Out Of This World Wednesday...

Glirkazoids And Asteroids

In our last exciting episode we witnessed our super special spaze scouts, Gary and Rosie, escaping the belly of the fearsome flying spaze monster with the scientific name of  philiskaptiustackadacdanipickathiseatacusallieus (aka Phil).

Phil

Gary - "What a slimy mess, Rosie! We have philiskaptiustackadacdanipickathiseatacusallieus guts all over the Silver Sausage spazeship!"

Rosie - "That's the downside of exploding a philiskaptiustackadacdanipickathiseatacusallieus from the inside out, but a quick zap from our laser phaser cleaning tool (Rosie presses a white button  on the dashboard) will eliminate that gelatinous junk in just a phark!" (a phark is half a specknik)

Gary - "Wow! That actually worked, Rosie! The Silver Sausage is as clean as a Plurillian Plunging Pool before a health code inspection..but why or we glowing?!"

Rosie - "That's the downside of zapping that gooey slime, but the upside is we won't need to turn on any lights for two daatrums!"

At that, an urgent message comes across the Urgent Message Device (U.M.D.), and it goes something like this...

Flying boulders, watch for rocks,

asteroids can knock your socks,

make corrections, change directions,

stones will 'cause deep imperfections,

in the Silver Sausage hull, 

very soon life won't be dull!

Your friend, Rhymesauce

Gary - "Hey! Whaddaya know? Good ole Rhymy sent us one of his cool rhymes, Rosie! We haven't heard from him in several millenniums of time dimensional stratos..."

Rosie - "You idiot! This is not just a poem he sent for our amusement! It's a ...

Rosie and Gary look out at the dark blackness of  spaze ahead of them and see a sea of asteroids heading for them! Or maybe the Silver Sausage is heading for the asteroids! Either way, they will soon be in some deep sheep dip! 

Gary - "Oh, my, Rosie! How will we make it to Neprotonicus 11 to take the Great Jewel of Neprotonicus 11 to Neprotonicus 12, before Neprotonicus 11 implodes, if we cannot skillfully circumnavigate through this massive asteroid field that Rhymy warned us about...a bit too late?!"

Rosie - "You moron, the warning would not have been too late if you hadn't taken the time to watch your favorite Rhymesauce video before scanning the perimeter!!"

Gary - "I LOVE it so much, Rosie! Rhymy mentions "peaceful Glirkazoids" at the end of it!"

Rosie - "Not exactly, Bozo! He ACTUALLY  mentions Glirkazoids "who come in peace!"

Gary - "Same difference, goofball!"

Rosie - "VAST difference, turrlick head!!" (a turrlick is a hideous creature from the planet of Zonatross with a gigantic head and teensy weensy brain)

Whilst our iconic spaze warriors bicker like bickerbatts (bickerbatts are creatures...never mind), the Silver Sausage spazeship whizzes into the John Astin Asteroid Belt, unnoticed by our guttural growling Glirkazoids! (Glirkazoids begin making creepy guttural sounds in even the mildest of disputes)

Rosie - "GARY!!! LOOK!!! We just whizzed into the John Astin Asteroid Belt, how will we navigate the billions of asteroids?"

Gary - "We won't NAVIGATE the billions of asteroids, numbskull...we'll CIRCUMNAVIGATE the big rocks!"

Rosie - " How can we circumnavigate the asteroids when we're already in the middle of them, dufus?! Circumnavigate means to go around them!!"

Gary - " Here I'm trying to save our Glirkazoid glutes, and you are hooked up on semantics, Rosie! CIRCUMnavigate means to zig zag through the John Astin Asteroid Belt, NOT, GO AROUND!!"

At this point, Rosie and Gary begin emitting the low, menacing, guttural sounds again, whilst the sound of rocks hitting the shiny hull of the Silver Sausage spazeship keep getting louder and louder!!! 

Rosie - "Even though I'm right about the meaning of circumnavigate, we need to do something before we get knocked around like a pinball in a pinball machine!" 

