Illinois Road Work? Ha!

If you live in Illinois, in the U.S. Of A., one of the most horrifying words you can hear is ROAD CONSTUCTION! (I guess that's two words, but who's counting?)

There are all of those cli·chés about road construction guys leaning on their shovels, how you never see them work, that they put up hundreds of miles of orange barrels and barricades that we have to slow down to a snails pace for, but not even ANY road equipment can be spotted along the whole stinkin' way!

Well, it's all TRUE! 

Now, I'm speaking anecdotally. I'm sure there are parts of Illinois that have absolutely lovely roads, due to the hard working road crews that diligently put up orange barrels and actually work behind the protection of them, instead of standing in a little circle talking and smoking cigarettes. 

However, I have never heard ANYONE from Illinois describe a place like that, but I don't get out much...because of all the stupid road construction signs...even though NO road construction is happening that I have witnessed!

One of the most frustrating signs is this one...

How simple! How cost effective! Instead of fixing the road, just put up a $75.00 sign that warns us about the rough road! That simple sign has saved Illinois taxpayers millions upon millions of dollars! 

Where does the money go? Don't ask, at the risk of your life, liberty and well being! 

I really and firmly believe that the major tire companies pay off the Illinois politicians to keep the roads in nasty, rough conditions. Don't you?

I haven't looked up any statistics (I never do)  on this, but I would guesstimate Illinois drivers use 3 times the amount of tires as drivers from Missouri, Ohio, Arizona, and Walla Walla, Washington...COMBINED!

Why did I feel so "at home" at the Grand Canyon? You guessed it! Illinois potholes! Winter has been over for a long time now, and we are still destroying our vehicles in massive potholes that have not yet been repaired! 

Okay, if you're an Illinois road crew person, don't get angry with me for chronicling what I've personally noticed , and what everyone I've ever met from Illinois has noticed. We could all be incorrect, need our eyes checked, or living in an alternate universe.

It's not you road crew guys to blame, anyway. It's the "higher ups" that created this problem! The space aliens that want us all to go nuts from the traffic delays and destroy each other! 

That's it! That's the ticket!! We can't let THEM win! Even if we all take a bucket of asphalt to the roads and fix them ourselves, we've taken a small step in preventing our planet from being conquered by disgusting, slimy creatures from beyond! Kind of like Illinois politicians, but not as slimy!!

Guess who?