Out Of This World Wednesday

For a brief reminder...Rosie and Gary have been transported to 'heaven," where two entities have already claimed to be God. A mountain and a platypus. 

Lea

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At this point the two entities have vanished, leaving Rosie abandoned and lost in one part of "paradise," and Gary stranded in another section of this mysterious place.

Gary -"This is REALLY a canonedrum conumdren conundrum!!"

Rosie - "I hope Gary is okay, wherever he is. He'll probably be using words he don't understand, and not have me to give him the definition. Like conundrum, for instance."

Gary - "I'll bet if Rosie were here she'd say, "you don't even know what conundrum means, do you?! And I would say, it means a big, cone shaped valley that echoes like a drum beating in a subterraneous cavern! Ha! I'm no fool!!"

Rosie - "That silly fool is gonna hurt himself if I don't find him soon! If only we were together..."

At that very instance...

Gary and Rosie are together again!!!

Rosie - "What in heaven's name is goin' on?!! I simply mentioned the thing about us being together and POOF, it happened!!"

Gary - "I'm sure glad it did, Rosie! You see, I was in a conundrum and..."

Rosie - Shut up about that, Gary.  We seem to be in a place where whatsoever we wish for comes true!"

Gary - "Ha ha! So if I asked for a big bucket of pistachio nut fudge ice cream... 

Gary - "I can clearly see we are in HEAVEN, Rosie!!!"

Rosie - "Maybe we are and maybe we're not, my unwitting friend."

What in da heck is Rosie talking about? 

They MUST be in heaven!

All their wishes granted?

Paradisaic setting?

Seeing God all over the place?

Why is Rosie in denial, like Cleopatra!

Find out all you want to know, and MORE, next week, here at...

Page Views Up 400%!! What? Thanks!!! 

I know you're gonna think I'm lyin' again, but my Facebook  analylitics anulitits I never could spell analytics, just told me my page views are up 400% on my FunPage!!  

Why?

I'm not doing ANYTHANG different! I'm the same ole wild and krazy guy that I've always been since I lost my sanity, so wha happen?!

Wait a sec! I shouldn't even mention this to you guys! 

Which reminds me of how ancient Chinese farmers would, allegedly, go out in their rice paddies and scream, "BAD RICE, BAD RICE," so the "Rice God" would be fooled into thinking the farmers had a bad crop and leave the farmers alone, out of pity...even though the farmers actually had a bountiful crop.

Now, I don't know if I'd worship a God that dumb, but that's their personal preference.

Which brings me back to my 400% increase in page views, that I'm afraid I'll jinx if I share the good news with my faithful readers.

What da heck. I'll go on ahead and be transparent with the news, what's the worse that could happen?

Bye Bye To Twitter, Hello To Parler 

It's always sore exciting to be off with the old and start fresh with the gnu!

I've been on Twitter for a few years and very few people see my tweets. 

In addition, Twitter censures stuff from my friends, like D.J. Trump and company.

So now I'm on Parler, so folks can ignore me on that website!

It is a more conservative website and I'm kinda conservative...so it is what it is. Whatever THAT means.

We still don't know who our next president will be, but think how nice it will be to have a leader with the wit, intelligence, stamina, humor, and devil may care attitude as...wait for it...wait for it...Sleepy Joe!!

Cereal-ly folks, not only has Biden NONE of those qualities..he's a low down, money grubbing, Chinese cahootin', feeler of little girls!

However, I'm keepin' the faith! 

Even though it looks like Trump is ready to bite the dust, he will emerge like a Phoenix from the ashes, and claim victory from sure defeat...I think.

Now I'm gonna publish this on Parler and see if ANYONE notices.

This is a test! This is only a test! If this had been an actual blog, you would be laughing by now!

 

Don't Stop Me! I'm Not THAT OLD!

I need to clear my gutters of leaves and my neighbors freak out when I'm up dare on the ladder!

Yes, I know I'm the Ancient Of Days in the neighborhood, but GEE-WILIKERS, I can still  take an hour or 4 to clean those nasty leaves outta my gutters!

My neighbors will walk by and try to get me to come down off the ladder, without making me feel older than dirt, but they ALWAYS do make me feel older than dirt.

