CHICKENS' BUTTS AND COCONUTS

By Danny Maness

Wow! I almost forgot about the food vendors! The

pretzel guy, watermelon guy, tamale guy! It wasn’t the food that was special. It was the songs! Every food vendor had a song. For instance:

Waaaa-teeee-mmmel-oooooo! (Translation – watermelon) Or:

Toooooo-mollllll-eeeeee! (Translation – tamale)

I think my favorite was the pretzel guy who always sang

(to the tune of “Puff the Magic Dragon”)

Eat the stinking pretzels,

Eat all you want

‘cause death and destruction,

Will come anyway,

Zits on you face will swell

And ooze and pop,

And how you gonna ever

Get a date with that mug,

Love is a sickness, and laughter is phony,

But life as we know it will only get worse,

Here’s you lousy pretzel

I hope you choke on it.

(No need of translation)

Now that guy was creative, but his pretzels were

 disgusting.