Yes! There's A Blog Today! Just Because It's My Birds Day, Is No Reason To Let You Guys Down!

I lot of you were probably worried that I wouldn't do my blog today, because it's my birds day, but how could I let you guys, and gals, down?

It's my obligation to do my blog in spite of rain, wind, locusts, famine, and even birds days! 

I was born (I hope I don't bore you with my life story), now, where was I? Oh. yes, I was born as a small baby. I was so ugly, the doctor slapped my mom and dad!

My mom took me on my first airplane trip when I was only two months. The guy sitting next to us said, "Lady, I don't normally step into other folks business, but that's the ugliest baby I've EVER seen!"

So my mom calls the stewardess (that's what they used to be called), and tells her the guy is harassing us.

The stewardess tells my mom, "just calm down, I'll bring you a drink, and a banana for your monkey."

Old joke, but excuse me, it IS my birds day! Ha ha!

I was always a bit afraid to go to school, because my parents would move before I came home. 

I played football in high school and my grades were not great, so the principle wanted me kicked off the team. The coach asked the principle to give me a test, to see if I could be kept on the football squad. 

The principle, the coach and myself went into the principle's office and the principle said he would ask me one question to decide my fate. 

He said, "Danny, what's one and one?" I hesitated for a few seconds, and blurted out "TWO!"

The coach yelled out, "give him another chance, give him another chance!!" 

I joined the Army, and while I was over in Nam (I really didn't go to Nam) I saw a guy mowing down the enemy with a simple stick!

He would walk up to them with the stick, point it at them, and say, "stickity, stick, stickity stick" and the enemy combatants would drop like flies! I was so amazed, until the day I saw him lying on the ground, flat and mangled!

Next thing I heard was one of the enemy saying "tankity tank, tankity tank!!" 

Well, I don't have tom to tell you about the rest of my life, if tom were here it would be much easier, but he's so lazy anyway, so whatever!

Tom Poston

I REALLY need to get back to my birds day celebrations that haven't REALLY happened yet, but I'm sure there's gonna be some kind of a surprise party for me, with gifts, cake, dancing bears, unicyclists, fire breathers, monkeys, J. Lo.,  cotton candy, iced cream, yodelers, plate spinners, and all kinds of stuff like that!