So, here I am in the middle of the living room floor.
Minding my own business. (I think, if I remember correctly,
I was writing thank-you notes to all my family members. Just
because I wanted to. 

Example: Dear Mama, thanks for being
you.) 

Unbeknownst to me, my brothers had put hideous faces
on two coconuts Mom had bought at the A&P. 

They used Mom’s eyebrow pencil. 

(Mom’s joke used to be, “someone’s in
the bathroom, so I’m going to the A and P”. 

When you make jokes like that, urine trouble.)

All of a sudden, the lights went out except for the
ghostly light coming from the Winky Dink show. 

I began to hear drums. As if someone was beating on a Quaker Oats box.

Those drums, those dang drums still beat in my head!
Then I heard a long low ssssssssss. A few seconds later
I heard shhhhhhhhhh. Now, a little louder, it became
shruuuuuuuunk. Finally, all my deepest fears rose to the top
when I heard shruuuuuunken heads! 

All of a sudden, my two
brothers ran in from the kitchen, each with a shrunken head.
(Psycho music again.) What’s happening? Is this a nightmare?
Did my brothers chop off people’s heads? 

They say I was
found 14 blocks away at the garbage dump, talking to rats
and liking it.