Out Of This World Wednesday Special...Features Extra-Terrestrial Thanksgiving!!

As our beloved extra-terrestrials meandor around  this mysterious place they've found themselves in, that SEEMS like paradise, but may be fake heaven, they are confronted with another interesting creature, who is a very bouncy and enthusiastic tortoise!

Tortoise - Come, you must! Celebrating Thanksgiving, we are! Hurry, we need to!!

Rosie " Okay, okay! But why are you talking like Yoda?

Tortoise - "A cousin of mine, he is! Much stronger in the "force," I am!"

Gary - "Wha!! No one is stronger in the "force" than Yoda!  That's blasphemy! Come out of your shell and fight me, you slow slug!!"

At that, Gary finds himself underneath the quick as lightnin" tortoise, in a debilitating wrestlin' hold!! 

Tortoise -"Uncle, say!!"

Gary - "Uncle!"

Say Uncle

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For other uses, see disambiguSay Uncle (ation).

"Say 'uncle'!" is a North American expression demanding that the opponent in a contest submit. The response "Uncle!" is equivalent to "I give up" and indicates submission.

The tortoise releases Glirkazoid Gary, and simply beckons them to follow, which they do without hesitation, due to the fact that this tortoise is profoundly and fully filled with fountains of the force!

Rosie - "Look, Gary! That table must be 100 metrixes long, and filled with every variety of food to the MAX!!'

Gary - " Yeah, buddy! And lookie dare, entities from all over the multiple universes are assembled at the table to feast! Just like we do on our home planet of Glirka,  to thank God for giving us an abundance of stuff! Except we only allow pure blood Glirkazoids to partake of the food, as the "outsiders" slave for us."

Rosie - "Well, maybe this is a superior idea, Gary. Including EVERYBODY in the feasting, because we all serve the same God, namely Okrozhka!"

Instantly, the creatures at the table, who overheard Rosie, begin to say, "Okrozhka is not OUR God, we worship..." and then they begin naming the names of their personal Gods, like Qwertyyuiop...Vesxmeonoz...Wzyaqideam...Fred ... and the arguing, bickering, yelling and screaming becomes so intense, everyone leaves the Thanksgiving table!!

Gary - "Wow! From ancient Earth documentaries I've watched, this is like Thanksgiving in America 

, circa 2020!"

Rosie - "What have I done? I've ruined Thanksgiving in paradise! That's got to be about the worse thing a soul could do!!"

Tortoise - "Worry, you need not! Okay, everything will be! "Worry, you need not! Okay, everything will be! (Now the words begin to echo) "Worry, you need not! Okay, everything will be! "Worry, you need not! Okay, everything will be! 

The scene changes and we see Rosie and Gary waking up on the poop deck of the Silver Sausage Spazeship!

Gary - "Wha happen? Last thing I merember was being struck by a big asteroid on our way to Qzykranious, girl!"

Rosie - "I had the weirdest dream, Gary! I dreamed we woke up in Paradise where entities were claiming to be God, and we could wish for anythang we wanted and receive it, and I ruined Thanksgiving, because of my BIG MOUSE MOUTH!!

Gary - "Oh, shut up! We're not gonna end this story with a Bobby Ewing finale, are we?"

Rosie - "No, no! We're not ending this story, because we haven't resolved the dispute on Ozykranious yet!"

Gary - "Forget that stupid, fight, Rosie! No one can settle the conflict between meat eaters and plant eaters, so this is our final episode of this story...okay?"

Rosie - "Otay! However, next time we celebrate Thanksgiving on Glirka, let's invite non-Glirkazoids to eat, to show what a kind and loving race we are."

Gary - "Surely, as long as we can make fun of their bizarre eating habits!"

Rosie - Very well, but don't call me Shirley!

67,004 Total Pageviews!! What? Then Where Are All The Comments?

I'm sore confused, to use a biblical term.

I just noticed my total pageviews have jumped up to over 67,000, but I still only have 1, count him, 1 person who comments on my blog every day!!

Not a recent photo.

My ole school, buddy, Paul, who must have the heart of a lion, to continually comment on my dysfunctional drivel!!

Here's the way I figger. If I have 67,000 total pageviews, I should have, at least 67,000 comments, due to the fact my blog is so politically incorrect and/or compelling!

com·pel·ling

/kəmˈpeliNG/

Learn to pronounce

adjective

1. evoking interest, attention, or admiration in a powerfully irresistible way.

   "his eyes were strangely compelling"
2. 
   

On the udder hand, I have a long, painful record of being wrong, and there could be a billion diverse reasons for you guys not commenting. 

For instance...

1. Interference from extra-terrestrials, who are mad at me for revealing their world annihilating schemes! 

2. Computer glitches that work on my entire fan base, but NOT on Paul, who MAY be immune from computer glitches, due to his purity and faultlessness.

