SURREALbfdrewcyb99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999SATURDAYSSURREAL 

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Gary The Glirkazoid At The Grand Ole Opry, by noted surrealist artist, Danny Madness

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I call this, Congress Is In Session.

Let's call this one, Giant Alien Head Propped Up On Sticks

TURDAYSSATURDAYSSURREALSATURDAYS99999999999999999

     Atlantis suburbs.

The Pleidoisodian Skullworm Cheekin, tastes just like chicken!

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Wooden Ships On The Water Very Free, Easy, You Know The Way It's Supposed To Be

Horned Zylochron Baby, Atop A 5 Eyed Lycykuloou LLama 

RDAYSSATURDAYSSATURDAYSSURREALSATURDAYS99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999SATURDAYSSURREALytt453643356defSSURREAL SURREALs ATURDAYSSATURDAYSSATURDAYSSURREAL SSURREAL SURREALs ATURDAYS

99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 SURREALSURREALSATURDAYS SURREAL SURREAL SATURDAYSSURREAL SURREAL SURREAL 
SATURDAYSSATURDAYSSATURDAYS99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999

The Future Of The Republican Party

99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999

99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999

99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999

99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999

999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999

Hey Horseface!

99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999SURREALSATURDAYS 99999999999999999999SURREALSATURDAYS 

The Best Double Date, Ever!

SURREALSATURDAYS SATURDAYSSURREAL SURREAL SURREAL 

Marty Wombacher Decides To Drive Home On Sunday Night, For A Change.

                           The Sad Result Of Government Experiments , Having Captured Gray Aliens Mate With Trees.                        

SATURDAYSSATURDAYSSATURDAYS999999999999999999999999999999999999

FAN FRIDAYS

On Fan Fridays I talk about the musicians, singers, comedians, and special people that have enlightened, and inspired me my whole life.

MY AWESOME SISTER DEE-DEE

Dee-dee is the adorable one, in the "bibs," 2nd from the ugly kid in front.

I love and admire my sister Dee-Dee (AKA Paula Diane Maness Tolbert) more than anyone I know, or have ever known.
I don't know what her IQ is, but she knows more about EVERYTHING than anyone I've ever met!

That's probably why we fought like cats and dogs as children, and still do at times.

She was better at just about everything, and it made me feel dumb...Oh, that's right, I AM DUMB!!

On the other hand, we had a great time singing show tunes, doing ittle hand puppet shows for our nieces and nephews (we didn't have puppets, we just used our hands), watching classic movies together, listening to Bill Cosby albums, and "The First Family" albums with Vaughn Meader doing the greatest John F. Kennedy impression! 

However, I have always been good at saying and doing dumb things, making stupid mistakes, and being obnoxious.

Dee-Dee has always been level headed, made wise decisions, was honest, caring, and has ALWAYS helped me in too many ways I can count.

She taught me about so many things and introduced me to so many great people I came to love, like Rodgers and Hammerstein, Katharine Hepburn, Spencer Tracy, Stan Tolbert, Gene Kelly, Fred Astaire...Let's face it, she's the greatest authority I know on all the great classic movies, musicals, music, cartoons, books , world events, t.v .shows, Yule Brynner, etc., etc., etc.

If I ever need to know anything about ANYTHING, she knows the answer, and she has always been there for family members when they were in need! 

I have always been jealous of her intelligence, because she is ALWAYS RIGHT. She doesn't just THINK she is right, she is! And it gets me so ticked off!

Then I always have to "eat crow," because I shot my mouth off again, without thinking.

I really would have a hard time if she was not around to give me security and answer my dumb questions.

Dee-Dee is my greatest hero, teacher, and friend.

If you know Dee-Dee, you know what a kind and loving heart she has, and she has probably helped you at some time.

Let her know how much she means to you.

I try, but I never seem to be able to say the right words.

I love you, my good, brilliant, strong, funny sister,

Danny

                               MIND TO MIND AND HEART TO HEART                        

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q2kN95kYT_g

THOUGHTFUL THURSDAYS

On Thoughtful Thursdays we roll down the mellow road of peace and love, and take a relaxing stroll through the flower garden of our sweet memories and imaginary experiences.

Be real calm, dude,

Take it real slow.

Easy boy. It's okay fella. No one's gonna hurt ya boy. (It works on horses)

How ya doin' today? Are you feeling comfortable and cozy?

I hope so with all my heart, because Thoughtful Thursdays should be as mellow as a James Taylor song.

