reformed.

   "she's an incorrigible flirt"

   Similar:

   inveterate
   

   habitual
   

   confirmed
   

   hardened
   

   incurable

Rosie "You watch your dirty mouth, buddy!"

At that precise moment in time, Gary spots the dark, nasty lair of Krug!

The air on the Forebidden Planet stinks to high heaven to begin with, but the foul stench emanating from the dark, nasty lair could knock a buzzard off a manure wagon!

The area outside the lair (a big cave) is strewn with the bones of Krug's victims, phazed out weapons of would-be Krug killers, candy wrappers, old, rotting sneakers, with no mates, black and white TV sets...

Holy Moly!! 

I hope our heroes brought their N95 masks! 

Don't think this is a N95 mask, but it would work on masking smells for sure!

Krug must be as kruddy as his name suggests!

Krug pictured above, lest you forgot.

His defenses are waiting for Gary and Rosie to stumble into the stinky cave and...

If you are longing to find out what happens...and I know you are...

Join us next week for...

Size Matters Not Dr. Fauci!

I would take a wild guess that Dr. Fauci is the most famous man in the U.S.A. right now, with Dr. Birx next in line. (Although Deborah Birx is not a man) (I call her "scarf lady")

In addition, Dr. Anthony Fauci is probably the most respected doctor in America at this critical time.

The fact that he's REALLY short should make no difference to us. Honestly, his shortness should not even be mentioned among intelligent individuals. 

Oft times we think of short people as funny folks, like Mickey Rooney, Joe Pesci, The Munkins, Billy Barty and Hervé Villechaize, but Dr. Fauci is not funny, just because of his diminutive stature! 

Then again, maybe he's not as tiny as he looks. Remember, President Trump is 6ft 3 inches and makes most normal sized folks look smaller.

Anyway, we should not have the attitude that size matters. Think of Napoleon. He was only 5ft 6 inches and conquered a lot of areas, with the help of a vast army. 

How's about Tom Cruise? One of the top movie stars in the world, at only 5ft 7 inches!

So if you hear ANYONE put Dr. Fauci down, due to his height, tell them about my blog, and how midgets need to be respected just like normal folks! 

In total transparency, I'm only two inches taller than Dr. Fauci. He's 5' 5" and I'm 5' 7", and look how famous I've become, in spite of my heartbreakingly small altitude.

Small ALTITUDE Big ATTITUDE!

Dear Readers

Some folks are not able to click on my blog from their mobile phones without a tremendous amount of rigmarole. 

They see my blog posted on Facebook, click on it, and are then asked for their email, password and crap like that!

However, if they click on it from their PC everything is good! No probleemo!

So, to my friends who can actually connect to my blog, would please tell me if you do so on a cell phone or a PC? I'd be eternally grateful! 

If you DO read my blog from your phone, is it difficult to navigate to the blog? Are you able to comment from your phone?

If you can, please tell us how you do it. 

Big thanks to all you faithful readers who make this world a better place, by reading my blog!! Ha ha!

Danny Bruce Maness