OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY

Necessary Preparation

You're gonna have to admit...the above GIF is really cool...even if the rest of  this blog stinks! Right? 

The above GIF is making me kinda dizzy, folks, but it's still cool...ugh...I feel kinda sick.

Anyway...

We carry you back to the fantastic adventures of our spaze cowboy and cowgirl, Gary and Rosie, who have just emerged, unscathed, from the John Astin Asteroid belt AND Phil, the gigantic, flying spaze monster!!

Rosie - "Look, Gary! Neprotonicus 11 is dead ahead!"

Gary - "Please, Rosie, don't use the word DEAD, after all we've been through! Why is the planet pulsating?" (Pulsating - expand and retract with strong regular movements)

Rosie - "Don't you remember, deadhead? The planet is due to implode at any moment! That's why all the inhabitants have transmigrated to Neprotonicus 12, where they will need the Great Jewel Of Neprotonicus 11 to provide power for their survival, kapeesh?"

Japanese "deadheads"

Gary - "Oh, yeah, and we have to transmigrate the Great Jewel BEFORE the planet implodes, but we have no idea WHEN it will implode, which makes our story a lot more exciting and suspenseful, even though our little Glirkazoid bodies will be incinerated and/or crushed in the massive implosion."

Rosie - "You got it, bro.! You up for dis?"

Gary - "Surely, but we need to prepare!"

Rosie - "I know we need to prepare, and don't call me Shirley!"

Gary - "I've got all of the items we need to complete the mission right here in front of me, girl. I'll name them, one by one, and you check them off the check list."

Rosie - "Righty oh!"

Gary - "Rope."

Rosie - "Check!"

Gary - "Grappling hooks."

Rosie - "Check!"

Gary - "Those lights that you shake and they go on."

Rosie shakes a light and it goes on. 

Rosie - "Check!"

Gary - "Reese's Pieces."

Rosie - "Check!!!"

Gary - "Small emulsificator."

Rosie - "Way way WAIT! Remember, even though all the inhabitants and domesticated animules  are off the planet, there are still vicious beasts remaining on Neprotonicus 11! Maybe we'll need the BIG emulsificator?!"

BIG emulsificator

Gary - "Beasts, shmeasts! I don't care! All I know is I'm not lugging the BIG emusificator up and down the hills and valleys of Neprotonicus 11, AND down into the cave where the Great Jewel Of Neprotonicus 11 resides!!" Unless YOU want to carry it!"

Rosie - "SMALL emulsificator. Check!!"

Rosie with small emulsificator

Gary - "Burlap bag."

Rosie - "Good thinking, Gary! We need to carry the Great Jewel Of Neprotonicus 11 in SOMETHING!"

Gary - " No, it's to put over your ugly head so you don't scare the folks on Neprotonicus 12, when we deliver the Great Jewel!"

Rosie - "Oh, you're so funny I forgot to laugh, elongated eyeball boy!"

Gary - "Cheap shot, Rosie! All the better to see you with! Ha ha! Get it? All the better to..."

Rosie - "Shut up."

As our brave spazetronaughts go over their all important check list, we ponder over the almost insurmountable mission they will trek out on, risking life and limb, with a smile and a grin, lest a beast do 'em in, or they fall on their chins, they will sink or will swim, so please join us again...

next Wednesday...for...

OUT OF THIS WORLD 
WEDNESDAY

Why Are Greg And Dan So Popular?

It is imperative (of vital importance, crucial) that you watch the following video, to thoroughly grasp the essence of this TUESDAY blog!

Today's special guests are the iconic, talented, often imitated, but never duplicated, hilarious, thought provoking, kind, self effacing, charitable, saintly, fatherly, knowledgeable, stars of the neo-classic Greg And Dan Show...

GREG AND DAN

No one REALLY knows where Greg and Dan came from, but they appeared on the Central Illinois scene immediately after the mysterious U.F.O. sightings near Highland Illinois...

The "St. Clair Triangle", "UFO Over Illinois", "Southern Illinois UFO", or "Highland, Illinois UFO" sighting occurred on January 5, 2000 over the towns of Highland, Dupo, Lebanon, Shiloh, Summerfield, Millstadt, and O'Fallon, Illinois, beginning shortly after 4:00 am. Five on-duty police officers around these locales, along with various other eyewitnesses, sighted and reported a massive, silent, triangular craft operating at an unusual treetop level altitude and speeds. One of the police officers even managed to get a single, yet ambiguous polaroid photograph of the object.^[14] The incident was examined in various television shows including the ABC special Seeing is Believing with Peter Jennings, an hour-long Discovery Channel special UFOs Over Illinois, an episode of the Syfy series Proof Positive and a half-hour-long independent documentary titled The Edge of Reality: Illinois UFO, January 5, 2000 by Darryl Barker Productions.

Coincidence? We think not. 

There was even an actual song written about this true, other worldly event...

Are Greg and Dan aliens from another world, or dimension? Greg and Dan enthusiasts say YES!

What else would explain their phenomenal success in so little time!

Maybe it's magic instead?

Greg's enormous head, which must certainly hold a super smart alien brain!

Dan's ability to do a LOT of push ups, far beyond the ability of mortal men!

Their indecipherable humor that is definitely a secret code for alien creatures who listen throughout the vast, diverse universe, and universes beyond that! 

The way they treat EVERYBODY with such love and compassion is concrete PROOF that they are not human!

I'm sure you have seen T.V. shows and movies where the aliens seem so nice at first, but then prepare to use us as food, right?

Did you notice the similarity between the aliens head and Greg's? 

