The Fantasies And Realities Of A Twisted Mind, by Danny Maness
Wednesday, August 27, 2014
OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY
Hello boys and gorillas! During our last excursion into OUT OF THIS WORM WEDNESDAY, the whole galdurn Earth was surrounded by an armada of warships from the gigantic planet of Wrychus 1!
The Earth was sucking so bad, with it's wars and rumors of wars, pollution out the wazoo, corruption, incomprehensible ice bucket dysfunction, and the heartbreak of psoriasis, that the Wrychus 1 KILLER SHIPS were just about ready to obliterate the pathetic place we like to call Urth!
Having trouble remembering the last episode? Listen to the song I wrote about the whole deal, okay?
And this Tom, REALLY listen to it and don't cop out like a worm!
Wrychus 1 Commander - "This stupid planet is hopeless! Get ready to emulsificate them on my count! One, two, buckle my shoe..."
First Leftenent Qwerty - "Commander, I see special activity going on the surface of this potentially doomed planet, through our stare-a-scope!"
Commander - (Pushes Leftenent Qwerty out of the way) "Let me see this, so called, activity!"
What they saw was something beyond miraculous, more wonderful than the bottom of a banana split when all of the sweet goodness runs together, more unbelievable than Angelina Jolie calling me...the inhabitants of this miserable planet were doing the ancient, life saving, "Dance Of Joy," that was taught to them by the legendary Yellow Rose and Gary!
Of course, universal law states that if any of the inhabitants of a doomed planet does the "Dance Of Joy," they MUST NOT be destroyed!
Hallelujah! Because of our lovable little heroes, the Earth is saved! In addition, the Earthlings promise to clean up the whole place and stop their stinking wars!
I LOVE happy endings, don't you?
Tuesday, August 26, 2014
Asian Carpnado Tuesday...Yaaaay!!!!!!!
Brilliant ideas don't come along every day.
Or even every week! In fact, I'm not sure if I ever had a brilliant idea, but Jeff Hanneman sure did!
Note Jeff Hanneman's name on the awesome movie poster.
By the way, MY name is on there too! Ha!!
Mr. Hanneman was the dude who came up with the Asian Carpnado idea, and The Greg and Dan Radio Show has taken Jeff's idea to new heights!
They now have an Asian Carpnado movie in the works (I incidentally, wrote the theme for the movie), a movie trailer, a fantastic movie poster, an Asian Carnado tee shirt...
Here they are, starting with the first version and ending with the second version!
It's important we get input from YOU on this, so we will know which one to use in the real life movie!
Ain't this exiting?! Just think about it! What if you had been in on the decision of every movie theme? The Theme to The Magnificent 7, the Goldfinger theme, the Chariots of Fire theme, theme to Exodus (one of the greatest), the theme to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles....
Wouldn't you be as proud as Polly's pickles?! Sure you would! So after picking your favorite, let me know in the comments section! Like they would say thank you in Germany...Donkey shame!
Friday, August 22, 2014
ASIAN CARPNADO FRIDAY
The world was stunned when the news came out of Central Illinois that a series of "Asian carpnados" had wreaked havoc across the Illinois plain, with massive amounts of death and destruction in it's wake! An "Asian carpnado" occurs when the swirling, violent, turbulent winds of a tornado, suck up Asian carp from a body of water and then toss the razor finned fish at such a high velocity that nothing can withstand the deadly force! The courageous efforts of Peoria's local heroes, Greg and Dan, saved countless lives and created a new industry for eager entrepreneurs..."carp on a stick." They are also in the process of making a documentary/ thriller/ madcap comedy movie that chronicles all of the historic events that took place on that fateful day! The cool part is that they allowed me to write the theme song for the movie! Yaaaaay! Here it is:
Wednesday, August 20, 2014
OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY
The giant inhabitants of the magnificent, peaceful, glorious, pristine, breathtaking planet of Wrychus 1, were commissioned by the Inter Galactic Federation to find all of the misfit planets in the whole dang universe, and either destroy the polluted, warring, dysfunctional planet or help change the direction they are going...IF THEY ARE WILLING TO CHANGE!!
