OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY

Size does not matter in the vast expanse of matter and anti-matter we like to call the universe. 

What's the matter? I'm using the word "matter" too much? Does it really matter? 

An awesome view of the Matterhorn.

What was I talking about? I forgot!

Oh, yes! Size does not matter in the outer reaches of outer space (hey, I think I'm having an outer-body experience) where there are gigantic creatures, as big as our Earth, on down to itty bitty creatures that are 100 trillion times smaller than a quark! 

quark¹

kwärk/

noun

PHYSICS

1. any of a number of subatomic particles carrying a fractional electric charge, postulated as building blocks of the hadrons. Quarks have not been directly observed, but theoretical predictions based on their existence have been confirmed experimentally.

In fact, our super heroes, Yellow Rose and Gary, are only about four, earth inches, tall, but they are celebrated and revered by every race, creature, tribe and tongue that have respect for whatever is good, true and lovable! 

Almost every encounter with gruesome, fuggly, snarling, dirty creatures is like a David and Goliath scenario! 

Remember the Roadhouse movie with deep voiced Sam Elliot, and little Patrick Swayze, where everybody kept telling him,"I thought you'd be bigger," and then he would kick mucho buttinski? 

Do you see the stunning similarity of Patrick Swayze to Gary and Yellow Rose? 

What do you mean...NO?!

This whole tom I've been trying to get it through your thick skull that...whoops...sorry...I should realize that complex space theories and complicated inter-dimensional concepts are not easily understood by rookie humans.

The point is...let's see...the point proves to be...umm...you don't have to be big and burly, you can even look a little girly, with a little girly grin...and STILL WIN, WIN, WIN!! 

Just like Yellow Rose and Gary ALWAYS do, do, do!!

If you have been reading my blog for a long tom, you already know Yellow Rose as a master at weaponry (with quite a gun collection), a super master of the ancient martial art of keek-yo-bott, a tactical, analytical genius, and kinda cute!

As for Gary...he is..umm...let's see...not afraid to try ANYTHING...even if Yellow Rose thinks it's a dumb idea!

That's why they make such a great team! Gary is always stepping into deep doo-doo (see doggie above), and Yellow Rose gets him out of trouble! Which makes for exciting, and funny adventures! 

Remember, they are pretty small creatures, but have defeated adversaries a thousand times their size, over and over again! 

How?!

God helps them! Every mission they go on is a mission from God! (Like the Blues Brothers)

There is no other way they could overcome all of the insurmountable odds without the help of Jehovah Jireh!

Question: "What does it mean that God is Jehovah-Jireh?"

Answer:“Jehovah-Jireh” is one of the many different names of God found in the Old Testament. “Jehovah-Jireh” (or YHWH-Yireh) means "The LORD Will Provide" (Genesis 22:14). It is the name memorialized by Abraham when God provided the ram to be sacrificed in place of Isaac.

Ain't it cool that Yellow Rose and Gary worship the same God as you and me?  Whoda thunkit! 

Unless you're an atheist or egg-nostik or something like that! That would be sad, because how ya gonna defeat gargantuan, humongous, wicked enemies without Jesus...hmmm? 

For all you uninitiated that don't know...Jesus/Jehovah/ Yahweh/ King Of Kings/ Mighty God...all names for the creator of all things who will help us in the same manner as he did with Noah, Moses, King David, Daniel...and Yellow Rose and Gary! 

Ain't that good news?!

Sure it is! 

Now don't you feel better?! 

Good! 

God bless you!

OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY

For 64 miserable years the inhabitants of the planet of Zooba had suffered under the tyrannical leadership of Grushane Bohama!

All of their, joy, privacy, riches, fun, fast food places, (including 50 ounce soft drinks), cute pets, firearms, Christmas Festivities, and "hoochie coochie" was forbidden under this cruel dictator! 

The Zoobanites were fed up...especially about the no "hoochie coochie" thing! 

We now look in on a Zoobanite secret meeting to find out what they intend to do about this debilitating, devastating dituation...I mean, situation. (I got wrapped up in alliteration for a second)

Chairman Zooba Dooba - "Who has any ideas on how to rid our planet of this wicked taskmaster, Bohama, and his oppressive government that will not even let us do the "hoochie coochie!"

Zoozoo Pitts - "Off with his head!"

Chairman Zooba Dooba - "We know how you feel Zoozoo, but let's not lower ourselves to Bohama's standards, and to be perfectly honest, we don't have any warriors mighty enough to defeat Bohama and his butt ugly Martian guards!" (They were very, very ugly!)

