OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY

Dec. 25th, 2013, It's Glirkmas!!!!

Merry Glirkmas grills and boids!

When we last saw our Gary, on his shiny spaceship, he had been visited by the Ghosts of Glirkmas Past an Present, and it was not lookin' good for Gary!

Gary had always been too busy doing heroic deeds, saving civilizations throughout all the universes, and defeating hideous space monsters to REALLY celebrate Glirkmas.

"Krapnax," Gary shouted, although he was alone on his shiny, silver spaceship...or was he?

Gary must have nodded off to sleep for a long weiner's nap when he opened his eyes, and saw a dark figure in a hooded cloak!

Was this his old friend Yoda? Maybe it was E.T.? 

No, Gary realized this must be the Ghost of Glirkmas yet to come!!

The hooded Ghost took Gary by the hand, and they flew through the closed doors of his shiny, silver spaceship, among the stars, moons, asteroids, space junk, and back down to his home town on his home planet of Glirka...but in the FUTURE!

It was Glirkmas, everyone was happy and having a wonderful time, but a few of  Gary's family and old friends were talking about Gary! Gary could see and hear them, but they couldn't see or hear Gary.

Gary's Uncle Gragg- Too bad Gary decided to go on that one last mission, and was never able to have a single Glirkmas celebration with us.

Gary's friend Garron- He died a hero, after saving the 100 billion inhabitants of Xerox, but it would have been nice to have him here for just one Glirkmas, for a change.

Gary's cousin Garaff- Where was Yellow Rose? I thought she always helped Gary when he was in trouble! 

Gary's friend Garth- They say she was so high on candy cane she never heard his distress calls. 

Gary's brother Goop- Very sad indeed. Oh, well, that means more roast glirky and gleer for us!! Ha Ha Ha Ha!

Gary- Nooooooo! I'm sorry! I should have decided to celebrate Glirkmas with you dudes! 

Of course, they couldn't hear him screaming.

Pleeeeeese! I need a do over! Somebody, anybody, help me!


Yellow Rose- GARY! Wake up! Gary, Gary, WAKE UP! 

Gary- Wuh, wuh, happen? 

Yellow Rose- You fell asleep, Gary, and you must have had a whopper of a nightmare! You're still going on Glirkmas vacation, aren't you?

Gary-I'm not skipping Glirkmas no matter what, this year!
Wow! Nothing is more important than being with my family and friends!

Gary's beeper thingy goes off!

Beep, beep beep, beep! Gary answers.

Gary-The Supreme Glirkheads want me to go to Xerox on a mission! 

Yellow Rose- Come on, let's go together! Then we will still have tom for our family Glirkmas celebrations! You wouldn't be able to survive the mission by yourself, anyway!

Gary- What! I could do that mission with one antenna tied behind my back! I mean, you can tag along, but I'm really a tough guy on my own, of course if you REALLY wanna go, I ain't gonna stop ya!

I have to keep Gary from shooting himself in the foot! LOL!

I heard that...but Merry Glirkmas, anyway!

Christmas Eve Poem OF 2013

Reindeer poop in little bags,

I love the gifts that we call gags,

Funny sweaters with funny faces,

Tickle me in funny places.

A lump of coal can make me laugh,

Or a rubber duck to share my bath,

Another thing that makes me grin,

Is a Santa beard for my chinny, chin, chin.

A Christmas album by Tiny Tim,

A rubber strap called "Your Home Gym,"

Some Silly String can make things bright,

Or a "leg lamp" to give some light!

A plastic mold of doggie vomit,

A blacklight poster of Dasher and Comet,

I'm not gonna say what they are doing,

But it's really fun to see them...on that poster.

A Cubs cap for a Cardinals fan,

A real old fruitcake in a can,

Uncle Max weighs about 450,

So a thong for him would be real nifty!

I love the stockings filled with toys,

And treats to bring your house pets joys,

There's nothing that can bring more glee,

Than when Fido pees upon the tree.

So when you get your silly present,

Just smile and act so very pleasant,

You'll get them back, 'cause you will trick it,

With that phony lottery ticket!

MANESS MUSIC MONDAY

WOW!

My "Sad Depressing Song" has over 700 views now!

I know it's Christmas on Wednesday, but I had to share the joy of getting over 700 views on YouTube on just one song!

Once again I thank you guys for the big response to this utterly depressing song!

You ROCK!

CHRISTMAS IS WEDNESDAY!

Since Christmas is Wednesday, I thought I'd share some of my past Christmas wideos!

HAVE DA MERRIEST OF CHRISTMAS YULE TIDE JOLLY AND GORK ON DONNY DAYS! YAAAAAAAAAAy!!!!!!

FAMILY CHRISTMAS GATHERING

We are having our family Christmas party today, on Dec. 21st, because Donna has to work on Christmas day!

We have done this before and it always feels exactly like Christmas to me!

I guess Christmas by any other date would be as sweet, or whatever Shakespeare or Dickens said about it! 

Yes! I will do a video of the festivities, and it will look something like this!

MERRY MERRY MERRY CHRISTMAS!

I just want to thank the sweet person 
that helped us get our car fixed on Tuesday! You know who you are!

I want to thank Greg and Dan for playing my song and letting me do funny stuff on their radio show! 

My wife, for putting up with my grumpy moods!

My special YouTube friends who make me feel special!

For Jesus!

For Snoopy!

Merry Christmas, again!!!!

Yaaaaaaaay!

http://www.biography.com/people/oscar-wilde-9

THOUGHTFUL THURSDAY

I don't know much about Oscar Wilde, but his quote below is one of the most profound things I have ever read!

How often have we said, "What does she see in him?"

