Readership...Smeadership!

To be totally transparent, oft times I choose a blog title that grabs your attention to increase my readership. 

That's REALLY stupid, because my readership, pretty much, stays the same, no matter what I do!

I'm not complaining, but only making a statistically backed observation, that informs myself NOT to put so much time and effort into the stinking title!

You're most likely thinking, "Danny, what difference does it make if you get a lot of readers? The fact that we are amused by your outlandish blog is all that matters, right?"

Well, it all started in Kindergarten. I was a social loner, who kinda envied the popular kids, and thought that being high on the social ladder was a mark of greatness. even though I know that's a false concept in my old age.

Nevertheless, I must still have a slight twinge of that desire for popularity in the deepest part of my soul, which causes me to occasionally beg for more readers. 

I apologize. Especially to all of you who have stuck with my blog for all of these millennia. Never doubt the fact that I really, really appreciate your faithfulness and sticktoitiveness! 

Faithfulness and sticktoitiveness has the same meaning, doesn't it? Sorry for being so redundant and repetitive. 

I think I did it again, but that's okay and alright. 

Where was I? You don't know? Haven't you been paying attention? 

Now I merember!  

Vast, uncountable readership is a lifelong goal I need to mitigate, in this pandemic atmosphere! 

Just like the ancient story of the spider monkey and the Llama, I need to be satisfied with what I have, and not gripe about what could be!

Okay, there's no such story of a spider monkey and a Llama, but I needed you to believe there is, for some unexplained reason.

In conclusion, one in the hand is worth two in the bush, don't take any wooden nickels, look before you leap, and try to apply all those old sayings as much as humanly possible! 

They're pretty good advice, even in 2020!

Out Of This World Wednesday .......... Be Prepared For Anythang!

When we ponder the exciting, death defying adventures of our Glirkazoid friends, Gary and Rosie, we contemplate on how super privileged we are to meditate on ALL the past episodes of Out Of This World Wednesday, and how it made us feel to virtually travel through spaze and tom, as if we were part of this extra-terrestrial team!

Or not.  

As you undoubtedly recall from last week, our heroes have cut their vacation short, out of boredom, and are awaiting orders from the Glirkazoid High Command, whilst they get their s%# in order.

Gary - "Why are we getting our s%# in order so soon? We don't even know what s%# we'll need on our next mission!"

Rosie - "The Glirka-scouts always taught me to "be prepared" for ANYTHANG that may unexpectedly occur at any moment in time, and catch us off guard, WITHOUT our s%# in order!"

Gary - "Okay, you bring the equipment, food, weapons, and such, and I'll check them off the list."

Just an example of common check list.

Rosie - "Very well! I'll be back in a few momentos!"

Enjoy this music whilst we wait for Rosie.

Gary - "I hope Rosie comes back soon! This intermission music is horrifically boring!!"

Rosie - "I'm baaaack! Here are a few items we will need, no matter what, or where, or when the mission will be! So, I'll name them off and you can check them off the list."

Gary - "No probleemo, Roseemo!"

Rosie - "Six small photon blasters."

Gary - "Check ✅"

Rosie - "Two LARGE photon blasters."

Gary - "Check, check ✅"

Rosie - "Portable Food Eracasakle for eating in the wilderness."

Gary - "Good thinkin', Rosie! Why don't you fire that thang up now! I'm hungry!!"

Rosie - "Good grief, you're ALWAYS hungry! Just say CHECK!"

Gary - "check ✓"

Rosie - "Stop your pouting and I'll "eracasackle" a Cosmic Corn Dog for ya, big baby!"

Gary - "CHECK ✅✅✅"

I don't know about you guys and gals, but I think Gary is a tiny bit spoiled, Rosie will be TOTALLY prepared for whatever mission comes down the pike, the Supreme Glirkazoid High Command will order a dooozy of a mission for our buddies, and, well, uh, a corn dog sounds real good right now!

Be back next week for the amazing adventures of...

We Need A New Litterbug Campaign 

It's BAD out there, folks!

Since I walk Chevy Dog every day, I notice more and more trash and garbage on the streets than in all my long suffering lifetime! 

Do people think that it's all good, because the world is in so much crap, we can make it even crappier?

Almost every single day I have to pull Chevy away from half eaten hot dogs, hamburgers, pizza and a vast array of discarded food that is lining the sides of the roadways!

Not that we don't give him small bits of those delicacies at home, but what he finds on the road could be...

1. poisonous/rotten/spoiled

2. too big for his little esophagus to handle.

3. spicy/rich/tummy trouble! 

4.  in bags and boxes that he consumes to get to the yummy, half eaten food inside.

Wha ever happen to the vigorous anti-littering campaign we had in the fifties and sixties!!

Heck fire, the message was prominently displayed on White Castle boxes, for heaven's sake!!

Of course, the most powerful ad was the one below. How soon we forget!!

Monday, Monday...Can't Trust That Day...But It's Okay, I Say!

"Sure, YOU can say it's okay, because you don't have to get up and go to work, like most of us do," you're thinkin'?

Well, maybe you're not thinkin' that, but I'm feeling a bit guilty about relaxing in my luxurious recliner, whilst you are slaving away in the proverbial "salt mines" every single, miserable day!

On the other hand, I USED to work every day, and I feel your pain, in a fading memory of what it used to be on Monday...especially if I partied too hardy on the weekend!

Ouch, it was sore hard (to use a biblical term) getting out of a warm bed in December...scraping the frost off the windshield, and going to a job that always seemed to be cold as ice!

