Back On The Greg And Dan Show Tomorrow!!

It's not like this is my first time on the Greg and Dan radio show, but it's ALWAYS super exciting to reach, probably, millions of folks over the airwaves!

You'll need to get up very early in the morning to tune me in, if you live in America. 

Hey! Where's Alaska and Hawaii?

They will be broadcasting my classic style humor between 6:00 and 6:30 AM CST.

Now, if you live in California, like Kiel, it will be between 4:00 and 4:30 AM, which is ridiculously early!!

Then again, if you live in Australia, like Rebecca, it will be...uh...you can figure that out for yourself! I think it will be the next day, so you'll probably miss it, Bec! Sorry!

Here is the important part! The magic link, that allows you to listen from any point in the world...

https://www.1470wmbd.com/

Link above ⬆

OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY...

The "Beaming" Begins!

Gary - "I found the beamer, Rosie! It was under this old Qualarian quilt that the Qualarian citizens made for us, after we rescued the Qualarian Queen's daughter from the quicksand!"

Rosie - "Yes, I remember. It was like a quid-pro-quo for our quick, quarter of a qwerk action, that filled them with quizzical wonder!"

qwerk: A Glirkazoid unit of time, that is 100 times faster than a zilkalon.

Gary - "This is awesome sauce, Rosie! Now we can beam ourselves across the Sea Of Megadeth, to the Isle of the Deaf Dragon!!"

Rosie - "Yes! But let me set up the radiofractive mirror first, so we can beam ourselves, AND the beamer contraption with us."

Gary - "I hope this works!!"

Rosie - "Have we ever tried anything that DIDN'T work? Don't answer that!!"

The stage is set for our great Glirkazoid groundbreakers to go and save the Princess Of Pyrotussin, after they defeat the Deaf Dragon and climb the Stairway To Havens!

We see the silhouettes of Rosie...Gary...the beamer contraption...the radiofractive mirror... and the broken Silver Sausage spazeship...in the moonlight of Glirka. (Glirka is Gary and Rosie's home planet)

Rosie - "Prepare to beam!"

Gary - "Prepared, Vice Admiral, Rosie!"

Rosie - "Beaming sequencer initiated!!"

Gary - "NO! Wait!!"

Rosie - "I CAN'T wait, Gary!! The beaming sequencer has already been initiated!!"

Gary - "But I forgot to employ my A.M.A.D.!! (anti-messy, adult diaper)

Rosie - "You idiot!! We MUST be able to stop the countdown somehow!!!"

At that instant, the beaming begins!! 

This is only a reasonable facsimile of beaming.

Oh, my! Will the transportation be successful?

Will EVERYTHING be beamed to the Isle Of The Deaf Dragon, intact?! 

Will Rosie and Gary be dropped into the Sea Of Megadeth?!

Worst of all, will our super heroes be plunged into the Dark Dimension ... FOREVER!!!

Join us for more fun and frivolity, next Wednesday, for another exciting episode of... 

OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY!!!

Your Favorite "Scrooge" Movie

My favorite Christmas movie is the 1938 classic, "A Christmas Carol." Filmed in black and white, because that's the way it was in 1938! 

How can it miss, with stars like Reginald Owen, Gene Lockhart, and Leo G. Carroll!

I know that many of you prefer Alastair Sim as Scrooge, and I don't disagree, but when I consider how this 1938 version makes me feel, Christmassy-wise, and the overall heartwarmingness that overwhelms me as I watch this gem, I have to pick the 1938 classic!

Which version do you like best? There are lots of 'em...

A

• An All Dogs Christmas Carol
• An American Carol
• An American Christmas Carol

B

• Bah, Humduck! A Looney Tunes Christmas
• Bugs Bunny's Christmas Carol

C

• A Carol Christmas
• A Carol for Another Christmas
• Chasing Christmas
• A Christmas Carol (1908 film)
• A Christmas Carol (1910 film)
• A Christmas Carol (1938 film)
• A Christmas Carol (1951 film)
• A Christmas Carol (1960 film)
• A Christmas Carol (1982 film)
• A Christmas Carol (1984 film)
• A Christmas Carol (1997 film)
• A Christmas Carol (1999 film)
• A Christmas Carol (2000 film)
• A Christmas Carol (2004 film)
• A Christmas Carol (2006 film)
• A Christmas Carol (2009 film)
• A Christmas Carol (TV special)
• Christmas Carol: The Movie
• Christmas Cupid