Of course, Earth was on top of their list as a "misfit planet."
So they parked their armada of super sized spaceships up in the atmosphere, all around the circle of the Earth!
Then they sent this message to the earthlings...
Will the Earth people change?
Can this dying planet be revived?
Will Gary and Yellow Rose, our Glirkazoid buddies, save the day?
Tune in next week and find the answers to these intriguing questions!
Did you click on my new song?
Don't be afraid...go ahead!
Wednesday, August 13, 2014
OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY
It is a well known, undisputed fact that the "Dance Of Joy" the Glirkazoids have performed for billions of years has acted as a "force field" of protection for our other worldly friends.
No one really knows how it began, or how it works, exactly, but there is no doubt that this joyous dance repels and reverses any negative thoughts, prevents arguing and wars, makes folks more lovable...however, gives the Glirkazoids the "munchies" after performing the dance.
When we last visited Yellow Rose and Gary, they were heading to Earth to teach the inhabitants the "Dance Of Joy," so as to stop all of the miserable crap going on down there.
The traditional and sacred dance would basically eliminate crime, violence, poverty, bad breath, pollution, and every other bad thing that has plagued the earthlings for thousands of years.
Of course, when they arrived on Earth they employed their U-Kont Seamy device for the Silver Sausage to be invisible to the naked eye.
In addition, they needed to disguise themselves so as not to freak out the sensitive Earth folks.
Yellow Rose disguised herself as Carrie Ann Inaba and Gary made himself look like Bruno Tonioli.
The earth folks they contacted were completely duped! They thought they were gonna be part of "Dancing With The Stars," even though they were not "stars!" Gary and Yellow Rose can be so deceptive when they want to be, can't they?
So this group was taught the "Dance Of Joy" and will perform the dance in flash mobs, all over the earth, until this once doomed planet is showered in peace and harmony.
Be patient...it takes tom!
A rare view of the "Dance Of Joy," performed by the "chosen ones!" Ain't it cool?!
Saturday, August 9, 2014
Danny Maness
Attended Pattonville High School
25 followers|223,900 views
Google tells me I have 223, 9oo views...SOMEWHERE!
I'll prove it! See where it says "about me" and shows my lovely photo?
Click on the photo and it will say I have 223,900 views! So there!
If what they are telling me is true, I need to put more of my stuff on this blog to get famouser!!
So, I'm gonna put some of my new songs here on my blog to make sure they are getting optimum exposure!!
Also, I'm too lazy to write a lot of words today!
I hope all of you 223,900 folks enjoy my songs!!
Wednesday, August 6, 2014
OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY
Gary was gazing through his stare-a-scope for the longest time...ever!
His stare-a-scope allows him to view any place in the whole universe and THIS particular place was in BIG, BIG TROUBLE!!
Gary - "How many times do I have to tell you, Y.R., my stare-a-scope got bumped by the cat and was accidentally pointed to the Newillian females!"
Yellow Rose - "Then why did you download the video to your files, hmmm?"
Gary - "How did you know I...well, uh, never mind about that...we have a serious problem we need to deal with on Earth!"
Yellow Rose - "Earth? Where's this Earth place?"
Gary - "Don't you remember Earth, Yellow Rose?" It's right here in my stare-a-scope view. It's where one of our Glirkazoid ships crash landed (like Glirkazoid ships usually do) and for over two thousand years our fellow Glirkazoids has been secretly helping the Earth creatures to survive."
Yellow Rose - "Now is this in the past or in the future?"
Gary - "I'm not sure. With time travel, I get mixed up, and when we combine flying at double light speed and time traveling at the same tom, it's anybodies guess! All I know is that the earthlings are in deep sheep dip! Here, look through the stare-a-scope, Y.R.
Yellow Rose cannot believe her big beauteous eyes! The Earth is far different than any planet she has ever seen before! Instead of the all the inhabitants of the Earth being one big family, like on her home planet Glirka, there are many different countries with different languages, customs, religions, and governments!
She can see wars, arguing, traffic jams, lying, cheating, stealing, floods, droughts, famine, floods, earthquakes, hurricanes, and lots of potholes in the streets!
