Dealing With The Chilling Cold Climate 

The radio just told me that it's zero degrees this morning, in central Illinois, at 6:00 am.

That's way too cold for my old body! 

I guess I could handle it by wearing my parka, my Fargo/Uncle Eddie hat, my big black boots, my insulated underwear (if I can find them), my face mask, and whatever I can find to cover every single freezing part of my ancient bod. 

However, I cannot take Chevy for his walkie, because he would freeze his little tail off, and my neighbors would turn me in for Chorkie abuse! 

I don't REALLY need to go to the grocery store, because we still have some pizza, kidney beans, mustard, and flour on hand, that we can survive on. 

In addition, since I'm retired, feeble and in mental decline, no one expects me to do ANYTHANG anymore!! Ain't it GREAT!! 

I stare out the window and watch the nutty squirrels running around and playing, like it's 72 degrees! How do they do that? Their fur ain't THAT thick!! Oh, to be a squirrel.

Ode To A Winter Squirrel

The Winter Squirrel must be freezin',

But I never see him/her sneezin',

(It's hard to tell the gender difference)

Although I'm frigid to the bone,

The squirrel doth never whine or moan,

Is it because his/her fur is thick,

Or beats the cold because he/she is quick,

I guess I'll never understand,

It must be part of God's great plan,

So, in this bitter cold, cruel freezing world,

It's better off to be a squirrel! 

72, 640 Page Views On My  Blog!

As things stand, right now, at this point, I have 72, 640 page views on my blog!

It's been many moons since I did a blog posting, because I wanted to get a lot of stuff done over the summer months.

Many moons ↑

Needless to say, I did not get ANYTHING done that I wanted to do! 

Isn't that the way it goes? No? Well, that's the way it ALWAYS goes for me!!

What did, uh, I think it was George Burns who said...

Okay, ROBERT Burns...I was close. 

I'm sure that as we enter 2022 (who knew I'd live this long), I can be positively sure that this is the year my long awaited plans, my dreams, my aspirations...will go down the drain, as in all other years. But that's okay! Why, you ask?

It's because, for no apparent reason, knowing I only get a handful of comments on my blog...I am still blessed with 72, 640 page views on my ridiculously stupid blog!! 

See how ridiculously stupid I look?

I do not know how often I'll be posting my blog, but you all can be confident in the fact that I will do my level best to keep all of you faithful readers uninformed, to the best of my ability!! 

Don't Roll Those Bloodshot Eyes At Me (COVER)

I Didn't Find Christmas Until I Found You (Original song)

 Peggy Christmas 2021

Gork on Donny!!! Hoppy Gork on Donny Days!! This is beink Peggy from Latvia, the badlands of the Baltics! 

Peggy havink sidebar...right next to Vodka rack! Latvia is to be havink bad reputation for drinkink vats o voodka, vild party, and excess schmoozing! Ve live up to it durink Gork on Donny Days!! It being SHADEBALLS!!

Gork &Donny days runnink from Dec. of 13, when ve first stumble on greatest radio show in wide world, even greater than Naked and Afraid Sheep Sheering,  to Jan of 24, sacred birthday of great Gork...or whenever booze runs out!!!

On these special days ve be dressink in shorty robes, form flash parade, and be singink traditional Gork on Donny Days anthem while marching to Dupnik square, to decorate ginormous statues of hero's, Gork on Donny, with small shiny objects!! Ve also pleasing to add Stevis the plant to decorate, and Stevis friend!!! 

The anthem is to be sung with voodka glass in one hand, photo of Gork on Donny in the other, and Stevis plants ornaments in other hand!!

It goes somethink like this...Christmas is for just one day,

Gork on Donny Days, it stays and stays,

Ve drinkink till brain in a haze,

It's Gork, Donny, Jules, Ken, Caleb we praise!

AND Stevis the plant and Stevis friend!!!

Merry Christmas and Hoppy Gork on Donny Days!!!

I Didn't Find Christmas, Until I Found You

For many long years I felt alone on Christmas day,

Even when others felt happy and gay,

As the Elvis song said, my Christmas was blue,

I didn't find Christmas, until I found you. 

Now I can see Christmas through the love that you share,

You help others in need, because you truly care,

You believe in old Santa, now I believe too, 

 I didn't find Christmas, until I found you. 

Even in hard times, with just you and your children,

You made Christmas special, but they didn't know then,

That you sacrificed everything to bring Christmas joys,

Unconditional love shown to your girl and your boys. 

You married me, I was not really Scrooge,

But I never knew Christmas they way that you knew,

Your deepest, most passionate love for the Lord,

And your Christmas decorations displayed in our yard.  

