Read This Blog For Big Blessings!

So, I'm exactly like you when it comes to perusing Facebook. 

pe·ruse

/pəˈro͞oz/

Learn to pronounce

verb

FORMAL

gerund or present participle: perusing

1. read (something), typically in a thorough or careful way.

   "he has spent countless hours in libraries perusing art history books and catalogues"

   • examine carefully or at length.

     "Laura perused a Caravaggio"

I carefully search for everythang that is meaningful, or interesting to me, me, ME!

Of course, just like you, I enjoy random photos of kittens, puppies, cute babies, chitlins at play, and such as that...but...and this is a BIG BUTT.. 

I do not like it when folks challenge my faith, by saying..."if you love Jesus, type in amen," or "God will send you blessings in 24 hours if you click on this"...or "you're not a Christian if you scroll past this post without writing HALLELUJAH!"

What? God reads Facebook? I mean, I thought I could worship God, pray to God, express my faith in God my own way, without the help of Facebook.

Maybe I'm wrong. 

So, if any of you actually received BIG BLESSINGS from typing in whatever "they" wanted you to write on one of these challenge posts on Facebook, let me know! 

Speaking of "they," do we really know who's putting these challenges up on Facebook? 

It could be the Russians or Chinese, who are making up a list of professed Christians, to "take care of them," if you know what I mean, when they rule the world!

Maybe the other worldly aliens are separating the God fearing from the regular folks to put the believers into brain washing cubicles when they conquer our planet! 

All I know is that for over 2000 years, Christians have been worshipping God without the aid of these, uh, let's see... "you're not a Christian unless you, whatever" posts!

It's just my luck that when I'm in the processing area of heaven, Saint Peter will say, "I see you scrolled past all of those, you're not a Christian unless you type amen posts."

"Yes, sir," I say.

"Well, I put those posts on Facebook!! So, we decided to unfriend you from heaven!!! You, you, BAD scrolling knucklehead!!!"

Isn't that the way it goes? No? Well, we're talking about Doom and Gloom Dan here.  Oh, well. 

"Insurrection Rejection"

Today is Jan 6th, you know what that means,

not the time of New Year, where we eat black eyed beans,

,

Maybe we are dismantling our bright Christmas tree,

drinking hot coffee, enjoying green tea,

On the news we hear things about riot inspection,

then we also hear counterpoint, "insurrection rejection."

Most of us busy, doing our daily works,

thinking the media are just a few jerks,

We never have rioted or even thrown stones,

we only want rest for our weary bones,

But did some folks sabotage the last election,

Some say "no way" it's a right wing infection,

Then others stand firm in their political section,

And feel deep in their hearts, "insurrection rejection." 

Insurrection Phys Ed.

How do you take over with no guns and no bombs,

When a lot of your troops are just soccer moms,

Elderly people who never did protest,

And just failed their last A1c test,

But that does not matter, say those on the left,

A lot of cops died, when they tried to arrest,

And storming the Capitol is wrong to the max,

So let's knuckle down, and look at the facts,

Because it's really sad to see barbed wire erection,

Even though some keep saying, "insurrection rejection!" 

I

 

 

The Greg And Dan Show Been Berry Berry Good To Me!

As most of you faithful readers already know, The Greg And Dan Radio Show has been more than generous in playing my wacky songs and comedy bits on their show. 

For instance, yesterday I wrote a song about a Shih tzu freeze advisory, that they had been advising listeners about, and they played it on the air, where billions of folks could hear it! That takes courage! 

(Disclaimer: Billions is an uneducated guess.) 

You don't believe it took courage? Just listen...

What other radio station in the whole wide worm (worm?) would play my dumb stuff?

Would Rush Limbaugh? No! Even if he was still alive! 

Would Howard Stern? Absolutely NOT! To him, I do not even exist.

I don't even think Fibber Mcgee And Molly would have played my absurd humor, if I had been alive back then, and asked them to play my "funny" creations. 

So, for the fearless pair of radio icons, Greg and Dan, to include my radical rhymes and rhythms within the goings on of their show, makes me cry out in total gratitude, and question their sanity at the same tom!! (Who's Tom?)

Wasn't it Andy Warhol who said, "we'll all get our 15 minutes of fame?" 

If that's true, Greg and Dan has put me way above the average, like a transgender swimming competitor! 

I hope you all have a pleasant day, and I hope you get your 15 minutes of fame, if you want it. But if you don't want it, good for you, because as I always say, "fame is fleeting, money is corrupting, but the person who rejects these things, is never interrupting, the other  folks who want it, more than chocolate candy, like the late John Belushi or even great John Candy (did I just rhyme candy with Candy?), who both are now not with us, which does NOT make me grin, so for you who care not fortune and fame, you're better off than them!" 

 Dealing With The Chilling Cold Climate 

The radio just told me that it's zero degrees this morning, in central Illinois, at 6:00 am.

That's way too cold for my old body! 

