Out Of This World Wednesday...

Climbing The Stairway To Havens

If you have been following our mildly exciting episodes of Out Of This World Wednesday, you'll probably remember that our Glirkazoid explorers have now reached the Stairway To Havens, that they will need to climb, to obtain the answer on how to defeat the Monster Of Malevalentay and release the Princess of Pyrotussin.

Rosie and Gary wave bye bye to the Deaf Dragon, who, fortunately, did not eat them...

and begin climbing the enormous amount of stairs that ascend up...up...up into the clouds where the wise and talented spirit of Richie Havens dwells in peaceful perpetuity. 

Gary - "Rosie, I..."

Rosie - "Don't say it, Gary!"

Gary - "Say what? I never..."

Rosie - "Shut your pie hole, buddy!!"

Gary - "But you don't even..."

Rosie - "YES I DO know what you're gonna say! You're gonna start complaining that you're tired, or hungry, or thirsty, or starting to chafe, or your feet hurt!! Right? Am I right?!!"

Gary - "Would I do that? Come on, Rosie! We're only on the second step!!"

Rosie - "Sorry, Gary. Just because you complain a lot on ALL of our missions, I shouldn't prejudge you on this one, my friend."

Gary - "Thank you! By the way, do you have any candy?"

Rosie sighs deeply.

This is not Rosie, but simply illustrates sighing.

Gary and Rosie make small talk as they climb the Stairway To Havens. Small talk? Get it? They are very small alien creatures (4 inches max) and...never mind.

Gary - "Did you know I saw Richie Havens 3 times, in concert, when he existed on the physical plane of, uh, existence?" 

Rosie - "I know, I know! You've told me a million times, Gary! Stop bragging!"

Gary - "I'm not bragging, Rosie. I just thought that is good info for you to know, as we decide who asks Richie the life and death question about how to defeat the Monster Of Malevalentay, that's all.

Rosie - "If you want to ask him the question, that's cool. I'm not obsessed with who's in charge, or who will be the official spokesperson."

Gary - "Me neither. So I'll just ask him, because you'd most likely be too scared anyways."

Rosie - "You've got a point, Gary! I've heard that since Richie is existing in the spiritual plane, he's very terrifying! He has a voice like thunder crashing, is enormous in size, has eyes like Helen Blazes, and is crabby when his peace is disrupted!!"

Helen Blazes

Gary - "Oh, I don't think he could have changed that..."

At that very instant, our Glirkazoid pals hear a thunderous voice from above the clouds...

Richie Havens - "WHO DARE CLIMB MY STAIRWAY TO HAVENS? I'LL FEED THEM TO MY GIANT RAVENS!! 

As Rosie and Gary turn around to scramble back down the stairs, they notice that all of the stairs below them have disappeared, and they have no choice but continue ascending to the dark fate that surely awaits them!

Gary - "It's REALLY getting foggy up here! It's as thick as pea soup! I feel like we're in a Sherlock Holmes or Werewolf movie from Earth's 1930's! 

Go to 0.55 for fog scene.

Rosie - "We are in the clouds, knucklehead! Which is WAY different than the fog in an old British movie!"

Gary - "Gotcha, govner...but a bloody werewolf may be creepin' about the moors, Sherlock! I ope you ave a eavy unting rifle, old chap!"

Rosie - "That's the worst English accent I've ever heard! Shouldn't we be more worried about the scary spirit of Richie Havens than mythical werewolves!"

Gary - "Elementary, my dear Sherlock, since we already errd the orrifying, ideous, art pounding  words of Richie's spirit an aff an our ago!"

Rosie - "Please cut it out, Gary! We have a serious mission to..."

Gary - "Rosie! Listen to that beautiful music!

Rosie - "It's Richie Havens, sitting on a log at the top of the Stairway To Havens and playing his Guild guitar, peacefully, in a paradisaic setting"

 paradisiac - relating to or befitting Paradise; "together in that paradisal place"; "paradisiacal innocence" paradisaic, paradisaical, paradisal, paradisiacal. heavenly - of or belonging to heaven or God.

Example of paradisaic setting.

Gary - "Cool! The Stairway To Havens ended in paradise! Are we dead?"

Richie - "No, man! You're not dead, and I'm not either. The stairway climbs up to the top of Mt. Magursky (that is hidden by the clouds), where I've been living, to escape the relentless paparazzi, after faking my death. 

Rosie - "What was that terrifying warning about giant ravens eating us?!!"