WOW! Yellow Rose can sure see a lot through one little stare-a-scope!! Yellow Rose - "This is terrible, Gary!" Why is this world so filled with problems?!" Gary - "Well, I think most of it can be chalked up to real bad luck, however, their biggest problem is they don't know the Glirkazoid Dance Of Joy that has protected our planet and inhabitants for trillions of years!" Yellow Rose - " Your pulling my leg, right, Gary? Glirka would be devastated without our traditional Dance Of Joy that keeps everything in perfect order, free of disasters, and at peace!" Gary - "So then you know what we have to do, Y.R.?" Yellow Rose - "Roger that, Commander! Let me grab my traditional Glirkazoid dancing shoes and we can head for Earth!! Gary - "Where did I put my kilts and tam o'shanter?" Will the ancient, traditional "Dance Of Joy" bring peace and tranquility to the miserable planet we like to call Earth? Will Gary throw his hip out again? Will Yellow Rose "shake it" like she gonna break it?! Woo hoo!! Find out next week in ...
OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY!!!
Saturday, August 2, 2014
A friend of mine posted the above words on Facebook yesterday (it was Stephanie, my wife's high school friend, who looks a lot like Reba) and it expressed one of my deepest beliefs in a few simple words.
Stephanie/Reba
I do not love everything Beethoven did in his life, or even in all his music (the solo singing parts in his 9th symphony really suck, in my opinion), however, his genius changed the world of music, forever!
Like the above words say, " He taught us to see the world through different eyes!"
When I listen to his music I start thinking the melody and notes are going in a "normal" direction, and then he shocks and amazes me by taking me to a place I never, ever imagined!
I always liked the photographs of Van Gogh's paintings, it was clear to me that he was a great artist, however, it was not until I saw them in person, at the St. Louis art museum, that I understood the depth and power of his works.
He would glob the paint on to the canvass to make it look three dimensional, the images pop out at you, and the texture and breathtaking color make them different from any paintings I've ever seen before!
Of course, we all know about his "odd" behavior, like when he cut off his own ear, but his imagination and skill changed the world of art.
John Lennon was known for outlandish behavior (like when he and Yoko laid in bed naked for peace), but he really didn't need to do that. He taught us peace through his remarkable music that was simple and profound at the same time.
My friends are ALL "weird" people! Almost all of them are on YouTube, living in diverse places all over the world. I love them BECAUSE they are "weird." They are poets, misfits, troubadours, painters, writers, and mystics...like Bec!
Maybe she's not a mystic, but she's close enough for me.
Dee Tom is an amazing artist and songwriter.
Cheryl Merritt (Yellow Rose) is one of the "weirdest" of all, because she has lived a difficult, challenging life, filled with sorrow and pain, and she is the brightest light of our YouTube family!
She teaches us to see the world through different eyes....eyes of compassion, joy, peace, forgiveness, and humor.
When no one "likes" my posts on Facebook or my videos, she never fails to give me a glowing review!
Her eyes see only the good things, and her ears hear only the good notes in my music.
In today's world of anger, bitterness, rude behavior, disrespect, cruelty, and vanity, Cheryl is REALLY "weird" to be the awesome, caring woman she is!
One of the first people I admired on YouTube was Yozie. (Yoz Creative) What first drew me to her channel was her fascinating, beautiful photography that captured nature, trains, urban areas, and often herself, however, what was really intriguing was she would never show her face!
She would show the back of her head, far away shots, quick side glimpses, and it made me a bit obsessed about wanting to see her face! So much so, I wrote an improptu song about it.
By the way, Yoz finally did show her face, and she is beautiful, just as we all suspected.
One of the "weirdest," of my friends, according to the worlds standards, would be Michael Tomlins (AKA Gounderus)...a sweet, eloquent, passionate man, who is a wonderful actor, and the funniest guy on YouTube, in my opinion!
If I wanted to write about a few people standing on a street corner, I would pick the unique looking people, with wild hair, playing a musical instrument, tattoos, or even a lonely looking elderly individual. It's the misfits, outcasts, and downtrodden that have the greatest stories.
They are the "weird" people "that teach us to see the world through different eyes!"