Of course, I'm just tellin' ya what SOME PEOPLE SAY, but as for myself, they have treated me more kindly and generously than is humanly possible!!

They have put my far out, out of this world stuff on the radio many times, when absolutely NO ONE on earth would take such a risk!

The sound of other radio personalities rejecting my stuff.

Here is a link to their show that can be heard all around this place we like to call Earth, but Greg and Dan call it Zelop 3 for some strange reason...

https://www.1470wmbd.com/the-greg-dan-show/

Political Correctness Is Feckless

It's so hard being perfect in a politically correct world. Especially when you're 69 years old, forgetful and set in your ways, like someone I know. Me.

I never knew I was a racist, Islamophobe, homophobe, zenophobe, and white suppremicist, until recently. It comes as a big surprise, because I kinda like everybody that's nice to me, in spite of their race, national origin, or sexual orientation, which I NEVER ask about!

I do get a bit perturbed when someone tells me I'm not eating the politically acceptable foods, or not using gender neutral language, but that rarely happens, due to the fact I always look cranky, and no one wants to set me off.  An ugly scowl can be a blessing at times. 

My biggest problem in this P.C. generation is trying to remember all the rules! 

Should I hug a female of the opposite sex, or not? Is it proper to eat a pork chop sandwich while sitting next to a rabbi? Would I be in trouble if I told my grandkids that someone walking down the street looked weird? If I offered a homeless guy a job, would that be an insult to him? Is it unlawful to bop a bully in the nose? Can I still dress up in a Frankenstein's Monster costume on Halloween and terrify the little chitlins coming to my door? If I have a brief conversation with a local police officer, am I considered fraternizing with the enemy by left leaning individuals? Is putting my dog on a leash to take him for a walk considered doggie abuse, by P.E.T.A., or is swatting a fly insect abuse? 

Scary stuff! According to a lot of frustrated folks, we are destined to burn in Hades for an eternity by violating ANY of their made up rules...if they believed in Hades...and they don't.

In conclusion (you thought it would NEVER come, right?), remember what this legendary singer sang so many moons ago, that describes the attitude of the self centered "elite" finger pointers of the 21st century....

This video nailed it, right? Right? Maybe not.

Elvis Passed Away 42 Years Ago?

42 years ago, today, the greatest entertainer of all time (in my personal opinion) passed away at the age of 42. 

The whole world mourned. 

I was so fortunate to have been born at the perfect time to watch his entire career skyrocket into the stratosphere. 

From his first appearance on the Ed Sullivan Show to his record breaking performances in Las Vegas, he brought audiences to their feet in pure excitement, or made them weep, as he sang sweet, tender ballads or gospel tunes. 

It didn't hurt that he was so good looking that women fell in love with him and men wanted to BE him, which is evident from all the guys who did their best to imitate him. 

His voice was so velvety smooth that he could have sung the numbers in a phone book and it would have sounded wonderful! (I'll explain phone books to you young whipper snappers if you send me a text)

Elvis loved his mother, his country, his family, and his fans! Even though he fell victim to pain killers, he continued providing amazing entertainment to his fans up to the end!

There will never be another Elvis, and I'm so happy to have grown up in his era. 

In conclusion, my favorite Elvis movie is Blue Hawaii, and here is my favorite scene...

Maybe my favorite scene from ANY movie!!!

A Blog Every Cockadoodie Day

My sworn duty is to provide a humorous to hysterical blog for you EVERY SINGLE DAY! Not every other day, or Wednesday through Friday, or only two days of the week, but EVERY SINGLE COCKADOODIE DAY!!

I hope I didn't frighten you with the Kathy Bates gif from "Misery!" What an unsettling movie! I just got chills thinking about it!! Brrrrr!!!

Where was I? Oh, yes...I'm a big slacker!! I'm so far removed from my greatest cartoon hero, Horton!!

Horton was a stand up elephant! Well, he was sitting down on the egg, but STILL a stand up elephant...meaning he kept his promises, no matter what!! 

If you have no idea what I'm talking about, go back and watch the cartoon I pirated. It's very inspirational!! 

Yes, it's true that a lot of important issues have come up in recent days, but I'm not one to make excuses, brothers and sisters...I take full responsibility...the buck stops here...and don't take any wooden nickles!! 

Here's the skinny, folks! I try, I REALLY try to put up a blog article every day, but...(now, I'm not making excuses) there are certain "forces" that are working diligently to put the kibosh on my brilliant, beauteous, bold, beneficial, baffling blog!

Forces such as extradimensional beings traveling interdimensionally, to throw virtual monkey wrenches in my path to prevent me from creating my one dimensional blog!

My lawn...mostly weeds...and plants and flowers conspiring to keep me preoccupied with mowing, trimming, watering, feeding, singing to them, pulling them, and just glaring at them in a trance like state! (remember...these are not excuses...these are conspiracies and other worldly attempts to suppress Bloggadocious 222...(whadya mean, what's Bloggadocious 222?)

My talking inanimate objects around the house, like the dishes, who say, "wash us, waaaash us, that's the least you can do around the house, you lazy bum!"

Another force of nature is Chevy, the Chorkie dog, who cares not one whit about my blog legacy, but insists on taking me for a walkie every two hours, even when a blog deadline is impending!!

If all this sounds like a lot of lame excuses, you do not understand the seen and unseen entities, dead set on eliminating my bodacious, blossoming blog before it builds up the brains of you beautiful bloggies! 

I'll try to stay on schedule henceforth, my fellow Bloggadocians! 

Onward And Yonward!!!