SATURDAY MORNING POST

 ALIEN SPACESHIP LANDS ATOP THE 12TH FLOOR OF THE OLD JEFFERSON BUILDING IN PEORIA, ILLINOIS TO LISTEN TO GREG AND DAN SHOW'S NEW JAMAICAN JINGLE... AND EMULSIFICATE THEMSELVES FROM LAUGHTER

Don't ask what emulsificate means...you don't want to know!

INFAMOUS ANTHONY WIENER TIRED OF PEOPLE MAKING FUN OF HIS NAME, AND CHANGES IT TO PETER WINGDINGER

OBAMA DECIDES TO FINALLY BUILD A FENCE ALL ALONG THE MEXICAN BORDER...TO KEEP AMERICANS FROM FLEEING TO MEXICO

RUSSIAN'S WILL NOT 

HAND OVER EDWARD SNOWDEN 

FOR FEAR OF 

AMERICANS TORTURING HIM OR 

PUTTING HIM TO DEATH, WHEN 

THEY WOULD BE  PERFECTLY 

HAPPY TO DO THIS THEMSELVES

PUTIN...NOW THERE'S A GUY YOU CAN TRUST...NOT!!

Greg Batton...King Of Peoria...Super Cool Dude!

FAN FRIDAY

I saw my friend, Greg Batton, at "Jac's Doghouse" bar (he was giving away free Cardinals tickets, so I needed to be there), in Pekin Illinois, just about an hour and twenty minutes ago. 

He was doing a remote broadcast from the place, like he has done at many places in the Peoria area many times, for years.

He is a local celebrity, as he hosts a daily morning radio show (The Greg and Dan Show) that is very popular.

He often does these remote broadcasts from various businesses in the area that include bars, home improvement places, and even a meat shop!

What always impresses me about Greg is that he never gives the impression he doesn't want to be there.

He is a true professional in every sense of the word.

He is always on time, friendly to everybody, takes time to listen to my bad jokes, and just plain, for real, nice!

Remember the song, "King Of Kansas City?" Well, listen to it now, okay?

Well, Greg Batton is in the exact same situation as the dude in this song, except Greg is on the radio...the guy in the song is on TV...the guy in the song drives a Cadillac...Greg drives a Malibu, and Greg did not get a letter from Omaha begging him to come there...at least, as far as I know!

That is my biggest fear!

Greg and Dan are so good, that I'm afraid Chicago, St. Louis, or (heaven forbid) L.A. will scoop them up, and I'll be verklempt the rest of my life!

I'm getting away from the point of the story. Which is...umm...I forgot!

Hey, how's about baby George? 

He's really cute, but I heard that Kate said he was a real pain in the...

Oh, WAIT...I'm starting to remember my point!

I GOT IT! 

Greg Batton could act like he is way better than the rest of us, self important, aloof, and be a diva like Cher or Alec Baldwin, but he is really super cool! 

That's kind of refreshing to me.

Blogger Is The Best Free Blog Site And I Appreciate It Now!

THOUGHTFUL THURSDAY

I really don't know how long my precious blogging opportunity will be opened this time, so I want to write this quickly!

First and foremost, Blogger is absolutely the BEST free blog site that exists!

I tried others while this was down, and they were found lacking in every way.

They were complicated, and did not have all the great tools for creating a blog like Blogger.

I'm not going to bore you with all the details, but Blogger is supreme in my humble opinion!

Second on the agenda is that I learned I really need to share my thoughts and feelings to keep my sanity!

What sanity, you say?

Whatever I have left!

If I keep all my weird, disjointed, far out thoughts and feelings to myself, I become a walking time bomb of misinformation that could implode on myself without any warning!

Wee doggies! That could blow my punkin' hade clean off!

Third and foremost (didn't I already say that?) is the adorable and faithful Yellow Rose, who was having "blog withdrawals" and needed a "funny fix!"

Usually it's only Cheryl (Yellow Rose) that actually comments in the comments section on the blog.

A lot of you make comments on Facebook, but getting a comment on the certified, official comments section of my blog is so AWESOME!

I hope and pray that my blog stays up for a long tom, because I have so many meaningful, brilliant, profound, and hilarious thoughts to share with the whole wide worm before I'm pushin' up daisies!