Richie - "Ha ha! Oh, that's my ADP security system! Which stands for Anti Dumb Paparazzi system. It works like a charm! I used imaginary giant ravens 'cause it rhymes with Havens."

Gary - "So YOU started those rumors about your spirit being so mean and nasty?"

Richie - "Guilty as charged, Gary."

Gary - "How did you know my name?"

Richie - "I know both of your names, Rosie and Gary!"

Rosie - "How?"

Richie - "Elementary, my dear Glirkazoid Gladiators...I read Out Of This World Wednesday every week!"

Wednesday!!!

Gary and Rosie - "What? What are you talking about?" 

Richie - It's not important. So, you want to know how to defeat the Monster Of Malevalentay and release the Princess Of Pyrotussin from his clutches, right?"

Gary and Rosie - (amazed over his amazing knowledge) "Riiiiight. 

Richie - "Okay! Here's all you need to do!

Well, well, well...Richie wasn't as bad as we thought.

Join us next Wednesday to find out how Richie edifies them on defeating the Mighty Monster Of Malevalentay!!!

Just wanted to give you a closer image of this ugly dude!

Greg Batton/Betty Jayne/ Jan 24

Greg Batton could possibly be the nicest guy in the world! 

Yes! Even as nice as this guy, was!

I can't be certain, because I haven't met everybody in the world. Not even all the guys.

As most of you already know, Greg is the Greg part of the popular Greg and Dan Radio Show in Peoria, Il.

As most of you may NOT know, he is also a funny stand up comedian, who I have seen perform at least two times, where he "rocked dahouze" with his cool brand of hilarity!

Houze On Darock

If you live in the central Illinois region, have a sense of humor, itching to get out of dahouze, enjoy laughing and having a ball...come to the Betty Jayne Brimmer Center For The Performing Arts (BJBCFTPA) this Friday, Jan 24, and have some fun for a change!

More info here...

https://www.thebettyjayne.com/

Here are 10 reasons to go, in no specific order of importance...

1. You've heard Greg on the radio but have no idea what he looks like, and are dying to know what kind of man goes with that deep, sexy voice. Photos don't do him justice...which is Greg's son's name. No, not Photo!

2. You're planning on shopping in "The Heights" anyway, so why not stop in and see Greg, as your guilty conscience will prod you to do.

3. You have NEVER been to a comedy show? You've never been to the Juke Box comedy club or nothin'?! Isn't it about tom!! 

Not this kind of Tom!

4. Wouldn't it be nice to be part of a "movement?" Just think if you had been there at the afore mentioned Juke Box Comedy Club and seen Richard Pryor, and encouraged him to keep on keepin' on! I'm not sure that was considered a "movement," but THIS could be!!

5. Maybe you'll see the lovely and talented Yvonne Greer, Greg's lovely and talented wife! I'm not guaranteeing she'll be there, but what if!!! 

6. What if other members of the Greg and Dan team are in attendance, hmmm? Julia, Dan, Ken, and the beloved Corey COULD make personal appearances that special night!! I can't confirm this, but isn't it worth a chance?!! Heck yeah, it is!!!

7. Peoria Heights is much closer than New York City, Los Angeles, Las Vegas and other exotic places where Greg will, most likely, be headlining in the future!  Save on gas!

8. If you already know Greg, and even if you don't, he may point you out in the audience, have you say your name, say some nice words about you. and you can be part of the whole experience!! Unless you're super shy, then he'll make sure he doesn't embarrass you...I think.

9. Marijuana is legal now. So this will be a safe zone, away from the "reefer madness" that has permeated the streets and back alleys of the Peoria area since Jan 1!  Liquor will be available!!

10. Most importantly, it's GREG'S BIRTHDAY on the 24th of Jan!! If you truly love Greg, you'll want to celebrate his birthday with him and hundreds of his loving family and friends!!! 

Don't let the weather keep you in, come to the BJ and cop a grin!!!

Penguin Project Plays In Peoria 

And All Over The U.S.!

I'm not going to go into the history and details of The Penguin Project, except for the fact it helps so many sweet kids to face challenges in a wonderful way!

Yesterday we attended the performance of "Legally Blonde Jr." in East Peoria, Il. The Penguin Project was totally responsible for the wonderfully delightful and funny production of this musical!

The cast was filled with kids who face various challenges every day, including our talented granddaughter, Brooklin, who has struggled with autism throughout her life. (By the way, she NAILED her part)

All of the brave children who performed had various degrees of obstacles to overcome, but they ALL soared way above anything that ever held them down, and they touched our hearts in a deeply emotional way.