                                                     James looks a little different now.                  

I think you'd agree that ultra harsh, heavy metal music would not be in vogue for Thoughtful Thursdays. 

Although, Inner Siege,(^above^)is good for a different time.

I auditioned for this local band, but I was too old to keep up.

I don't want to spoil the mood of Thoughtful Thursdays, but the Inner Siege clip(^above^)REALLY, REALLY, REALLY...ROCKS!!!

Take my hand, and walk merrily with me through...what? You don't want to take my hand? It's okay! I'm a doctor. Come on, no need to worry. Now, take my hand, there you go!

AAAAAAHHHHH, that feels good!!!

We are riding the paisley choo-choo train of imagination, and joyous breathtaking wonderment, that propels us, ever so slightly, into the everlasting, swirling, universal kaleidoscope of all our fondest memories, desires, and really fun times, that have brought us sublime happiness, and made this semi-futile effort to recreate the deep, profound feelings that once permeated our hearts and souls so pitiful!

Remember this AWESOME Beatles song?!

Picture yourself in a boat, on a river,

(or is that, ON a boat, IN a river),

With tangerine trees and marmalade skies, 

Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly,

A girl with kaleidoscope eyes,

Cellophane flowers of yellow and green,

Towering over your head,

Look for the girl with the sun in her eyes ,

And she's gone.

Let's do what they said, okay gang?

I'm in, or on, a boat, in, or on, the Illinois river, and I see tangerine trees lining the banks in front of the old Steak and Shake.

I'm lying on my back, and I see marmalade skies.

What is marmalade? I'll Google it.

mar·ma·lade  

/ˈmärməˌlād/

Noun A preserve made from citrus fruit, esp. bitter oranges, prepared like jam.

Synonyms jam It looks like this>>>>>>>>>>>>> I have to admit, it is a mellow looking sky!

Somebody calls me...Daaaannny...Daaaaaannny....

Daaaaaaaaaaaaannnnny!!!

Now, I'm really freakin' out to the max!!

I look up, and there is this weird "chick," floating in mid-air, and eerily calling my name, man!

But, that's not the worst of it!!

What really creeps me out is her huge eyes, as big as dinner plates, and making all these complicated, colorful designs like a kaleidoscope!!!

Like, I'm scared to death, but she's callin' my name, so I answer her real slowly, and I'm sore afraid!!

Ye ye ye ye, yes, what do you wa wa, want?

Before she can answer, these gigantic, yellow and green, cellophane flowers start popping up from the river bottom, and tower over my head!!!

I can't stop thinking about this alien girl, whose kaleidoscope eyes are as blinding as the sun!!!

Then...all of a sudden...she's gone!!

You know, I'm not so sure this song is as mellow as I thought.

BURMA SHAVE

       One of my all tom favorite songs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 WHAZZUP WEDNESDAYS

W

whazzup?

         whazzup?

               whazzup?

whazzup?

whazzup?

whazzup?

whazzup?

As you may already know, Whazzup Wednesdays is when I ask the questions and U provide the answers.

Answers?  That can't be right!

Shouldn't it be ansers? 

Why the W in that worm?

I think I'll start saying it the way it's spelled, and see how people react.

Anyway, in just a few nano seconds the questions will begin in earnest. I would have rather had the questions begin in tom, but he wasn't available.

Question 1: Take your right hand and put it on top of your head, (come on, do it, this is interactive blogging) and pat your head to the beat of Michael Jackson's "Billie Jean" song. This is important, go ahead! I'll wait.

Okay, did you do it? 

There's really no question with this. I just wanted to make you do something stupid! HA!

Question 1, redo: 

Who put the bomp

In the bomp bah bomp bah bomp?
Who put the ram
In the rama lama ding dong?
Who put the bop
In the bop shoo bop shoo bop?
Who put the dip
In the dip da dip da dip?

Question Deux: What are 3 differences and 3 similarities between Gumby and Marty Wombacher?

Question Tres: Mr. Big Stuff, who do you think you are?

Question Fore: Who-ou-ou ou, who are you?

Question Fithe: Would you rather have someone give you 

$5000.00, or give you a penny on the first day of the month, 

and keep doubling the amount for 31 days?

Question Sic: What are the 3 main uses of road kill in Alabama?

Question Severing: 222 alien Glirkazoid spaceships are 

traveling at swarp speed to the Blurridian Sector, the 

estimated arrival time is 22: 03 Blurridian time.

