Is Your Dog Cryin' All The Time?

It's probably the coldest day of  winter, so far, in central Illinois, U.S.A. I'm not even gonna tell ya how cold it is, because I don't want anyone to feel bad, or think I'm complaining on this bitterly frigid Monday morn. Brrrrr!!

My blog is designed and crafted to be uplifting, joyful and so strange that it takes your collective minds off of the worries and cares of the day.

Our dog does not understand the concept of below zero wind chills, so he is CONSTANTLY begging us to take him on his customary walks . We try to give him a brief encounter with the frozen elephants 
elements outside the back door, but he will either not go out the door, or go down the back steps, turn around, and come right back inside. 

When we think he gets the point and realizes he needs to go potty on his potty pads, strategically placed inside the house, he begins to bug us again about going for a walk in arctic conditions! 

Now, this bugging starts about 5 minutes after we've shown him how unbearably cold it is outside! 

It's almost like he thinks WE can change the weather for him, or that the weather changes every 5 minutes, from Antarctica to Aruba in 5 minutes!

I guess I could try to drag him out for a little bitty walk, but I KNOW what would happen.

Even if we were only out for 30 seconds, someone would take of video of me dragging Chevy (my dog) out across the frozen tundra, and P.E.T.A., the A.S.P.C.A., my immediate family, my church family, the local T.V. news, all of my neighbors and Simon Cowell...ESPECIALLY...Simon Cowell would be on me like a drill sergeant on a new recruit! 

Another pathetic kind of thing is how the ice and snow freeze his poor little feet paws after a few seconds, and he will lift one paw, then put it down to lift another paw, and so forth until I pick him up and take him back inside the warm, cozy house. 

"Why not, doggie booties?" Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! You asked a very funny question! "Why not doggie booties?" Hee, hee, har, har, har!!!

I don't know about your dog, but CHEVY makes "minced meat" out of doggie booties! He rips them to tiny little pieces with his little sharp teeth, as if they were tissue paper! Yes, even the tough leather doggie booties! 

Anyway, all the prevailing dog protection folks would still kill us (figuratively speaking) for taking Chevy out into the "white death" of winter, at sub zero temps, even for a few nano seconds! 

Fortunately, "THEY" are predicting decent temps for tomorrow, and Chevy can take his customary walks, every 2 hours, as usual. What a happy pup he'll be!

As for now, we will have to put up with his cryin' all the time...

A Few Tips On Living Forever, Or Even Longer!

Body and mind need to be at peak condition to endure the slings and arrows that life slings and shoots at us, relentlessly, in 10,000 little ways on every single little day! 







It is imperative (of vital importance, crucial) that we partake of the healthiest fruits and veggies, exercise, and fill our beleaguered (under pressure) brains with an abundance of knowledge (that may lead to wisdom) to withstand the onslaughts of the evil hordes that plot against us while we are not looking. 

Mongul hordes

Paranoid, I am not. Who said I was paranoid? I'm not paranoid at all! I'm only trying to say that we need to shield ourselves from the dark, depressing, debilitating disasters that will definitely destroy our delightful dispositions. 

Kale is something that mankind/womankind absolutely needs to strengthen the core fibers of our being, to fight off the ravaging super-diseases that are, at this very minute, permeating the cerebral cortex of our brains with flesh eating bacteria.

Too bad that kale tastes all dry, bitter and tough, and makes us choke like a dog on a chicken bone.

 Our delicate, fragile minds are constantly bombarded with incessant political poison, nastiness, violence, hatred, and hypocrisy that spews out from our television set, smart phone, computer, radio, View Master, and Victrola.

We can stop this mass brainwashing from those malicious hordes of devices by turning them off and reading the classic literature of America.

For example...

1. Mad Magazine

2. Peanuts

3. The Far Side books

4. Chickens Butts And Coconuts by me.

5. Hitchin'...God's Way Of Letting You Know You Don't Have A Car by me.

6. Bloggadocious 222 by me.

7. Dr. Seuss books

8. Calvin And Hobbes 

9. Erma Bombeck books.

10. Little Golden books.

After reading all of this wonderful literature, your corrupted little minds will become pure and fresh as the driven snow on a pristine mountain top in the Rockies, where they make Coors beer! 

Exercise may be the most important thing we need to do to reverse the curse of aging.

According to the commercials, and my calculations, a combination of regeneration creams, multi vitamins, Ageless Male products, bottled water from secret Rocky Mountain springs (probably tap water), Texas Super Food, jellyfish gel for the brain, Bowflex machines and yogurt will keep us from growing old and dying!

At least, that's the way I understand it, which doesn't really matter, because I ain't doin' any of that stuff, anyway!

