OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY

Gary The Glirkazoid did not like walking very much. He would rather beam himself from one place to another, however, his Medical Duckter told him he needed to walk, if he wanted to live a few hundred thousand more years.

So, Gary was doin' some power walking in a lovely, wuded area, on his home planet of Glirka, when he spotted a little white glunny who seemed to be in quite a rush!

Glunny - (Looking at his watch) "Oh, my...I'm so late..." At that, he popped down a pothole, real quick-like!

Gary thought this was quite strange, especially since he never heard a glunny talk before...so he jumped down the pothole his own self, out of curiosity, and found himself in a farm house that was spinning in the middle of a tornado, that eventually landed with a thud, in a land called Odd! 

Sadly, the house landed on Puff The Magic Dragon, which REALLY ticked of Little Jackie Paper, who vowed revenge upon Gary, but it wasn't even Gary's fault! 

Rosie, The Good Witch Of The Norris, floated down in a bubble and explained everything to Jackie Paper, so he didn't emulsificate our cute little Gary The Glirkazoid.

A bunch of Glirkazoids, all dressed in Lederhosen, kept telling Gary to follow the Jello Licked Road until he finds a giant beans talk, where he should NOT climb it, but instead, chop it down to make Licken Chittle start proclaiming, "The skype is falling...the skype is falling!!"

Gary was not born on a turnip truck, so he did nothing of the sort. He would find Rocky and Bullwinkle, Chris Martin and Kris Kringle to dance and sing the "It's all about dat bass" song, which would magically whisk him back to where he's never been before! 

Dangerous spaze travel was like a wog in the park, compared to this super-surreal "trip" Gary was experiencing in this dysfunctional dimension! 

A Wog

And who should come around the corner but Jed Clampett, dragging Granny, who had been imbibing of her rheumatiz medicine...profusely! 

Gary had never seen these folgs on this side of the T.Z. screen, and he seemed to be hovering up above the "cement pond" on a flying Mr. Ed, who kept repeating, in that deep voice, "When I make a promise...I keep it...when I make a promise...I KEEP IT...

Gary... "Ha! What a larf! Promises, promises...I'm a fool for promises, promises!"

Then something took Gary's alien breath away, when he saw the same exact little carnival that used to come, once a year, to his home town of Glatoraideuropia, with the lighted glerris weal, tilt a glirl, glerry go ground, and all the food vendors and games of chance! 

Chihuahua, Gary was surprised when it all changed into the whole fleet of Jurillinginging war ships that he and Rosie had destroyed 75,000 epochs ago! 

Gary now finds himselve playing the part that Clen Gampbell (the horse shooter) played in True Grit (arguably my FAVORITE movie) with John Wayne in his memorable role as Cooster Rogburn! 

All this was starting to make NO sense, whatsoever, when Gary realized he was in the middle of a pretty, psycho-delic video that made him very hackey...

All of a sudden our beloved Glirkazoid hears Robert Plant singing...

Robert Plant - Gary! Gaaary? Can ya hear me, ya little green bloke? Gary!

At that, Gary sees Rosie leaning over him, slapping his face, and calling his name.

Rosie - Gary, you were REALLY out of it for a while! You were talking in your sleep, saying things like white glunnies, potholes, Jackie Paper, Rocky and Bullwinkle....

Gary - Oh, thank goodness! It was only a dream!

Rosie - It's all okay now, Gary! Now just relax for now. John Wayne will be riding in on Mr. Ed to take you to the Jello Licked Road to find the real Puff The Magic Dragon who was not pulverized with that house after all, and the Jurillinginging War Ships are itchin' to go to battle with us, after we listen to some A.C. D.C...

Gary - A.C. / D.C. ? You know I'm more of a Joni Mitchell fan!! 

Rosie - "Wake up, Gary!" 

Gary REALLY wakes up this tom. 

Gary - "Rosie, remind me to NOT eat White Castle Hamburgers before I go to bed anymore!" 

Rosie - "Will do, buddy!"

OUT OF THIS WORM WEDNESDAY

..

Since the tom of The Long Ranger, Shy Ann Bodie, The Mork Of Zorro, and Gun-smog, there hath never been greater legend-dairy heroes than Gary and Rosie, who are Glirkazoids from the distant plan-it of Glirka! 

When we left them last Wednesday, they were planning to ambush the ferocious Megathor creature before getting probed within' an inch of their lice! 

Rosie was waiting in the middle of one of the dark, dank Caves Of Guano, as bait, and Gary has climbed up on some rocks or shimmied up a stalactite, or something, to drop down on the vicious beast and put a choke hold on him as if he was selling "loosies" on a NewYork street corner! 

If you can remember, Gary and Rosie, had been searching for the ancient Ark Of The Holey Gruel, but now they have a slight detour, that makes the story more diverse. (Dis is diverse story I ever hoid)

The terrifying Megathor (who looks remarkably like a giant Tiny Tim or maybe Kenny G.) 

is within inches of grabbing our sweet Rosie...when...all of a sudden...Gary jumps on the creepy creatures back and puts him in the infamous "Glirkazoid Choke Hold" that incapacitates any, and all, wicked lifeforms, while Rosie uses her bull-whip to wrap around it's hairy legs to speed up the process of the giant going down hard!