I guess I could handle it by wearing my parka, my Fargo/Uncle Eddie hat, my big black boots, my insulated underwear (if I can find them), my face mask, and whatever I can find to cover every single freezing part of my ancient bod. 

However, I cannot take Chevy for his walkie, because he would freeze his little tail off, and my neighbors would turn me in for Chorkie abuse! 

I don't REALLY need to go to the grocery store, because we still have some pizza, kidney beans, mustard, and flour on hand, that we can survive on. 

In addition, since I'm retired, feeble and in mental decline, no one expects me to do ANYTHANG anymore!! Ain't it GREAT!! 

I stare out the window and watch the nutty squirrels running around and playing, like it's 72 degrees! How do they do that? Their fur ain't THAT thick!! Oh, to be a squirrel.

Ode To A Winter Squirrel

The Winter Squirrel must be freezin',

But I never see him/her sneezin',

(It's hard to tell the gender difference)

Although I'm frigid to the bone,

The squirrel doth never whine or moan,

Is it because his/her fur is thick,

Or beats the cold because he/she is quick,

I guess I'll never understand,

It must be part of God's great plan,

So, in this bitter cold, cruel freezing world,

It's better off to be a squirrel! 

72, 640 Page Views On My  Blog!

As things stand, right now, at this point, I have 72, 640 page views on my blog!

It's been many moons since I did a blog posting, because I wanted to get a lot of stuff done over the summer months.

Many moons ↑

Needless to say, I did not get ANYTHING done that I wanted to do! 

Isn't that the way it goes? No? Well, that's the way it ALWAYS goes for me!!

What did, uh, I think it was George Burns who said...

Okay, ROBERT Burns...I was close. 

I'm sure that as we enter 2022 (who knew I'd live this long), I can be positively sure that this is the year my long awaited plans, my dreams, my aspirations...will go down the drain, as in all other years. But that's okay! Why, you ask?

It's because, for no apparent reason, knowing I only get a handful of comments on my blog...I am still blessed with 72, 640 page views on my ridiculously stupid blog!! 

See how ridiculously stupid I look?

I do not know how often I'll be posting my blog, but you all can be confident in the fact that I will do my level best to keep all of you faithful readers uninformed, to the best of my ability!! 

Don't Roll Those Bloodshot Eyes At Me (COVER)

I Didn't Find Christmas Until I Found You (Original song)

 Peggy Christmas 2021

Gork on Donny!!! Hoppy Gork on Donny Days!! This is beink Peggy from Latvia, the badlands of the Baltics! 

Peggy havink sidebar...right next to Vodka rack! Latvia is to be havink bad reputation for drinkink vats o voodka, vild party, and excess schmoozing! Ve live up to it durink Gork on Donny Days!! It being SHADEBALLS!!

Gork &Donny days runnink from Dec. of 13, when ve first stumble on greatest radio show in wide world, even greater than Naked and Afraid Sheep Sheering,  to Jan of 24, sacred birthday of great Gork...or whenever booze runs out!!!

On these special days ve be dressink in shorty robes, form flash parade, and be singink traditional Gork on Donny Days anthem while marching to Dupnik square, to decorate ginormous statues of hero's, Gork on Donny, with small shiny objects!! Ve also pleasing to add Stevis the plant to decorate, and Stevis friend!!! 

The anthem is to be sung with voodka glass in one hand, photo of Gork on Donny in the other, and Stevis plants ornaments in other hand!!

It goes somethink like this...Christmas is for just one day,

Gork on Donny Days, it stays and stays,

Ve drinkink till brain in a haze,

It's Gork, Donny, Jules, Ken, Caleb we praise!

AND Stevis the plant and Stevis friend!!!

Merry Christmas and Hoppy Gork on Donny Days!!!

I Didn't Find Christmas, Until I Found You

For many long years I felt alone on Christmas day,

Even when others felt happy and gay,

As the Elvis song said, my Christmas was blue,

I didn't find Christmas, until I found you. 

Now I can see Christmas through the love that you share,

You help others in need, because you truly care,

You believe in old Santa, now I believe too, 

 I didn't find Christmas, until I found you. 

Even in hard times, with just you and your children,

You made Christmas special, but they didn't know then,

That you sacrificed everything to bring Christmas joys,

Unconditional love shown to your girl and your boys. 

You married me, I was not really Scrooge,

But I never knew Christmas they way that you knew,

Your deepest, most passionate love for the Lord,

And your Christmas decorations displayed in our yard.  

Now I can see Christmas through the love that you share,

You help others in need, because you truly care,

You believe in old Santa, now I believe too, 

 I didn't find Christmas, until I found you. 

 

 Thanksgiving Poem 2021

Thanksgiving is wonderful, 

Eating food with reckless abandon,

Turkey, dressing, taters,

Until you look like old Ralph Kramden

Traveling to grandma's house,

Covered dish lay on the seat,

Have to make a sudden stop,

Green bean casserole on your feet. 

Uncle Amos at the table,

Talking politics and religion,

He gazes at the roasted bird,

"Is that a turkey or a pigeon?"