Or maybe, "What does he see in her?"

According to Mr. Wilde, it's not in the seeing at all that makes us love someone. It's all in the hearing! However, not hearing with our ears, but with our hearts.

Everyone has an inner song they sing that only they can hear, but at times, in some beautiful, magical way, God allows another person to hear that song.

No amount of wealth, beauty, poverty, shabby or fancy clothes, hot cars, deformities, poor grammar, skin color, nationality, or ANYTHING, can overrule the powerful attraction of that inner song that only you can hear in that special individual.

What a special gift God gives when he let's us hear the inner song of someone who, on the surface seems ordinary, but then he allows us to hear the most beautiful, awesome, magnificent song pouring out from their wonderful, loving soul! 

Not a song with words and music, but one of the spirit, of feelings, born of pain and joy, of laughter and crying, that touches not your ears, but the deepest part of your heart.

Have you heard that song from another?

If so, God has blessed you beyond compare!

OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY

As you may recall, Gary was surprised by the Ghost of Glirkmas Past, who would soon show him all his past Glirkmas  joys, memories, experiences, warm hugs, fireplaces, dear friends, and festive fiestas...olay!

The GOGP magically makes a giant movie screen appear on Gary's poop deck of his shiny silver space ship, and tells Gary to sit down in front of it.

The room grows dark, ancient Glirkmas music begins the softly play, and...and...then...uh...nothing happens!

The music stops, the lights turn back on, and there's Gary, sitting in front of a blank screen!

"What gives?" Gary says in an irritated manner.

GOGP-"Don't you get it, Gary? You were always so busy training at the Academy, going on missions, saving worlds, fighting evil villains, and being a hero, you never had a REAL Glirkmas!"

Gary thought, that's right, THIS would be my FIRST REAL Glirkmas celebration EVER!

"A word of warning," said the GOGP! "Do not let ANYTHING prevent you from having a Merry Glirkmas this year!" 

Suddenly, he turned into sparkly little stars, and floated through the wall of Gary's shiny space ship!

"That was so cool!" Gary loved the little sparkly stars fer sure!

Gary nods off to sleep again, and wakes up to the sight of Yellow Rose celebrating Glirkmas at her home! He can see her, and all her family and friends, but they can't see him! 

Someone...or...something taps Gary on his shoulder (does he have a shoulder?), and he sees a beautiful girl ghost that introduces herself as the Ghost Of Glirkmas Present! 

Ghost Of Glirkmas Present- "Gary, see how much fun Yellow Rose is already having with her loved ones?"

Gary- "Yeah, but how did she beat me home! We both had to travel the same distance, and she's already celebrating!"

GOGPRESENT- "You're missing the point, Gary! See how Yellow Rose is able to relax and enjoy her holiday without worrying about saving the universe? You need to chill and enjoy your Glirkmas holiday when you arrive!"

Gary- Talking to himself- "How did Yellow Rose beat me?"

GOGPRESENT- "Oh, brother!" 

The Ghost Of Glirkmas Present now gives up, and turns into blue smoke, seeps through a small pin hole in a port hole of Gary's shiny spaceship, and is gone!

What will Gary experience now?!!

Return here on Glirkmas day to find out!!

By the way, Glirkmas is on the same day as Earth's Christmas!

A FEW MORE LINES FROM MY BOOK

We always got a real Christmas tree. It wasn't really
Christmas without a real evergreen tree like Jesus had.
It was purchased around Dec. 1 every year. (Dad would
say he stole it off the lot). 

It was taken down on NewYears day.
Needless to say, when we took it outside and put a
match to the sucker, it simply exploded like raw gasoline.

I looked forward to that each year.
It is nothing short of a miracle that we didn't have a
major fire in our home with mom and dad smoking their Pall
Malls, candles, and me, loving the whole concept of beautiful
fire.

I can't remember mom ever buying a decoration for the
tree. They were all heirlooms or something made by the kids
in school.

I made the world's ugliest ornament by putting paper
mache on a potato, painting it white, and dabbing red spots
on it. ( My mom cherished it.

The ornaments were old, faded and chipped. They
ranged from big round ones, the size of a grapefruit, `to
very small, like a cherry. Then, there were the long, slender
ones that, I think, were supposed to look like the Christmas
star. They had real fragile centers that would disintegrate
at the slightest touch. (Whoops, there goes another one,
Sorry!)












We had some paper chains, popcorn strings, tinsel, and a
well worn silver star on top.

We believed with all our heart, that we had the most
beautiful tree in town.

When brother Dick got married and moved out, he got
an aluminum tree that had a color wheel that reflected
three different colors in succession.

We viewed it as a sacrilege,
A real Christmas required a real Christmas tree!

Christmas Eve. St. Louis. Circa 1960.

Outside the frosted kitchen window (by the way, the
frost looked like' little white pine trees or tiny little
ferns that God painted around the edges of the pane of
glass)

I saw the misty hoar frost upon the lawn (not to be confused
with "hooker" frost), and suddenly, huge snowflakes
(about the size of pit-bull puppies), started falling down, oh,
so gently.

Down, down, down, then up a little and down again and; a
little to the left, then right a wee bit, rocking to and fro in
the sacred Christmas wind that once cooled the manger
where Jesus slept so adorably.

Pure, white, pristine, unadulterated snow. (About three
feet deep, according to the bicycle handlebars).

The porch light revealed hidden "diamonds" in the
frozen white "angel's dandruff", while a bunny had to hop
way up and down, way up and down, to transmigrate himself
(or herself) through the deep cold pile of a billion unique and
completely individual, snowflakes.

MAHESS MUSIC MONDAYS

A little Christmas video I did at one time in my lice.

Merry Christmas!