The audience could not hold back the tears when they sang the traditional Penguin Project finale song, "Don't Stop Believing!" 

See for yourself in link below ...

https://www.facebook.com/ash.heeren1/videos/10100993512317122/

Even if you've been to a smash hit Broadway Show, I guarantee a Penguin Project production will touch your heart in a more profound, soul stirring way.


Link to Penguin Project info...

https://penguinproject.org/

Killer Snow On The Way..Or Not!

Why do the weather gurus always want to scare us with frightening forecasts? 

I already know one reason. They think it's better to forecast the worst, so when it's not so bad we'll all be happier than if they forecast  great weather and it's horrendous, and we are all mad. 

Ratings are another reason they give these ominous weather reports. "Stay tuned and get all of the life saving info you'll need to survive the blizzard of 2020, if you want to live!! 

Leave us go back and discuss the first reason they exaggerate the forecasts, which is to make us happy?

If you're like me (thankfully, most are not) you cancel important trips when the weather gods predict an "Alberta Clipper" or whatever name they think is cool, and so instead of being happy when the massive storm doesn't pan out, I'm upset because I cancelled my trip to my granddaughters first school musical or something!

How many of you have cancelled family reunion picnics because the "weather wizards" called for rain ALL WEEKEND, and then it did not rain a drop!

This picnic I would not mind cancelling!

If the weather dude or dudette came on and said, "We are going to get a few inches of snow, but, HEY, we live in Illinois, or Iowa, or Minnesota! We've been dealing with winter weather since we were babies! So get out there and do your thang, snow bunnies"...we would be good with that! (well, I would)

However, would that spike up the ratings for them? Probably not. 

Let's do a scientific comparison.

Which weather report, below, would get your complete attention?

1. "The forecast is for snow, but not really bad, you'll survive, unless you're an idiot."

2. "A gigantic storm, nicknamed the Polar Pulverizer, MAY be reaping death and destruction across the nation and ESPECIALLY in our region, with temps colder than a well diggers buttocks, creating the possibility of major school closings, and heart attack snow shoveling episodes for old geezers!! Keep watching...if you want to live!!"

Shoot! Number two is a lot more fun, but when it turns out to be a  5 minute rain shower, with balmy temps, and you cancelled your trip to Cape Canaveral (if Cape Canaveral still exists) to take your trip on a space rocket to Uranus...you are NOT a cheerful cosmonaut!!! (I say cosmonaut because it's most likely a Russian space vehicle)

So in conclusion. 

I love this quote about the weather that Mark Twain gets the credit for, but I guess someone else said it first. I don't know.

On Weather and Climate. Mark Twain (Samuel L. Clemens) has often been quoted as saying: "Everybody talks about the weather but nobody does anything about it." (although it appears his collaborator on The Gilded Age, Charles Dudley Warner, actually wrote the statement).

Charles DUDLEY Warner? Whatever.

Impeachment Trial 

An Exercise In Futility

Remember that boy or girl in elementary school who you had a crush on, even though there was no chance in H-E-double hockey sticks they would EVER even look at you sideways? Me too!

So you did everything you could to make an impression on this gorgeous individual, in hopes they would SOMEHOW fall in love with ordinary you.

If you were a boy (not saying you're still not a boy, er, I mean, a male) you volunteered to carry her books (backpacks didn't exist back then, except for soldiers and Europeans), help her with her homework (even though she was more intelligent), put your coat in a mud puddle so she could walk daintily across, in imitation of Sir Walter Cronkite. (I didn't mean the lovely girl imitated Walter...never mind)

You girls would act cute, giggle at the object of your attention's jokes, do his homework for him, write his name on stuff...like on one of those folded paper fortune telling things, and other various and flirty little things.

All that stuff you did, boys and girls, were exercises in futility. 

The most beautiful girl in school was not going to go steady with a plain, lowlife knucklehead like me, I mean, like some unnamed little boy, because of me that little boy doing a few deeds for her. No way! No how!!

Same way with the Adonis of a boy, who is not gonna give those poor little girls the time of day for their efforts.

I said all that to illustrate my point.

Yes! I DO have a point this time!

All of the efforts to yell, scream, provide secret evidence, bring in witnesses, obtain spy footage, smear reputations, recruit the media...are all futile!

The outcome is a foregone conclusion.

Okay, this is Clinton, but you get the idea.

What a waste of billions of pazoozas, time and energy for such an exercise  

in futility, when Trump can just be voted out in a few months! 

Right? Right?!!