Dealing With The Chilling Cold Climate 

The radio just told me that it's zero degrees this morning, in central Illinois, at 6:00 am.

That's way too cold for my old body! 

I guess I could handle it by wearing my parka, my Fargo/Uncle Eddie hat, my big black boots, my insulated underwear (if I can find them), my face mask, and whatever I can find to cover every single freezing part of my ancient bod. 

However, I cannot take Chevy for his walkie, because he would freeze his little tail off, and my neighbors would turn me in for Chorkie abuse! 

I don't REALLY need to go to the grocery store, because we still have some pizza, kidney beans, mustard, and flour on hand, that we can survive on. 

In addition, since I'm retired, feeble and in mental decline, no one expects me to do ANYTHANG anymore!! Ain't it GREAT!! 

I stare out the window and watch the nutty squirrels running around and playing, like it's 72 degrees! How do they do that? Their fur ain't THAT thick!! Oh, to be a squirrel.

Ode To A Winter Squirrel

The Winter Squirrel must be freezin',

But I never see him/her sneezin',

(It's hard to tell the gender difference)

Although I'm frigid to the bone,

The squirrel doth never whine or moan,

Is it because his/her fur is thick,

Or beats the cold because he/she is quick,

I guess I'll never understand,

It must be part of God's great plan,

So, in this bitter cold, cruel freezing world,

It's better off to be a squirrel!