Here is a little quiz to refresh your brain about my "My Life Is Only For Laughs" blog:

1. What is the official title of this blog?

2. Who is Gary?

3. What is the full name of "Yellow Rose?"

4. What is the royal baby's name? (Not found on my blog)

5. What is the regular official title of Thursday's blog post?

6. Who is the lead singer of Coldplay?

7. What color is Mim Merritt's bike?

8. What is a gounderus?

9. What does Yellow Rose enjoy collecting that may surprise some folks?

10. What unnamed blog writer, song creator, book author, and all around nice guy, is also "bat ship" crazy?

Times up!

Pass your test paper to the front of the class, grab a stick of gum from my desk, and go outside for recess!

The Baby Who Wouldst Be King!

BABY KING

I'm not the kind of guy that goes along with the crowd.

You know that from reading my blog all these years.

Did you know this "cryer" was NOT asked to do this?

However, I couldn't help but join in the "Kate Wait," and feel joy when the little baby was born!

First of all, I love babies with all my heart!

Babies that are royal,

Babies that are poor,

Babies in Peoria, 

And far off Singapore.

Babies that are white,

Babies that are brown,

Often, black little babies,

Are the cutest ones in town.

Babies when they poop...

Well, as long as mommy changes their di-tee!

Where was I? 

Oh, yeah, the future king!

I've heard some folks say that the baby (still don't know his name yet) will be living such a wonderful, carefree life of unending pleasure and joy!

Not true.

I saw a movie once where a boy who was a pauper traded places with a boy who was a prince, and the little pauper boy hated all the constant training, schooling, rules, wearing fancy clothes and stuff he needed to become king.

I'm sure that new baby George or James...whatever, will have to go through all the traditional king training, and will really be bored with much of it, like pauper boy.

Anyway, I'm so happy for William and Kate!

By the way, I could not believe it when I saw William carry the baby out in the baby car seat, put him in the back seat, buckle him in, and then get in the car and drive away!

I thought royalty had "people" to do all that stuff for them!

I think another reason I'm so happy about all of this is because I loved Princess Diana, and I know she is smiling today!

ALL OF A SUDDEN MY BLOG IS BACK! HALLELUJAH!!

I'm not asking any questions...all I know is my blog is working again!

This is great! Especially because it's our anniversary! 

No, not OUR anniversary! Donna and me!

Whooo hoooo! 

Donna is the best wife ever,

She's cute, witty and clever,

She is the sweetest, as you can see,

Cause she puts up with a weirdo like me.

She married me even though I'm strange,

And not one thing did she try to change,

She says she loves me as I am,

Does she need a head exam?

She's shared her precious kids with me,

Her grand kids too, now, let me see,

Let's count them up, 4, 5, 6, 7,

When I'm with them it feels like heaven.

Today's our anniversary,

I love her and she loves me,

That's all that really counts, you see,

Just Danny Bruce and Donna Dee!

Having computer problems! Be back when I can. Danny

This blog is so sad on this St. Louis Sunday! (sniff, sniff, little tear)

ST. LOUIS SUNDAY

There were places I wanted to go when I was a boy,

I lived in St. Louis, across the Mississippi from Illinois,

Speaking of that old man river where all the barges float,

I always dreamed of going on the Admiral boat,

The stories of it's beauty,sparkle and gleam,

The dancing and the music made such a marvelous dream,

But alas, we didn't have the money to come aboard,

Too bad, 'cause that's something I would have adored.

Kiel Auditorium was a grand palace that I yearned to see,

The biggest venue in the world in sheer capacity,

Classic concerts they held there, from rock to symphony,

Only a few blocks from our home, but inside I'd never see.

We never had the extra dough to pay the entry fee.

Forest Park had the largest outdoor amphitheatre in the world,

It was called the Muny Opera and my mind went in a swirl,

When I heard about the musicals, that echoed from that stage,

South Pacific,The King and I, as a child, they were the rage.

I longed for just one chance to see a glimpse of all that magic,

But we never had the means to go,don't ya think that's kinda tragic?

"Wait" you say so eagerly, "your sadness will be over,"

The Muni Opera still exists, you're rollin' in the clover,

Drive down to ole St. Louis, "watch a musical that's funny,"

I'd love to do as you suggest...but I still ain't got the money!