Paul on right...see how pure and faultless he looks?

3. Since you know I get slightly ticked off when y'all don't comment, you don't comment to slightly tick me off. 

4. You guys and gals are NOT tech proficient, and don't know how to put a gal durn comment in that confusin' comments box.

5. Even though you've been locked in for months, because of the Corolla-virus, you ain't got the tom to make a short comment on my hilariously, funny blob!

This Tom is not available.

In conclusion...

No Thanksgiving Or Christmas For You!

The Grinch Would Be So Happy! 

Okay, the old Grinch, before his heart increased in size, would be happy. 

I'm sure it's all a commie conspiracy, my friends!

The commies HATE our beloved holidays, so they created that nasty virus to keep us from gathering in large, loving family groups in celebration of our traditional festivities!

How mean!!

Now, I'm not talking about your every day, smiling, friendly Chinese citizen. They're delightful, and make delicious food!

It's the diabolical, elitist commie politicians, who must be more heartless than the Grinch, when the Grinch was in his early stage!

To tell the truth, I think Chinese babies are so adorable, and I can't even imagine them growing up to destroy our precious holidays, but it must happen, infrequently, or I wouldn't be able to spread this incredible conspiracy theory. 

I have the sneaking suspicion that most of us will secretly observe our holidays, with LOTS of family members, and be real sly about it, like first century Christians who were persecuted to the max!

As for me, I'm not sharing what I will do, because I don't want the "Christmas Cops" descending upon my abode, trashing my decorations, arresting my family members, and feasting on my turkey without permission...simply because I didn't observe the commie created social distancing mandate!! 

Just think, what would the Grinch do? Not the old, mean Grinch, but the converted Grinch with the triple sized heart! 

Sharing My Wisdom With The World

You're Welcome, World!

Wise folks do NOT wear dark clothing and walk along the shoulder of the highway at night, whilst olde people, who are blinded by the bright lights of oncoming cars are inadvertently cruising down the shoulder of the road, or 16 year old kids are texting, and swerving back and forth across the center line and then on to the shoulder, just like the drunks and druggies are doing!!

A wise individual believes NOTHING from the mouths of politicians, news anchors, telephone solicitors, your uncle Enos, talking animals (think Eve), talking trees (think Wizard Of Oz), strangers in hooded cloaks, and 99% of EVERYBODY with a mouth!!

A wise, sage-like human will go way up on a snowy mountain peak, wearing a white robe, sporting a long beard (unless she's a chick), walking barefoot, and make a fortune from needy followers who climb up there searching for the meaning of life, and after the sage-like dude/dudette receives the $100,000 consultation fee, tells the sucker seeker..."the meaning of life is discovered within your soul!" Easy money!!

Do not confuse wisdom with having a knack for something.

So many famous folks are called wise geniuses when they simply had a knack for a certain thing, like..

Lennon/McCartney - A knack for writing tunes.

Beethoven - A knack for writing tunes.

 Einstein - A knack for numbers.

Shakespeare - A knack for story telling.

Danny Maness - A knack for nonsense. 

Really! No, REALLY...I'm not a wise genius, no matter what Mensa says!! 

So in conclusion, be wise, but don't let nobody know! They can be sore jealous!!

Out Of This World Wednesday

Is This Heaven?

I trust you merember Gary and Rosie's situation at this moment in tom.

1.  On their way to bring peace to the planet of Oxykranious  I mean, OZYKRANIOUS, I've been misspelling that planet after the first episode! See why everybody says I'm so dumb?!

Sergeant Morgan O'Rourke:Agarn, I don't know why everybody says you're so dumb!

[after switching to the next scene]

Corporal Randolph Agarn:
Who says I'm dumb? 

F Troop.

2. Their Silver Sausage Spazeship is struck by an errant asteroid and our Glirkazoid Guardians Of The Galaxy wake up in a heaven-like place!

3. They find a couple of strange entities who claim to be God, and discover that whatsoever they desire is delivered to them with mucho haste!

Gary - "Rosie , You need to stop denying this 
is heaven, girl! If we act with a lack of faith, 
THEY might send us to the "Bad Place!"

Rosie - "How do we know this isn't like 
that season ending episode of Dallas, or was it the 
season's beginning, where Bobby's death 
was only a dream!! We could still 
be unconscious 
in the Silver Sausage, dreaming all of this!!"

Gary - "We're both having the same dream? I 

don't think so, Rosie!"

Rosie - "No, no! Either you're having 

the dream or I'm having the dream, and we are 

imagining we're talking to each other!"

Gary - "You make about as much sense as a 

screen door in a U.S.O.!"

My, Oh my! A dream? Reality? A fake 

representation of heaven created by a 

mysterious alien race? 

Will we EVER know the answers?

Maybe?

Join us next week for...