Gary uses his shrink-ray to shrink the Megathor down to about 2 inches and releases him. (By the way did I ever tell you the story about Gary having the shrink-ray gun stuck down the front of his pants and it accidentally went off and...just joking...everybody knows Gary doesn't wear pants!)

No pants!

As if controlled by some unseen force, all of the thousands of bats that were hangin' around in the cave begin attacking our super heroes with a vengeance, but Rosie quickly emulsificates them until there's nothing left but their guano! (bat poo poo)

Gary - Me thinks someone...or some THING is trying to prevent us from finding the Ark Of The Holey Gruel that will make us extraordinarily powerful, wise, and guarantee we'll have a nice day!

Rosie - Puzzle me this, Gary...aren't we ALREADY  extraordinarily powerful, wise, and have nice days? 

Gary - Hmmm, you've got a good point, Rosie! Let's go find a White Castle Hamburger joint and forget this dumb quest! 

Rosie - I'm wit ya, spazeboy!!

OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY

The Caves Of Guano are located on the creepy looking planet of Alucard, where the misty green fog combines with the stench of the bat poo poo to create an ever present atmosphere that is sickening to most lifeforms. 

However, Glirkazoids, like Rosie and Gary, are immune to the debilitating, odorous, toxic fumes of the Caves Of Guano, due to a steady diet of pureed bat lips as babies. (A traditional baby food on their planet, Glirka.)

But, why, oh why do we find them wading through the stinking, stagnant water of these dark, ominous caves? Hmm?

They are searching for the legendary, sacred, mysterious, Ark Of The Holey Gruel! 

Legend has it that about 12 zillion epoks ago, the greatest of all Glirkazoids, Gork The Great, would keep his magic, hard as a rock, emaciated, full of worm holes, gruel (or oatmeal) in a wooden box. Whenever he opened the box and ate a tiny bit of the magic gruel, he would gain the strength of 2000 gelephants, acquire the wisdom of 10,000 Jeopardy winners, and basically have a nice day. 

Somehow, someway, the ark (box) went missing, along with the amazing, powerful, magic gruel. For centuries this prized artifact has been searched for by creatures throughout all of the galaxies and universes. (Yes, there is more than one universe.) 

Gary - "I think I've found something in this yucky, stinking water, Rosie!"

Rosie - "I'll shine my super hero flashlight on it."

Gary - "Dang it! It's just another ancient alien probe. They are all over these caves!"

Rosie shudders to think of the horrible atrocities that occurred in the very place they are standing.

All of a sudden, they hear the unmistakable, earth shaking growl of a Megathor! 

A Megathor is a tremendously powerful half beast, half robot, half humanoid, who delights in the "examination," shall we say, of helpless, innocent victims from diverse planets in the vast, cosmic system we like to call "SPAZE!"

I was going to describe a Megathor for you, but a picture is worth 1000 worms...

Imagine bumping into THAT in a dark cave! Gives me cold chills up me spine!!

The Megathor kept creeping closer and closer to our little friends, and Gary came up with an idea. 

He would leave Rosie out in the middle of the cave, for bait, climb up on some rocks above the beast, and then jump on it's back. 

Rosie - "Gary...you ALWAYS use me for bait! Why can't you be the bait sometimes?"

Gary - "Seriously? What self respecting creature would be lured by me, hmmm? You are much better at being the bait than ugly old me!"

Rosie - "Thank you, Gary!" I guess I should feel honored to risk my life...NOT!"

Gary - "Rosie...be quiet and don't move while I climb up on these roc...whoops...whoa Nellie!(Gary falls off the rocks a few times before he gets in position)

Rosie and Gary's little hearts are pounding as they await the Megathor to tip-toe towards them terrifyingly! 

What is guano happen?

Will the Megathor use his ukulele as a deadly weapon? 

Return next weeg to find out!

OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY

Time was of the essence!

Soon, the beautiful, talented, intelligent, athletic, heroic Rosie would be nothing but spaze dust, if Gary did not find her real quick-like! 

After circumventing the Asteroids Of Death, avoiding the deadly bites of infamous "Spaze Pi-RATS, who stowaway on all untidy spazeships, and blasting his way through the "Meteors Of Impossibility," Gary was still trying to avoid scratching that debilitating rash that was in an embarrassing location. 

Rosie is remaining the brave little warrior woman, and never giving up hope her lifelong friend would save her! She begins to dream and imagines she is Sweet Polly Purebred singing to Underdog...

All of a sudden, over the incessant sound of rash scratching, Gary hears the sweetest sound he can imagine. It starts out very low and keeps getting stronger and stronger...Oh, where, oh where is my underdog, Oh where, oh where can he be...

Eureka! I've found her! She must have fallen asleep and is dreaming she's Sweet Polly Purebred again! 

In a millionth of a second, Gary zeros in on Rosie's signal, and "beams" her off that disgusting planet into the warmth and safety of the Silver Sausage! 

