TRAVELIN' TUESDAYS

Keep on truckin' baby,

With the feet God gave me,

Or in a car, I can traverse far,

To California, maybe.

I ain't takin' no plane,

The process drives me insane,

Gettin' felt up by a dude with no brain,

I'd rather take a choo-choo train.

Let me explain,

On a train, ya got no hassles,

Watch the cows go by,

And eat White Castles,

Wear what you want,

Even dat hat from Spain with the tassels!

Read 99 Beers Off The Wall,

By Marty Wombacher, the best of all,

Take my worm for it,

I don't lie,

Read dat book, and you'll laugh 'till you cry.

How ya gonna read it whilst drivin'?

Try dat gig, and you'll be dead on arrivin'!

There are so many ways to travel,

Here's the list dat we'll start to unravel:

A donkey cart,

But dats not too smart,

It gets real bad,

When he starts to fart.

A bicycle is handy,

You might think it's fine and dandy,

But it won't make your girlfriend "randy."

It's a "vette" dat gives your girl incentive,

To kiss your face and be inventive!

If you really want a trip,

Just jump on to my rocket ship,

10, 9, 8, and 7,

The blast off takes you up to heaven!

I left the best for last...intentional,

The coolest trips are inter-dimentional,

Through a worm hole,

Out the other side,

Hang on to your "tussie",

You're in for a ride!

But watch out for the "worm",

As you travel through time,

If you hit him you'll get a substantial fine.

If convicted in court,

Before the judge drops his gavel,

Just tell him this story,

About the "worm" and time travel,

I guarantee this,

Cause it happened to me,

He'll let you off,

Due to insanity!

BURMA SHAVE