Now I can see Christmas through the love that you share,

You help others in need, because you truly care,

You believe in old Santa, now I believe too, 

 I didn't find Christmas, until I found you. 

 

 Thanksgiving Poem 2021

Thanksgiving is wonderful, 

Eating food with reckless abandon,

Turkey, dressing, taters,

Until you look like old Ralph Kramden

Traveling to grandma's house,

Covered dish lay on the seat,

Have to make a sudden stop,

Green bean casserole on your feet. 

Uncle Amos at the table,

Talking politics and religion,

He gazes at the roasted bird,

"Is that a turkey or a pigeon?"

                                         St. Louis Song 

Lazy people sittin' on the levy, won't you listen now, 'cause this is heavy,

When the spirit came to shake and move us, well, we knew that we were in St. Louis.

At Forrest Park the ghosts are playing the Pavilion, although their guitars rust,

 the spirit never left fails shake and move us, 

  when we rock and roll in sweet St. Louis. 

Meet me, in St. Loo... Where they rock your soul,

Meet me in St. Loo...that's where you should go....

Meet me in St. Loo...For the Whiskey War...

Maness bros and bands you don't know...will shoot you to the stars.

It's hot as hades down in old St. Louis, from May until the August fry,

But not as hot as music in that city, Chuck Berry plays there in the sky.

Kiel and Arena blasted classic music, like KSHE radio on the air,

Images of crowds delight my worn out senses, to take me out my rockin' chair.

 Well, I messed up my own name again,

It's not a hard name to say, it's Ken,

No, I haven't been drinking too much Gin,

I'm not thirsty, I'm Zen Kurski!

I mean, Ben Shurski...no, I'm Ren Burski...nevermind. 

Tin Machine [ original song] Blues

 You're from Pekin if...

You like to show the scar on your butt where you got snake bit at Lick Crik.

You've got more guns than dishes.

You're emergency survival kit contains duct tape and Jim Beam.

You wear your camouflage outfit to church.

You have 8 vehicles in your front yard, one almost runs, but you ride a bike because of too many D.U.Is. 

You've named a private body part.

For convenience, you moved close to the jail.

You believe the Pekin Dragons are real, as you work at the meth lab in your attic.

You have female cousins in North and South Pekin who have filed paternity suits on you.

You swear to fix the roof when it stops raining, but when it stops you think, "what's the big deal?!"

You always say, "we don't need no Rodeo Dr. to shop (pronounced like a cowboy rodeo), we got Goodwill! It's just as good!"

You refer to Grand Prairie as the "new mall," even though it's almost 20 years old. 

You often listen to your vinyl record of Edward Dirksen, to soothe your mind, while gazing at your Susan Dey poster. 

 I wrote a few "zingers" about how to know you're from Pekin. Ha ha!

You know you're from Pekin when ... you think stop signs are suggestions.

A "Baby On Board" sign is for your pet pig.

You call the muddy bank of the Illinois River, The Beach.

You keep your doors unlocked at night in hopes your neighbor will bring in beer.

To keep from mowing your grass, you put up a Prairie Grass Experiment sign. 

You think a job is a waste of time, since you're  already an expert dumpster diver. 

You don't need an automatic dish washer, since Ole Blue licks 'em up clean, real nice like. 

Since you can't get rid of all the flies in the house, you claim them as dependents. 

You call the strong smell from the distillery, Chanel Number 2.

You think bow hunting for Asian Carp should be an Olympic sport. 

YouTube Banned My Video, And they did not tell me why, 

Just said that it was "hate speech, "it made me want to cry,

I don't have hatred in my heart, my friends know that's absurd,

So I grabbed my trusty headphones, and went over every word.

YouTube banned my video, and I made a big appeal,

They denied it in 10 seconds, and I said, "this can't be real,"

That video was all about being kind, and fair to all,

But talking to the YouTube folks, is like talking to the wall

After I perused my song, I called a faithful friend,

He said, the song seems A okay, but one photo might offend,

So I took the photo out, and submitted it again,

The YouTube bigwigs shut it down, and that's the bitter end. 

 

Steve The Plant Steve The Plant, can he talk, no he can't,

But he's a hoot, like my great aunt,

Can he walk, or galavant,

Of course not, steve's a plant!

Steve The Plant, Steve The Plant, will never curse and rant,

He just sits upon the sill, resembling Oscar Levant,

Watching traffic patterns, much like that dude named "Grant,"

Greg and Dan kneel close to him, and recite this ancient chant.

