Out Of This World Wednesday
Rosie - "So, Gary, what do you think about this crop of presidential candidates?"
Gary - "Didn't you axe me that question 10 episodes ago?"
Rosie - "Surely, but I never received an answer."
Gary - "Don't call me Shirley, and you don't want my opinion, because YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!"
Rosie - "Stop with the movie quotes woudja? I'm really confused about who should be the next president of Glirka, our beloved planet!"
Gary - "Well, well, well...it just so happens you've come to da right plaze! I've been following the presidential race very closely, which means I have scooped up a lot of poop that I will share with you, my dear Rosie!"
Rosie - "I hope you're talking figuratively...about the poop, I mean."
Gary - "Now let me see, there's the big fat guy, Crisp Crispy! No one will vote for him!"
Rosie - "Why not?"
Gary - "He's way too fat!"
Rosie - "I don't think that makes any diff..."
Gary - "Moving on, we have Burnout Slanders, who is way too OLD!"
Rosie - "I'm shocked at you Gary! Are you REALLY that shallow to judge..."
Gary - "MOVING ON...we focus in on Karlee P. Orina. No way, Jose!"
Rosie - "Why, no way? I think she's very articulate, smart , experienced..."
Gary - "Helloooo?! Orina is a GIRL! Glirka has NEVER had a girl president in all of it's trillions of years, Rosie!"
Rosie - "So, I guess you're against Shrillery Klingon as well, hmmm?"
Gary - "Shrillery is worse than a girl! Did you ever hear her talk? She is squeaky chalk on a blackboard, she's a howling cat in heat, and she's like the excruciating ear pain caused by feedback from a microphone! Can you imagine listening to her "soloist from Hell" voice every single day on Glirkavision?!"
Rosie - "You may have a point here, but what about Hike Suckabee?"
Gary - "Another fat guy!"
Rosie - "Then you MUST like Barko Rubikscube, he's cute!"
Gary - "He's a pretty boy!"
Rosie - "What about Dr. Starson?"
Gary - "Way too smart to be president! We are used to having idiots as president here on Glirka!"
Rosie - "Okay, okay...I'm not gonna go through every candidate, so why don't you tell me if there is one you LIKE, knucklehead!"
Gary - "Surely!"
Rosie - "Don't call me Shirley!"
Gary - "The most qualified candidate is Tronald Dump!"
Rosie - "Oh, gag! You've got to be kidding me, right?!"
Gary - "Think about it, Rosie! Dump is not fat...well, not SUPER fat.
"He's not old...I mean, not as old as Burnout Slanders.
"He's not a GIRL...we think.
"His voice is not as irritating as Shrillery's voice...almost, but definitely not as bad.
"Tronald is not nearly as pretty as Rubikscube, although he thinks he is.
"And he is NOT ANYWAY NEAR AS SMART as Dr. Starson!"
"Tronald Dump is absolutely perfect!"
Rosie - "Gary...your intellect and political expertise is a LOAD OF CRAP!
Tell me why you're REALLY supporting Dump!"
Rosie - "I knew it! Don't you remember you made the same mistake when Oglama offered you free health care, a free Oglama phone, and Snickers bars?
Gary - "Yeah, but this time is different...I already got the cash up front!!"
Speaking humbly from the FAT constituency...we men of weighted weight can't be Pres, cuz we will always be breaking for lunch! Since I was born to a woman and have known women all my life, I can see with CERTAINTY that no one truly knows a woman!! Soo, I follow your logic. You got my vote! Where are my pazooozas, Shirley?! LOL! Love your stinging, yet imaginative political take sir!
ReplyDeleteI'm so happy I'm all of the above, and that disqualifies me for president, fat, old, ugly, a woman (on my sensitive days), screechy, a mad genius, fat again, and a clown! Did I mention clown? No matter. I R 1! Did I miss lunch?
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