Rosie and Gary both speak at once..."We'll BLAST our way through!!! 

In half a nanu sekkond, Rosie sets the enormous emulsificator on spray (like those spray bottles that have the off/stream/spray settings, and the death dealing asteroids are totally emulsificated into smoking ash!!!

Rosie - "That worked REAL good, Gary! Did you ever notice how ofTen we get out of trouble at the last moment?"

Gary - "It's not ofTen...it's pronounced offen...the t is silent!"

Rosie - "Who told you that, butter brain?"

Gary - "It's ALWAYS been that way, stoopnagle!"

Let's leave our spaze heroes before they start growling at each other again, shall we? 

Mark your Glirkazoid Spaze Calendar for next Wednesday, so you will not miss another dynamic episode of...

OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY!!!

Freewheelin' Friday..Hold On Tight

I'm justa hankerin' to call this "Freewheelin' Friday," because Friday is a good day for feelin' free, drivin' your "wheels" to nowhere in particular, blowin' the stink off, relaxin', takin' a well deserved break, and preparin' yoself fo a wild and woolly weekend, brothers and sisters!!

That's not all, friends! On Friday I write Bloggadocious 222 with a, kinda, reckless abandon, that may be impossible for the uninitiated to comprehend, but not for YOU, my faithful blog readers.

Group photo of my faithful readers. 

For instance, I distinctly remember when my dad bought a convertible car when I was about 3 years old, I think, and a hail storm came through St. Louis and destroyed the top! After that, a careless ash from a cigarette, inadvertently, flew into the back seat and caught it on fire, so thereafter, us kids had to sit on wooden boxes back there until dad bought a new car.

We will refer to that car as "Old Lucky," if we ever have the rare opportunity to mention it again.

What else? Oh, yeah, the time I was swimming in the river at Sam A. Baker State Park in Missouri (I think it's a river...maybe just a big creek), anyway, I did a handstand on the bottom of the river/creek, and a 4 inch piece of "bob-wire" went through my hand, right under the thumb area. It hurt!

Actual photo of location where I was skewered at Sam A. Baker State Park

My dad pulled out the wire, and my mom was gathering everybody up so I could go to the doctor for a tetanus shot. However, my old grandpa Estey was there with us, and said we should just rub some dirt on it, or axle grease, or something, and my mom (who was never at a loss for words) said "shut up you old fool," or something like that, and I got the shot. 

I know that none of this makes one speck of difference in your lives, and I totally understand that. On the other hand, very shortly, the world will change into a place where simple story telling, anecdotes, off the cuff remarks,  jive talkin', extemporaneous speech, impromptu language, over the fence conversations, and basic chatter will be a thing of the past. It will be replaced by electronical, politically correctigated, monitored, sterilized, government approved, safety equpped, non-hurtful speech!! 

And brothers and sisters, we're about two steps away!!!

WHAT AM I DOIN' WRONG, GANG?

Okay, gang...what am I doin' wrong? 

The views on my blog slipped a bit yesterday, I'm back to receiving 0 to no comments again, and my back is killing me!

I know we are preoccupied with less important thangs, like vacations, domestic terrorism, trade wars, the trouble at the border (those Canadians need to back off), and  dogs making poo poo in our front yards...but don't you REALLY need to get your ducks in a row, priority wise, and focus in on Bloggadocious 222?

I have included a comprehensive questionnaire to scientifically narrow down the culprit, metaphorically speaking, 'who" is sabotaging  my fabulous blog responses and stuff. 

1. I occasionally miss reading Bloggadocious 222 because...
a. I'm on vacation in Belize.
b. Taking Bosco to the dog groomer.
c. Forming a terrorist group against vegans.
d. Trimming my ugly toenails..ugh!
e. I have no idea.

2. I do not comment on Bloggadocious 222 because...
a. I've been abducted by Glirkazoids.
b. I only write in hieroglyphics. 
c. I don't REALLY read your crappy blog.
d. My religion forbids me to comment on ANYTHING.
e. I have no idea.