They enter a brief ion-residue storm that lasts 4.77 dzlecles.

What will be their adjusted arrival time if they don't stop for 

gas?

TIMES UP!!

Make sure your name is written on the top right hand of your test paper and mail it to Urkel Press.

♫MADNESS MUSIC MONDAYS♫

My dream has always been to have one of my songs playing on the radio for all the whole wide worm to hear, and then someone would say, wow, this song is awful, how did this crap get on the radio?!!!

I love it when my blog is all about me.

I think I'm funny, talented, good looking, intelligent, a good dancer,  great singer,

 faithful friend, charismatic, and a BIG LIAR!

♫Madness Music Mondays♫ is my way of tricking unsuspecting victims to listening to the crappy music I've written and recorded over the last 100 years.

No one will be forced to listen to more than 30 seconds of any song presented on this blog, because no one could SURVIVE listening to more than 30 seconds of one of my songs!!

Let's talk about Beethoven. (No, not the Saint Bernard) 

We all know that Beethoven was a total Madman, not unlike ME, Danny Madness, and somehow in his crazy, insane, nuttiness, discovered how every single note can move us, one way or another, in an intense emotional way.

If this is getting too deep for ya, I'll let you stop to shake your head.

Ready? Okay.  

Let's discuss his Ninth Symphony, if you do not object.

                   Whatever you do, don't miss this clip! Seriously, you'll feel better!!

What? Stick it where? Does that mean you object? Uh, well...sure...I can make it a bit more user friendly...let's see...

Ludwig could make us feel good, bad, sad, really sad, totally depressed, suicidal, and euphoric , all in one  little piece of music, like his Ode To Joy, that is at the end of his, aforementioned, Ninth Symphony, but you already knew that, didn't you? (Phew!!)

Now, here's the point! 

What do you mean, you didn't think there WAS a point?  (It's on the top of my head!) Get it? Point? On the top of...never mind.

MY music works exactly the way Beethoven's music does, however, Danny Madness' music elicits emotions that Beethoven's music could NEVER, umm. elicit!

For example: Embarrassment, pity, fear of clowns, turtle worship, verklemptability, disdain, and reverse superciliousness.

Now we are going to examine one of my classic songs that was actually picked up by a small record publisher, many, many years ago, but never went anywhere, of course, so I can demonstrate how music can seep way down into your heart, soul, and tummy, to make you extremely nauseous.

              You're A Rainbow, I'm The Rain  by Danny Madness           

Let me decipher the hidden meaning to this song for you, just like we did with the Beatles songs in our misspent, wasted youth:

Lyrics :                                                                                    Meaning:

Everybody loves your smile,                                       You're annoyingly 

Everybody knows your name,                                    popular.

Makin' friends is not my style,                                     I'm a sociopath.

You're a rainbow, I'm the rain,                                    You're sooo colorful and
                                                                                                 above the rest of us, and 
                                                                                                  I'm a "wet blanket."

When I'm angry, you are kind,                                    You don't ALWAYS call
                                                                                                the cops.

When things seem hopeless, you remain,                 Long enough to grab my
                                                                                                  welfare check.

You're always there to ease my mind,                          I steal your prescription drugs.

You're a rainbow, I'm the rain,                                        (See above)

Oh, my darling, you're a rainbow,                                    (See above, again)

I'm a storm, that can't be tamed,                                        Certified psychotic,
                                                                                                       criminally insane.

You are soft colors,                                                                  When I'm really high on
                                                                                                         "acid."

I am dark clouds,                                                                        Deeply depressed and 
                                                                                                           semi-suicidal.

You're a rainbow, and I'm the rain,                                       (See above again)

You are sweet and good and lovely,                                        When you're sleeping.

I am hard, and rough, and plain,                                               Actually, soft, smooth, 
                                                                                                              and strange.

How did you ever come to love me?                          You mistakenly thought 
                                                                                                daddy would leave me his
                                                                                                  fortune.

You're a rainbow, I'm the rain.                                                  (Whatever)

 Disclaimer: (In case my beautiful wife ever sees this.)
Any words you may read in this blog that SEEM to be showing any lack of me completely worshiping you, and adoring you, are meant for humorous entertainment value, only. 
This is just fantasy, baby, I'm a writer of funny things, and need to make fun of stuff to make others laugh, see?

Hell she never reads my blog, anyway. But, should I take a chance, and push the "publish" button?
HMMMM?