Don't let my cavalier attitude dissuade you from taking care of yourselves, folks. I just have my own way of living forever.

Be Like Betty!

Betty White Is 97 today? Wow! She was born in 1922? DOUBLE WOW!! 

Just think of all she has seen in her lifetime. She missed WW 1, but experienced most everything else in the 20th and beginning of the 21st century....and STILL...here is the important part...STILL, has a sense of humor! (humour, for you readers across the pond)

Now, I could go in to all the thousands of times I have enjoyed watching Betty White on T.V., but I'm sure we ALL share the same story. Betty is even a cult figure among millennials, because she has spunk, like Mary Tyler Moore had. 

Although I used Betty White to slyly lure you to my blog, the REAL point of this is all about YOU and ME.

WE need to keep our senses of humors (humours for you British types) to make life fun in our "bucket" years, instead of a living Hades! 

Hades was the god of the underworld and the name eventually came to also describe the home of the dead as well. He was the oldest male child of Cronus and Rhea. Hades and his brothers Zeus and Poseidon defeated their father and the Titans to end their reign, claiming rulership over the cosmos.

Sidebar...What ever happened to Gary Larson, the guy who created The Far Side cartoon? He was a total comedy genius!

Where was I? Oh, yeah. Our lives would be purgatory without a laugh or two every day.

To go back to Betty for a minute, I like her for another reason. I'm 68 years old and she makes me feel young! She's almost 30 years older than me, still entertaining folks, and still smiling! 

That means that there is a good possibility that you guys will be reading my lighthearted blog for 3o more years!

Okay, who said that would be like a living Hades? 

Ha, ha! I know, I know you're just pulling my leg. 

Right?

Anyway, life is WAY to short to be frowning and scowling (scowling is pretty much the same as frowning) all the time, when we are just bringing our family and friends down to the "pit of despair."

Have you ever noticed how some people are incessantly complaining about their illnesses and problems on Facebook, like they are the ONLY ones who suffer from illnesses and problems? 

We All suffer illnesses and problems, but the cool ones, like Betty White, refuse to bring everybody down with depressing stuff that no one can do anything about, anyway. 

Do you think Betty White, at 97, feels wonderful every day? Heck no! Does she share her aches and pains with the world every day? Heck no! 

Betty White is such a positive example of how making OTHERS happy can make US happy!

In conclusion...

Trust Me, You're Gonna LOL This Time

My goal, today, is to take you on a brief, uninterrupted trip to the link at the bottom of the page. 

It has to do with commercials, or ads, as some like to call them.

I am a strange individual (but you knew that) who enjoys watching commercials as much as the regularly scheduled programs and movies on T.V. 

Not that I love ALL ads, there are some I love and others I really, really love to despise. 

They can all be fun, if you have a sense of humor.

Humour? This must be from the U.K.

Before I go too far, the whole direction of this blog is toward the very, very funny link at the bottom, so please click on it, after these interruptions thoughts, which are not intended to be interruptions at all. 

Interupting cheese.

The My Pillow guy totally drives me up a wall, but it's fun to cover my ears, close my eyes and say, "la, la, la, la, la," while he is on. 

On the other hand, I love the Progressive commercials with Flo, Jamie and the childlike girl.

I also get a kick out of the ad with the announcer guy who takes folks on a test drive and does his cool, movie trailer voice!

Keep this in mind, my friends....this whole entire blog is to get you focused on the special link at the bottom of the blog, that you will find is WELL worth waiting for! 

In true transparency, the "mayhem" man scares me, but it's "all good," because it gets my old heart pumping from fear, and takes care of my cardio exercise requirements. 

Before I forget to ask, what are your favorite commercials, hmmm? 

What ads do you despise?

Do you even watch them at all?

Let me know your opinions in the comments section below, okay? I would REALLY like to know how strange you guys are. I promise not to use your comments to blackmail you in the future. I'm not working for the Russians, like President Trump never did. 

I'm sure you would all agree that the funniest commercials are the local, low budget, amateur, homespun ads that leave us rolling on the floor laughing.

Well, you ain't seen nothin' yet! 

The afore mentioned link below will make you LOL! If it don't make you LOL, I'll be quite surprised, by golly! So, go on ahead and watch this Compilation Of Cringe Worthy Commercials, that I serendipitously discovered on YouTube! 

ser·en·dip·i·tous

/ˌserənˈdipədəs/

adjective

1. 
   

   occurring or discovered by chance in a happy or beneficial way.
2. 
   
3. Are you READY? One, two, three, three and a half...click the FUNNY link!!! 
   

   
   

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FNDCcfI0eVs&t=5s