OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY
Episode Three

Before we begin, brothers and sisters, I don't like begging, but I NEED more comments on my blog, to survive!!!

I know a lot of you are reading my blog every week, but if I don't receive more comments, I'll be banned from Blogger...FOREVER!! (not really)

That's the way it works! They don't want mediocre bloggers associated with their Blogger name, and they will delete my whole dang blog, that I've slaved over for a number of years, unless I get a significant number of comments! (not true)

Thank you, in advance, for your fantastic comments!!

As you may, or may not recall, Rosie and Gary are on their way to the planet of Sophomore, to retrieve the precious Golden Chicken Of Kluck, that was abducted from the Glirkazoids 222,000 spazeyears ago by the Sophomorusians!

The Golden Chicken Of Kluck is a chicken made of gold, that comes to life on just one day of the year, and lays platinum eggs, without stopping, for 24 parsecians! No yoke!!

Gary - "Rosie, as you know, we will need to enter another dimension to get to Sophomore, so prepare yourself!"

Rosie - "I know...I know. I so abhor inter-dimensional travel! It makes me sick, throws off my equilibrium, and messes up my hair!"

Gary - "What hair, Rosie? You don't have any hair! Ha ha ha!"

Rosie - "I do so, skeezix! ( skeezix is slang for total loser)It's just fine, like frog's hair!"

Gary is not paying attention to Rosie anymore, because he is making preparation for the delicate, complicated shift to inter-dimensional travel, where even the tiniest error can prove fatal to the highest degree!

Gary - "Set the IDTMSC, Rosie!"

Rosie - "The what?!"

Gary - "The IDTMSC! Inter Dimensional Travel Manipulator Spaze Contraption! 

Rosie - " Why didn't you say so in the first place, knucklehead?"

Gary - "That's CAPTAIN Knucklehead to you, Rosie! Now start the vortex, spinning wheely thingy that sucks us into the other dimension!"

Rosie - "Aye aye, Captain Knucklehead!"

The Silver Sausage begins to shake convulsively, and weird music begins playing, that sounds like this...

                               Weird music!

Gary - "Hold on to your tussie, Rosie! Here we go!!"

Rosie - "Hold on to my what?"

At that instant, our intrepid heroes are, unceremoniously, sucked into the whirling, swirling vortex, that will propel them into a whole nuther dimension!

In just a nano second, our super-duper heroes are flung into another dimension, where things are, shall we say...DIFFERENT.

Rosie - "Weerd, Gary, feel am I, me thniks,trhoing up gonna me.

Gary - "Dimenzion new, getting used to have soon.

Rosie stumbles around for a bit, due to a temporary loss of equilibrium, and then, unceremoniously, pukes. (Tell me if I already used the word, unceremoniously, I don't have tom to look back)

Rosie - "Oh, dear, is my hair messed up , Gary?"

Gary - "It's fine as frog's hair, split four ways, darlin'."

As our "tremendous two" begin the descent to the surreal looking planet of Sophomore, they speculate on what obstacles they may encounter during this exciting adventure to take back the Golden Chicken Of Kluck.

Rosie - "Gary...of course you know that the inhabitants of Sophomore are some of the most blood thirsty warriors in this dimension, and will fight to the death to keep the priceless Golden Chicken Of Kluck, don't you?"

Gary - "Say, WHAT?  I did not know that! Maybe we should abort the mission and not even land on...

At that, the Silver Sausage makes an unceremonious landing on the surface of Sophomore! (Deja Vu all over again)

Not an actual picture of the Silver Sausage

Spazeballs! 

Will Rosie and Gary be able to bring back the fantastic Golden Chicken Of Kluck?

Are there any tow trucks on Sophomore to pull the Silver Sausage out of the ground?

Join us next week for the cosmic, far out, OUT OF THIS WORLD adventures of Rosie and Gary!

Please, don't forget to comment about this blog, for the sake of humanity and aliens alike!!! 

OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY

Episode Two

Golden Chicken of Kluck

I hope you all read episode one, because I do not have the time or money to review EVERYTHING from that episode! However, here is a brief excerpt to keep you in the time continuum...

"Our mission, if we decide to accept it, is to travel to the farthest reaches of Wilbur, and bring back the Golden Chicken of Kluck, which the Sophomorusians swiped from the Glirkazoid Museum Of Chicken Shaped Artifacts, 222,000 spazeyears ago!"

If none of this makes sense to you, just go back to episode one! It probably won't help, but at least I'll get more views on my blog! And isn't that what it's all about?

As Rosie and Gary make their way across Wilbur (AKA the Grand Universe) they see an image of Garry Shandling, floating gently through the starry vastness. (Just a brief tribute to the dude)

Rosie - "So let me get this straight. We are traveling clear across Wilbur, to the planet of Sophomore, to retrieve a chicken?"

Sophomore

Gary - "This is not merely a chicken, my little chickadee! The Golden Chicken of Kluck is the most valuable artifact ever ensconced in the Museum of Chicken Shaped Artifacts in the whole dang history of our planet!"

Not the actual Museum of Chicken Shaped Artifacts

Rosie - "What's the big deal? Who cares if it's worth a few bucks? Get it, Gary? A few BUCKS!!"

Gary - "You're not taking this seriously, my foolish friend! This mission is greater than you think!"

Rosie - "Well, this mission doesn't sound very EGG-citing, if you ask me!"

Gary - "Stop with the yokes...I mean JOKES...now you've got me doing it!!"

Rosie - "Oh, don't get your feathers ruffled, Foghorn Leghorn!"

Gary - "Cut it out, Rosie, and let me explain the real significance of the Golden Chicken of Kluck, woudja?"

Rosie - "Okay, okay! Go ahead and beak...I mean, speak."

Gary - "Anyway...when our planet of Glirka had possession of the Golden Chicken, every year, at the first new moon after the spring equinox, about 3:37 in the afternoon, the Golden Chicken of Kluck would come to life...














Rosie - "And lay golden eggs, right! Am I right? It laid golden eggs, didn't it?!

Gary - "Wrongo! You jumper to conclusioner! Now let ME tell the story!"

Rosie - "Gourd head...I mean go ahead, spazeboy!"

Gary - "The Golden Chicken of Kluck would come to life, and, and (building suspense), and...lay PLATINUM eggs!!!"

Rosie - "Oh, good grief, Gary! Whats the difference between gold and platinum?"

Gary - "About 300 bucks, but that's not the point! For 24 parsecians (24 earth hours) the Golden Chicken of Kluck would lay platinum eggs continuously, without stopping! This, of course, would finance the whole planet of Glirka for the entire year!"

Rosie - "Wow, Gary! So, now the Sophomorusians are getting all the platinum eggs! Those dirty poachers! Ha ha! Get it? Eggs...poached...poachers!

Gary - "I can see you're still not taking this seriously, Rosie."

Rosie - "Sure I am, BUCK Rogers, I'm willing to brave this mission! I ain't CHICKEN!!!" 

Gary - "Oh, good grief!!"

We hope you're not too chicken to join us next week for the amazing adventures of Rosie and Gary, in...

OUT

OF

THIS 

WORLD

WEDNESDAY...WEDNESDAY...

WEDNESDAY...WEDNESDAY...

OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY

EPISODE ONE

We cannot even remotely dream of the ways our super legendary, um, legends, Rosie and Gary, tool around their universe, and all the OTHER universes that float aimlessly in the middle of the "grand universe," that is nicknamed, Wilbur! 

Wilbur

Our beloved spazetronauts will go to the distant reaches of Wilbur, using a sophisticated warp drive system that propels the Silver Sausage at mega-light speeds...which is faster than a fat man going to Golden Corral Buffet!!

