WHY MY BLOG WILL SOON HAVE ONE MILLION READERS...MAYBE.

I have been racking my bi-polarized brain to find the secret of corralling (a cowboy term) a million, or so, readers to follow my ridiculously stupid blog, and I think I've found the vehicle! (No, not a 57 Chevy)

YouTube! Yes, good ole YouTube, to popularize my blog! 

What a genius idea, he declares in a braggadocious,Trumpian sort of way!

Using a videographic medium to promote a product that you have to read is so "out of the box" that it's spilling out on to the carpet and running into the kitchen!

Don't you get it? It is a delightful reminder that keeps looping, over and over again! 

If you see the blog first, you'll be sucked in to watch the YouTube video, and if you see the YouTube video first, you'll be lured in to clicking on the link to my blog! 

Aha, ha, ha, haaaa! What a sly, evil (better not use evil in a family blog), brilliant, marketing ploy to misdirect folks to my mostly mediocre blog! 

So....without further ado....here is the YouTube video that NONE of you have been waiting for...

From My First MRI To The Grinch

I had my first MRI yesterday...and now I know where they get all the sound effects for the Star Wars movies. 

My theory may be wrong, but what's new?

I also discovered where alternative, art punk, grunge, and experimental rock groups get their sounds.

     It all started here...with Dreamweaver!

I wasn't hip to the melody, but I loved the beat, man! 

The MRI Tech asked me what I thought about the experience, and I told her I'd gone on psychedelic trips ten times worse, as a child of the sixties.

She didn't even crack a smile.

Watch this to experience what I'm rambling about.

My lovely wife and I took our granddaughter, Brooklin, to see The Grinch, after my rockin' MRI. 

With sci-fi sounds still ringing in my ears, we watched a delightful version of How The Grinch Stole Christmas, which was re-named The Grinch for legal reasons, I suspect, as well as the flick being WAY  different than the original version.

THEY, whoever THEY may be, made Mr. Grinch more vulnerable and provided a sympathetic background story that helped us to understand his bitterness about Christmas. 

I was surprised when I saw the credits and learned that Benedict Cumberbatch did the voice of the Grinch. 

Benedict Cumberbatch has such a wonderful, deep British accent that would have worked great, but he wanted the Grinch to sound American, and he pulled it off swimmingly! (Just thought I'd throw in a British expression)

                   Ben explains it all here.                

We thoroughly enjoyed The Grinch, especially Max and Fred!

So in conclusion, I want all of you readers, who are still with us, to reflect on the massive amount of ability and skill it took for somebody to create an MRI machine, that makes all those out of this world sounds, while making you feel like you're in a space capsule, heading for some unknown, other-dimensional universe, as the Grinch steals Christmas and returns it to Whoville in a very timely manner. 

Just a side note. Thank God and the Vet., Dr. Johnson, for healing our dog, Chevy, who was very sick, and would not eat or drink, but is now back to his old, ornery self!

   Every time I saw Max, he reminded me of Chevy.      

Today Was Like I Love Lucy

Remember the "I Love Lucy" show that was so popular back in the 1950's?  Sure you do! 

If you don't remember it "first hand" then I'm POSITIVE you've seen the re-runs! 

Anyway, we all know how Lucy wants to break into "show biz" and will do ANYTHING to make that happen, right?

Well, it so happens that that's the story of MY life, as well. (that that's?..is that the King's English?)

From being in school musicals, to church pageants, or joining rock bands, going to Nashville, or even writing books, I've wanted to be part of the entertainment world!

SHOWBIZ!!!

Today I found the perfect opportunity to worm my way on to Peoria's famous radio show...THE GREG AND DAN SHOW...and be a part of what, gang?

SHOWBIZ!!!

That's the ticket!!

So here is the scenario, with a bit of irony, unexpected circumstances, dumb luck, and deft manipulation thrown in. 

Donna had won tickets for the Kenny G. concert  and sent me to pick them up.

Guess where? 

You got it! On the 12th floor of the building where Greg and Dan do their fabulous show from the...guess where? You got it again! The 12th floor! (I forgot the name of the building, but it's in downtown Peoria) No matter.

Now here is the  Twilight Zone part. Cue Twilight Zone music, please.

On my way to the Gary Uftring Studio, where the Greg and Dan Show is broadcast to tens of thousands of rabid listeners, they announce that Charley Steiner, the world famous broadcaster, is stuck in traffic and probably wouldn't make it to the studio on time for his interview! 

Charles Harris Steiner (born July 17, 1949) is an American sportscaster and broadcast journalist. He is currently the radio play-by-play announcer for the Major League Baseball's Los Angeles Dodgers, paired with Rick Monday.

Here was MY big chance! I WAS going to get to the station on time, announce that I would fill in for old Charley, and Greg and Dan would be thrilled to death that their olde friend "Danny Boy" was here to save the day!!

I am far from being a sports expert, but I could "wing it" like I always do when they have me on...and it really doesn't matter, because GREG AND DAN "wing it" every day themselves!

As I parked the car at the parking meter...guess what happened? 

No! You're wrong this time! I actually had change for the meter! Another strange oddity! 

When I entered the lobby of the unnamed building, one elevator car was broke down and I started to wonder if ANY of the cars were working. As I heard another elevator car come down, it was squeaking like a banshee in a bear trap and I prayed I'd make it to the 12th floor before the show was over! 

Guess what? (Long pause)..........................................