Zaany Zooba - "Let's contact Force Five Of Faulderous (here I go with alliteration again), they defeated the Giant Shrimp (an oxymoron) of Oceanopus!"

Chairman Zooba Dooba - "I hate to tell you this, but all 5 0f them were eaten by the miniature T. Rex (yet another oxymoron, sort of) of Russuvian! 

Zooby Doobie - "Are the Gentle Giants Of Gath still fighting for truth, justice, and the Gathian Way? We could ask them to help us destroy Bohama and his butt ugly forces!"

Chairman Zooba Dooba - "I'm sure they would be willing to help us, but they are doing their good works in an alternate universe at this tom, and we have no way of contacting them."

Zoobie Doobie - "Okay, I understand, but who's Tom?"

Chairman Zooba Dooba - "Nevermind that, now who has another suggestion on heroes we can summon to give us relief from this maniacal bully, Bohama!"

Zitz Zoober - "How about Yellow Rose and Gary!"

A hush comes over the members of the secret committee, and then..and then...they ALL bust out LAUGHING!!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha, Hee hee hee hee, Hoo hoo hoo...

What? Why are they laughing at our beloved heroes?

This makes no sense! 

We can find our answer in next weeks OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY!!

Be there or be....oval! You thought I was gonna say square, didn't ya?!

Love ya for reading this dysfunctional ditsy drama! 

(Yes, I'm really into alliteration today! Ha!)

THOUGHTFUL THURSDAY

I just realized I have not done a "Thoughtful Thursday" blog posting for many moons, and I would be remiss if I didn't hunker down and do one on this year of our Lord of Oct. 2, 2014.

If any of you recall, you will remember that I always write "Thoughtful Thursday" in soothing colors, non-offensive words, with love, compassion, and heartfelt, umm, what word do I want to use here...empathy...yeah...that's the word...EMPATHY!

I am a bit of an empath, FYI.  When I watch America's Funniest Videos I can REALLY feel the pain when those dudes get hit in the "family jewels" with a pinata bat! OUCH!

Furthermore, when one of my 7 granddaughters gets a scraped knee or elbow or something, I feel their pain so much I can't even look at the injury, and let someone else take care of it! Ewww!

So, my dear friends, I write "Thoughtful Thursday" in a compassionate, relaxing, empathetic way, to make all of you feel refreshed, as if you were floating, floating, floating on a soft, puffy cloud, like in a toilet paper commercial.

At this tom, why don't you go draw yourself a bath...using a #2 pencil. You can trace if you like.
Then draw a picture of your naked self in the bathtub, with scented candles all around, and a glass of wine on the edge of the tub, if it will balance there without falling into the tub and breaking, where then you'll have to watch out for the broken glass that...Oh, I almost forgot...this is only a drawing! Whew! What a relief! 

Now, take that little sketch and tie it to a helium balloon, while playing Beethoven's 9th symphony on your cars C.D. player, and watch the balloon, along with your work of art, drift, climb, float, float away up to the "cloud," where all of your computer files are stored.

Do you see, by now, how all of this, uh, STUFF, is taking away your stress, anxiety, heartache, fears, trepidation, and bloating?

You don't? 

You say, it's not working?

Okay, then buy a bottle of Jack Daniels, pour just a wee bit into a thimble (if you still have a thimble), throw that thimble over your shoulder for good luck and polish off the rest of the bottle of whisky!

That's what will MAKE SURE you enjoy your "Thoughtful Thursday!" 

Oh, behave, Mama!

OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY

The magnificent universe that God created so intricately and precisely is inhabited by zillions of diverse, interesting, creatures. Some are good and some are bad. Some are happy, some are sad. Most are just like you and me. They want to love, be loved and free! 

Here are just a few examples of races of alien creatures that show us it takes all kinds to make a universe.

The Zantac race...The Zantacs are a race of creatures that are round in shape, like beach balls. Instead of walking, they bounce here and there, and are basically a happy race. (Wouldn't you be, if you bounced from place to place?)

The Zantac civilization is not highly developed, like many others, but they are fun loving, never have wars, and their world is colorful and carefree. 

However, that has been a lure for warlike civilizations to come and try to destroy them and steal all of their resources, like gold, silver, diamonds and their vast amounts of Diet Coke, that is the most sought after treasure in the universe!

The Negabite race...The Negabites are an example of creatures who try to take advantage of weaker, defenseless creatures like the Zantacs. 

Negabites are butt ugly, cranky, bitter, and are always negative about EVERYTHING!

The 7 planets they live on are all desolate, void of vegetation, dark and dirty. All of the animals are vicious and bite each other, and the weather is either boiling hot or bone chilling cold on all 7 planets. (Hmm, I guess I would be a bit cranky, too.)