Steve The Plant, Steve The Plant, make this show a worldwide smash, Steve The Plant, Steve The Plant, if you don't we'll kick your .....

Steve The Plant, Steve The Plant, make this show a worldwide smash, Steve The Plant, Steve The Plant, if you don't we'll kick your .....

 

My name is Danny Maness, at least, that's what it was,

But lately I feel distant from YouTube folks I love,

I used to get more comments and likes most all the time,

So I changed my channel name to Hazy Sunshine.

Why Hazy Sunshine, you ask inquisitively,

I'm I drifting through the mist of a foggy morning sea,

While the sun is begging for the chance to warm both you and me,

No, my life is doing fine..as Hazy Sunshine.

Do you sometimes feel your brain is fuzzy on a sunny day,

When your friends come to help you, do you tell them go away,

Are your memories real hazy as you say it's all okay,

As you toast your cheapest wine...to Hazy Sunshine.

Hazy Sunshine is the name that I'll claim from now on,

Forget the stuff I once created, because it's dead and gone,

Although it's still on YouTube, if you watch, don't stay for long,

Since you're all a friend of mine, join me now in Hazy Sunshine. 

 I'm conducting a YouTube experiment. I put this video on YouTube a few days ago with almost no response. Is the lack of response due to you guys hating the song, or are the YouTube algorithms interfering with all of my communication with my old time YouTube buddies? 

Of course, if it's YouTube algorithms, I'll never no. 

God bless you, one and all!

Remember...transparency is healthier than veiled secrets.

 I haven't done my blog in centuries, but I wrote a new song that, well, I humbly think is my all tom GREATEST!

Please let me know if this neo-classic song reaches your ears. Thanks!!

Free debate is healthy, it helps our brains to learn,

Keeping our foes silent, will cause a quiet burn,

That one day will explode in them, at least that's what I think,

So let everybody have their say, cause censorship..it stinks!

Will we once again start burning books, by people that we hate,

Take their message off of YouTube, cause we really can't relate,

And if they contradict us, on Facebook, it's a sin,

Do we censor all their posts since birth,  And do it with a grin!

Censor this...I believe in God above, and all dogs go to heaven,

Censor this...I believe that all lives matter, even my friend Kevin,

Censor this...I believe there should be no war, we should only fight with pillows,

Censor this...I believe we should stop the crying of the weepin' willows!

Censorship's a funny thing, it doesn't only stop, conservatives who fly the flag,

and defends the local cop,

It can quickly turn on you when your enemy has power,

to censor your progressive views, just like a fading flower. 

Why are we afraid to hear the words that disagree,

Are we not allowed opinions, in this land of speech that's free,

If you are for that thing your professor taught in school,

Go ahead and shout it out, so I can say, "it's BULL!"

Censor this..I believe that all government should be put into the trash,

Censor this...I believe that we all need to enjoy our pound of flesh,

Censor this... I believe we can fly if we just concentrate real hard,

Censor this... I believe we are all a part of the auxiliary Scotland Yard!

Censorship is scary, "cancelling" is cruel, those who do the censoring will someday be the fool, for censorship can come to all who think they have the "key," who never thought that anyone would censor such as me! 

Censor this... I believe that Elvis never really died at all,

Censor this... I believe we that we need to read the writing on the wall,

Censor this... I believe that Ufos and aliens exist,

Censor this... I believe that someday we'll prevail if we resist,

Censor this... I believe in everything that other people shun,

Censor this... I believe that being opposite is lots of fun....

I knew it when I first beheld your beauty, you were even more than just a cutie, your soft and sweet demeanor cast a spell, and now you have become my Baby Angel.

I love the way you shower love on me, the way an angel would so generously, playing innocent as a babe the times I fell, that's why I call you Baby Angel.

Baby Angel, we've been in love since I can't tell,

Baby Angel, when I see you, my heart rings like a bell,

Baby Angel, it's with you I always want to dwell,

Let me fly with you forever, Baby Angel.

I believe in heavenly paradise, I believe that time will be so nice,

But right now I have a preview of that bliss, when I receive your sweetest Angel's kiss.

I love to spoil you just like a baby, although some clueless people say I'm crazy, but I know the things you've suffered oh so well, and eternally you'll be my Baby Angel.

 

 Chasing the sunset, as I drive down the lane,

Chasing the sunset, you may think I'm insane,

But I love chasing sunsets, I know there's nothing to gain,

By chasing the sunset, and easing my pain.

My life is a good one, I cannot complain,

At times it is busy, and my strength seems to wane,

But when I get tired and want to give in,

I go chasing the sunset, again!