I made it to the top! Excelsior!! To steal a phrase from The Geek Show and Stan Lee.

At this moment in time I am REALLY psyched! 

EVERYTHING has come together perfectly for me to appear on my favorite radio show, and be in SHOWBIZ  once again!!

At that precise moment I see the talented and lovely, Dan Diorio, walk out from the secret studio area for coffee, I believe, and I cry out, "Dan, do you guys need me to fill in for Charley Steiner?" (I was certain they did, because just a few seconds ago, Greg mentioned he was STILL snarled in traffic!)

With all of my lifelong hopes and dreams on the line, I heard Dan say, "No, it's okay, we've got Charley on the phone."

Hey...folks...I'm okay..sniff...that's showbiz for ya...sniff...no tears for me, you betcha...

      I'm really fine! No need to cry about it.

Gee Willikers! Short Blog Today! 

I've been having some problems with the technical part of my blog today, and I've, basically, run out of time to write this for YOU, my adoring readers! Or should I say adorable readers! Awww!

Maybe too young for my dysfunctinal blog, right?

I think I've finally made the precise adjustments and calculations to launch my worms, I mean WORDS, on to the unsuspecting public, who are absolutely NOT on the same level as my consistent, devoted, unstable readers, that are so adorable I can hardly stand it!

Wrong GIF...SORRY! This was supposed to be adorable, unstable readers!

Anywho, my next blog posting will be much longer, and may even make some sense...yeah...NON-sense!

I had to post SOMETHING today, because I knew you guys were just itchin' for some levity, in the face of wildfires, wandering immigrants, woes from wote fraud, VOTE fraud, and the passing of Stan Lee. 

So, until next time, arrivederci, Au revoir, auf wiedersehen, after while, crocodile, not too soon, you big baboon, adiós, and Feliz Navidad!

45, 085 Have Viewed My Blog

Don't Believe Me? Check It Out!

Simply scroll down the left side of the page to a place that says TOTAL PAGE VIEWS and voi·​là...you'll see 45, o85!

Sample size.

Probably MORE by now, but, as you know, I'm not one to brag (unlike some historical figures), even though my blog is entitled braggadocious...I mean, Bloggadocious.

Here is an important point to remember, folks! It does NOT say my blog is viewed by humans alone, does it? If you take into account dogs and cats, sitting on laps (hey, that almost rhymes), A.I. robots, dust mites, and extra-terrestrials, it makes all the sense in the whirl that I have so many pageviews!

Does this make you dizzy? It does me!

My nagging problem, besides my aching back, is this question.

If we can conclude that there are SOME humans reading my blog...let's estimate it at 2,222, WHY don't they write me?

You don't call, you don't Email, come knocking on my door, send a telegram, or NOTHING honey!

That's okay. I understand, completely. If I were an avid reader of a blog who's writer was plagued with MAJOR mental instabilities, I would be very leery about having ANY  contact on ANY level! 

Although, I do my very best to stay non-political, I just want to say that Nov. 6 is Tuesday! Or Tuesday is November 6th! Vote in the direction of your conscience, your heart, your educated guess, your cousin Eddie...Oh, I don't know...just vote for Trump...or Obama...or Hillary... and if them guys ain't runnin'...vote for ME!

ROCK AND ROLL REMINISCING

The first rock and roll song I remember is "Hound Dog", by Elvis Pretzel.  I was 6 years old.

I'm sure there were other rock and roll songs on the radio before 1956, but the first I remember is ....

🎶"You ain't nuthin' but a hound dogga, cryin' all the time"🎶...

The 3 reasons I liked the song are...

1. Elvis had a cool voice.

2. The song REALLY ROCKED!

3. I felt sorry for the poor dog, who was rejected, and un-friended, just because he was too slow to catch a speedy rabbit. 

C'mon! Give the old dog a break! 

"Rock Around The Clock", "Shake Rattle And Roll", and even "Tutti Frutti" came before "Hound Dog", but they must have not impressed me much, because the very FIRST rock-n-roll song that stuck in my little brain was "Hound Dog". (Am I becoming redundant about this "Hound Dog" thing?)

Moving on in history, I liked the Beach Boy scene. (a little California lingo for ya).  Groovy harmony, that made me want to surf, even though I lived in St. Louis, which had no surf, unless you count the gentle barge waves slapping up against the banks of the muddy Mississippi River. 

The Beatles don't count in my personal rock and roll history, because their rock and roll sounded quite different to me. More like a bloody bit-o-bloomin' skiffle, govner! 

Don't get me wrong. I LOVED the Fab Four, but I do not consider them pure rockin' rollers, like, uh, maybe...The Monkeys. Just kidding folks! How much of a dweeb do you think I am?

This much⬆

I dug Grand Funk Railroad, Mountain, the J. Geils Band, Edgar Winter, Black Sabbath...I mean, I literally dug these albums out of the dumpster behind Jerry Teeman's house, where his parents threw them away for being too "worldly"! 

Okay, Mr. and Mrs. Teeman weren't totally wrong.

After that STRANGE period in my life, I didn't listen to much rock and roll, until NOW!

At age 68 I'm in to grunge, post grunge, garage, post-punk revival, digital electric, rap rock, nu metal, post garage- nu metal - alternative - indie

- digital nuclear AND ....you guys know me better than that! Ha! Lawrence Welk is more my style, as long as they don't play the polkas too fast! 

See ya later! From an old rocker!!!