3. Danny, you could improve your blog by...
a. Having zero questionnaires.
b. Including more photos of puppies and kittens.
c. Giving out freebies for each comment received.
d. Making them much shorter, than even Tom Cruise.
e. I have no idea.

4. Bloggadocious 222 is too...
a. Political
b. Radical
c. Liberal
d. Unconstitutional 
e. I have no idea.

5. If I were writing Bloggadocious 222, I would...
a. Quit
b. Take a long walk off a short pier.
c. Send it to President Trump for review.
d. Stop being so dumb.
e. I have no idea.

Pencils down, class!

Let me thank you in advance for your edifying comments, suggestions and put downs! We value your amateur opinions, and will make every effort to disregard any and all comments that make us look bad, here at the Bloggadocious 222 Headquarters.

Good day!!

Gary

OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY...The Inside Story

Stuck In The Middle With You!

Rosie

When we last stalked dropped in on 

our intrepid (Intrepid - fearless, adventurous (often used for rhetorical or humorous effect), Glirkazoid superheroes, Rosie and Gary, they, along with their Silver Sausage spazeship, had been swiftly devoured by a monstrous spaze beast that we will call, Phil.

Phil 

Short for philiskaptiustackadacdanipickathiseaticusallicus

GARY - "So here we are, Rosie! In the belly of the beast!"

Rosie - "I don't know if I can stomach this, Gary!" 

Gary - "Do you have any digestions, I mean, suggestions?"

Rosie - "Wait 'till he poops us out?"

Gary - " Negative, Rosie. 

A philiskaptiustackadacdanipickathiseatacusallieus only poops every 700 yarstrabursts, and his/her stomach acid will soon eat through the Silver Sausage and disintegrate us in a matter of a specktic!" (a specktic is REALLY fast!!)

Rosie - "I have a gut feeling as to how we can get out of this mess, Gary!!"

Gary - "Would you stop with the tummy jokes! Why do you keep churning them out?"

Rosie - "All joking aside, I think I know how to make an exit out of "Phil's solar plexus!!

Remember the ancient Earth movie, Mars Attacks?"

Gary - "Yes! But you hate ancient Earth movies! How did you know about that one?"

Rosie - "I lost a bet. Anyway, when the earthlings played that Slim Whitman song, the Martian's heads exploded! Do you remember the song, Gary?"

Gary - "Sure I do! It was Indian Love Call!"

Rosie - "Oh dear, we can't play that one, because it makes Glirkazoid heads explode as well!"

Gary - "Why don't we blast out OTHER terrible ancient Earth songs over our loud speakers that we know do not make our heads explode, but may work on Phil, or Phyllis?"

Rosie - " Fabulous idea, Gary! Here goes...

At the playing of the last horrific song, "Phil" explodes into a million pieces, leaving the Silver Sausage spazeship and inhabitants intact! Although, very slimy! 

What will our fearless, Glirkazoid gladiators do now?

Join us next Wednesday to find out!!

How Will They Carry On?

It's getting more difficult to write an encouraging, somewhat humorous blog, amidst the heartless violence in the world today.

I can't imagine what it is like for those who lost loved ones in a senseless shooting. How do they carry on with their day to day activities after such a heartbreaking event in their lives?

Even as a Christian, I know I would find it hard to remove the hatred for the shooter from my heart, and not blame God for what happened. 

That's the rub, because if we don't forgive, and believe in God's love no matter what, we will be doomed to live a life of endless suffering and sadness, in perpetual disintegration of our soul.

I'm in total amazement when a news reporter interviews the parents of a child who was brutally murdered by some madman, and they express forgiveness for the murderer, and are comforted by the fact their child is in the arms of Jesus. 

I have to be honest. I want to be a Christian like that, and I pray that I'm a Christian like that, but I REALLY don't know if I could be that strong and faithful.  

But I would have to be, to be able to continue living and serving the Lord, and my family.

I pray for the family members of the victims of all the mass shootings in recent years. May God bless your efforts to forgive and carry on, knowing that God's love surpasses all of our understanding.