"Danny, uh, do you think it's a good idea for you to be up dare? You don't want to fall, do ya?"

"Yes! I think it's a SUPER idea for me to be up here, and I hope I fall and break me arse!!"

That usually makes them shut up, but some are more persistent.

"Mr. Maness, Would you like me to clean those nasty leaves out of the gutter for you?"

"Why do you say that?"

"Well, um, because I'm just being a good neighbor, you see?"

"No, I don't see! Be more pacific!"

"Did you mean, specific? Well, anyway, someone your age..."

"My age? MY AGE!!!"

"Let me tell ya somethin' bud, I can still OUTWORK you, OUTLIFT you, OUTTHINK you...and, well, I do feel a bit shaky up here, but my pride is gonna keep me up here until I have a terrible fall, like Engelbert Humperdinck!""

"Do  you mean,  Humpty Dumpty?"

"Don't patronize me condescendingly, you TURD!"

"I don't think you know what those words even mean, Danny!"

"Well, let me tell you, neighbor...whoa...WHOOOOAA NELLIE...

Out Of This World Wednesday 

Paradise Lost.. For Real!

When we last encountered our goofy Glirkazoid galavants, Gary and Rosie, they had both encountered (wait, I already used encountered), uh, they had both WITNESSED entities who claimed to be God!

It was all a bit confusing, mysterious and wonderful at the same Tom! 

Tom Poston 

Gary - "Okay, I'm in a paradise-like setting, this baby platypus is claiming to be the Lord, and I'm following him to who knows where? It's beginning to get a bit weird!"

Rosie - "Alright, I'm miles away from my partner, Gary, talking to a mountain, who claims to be God! Sounds like a REALLY bad Star Trek episode!"

Gary - "Wha..what happen? Where did the little platypus go? I'm totally lost in this paradisaic setting, and I need my amigo, Rosie, to help me find my way outta here! Although I'd never admit it to her."

Rosie - "Well, Mr. Mountain God, I mean...where did you go? First there is a mountain then there is no mountain...

Well, well, well! That's a deep subject!

Lost and alone in paradise!

What an ambivalent set of circumstances!

Will Rosie and Gary EVER find each other again?

Dr. Livingston, I presume!

Will the REAL God please stand up?

Join us next time, for...

No One Will Read My Blog Today, So I can Write Politically Incorrect Stuff!

Due to everyone being preoccupied with the prezzidential re-election, I can spill my guts about ANY politically incorrect stuff I want!

The Riots - Just an excuse to steal free stuff...period! Well, maybe also to break stuff! Just found out new fences are being erected around the White House to protect from the rioters, when Trump is re-elected. Is this America?!! 

Biden - Feel sorry for him, even though he's a crook. My brain is heading his direction, so I feel empathy!

Trump - Never saw so much energy in ANYONE! I give him credit for that, and for, um, MAKING AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!!!

Melania - Cutest first lady of all time! Yes, even cuter than Jackie O!

Maybe?

Trump Rallies - Fun! Trump is a born stand-up comedian! Makes Trump haters lose their minds!

Nancy Pelosi - Good hair for a 120 year old, angry woman!

Mike Pence - The guy who LOOKS like a president, but doesn't have Trump's bombastic boasting...which is a good contrast.

Tucker Carlson - Always thought he was a bit pompous and laughed at inappropriate times, but lately, pretty good job!

Hannity - Faithful Trump supporter, but repeats the same lines EVERY NIGHT! We get it, we get it!!

Candace Owens - Really cute, but fiery and smart! Good future president in my ignorable opinion!

Coronavirus - A military General MUST keep his troops moving ahead, even though there will be casualties. Shutting down is not an option for a true leader. Hiding in a bunker will definitely lose the war!

Black Lives Matter - Folks who want sympathy and pity, instead of an opportunity to prove their God given ability to fly above their circumstances, in spite of the unfortunate conditions they've experienced...like Ben Carson, Condoleezza Rice and Candace Owens! 

And Jessie Owens!

Well, shoot! Pardon the NRA reference! I have about 222 more politically incorrect statements, but we ain't got the time to discuss them, do we?

Have a GREAT re-election day, and try not to get too drunk when your "man" loses, or WINS!