Right now, I can only offer my humble, heartfelt thanks until the time I can shower them in cold hard cash!

http://www.theaposematics.com/gandjingle2.mp3 (Click on this jingle now!)
Above is the jingle I wrote for the Greg and Dan radio show. John Farmer and I recorded it at his Blue Civilian Studio . I can't remember when I had so much fun! We were laughing so hard we could hardly finish the crazy thing.
John also helped me record the best song I've ever written; "Mind To Mind And Heart To Heart."

My plan is that when my songs and books become universally adored by billions of people I will pay back everyone who has helped me. The list includes John Farmer, Greg Batton, my sister Dee-Dee, Mary Greenhood, Marty Wombacher, my wife Donna, Josh Starkey, Dan Sidell, Dan Thies, Jason Heath and a few others.
Right now, I can only offer my humble, heartfelt thanks until the time I can shower them in cold hard cash!

HITCHIN’
God’s Way of Letting You Know
You Don’t Have A Car.

By a steamed author, Danny Maness.
Wow! This book is funny already. Saying, “a steamed” author instead of esteemed author. I wonder if the whole book will be filled with this hilarious wordplay? Oh, I hope so. I love jabberwocky! For instance; In the town, where I was bored, lived a bad, who sailed to seed, and he told me of his lice, in the lad of soobmarines, so, he sailed unto the suds, ‘till he found the sea of greed, and he libs beneath the wabes, in his yallow soobmarine!
O.K. now. I forgot to put acknowledgments in my first book, so, I’ll put them on the next page if that fuits yer sancy. HA! Look! A classic “word whip” as it might have been done by Shake- Spear himself. Hey! Just a rootin’ tootin’ second! I’m writing the book, so I can put ANYTHING I want in this thang! I can even do a big run on paragraph if I want. How cool is dat!!?? Did you see that? I put 2 exclamation points and 2 question marks and no one stopped me. This is exciting! WHO DARES TO VENTURE INTO THE UNCHARTED WATERS OF MY, silly little, MIND! YOU DARE? WHO DARE? WHAT YOU GONNA DO DARE? THIS IS FUN!






ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Jason Heath is a brilliant artist who did the illustrations for my first book, “Chicken’s Butts and Coconuts Will Ultimately Make Or Break You” and this book, “Hitchen’, God’s Way Of Letting You Know You Don’t Have A Car!” The reason it looks like he drew the cartoons in 5 minutes is because I asked him to do it that way. I wanted them kind of primitive looking and he did a fabulous job didn’t he? Thanks Jason! You are, hereby ACKNOWLEDGED!

Marty Wombacher has written the funniest books I have ever read! “ 99 Beers Off The Wall” made me laugh so hard I was literally afraid to read the next page because my gut was aching so bad from laughing! He has helped me to become a better writer and I owe him a lot! (I think it’s about $47.00, at last count.) If you think I’m funny, you’ll adore Marty’s stuff! If you don’t think I’m funny, go to H-E double hockey sticks! Marty! You’ve been ACKNOWLEDGED!

Rick Robberson is forthwith acknowledged as a great and cool friend. When you said you liked my book I was encouraged to the max, because you’re one of the funniest guys I’ve ever known!

MORE ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Benji Boo Boo, our Yorkie, is ACKNOWLEDGED for always making us happy! Benji Wenji, Benji Boo, Benji Wenji, we love you!




I am proud and honored to ACKNOWLEDGE my beautiful, gorgeous, sexy wife who never, ever gives up on me, even when I’m ready to “throw in the towel” about 5 times a day! You’re my Angel!

Genius Cartoon Maker Me!

Now I'm beginning to understand why everyone says I'm so dumb! I've been creating all these AWESOME cartoons for your entertainment and not taking any credit for them! How stupid can I be? Walt Disney could be out there watching them and he wouldn't know who the genius was behind these imaginitive creations! What if Hannah and Barbara wanted to do another Huckleberry Hound Cartoon series? I would be PERFECT for the job but if they didn't realize that I was the guy doing these cartoons they would never hire me! So, this is to let all of you big cartoon people know that I'm available, and here are a few examples of my extraordinary work!

Glirkazoids To The Rescue!

O.K. Yesterday I reached my primary goal of 10,000 views on my videos ( Very AWESOME) and this morning I checked out my blog and saw I had 1001 views of my BLOG! What's going on? There was a time when I was getting zero views on my blog and now it keeps growing and growing! I think I know what is happening.

I'm getting help from above. Yes, I think the GLIRKAZOIDS are assisting me!!
As you know from reading my books, Glirkazoids are little (4 inches..MAX) space alien creatures that play a game from their spaceships that hover high above the earth.
"Why can't we see these spaceships," you ask so skeptically? Because they employ their techno-advanced U-Kont Seamy device, that's why!
Anyway, their game is to take the lowest most miserable earth failures and make them succeed to great fame and fortune!
Sooo, I believe they've chosen me as a contestant. That can be the ONLY reason a lifelong loser like me is doing so well at my ripe old age.
If you want to know more about Glirkazoids you can read my books. Available at "I Know You Like A Book Bookstore" in Peoria Heights Illinois.

10,000 Views!

I have good reason to believe that I'll have 10,000 views on my videos today! To thank all of you who have suffered through them, I have created a song and video in your honor. You guys (and gals) are AWESOME!

The Aposematics

Walking Upright by The Aposematics
Soreyes by The Aposematics
Hands On by The AposematicsThe Aposematics are the band I've been waiting for all my life!
Before you read this, click on one of the"start
" buttons for a sample of their music.
(The little white arrows
in the black circles)
The Aposematics give me the same FEELING I get from listening to songs from the 60's. They are young but have been influenced by the Beatles and other classic bands from 50 plus years ago.
On the other hand, John Farmer writes lyrics that are 21st century, with melodies that truly stir emotions that bring back visions of the classic bands of my youth.
I have asked John Farmer (About 30 years old) if he is a time traveler because of his deep knowlege of music from long ago. He denies it, but isn't that what you would expect from a time traveler?
They have a good fan base that adores them, but when they play a concert EVERYONE is blown away by their unique style and superb musicianship.
Dan Thies is McCartney-like on bass and Ken Pilkington is super on drums.
The vocals of Farmer and Lori Koch are, in my humble opinion, the best!
Lori's voice takes me back to iconic singers like Joan Baez, Judy Collins, and Connie Francis. However, it is a voice that is totally distinct and recognizible in it's beautiful tone and perfection. ( The Greg and Dan radio show are BIG fans of her and the Aposematics!)
John Farmer is equally amazing in the pure sound of his voice that has an awesome range from low and textured to very sweet and high.
John won a songwriting contest for his haunting song, "The Bridge Is Out" and the band was featured in Rolling Stone Magazine. A rare honor for ANY great band!
When it comes to music, all I know is what I feel and what kind of emotion the music delivers to my heart. With that in mind, on a scale from 1 to 10, the Aposematics send me off the scale to maybe 100 or more. Look them up on Facebook or just Google Aposematics band and I think you'll be delighted.





Red Shoes by The Aposematics