D

• A Dennis the Menace Christmas
• A Diva's Christmas Carol

E

• Ebbie
• Ebenezer (film)

F

• A Flintstones Christmas Carol

G

• Ghosts of Girlfriends Past

I

• It's Christmas, Carol!
• It's Never Too Late (1953 film)

J

• John Grin's Christmas

K

• Karroll's Christmas

M

• Mickey's Christmas Carol
• Mister Magoo's Christmas Carol
• Ms. Scrooge
• The Muppet Christmas Carol

R

• The Right to Be Happy

S

• Scrooge (1913 film)
• Scrooge (1935 film)
• Scrooge (1951 film)
• Scrooge (1970 film)
• Scrooge & Marley (2012 film)
• Scrooge, or, Marley's Ghost
• Scrooged
• The Smurfs: A Christmas Carol
• Springtime with Roo
• The Stingiest Man in Town

I was not exaggerating, for once, was I?

It's the transformation of Scrooge that makes me love "A Christmas Carol" adaptations so much, how's about you?

I have to admit that Alastair Sim was brilliant in the role in 1951 ⬆️

Don't we all have someone in our history who we would have loved to see transformed from mean and crabby, to happy, generous and loving? Maybe even folks in the present, who could use a big attitude makeover!

Hey! Leave me out of this! 

You never know. Christmas miracles happen all the time, according to Hallmark movies. 

Leave your favorite "A Christmas Carol" type movie in the comments section below.

This could be the beginning of someone's transformation!

God bless us,  everyone!! 

Unofficial Christmas Tree Rules 

I put up the Christmas tree yesterday. Well, ALMOST. I still have about 100 ornaments to put on, but the tree looks loaded already!

This is a 2017 photo, to give you an idea what our tree MAY look like soon.

There are so many important rules to remember when decorating the sacred Christmas tree. (We're not even gonna talk about real or fake tree! Too touchy of a subject)

We must start with the cockadoodie lights. The cockadoodie lights are always balled up in a twisted mess! (unless you're one of those weirdos who wraps them carefully around a high tech light holder)













After two hours of wrestling with the cockadoodie lights, we begin to wrap the tree, trying to hold a big strand of lights in one hand (so we don't step on them), and use the other hand to carefully arrange the lights at a perfect distance from one another, so we don't have too many lights at the top, and too few lights at the bottom. (A little tip. Check the lights to see if they're working BEFORE you wrap them around the tree.) I'm not sayin' I ever made this mistake, like, yesterday, but just sayin'.

We will not be discussing the color, shape and size of the cockadoodie Christmas lights. Too controversial!

Enough with the cockadoodie lights! 

Next, we need to put on the gold and silver shiny beads, that hang upon the tree in big loopy rows, like below↓

Okay! These aren't gold and silver, but you get the point.

Holiday hint: Unless your tree is in the middle of the room, you do not need to put all this stuff around back, where no one will see it. You're welcome!

After these first baby steps, we need to start at the top of the tree, but NOT with the angel or star!! (Angel or star is another debate we're not getting in to) The angel or star goes on LAST! Don't you watch Hallmark movies?

Moving along, we take the tiniest little ornaments and hang them at the top. (unlike photo above) Don't worry about the part of the tree against the wall, too much...unless you have a creepy cousin that looks for Christmas tree errors. 

Then, as we move down the tree, the ornaments grow bigger and bigger (they don't actually grow, but you choose bigger ornaments), until our largest, humongous ornaments are at the very bottom. 

If you are like me, and I know you are if you read this blog, it takes a LONG time to do the ornaments, because I'm sentimental about each one, and Donna and I reminisce over them all.

This is not Donna and me, but an image to show a couple reminiscing. 

The kids and grand kids ornaments, past and present doggie ornaments, hand me down ornaments from grandparents and other loved ones, ornaments purchased on vacation, home made ornaments, funny ornaments, the pickle ornament and each one has it's own story.

Speaking of stories...who wants to share your, personal tree tips, ornament stories, opinions on real or fake trees, bubble lights, whatever? 

That reminds me! I need to put more ornaments on the tree! 

Out Of This World Wednesday...

Beam Me Up, Gary!