The Knownuttin race...The Knownuttin race of creatures are tremendously strong, have huge ears and 3 large eyes, that give them super vision and hearing. However, they have the unique ability to make themselves deaf and blind, whenever there is something they wish to avoid. 

This avoidance technique has allowed them to be relatively happy by not having to deal with the problems of others, but their civilization is literally disintegrating around them 

without their even realizing it!

The Esor Wolley race...(By the way...Esor Wolley is Yellow Rose spelled backwards) The Esor Wolley's are amazingly kind and caring. They are loyal to their family and friends and have really cute offspring! They are well known for their love and compassion throughout all the known galaxies! (And even throughout the Ford Fairlanes)

Like the Zantacs, they become targets for all of the evil, maniacal, villains who can't stand to see a race of happy creatures! 

Now, here is where Gary and Yellow Rose (our wonderful super heroes) come in. 














They are members of the Glirkazoid race, who are quite the exception to the rule, in the vast expanse of space.

A few Glirkazoids accidentally crash landed on Earth at the same exact time Jesus was born, became friends of the Lord, over the years, and became believers. When two of them were "rescued" from the Earth and went back to their home planet of Glirka, they spread the good news, and now most Glirkazoids are Christians, including Gary and Yellow Rose! (Most of the Glirkazoids that crash landed on Earth remained there to help earthlings to advance in many ways.) 

Anyway, Yellow Rose and Gary carry out their dangerous, adventurous, thrilling missions to help ALL creatures, in spite of their religious beliefs, weird cultural differences, strange, hideous, physical oddities, (Of course, they think we are oddly deformed here on Earth), and even financial deficiencies...BECAUSE THEY ARE CHRISTIANS! 

Yaaaaay, Gary and Yellow Rose!!

Wow! Now we understand why Yellow Rose and Gary don't care about money, fame, material things, politics, or nuttin' unimportant, honey! Their main focus is saving others and working for Jesus to help create the perfect universe! 

Next week we will enjoy yet another magnificent, stimulating adventure of OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY, gang!!!! Hope ya'll come along!!!

MY FIRST VIRAL VIDEO!

None of my videos have gone viral over the years, but I think this one will finally do it!

Is it because I wrote an awesome song?

I did, but no!

Is it because I was a master videographer, like Yozie of Yoz Creative fame?

No way!

Then WHY do I think this particular video will go viral? 

It's because of this face.

Any questions?

OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY

The extreme blackness of the cave was only an eensy weensy obstacle, compared to the 2 headed, shark toothed, "growler," that was remaining ever so quiet in hopes that Gary and Yellow Rose would stumble into his or her clutches! (It's hard to discern the sex of a "growler" without risking your life!)

The caves on the planet of Mimmerritt were known for their beautiful, gigantic rock formations, stalactites, stalagmites, and...and...uh, oh...ferocious "growler beasts" that would slink out of the caves at night to eat unsuspecting victims of the Mimmerritt population! 

Gary and Yellow Rose had been sent by the High Command of the planet Glirka, (the Supreme Glirkheads) to rid this defenseless planet from these terrifying critters!

Gary - "How many of these cockadoodie "growlers" have we emulsificated so far, Y.R.?"

Yellow Rose - "At last count, it was 222."

Gary - "How many more do we need to emulsificate?"

Yellow Rose - "This is it, Gary, and then we can head to our next extremely exciting and dangerous adventure!"

Gary - "Cool, Y.R.! Y.R.? Yellow Rose? Are you playing a joke on me? Where are you hiding?" 

Gary shines his light all around and Yellow Rose is GONE! All he can hear is the incessant growling of the "beast!"

We will be back to Out Of This World Wednesday in just a few moments, but now a word from our sponsor...

Gary's pulse began to pound at a high rate of speed, like the intro to the Hawaii Five o theme song, and sweat poured out of his sweat glands profusely as Grape Nehi! 

Did the nasty growler beast EAT Yellow Rose? Does he have her roasting on a spit? Is she, sniff, sniff, (a tear) gone FOREVER?

We will return to the amazing adventures of Yellow Rose and Gary after this brief message...

Gary - "Yellow Rose is NOT gone forever!" I can sense she is still alive somewhere in this dark, wet, dank, droomy cave, I mean gloomy cave, and if it takes 1000 years I'll find my pardner!"

What was that? Did Gary just hear the sound of Y.R's voice? 

Thank you for tuning in to OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY once again! Join us next week to find out if Yellow Rose survives! 

This episode of Out Of This World Wednesday was brought to you by...

VOLKSWAGEN