As Gary holds his faithful friend in his arms, and looks into her large beautiful eyes, he is so happy she has survived! He breathes a sigh of relief, and says, " FINALLY, somebody to make good coffee again!"

Rosie - "What was THAT, you green,

long-eyed, spaze cowboy?!!

Gary - Ha Ha Ha! Just tryin' to get a rise outta ya, Yellow Rose!!!

OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY

Our Glirkazoidian hero, Gary, is making his way across the Galaxy in search of his beloved pardner and best friend, Rosie, who is crash landed on a really inhospitable planet, with just a few hours remaining until she...uh...I don't want to talk about it! (sniff, sniff)

Gary is determined to find his faithful friend, in spite of the dangers that the Snickers Galaxy. With the "asteroids of death," "spaze pi-RATS," "meteor showers of impossibility," and dealing with a bad rash he contracted while battling a vicious Tiduvian beast and falling into a hedge of Prickle-lice.

However, absolutely NOTHING would stop him from finding Rosie! No way! No how!!

Wasting away on the icky planet of Phurnaphreeze, is our super sweet, brave, resourceful Rosie, who is trying to send a signal out on her homemade communicator, while running low on photon power, glirf, food in a tube, and lipstick. Although her chances of surviving are a billion to one, she NEVER gives up hope that her bestest buddy, Gary, will find her and she begins to sing...

In the mean time, our fearless friend, Gary, is zig zagging his way through the asteroids of death without even considering his own safety! His only thoughts are finding his friend and pardner who has ventured with him on thousands of missions to save the universe a LOT of toms!!

Will Gary find her in tom?

Will Rosie sing her last tune?

Is OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY DOOMED FOREVER? 

Return with us next week for the light hearted adventures of 

Gary and Yellow Rose!

My Blog Has  31,736 Pageviews!

That tells me that there are a lot of folks reading it who prefer to remain anonymous, because they fear having ANY connection to me whatsoever!  It's kind of like when you tell people you listen to Rush Limbaugh or Glenn Beck, and they instantly think you're a nut!










Admitting you read my Bloggadocious blog or that you listen to my avanti guard music will definitely put you into the nut category, but that's part of the fun of living!

Think about those "Charlie" newspaper dudes in France. 

The terrorist dudes told them to stop making fun of Muslim stuff and they decided NOT to be intimidated and...well. maybe that's not a good example.

My point is...uh...Oh, yeah...don't be afeared of admitting you know me, or that you like my weird songs and dysfunctional blog! 

Those dumb terrorists will never know you sided with an anti-terrorist guy like me! (I'm secretly a double naught, anti-terrorist spy)

Have a great day, comment, like, and remember what F.D.R. said..."The only thing we have to fear is ferret smells!" Which can be very overpowering if you don't claen the litter box every day! 

Arriva birdie, 

Danny

OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY

Okay, gang! Let's review a few exciting details from the last episode of OOTWW, shall we?

Sweet Rosie is stranded on the desolate, uninhabited, lifeless planet of Phurnaphreeze...running low on provisions, oxygen, glirf (purple water), and without any means to communicate! 

Does she cry? NO! Does she whine? El no no? Does she complain? Nada!!

Then what does she do? She starts whistling a happy tune!

What a trooper!!

In the mean time, her "secret love," Gary (to stay in the movie musical vibe),

She sang this in Calamity Jane

is going out of his little alien mind, freakin' out, and hyper-ventilating over the fact that Rosie has not arrived on the planet of Gluten for the bi-centennial, Hungry Games!

Rosie was not able to disembark her personal spazeship (The Lady Mim), due to the deadly weather conditions that were a constant feature upon this uninhabited, miserable planet.

Soon she would be out of photon power, that keeps the temperature in the Lady Mim at a consistent 72 degrees, and without that power, she would instantly freeze to death or burn into a crispy critter, according to when the Purnaphreeze suns were shining on her side of the planet! Oh, my!!

Gary was NOT wasting any tom! He fired up the Silver Sausage (The Official Spazeship Of Gary and Yellow Rose) and began searching for his best friend, Kemosabe, fellow super-hero, and comrade! 

Gary began singing this classic song from the musical, Anything Goes...

Gary - ♪♪ It's friendship, friendship...just the perfect blendship...when other friendships have been forgot, ours will still be hot...lada lada lada, dig dig dig...♪♪

Rosie was not only beauteous, intelligent, strong and brave...she was resourceful...like MacGyver! 

She, ingeniously, took a bunch of broken wires, AAA batteries, a fingernail file, and an old transistor radio to make a simple communicator, that would possibly contact a spazeship passing nearby.

WILL THE COMMUNICATOR WORK?

WILL A SPAZESHIP FLY NEAR ENOUGH TO MAKE CONTACT WITH ROSIE?

WILL GARY GET HOPELESSLY LOST?

ARE THE HUNGRY GAMES DOOMED?

RETURN NEXT WEEK FOR THE EXCITING CONCLUSION OF THIS RIVETING TRUE STORY...FROM OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY!!!!!