Pretty Princess Of Pyrotussin

Our great Glirkazoid galoots are in a fix! Gary has accidentally disabled the entire Silver Sausage spazeship, and they need to get on the road, I mean, spazeway, before the Pretty Princess Of Pyrotussin is totally enslaved by the Monster Of Malevalentay FOREVER!!! 
















You may think that being enslaved by the Monster Of Malevalentay is not so bad, but you may be thinking wrong!! 

Her daily duties would entail, washing his filthy tail, brushing his yellow fangs, clipping his rock hard toenails, sharpening the horns on his hideous head, fishing out his belly button lint, and things that we cannot even mention in polite company!!

Polite company ↑

Rosie - "Oh, Gary! How will we be able to save the Pretty Princess Of Pyrotussin from all the horrible things the narrator described, above?!"

Gary - "What narrator? Are you losing your proverbial marbles, Rosie?!"

Rosie - "You didn't hear a narrator with a deep voice explaining things about the Silver Sausage being kaput, The Pretty Princess Of Pyrotussin being enslaved, and the nasty, dirty, duties she would be forced to perform?"

Gary - "No."

Rosie - "I didn't either! Sooooo, how are we gonna travel to Pyrotussin to save the Pretty Princess Of Pyrotussin, who ALLEGEDLY has been kidnapped by SOMEONE, and MAY need rescued?"

At this juncture (if there is a juncture), the awesome, powerful soothsayer, Rhymesauce appears out of nowhere!!

Rhymesauce - "The Silver Sausage dilapidated,

             But spazeships are overrated, 

They are all mechanical,

I don't want to sound tyrannical,

But beaming places is so sweet,

With your atoms flying down the street,

To travel far and see your cousin,

Or even zoom to Pyrotussin.

Then, as instantly as Rhymesauce appears, he swooshes away like the down of a thistle! 

Gary - "Rhymesauce provided the answer for us, Rosie! In addition, he explained the "down of a thistle" thing! This is so serendipitous!!

• 
  

• Rosie - "I have no idea what you're talking about, Gary! We haven't seen Rhymesauce in 100 tepitens, and I still don't know the meaning of "the down of a thistle!"

Ancient Tepiten Clock ↟

Gary - "Buh, buh but, Rhymesauce was standing, I mean FLOATING right here in front of us, and he displayed the explanation of "down of a thistle" on the side of the broken down Silver Sausage!!"

Rosie - "What did he say?" 

Gary - "He told us we should use the "beamer" system to transport ourselves to Pyrotussin, like the Star Trek folks used!"

Rosie - "He DID? Ha ha ha!! I'm just pullin' your antenna, Gary! I saw him!!"

Gary - "Glirkagals!! You can't live with 'em and you can't live without 'em!!  Remember, paybacks are warranted, under the Galactic Spaze Code, section 8675-article ZZTop/subsection 1!!"

Rosie - "Whatever. Do you remember where we put the "beamer," Buster Brown?"

Gary - "Only one probleemo! How do we cross the Sea Of  Megadeth, defeat the Deaf Dragon, and climb the Stairway To Havens, if we aren't reaching these diverse destinations in the Silver Sausage spazeship?"

Rosie - "Well, uh, I guess...we can beam across the Sea Of Megadeth, beam to the Isle Of The Deaf Dragon, and beam to the mountain of The Stairway To Havens!"

Gary - "No can do, Einstein! Once we beam across the Sea Of Megadeth, we lose our beamer, and cannot reach the following places!"

Rosie - "I've got it! Before we beam ourselves across the Sea Of Megadeth, we'll put a radiofractive mirror in front of the beaming platform, and we can beam ourselves, AND THE RADIO-REFLECTED BEAMER with us!! Easy peasy!!"

Gary - "Let's just hope there's a mirror on the Isle Of The Deaf Dragon, Alice In Wonderland!!"

Gary - "Where did we put that beamer, Rosie?"

Rosie - "It's as big as a Quadrophobian  Spaze Rover, it's gotta be around here somewhere!" 

Narrator with deep voice -Our hearts ache for Gary and Rosie. Will they find the illusive "beamer" device in time to save the princess? Will the mirror idea work as planned, or will it send our heroes to the "Dark Dimension!" And even if they succeed in beaming to the dangerous destinations, will they defeat the Deaf Dragon and climb the Stairway To Havens? 

You'll find the answers to these mind blowing questions in future episodes of...