The good part was Monday could POSSIBLY be a new beginning!

All the dumb mistakes you made the week before could be swept under the proverbial rug and you could begin making fresh mistakes!

Monday gave me hope that maybe a Nashville music publisher was gonna call me about a song I sent, or I might lose a couple of lbs, 

Roman libra

The libra (Latin for "scales / balance") is an ancient Roman unit of mass that was equivalent to approximately 328.9 grams. It was divided into 12 unciae (singular: uncia), or ounces. The libra is the origin of the abbreviation for pound, "lb".

my long lost uncle would send me $2,222 pazoozas for no reason,

 my boss would leave me alone, because he partied too hardy himself and had a splitting headache, 

I could learn how to play the Appalachian dulcimer, spontaneously, 

and an endless array of possibilities that simply being alive on Monday could bring! Hallelujah!!

Sorry if I got a little preachy, but my grandpa WAS a preacher, so it comes naturally. 

So, now do you feel better about Monday? 

Well, I do! That's all that matters! 

Like my new hair-do? 

Hee haw!

Gork on Donny, This is beink Peggy fom Latvia! How's it hanging ... from Christmas tree? Latvia beink Goofy Ridge of Baltics!! Peggy feel far out, dudes!! 

All of Latvia celebrate Gork and Donny days since two of weeks of ago! Gork on Donny days will end when last Latvian is to be standing!

Gork and Donny show is still being highest rated show in Latvia, second is Real Housewives of Reega! Showink wives duties of milking goats, tendink garden and beink saxy for husbands. Difficult with goat fazool on feet!

Gork and Donny days begin with 50,000 parade (include livestock) to ginormous statues of Gork and Donny in Dupkik Square! Where we being decorate with link sausage, vodka bottles on strings and Asian Carpnado cutouts like in classic movie! Asian Carpnado movie wining 3 Latvian Oscars for beink funny, beink vacky, and kooky special effects!

Latvians paying also small tribute to Galactic Foundation, for heck of it! Mural of Gork greeting Galactic Foundation leader...along with Cookie Monster and Nate! 

We next dress up as Gork, Donny, Julesky, Kensky, and Coreysky to dance traditional dance of ha ha's round statues, while we be drinking traditional Latvian elixir of life! Beink vodka we poured from empty bottles on statues into big yak trough! Where we are being drinking from trough and bobbing for balls of awesomeness at same time! 

Peggy's nickle running out of time, so dosvedania Merry Christmas, and happy Gork and Donny Days!!!! 

Go Where You Wanna Go And Do What You Wanna Do, As Well!

A wise man once said, "the more you pay attention to what others think about you, the crazier you'll get!"

Okay, it wasn't a wise man that said this, it was me. However, I think I make a good point, for a change!

If you don't give a rat's patoot about what others think, there is a freedom that can only be described by watching a caged boar being released in the wild, who with reckless abandon, runs amuck through them Kentucky hills, gores a couple of bystanders, and proceeds to eat their McDonald's sack lunch!

Yes! It's that exhilarating! 

On the other hand, always being concerned over what others think about the style of mask we're wearing, the model of car we drive, what we eat and drink, the clothes we wear, the amount of Old Spice we use, our favorite music, where we go to church, how we raise our chitlins, and a zillion other things, will drive us stark raving mad!!

Don't forget what the foretellers of the future told us...

There you go man, keep as cool as you can. Face piles And piles Of trials With smiles. It riles them to believe that you perceive the web they weave And keep on thinking free. The Moody Blues.

So, to keep it short and sweet today...

I Got Plenty Of Nothin' This Thursday

Thursday is, traditionally, a great day for me to do my blogging, because I've always been partial to Thursdays since I was a little kid, for reasons I can't explain.

However, this Thursday, I feel like I have no brain to opine on nothin'! 

I was thinking about reminiscing about all of the 1950's Christmas shows like Hardrock, Coco and Joe, and Here Comes Suzy Snowflake, but that would only be compelling for you oldsters who grew up in those ancient times.

Then there was a little movie from the 50's that told the story of Mary and Joseph traveling to Bethlehem for Jesus birth, but I could not find it for the life of me! Maybe the atheistic, anti-Christ TV executives destroyed that one for being too religious!

Oh. wow! YouTube age restricted my song! Cool!! Promise you're over 18, and then click it on!

No! That would NEVER happen! 

Anyway, if you find it, send me the link! Remember, it has to be from the fifties, and I can't remember if it was animated or live action, and it showed Camels, Joseph and Mary traveling, I think the Wise Men as well, although they didn't actually attend Jesus birth. Look it up. 

https://ebible.com/questions/11837-where-and-when-did-the-wise-men-meet-jesus
 

Well, that's all I got on this inauspicious Thursday!

Except for the fact that I'll be doing my "Peggy From Latvia" bit on the Greg and Dan radio show again this year, which I REALLY need to work on, and will be singing Mary Did You Know at Christ Bible Church again this year, which I REALLY need to practice!

Every year I have to find out if I can still hit those high notes, and the day I cannot, I'll quit. Watching an old codger trying to sing those high notes and missing the mark is kind of embarrassing for everybody!

Okay! I'm finished on this ordinary Thursday morning. I know you're longing for inspiration and enlightenment, but I just ain't got none today. 

Unless I tell you about the time I saw Tony Dow on Catalina Island! Oh, I already told that story?

Then I got nothin'!