In addition, they utilize time travel, which Rosie calls tom travel, due to her cute accent... inter-dimensional travel, which means traveling to different, diverse, disorganized dimensions...solar sailing, with golden wings, powered by the sun, kind of like Daedalus and Icarus, with better results! (You remember what happened to Icarus, don't you?) 

They can also travel by mind bicycle, which uses the power of the mind to create an energy packed, virtual spaze  bicycle, that can be utilized in the case of extreme emergency, where freakin' fear provides the stimulus to make it actually work!

What's the point of all this, you axe so National Enquirerly?

The point is that anytime you see what you perceive to be a mistake about dates, ages, epochs, millenniums...you know... like when I say something was a billion years ago, but in the next episode it was a TRILLION years ago...it's just the fact that Gary and Rosie are always changing from one time to another, or one dimension to another, and everything is in constant flux!

It is NOT that the writer of this blog is so old and forgetful, he can't remember what he wrote last week, let alone a year or more ago!!

Now, where was I?

Don't tell me, it was only 30 seconds ago!! 

Oh, well. How have you been doing? 

Hey, Big Gaz! I absolutely loved your last Bogan News! The chickens and cows blowing up are AWESOME!! 

Rhymesauce, hows about this for the subject matter of a rhyme...Toilets, commodes, eternally slandered, Eljer, Kohler, and American Standard!!

Dear Mim, did you get your new computer yet? I hope so! Of course, how can you answer me if...

Wait a minute, I REMEMBER WHERE I WAS AT NOW!!!

Cool! I was just about to begin Episode One in the latest OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY series!!

My reality fades in and out, like the sound of an A.M. radio, in a car, whilst driving up and down the Ozark mountains! 

The Silver Sausage spazeship was in perfect condition! 

All of the newest, state-of-the-art, shiny gadgets, and Glirkazoidian whatchamacallits of high tech scientifical advancements was incorporated into the ship's infrastructure. 

Gary - "Gee willikers, Rosie! The Silver Sausage has the WORKS!"

Rosie - "Indeed it do, Gary!
"New, sophisticated weapons systems...communication devices that wll allow us to talk with ANY life form...a billion toms faster warp speed...easier tom travel, inter dimensional travel, solar sailing, and mind bicycling!!!"

Solar Sailor 

Gary - "What are you talking about? By the WORKS, I meant the new pin ball machine and COFFEE MACHINE in one! Oh, baby, that's what I'm talkin' about!!!"

Rosie - "I should have known, "skeezix!"

Gary - "Rosie, I'm getting a text message on my flip phone, from the ancient, High Glirkheads!" (He is so excited he stumbles across the whole deck, running for his seldom used flip phone!)

Rosie - " The High Glirkheads may be the wisest, all knowingest, prophet-like dudes on our planet, but high tech, they are NOT! 


Gary - (On the phone) "Uh-huh. You don't say! You don't say!! Yeah. You DON'T SAY!!!" (He flips the flip phone closed)

Rosie - "What is our new mission, bojangles?" (The Bojangles was in reference to his little "dance" he did across the deck)

Gary - "They didn't say! Haha! Just funnin' wit ya, Rosie!! 
"Our mission, if we decide to accept it, is to travel to the farthest reaches of Wilbur, and bring back the Golden Chicken of Kluck, which the Sophomorusians swiped from the Glirkazoid Museum Of Chicken Shaped Artifacts, 222,000 spazeyears ago!"

Rosie - "What do you mean, "if we decide to accept it." We have no choice! It's do it, or get totally emulsificated by the Supreme High Glirkheads!" 

Wowie zowie!! What an amazingly cool and bizarre beginning, to what will prove to be one of the GREATEST adventures of all adventures, of ANY adventurers, super heroes, or even SUPERMAN kind of characters of all tom!!!!

Join us next week for Episode Two of OUT OF THIS WORLD 
WEDNESDAY...if ya got the guts!!!