FANTASY FRIDAY

What a day for a daydream,

Cool, sweet breezes blowing,

Let's go and get some ice cream,

And forget about that mowing.

Take a walk down to the river,

Where the Asian Carp are jumping,
I'm sure they'll soon deliver,
A reprieve from all your grumping.

Ain't they cool!

Take in sights and sounds abundant,
Get your wrinkled pale face sunshine,
Make this daily and incumbent,
Like a big ole jug a moonshine.

Greet your neighbors with a big smile,
Even if you're sick and ailin',
Do it with some class and smooth style,
Just like you are Sarah Palin.

Grab a pit bull by his small ears,
Even if he is a stranger,
It's okay, get rid of all fears,
What a laugh, you're not in danger.

Walk up to the local policeman,
Ask him, "Where's your box of doughnuts?"
Make a pig noise, through your cupped hands,
Then run as fast you can.

Day old sushi from the Quick Mart,
Will make your tummy tingle,
It will even make your butt fart,
Like jolly old Kris Kringle.

Yes, Santa Claus has tooters,
The same as you and me,
So never put lit candles,
Upon your Christmas tree!
BURMA SHAVE

THOUGHTFUL THURSDAY

I need to stop thinking about if everybody liked my blog, how many comments I received, and how many views are on the view meter.

I enjoy writing about stuff, and it helps me express some of my deepest feelings, which makes me feel a lot better when I'm done.

Don't get me wrong, I love it when a get a comment from someone, but I should not let it get me down when I get no responses from anybody, except my dear friend Cheryl, who is always there for me whenever she can possibly accomplish the task.

To tell you the truth, my fondest wish is that long after I'm dead, somebody discovers this blog and gets a few laughs from it, and thinks that I was kind of cool.

I think my desire for acceptance and attention started when I found out I was the baby of the family (youngest of 6), and I always compared myself, unfavorably, to my athletic, strong, super intelligent, older siblings.

Why is it I am never completely satisfied when I'm complemented on my singing, songwriting, comedy, or anything else?

I truly do appreciate it, but deep in my heart I often feel like they're just saying it because they love me, or because I've complimented them about something.

None of my suspicious feelings should matter at all.

I should be happy that people love me, and appreciate it when I praise them.

I give compliments to my friends on YouTube and Facebook  in all sincerity and honesty.

I can see something good, beautiful, thoughtful, cute, powerful, emotional, and a thousand other wonderful things in my friends videos, music and comments, and not even give a second thought to any imperfections that may exist in them, because their magical qualities become clear through the eyes of love!

One of my major mental problems over the years has been trying to cope with so many worries, fears, questions, shattered dreams, and so much more, all going on in my head at the same time.

Sometimes I couldn't sleep because of  the non-stop racing thoughts rushing around in my brain!

I empty them out on this page now.

I leave them here, and can sleep with an uncluttered mind most every night.

So, why should I worry about "likes", views, and comments?

I write this to keep my sanity,

to be a small part of humanity, 

to dump my cluttered brain, 

like washing it with healing rain.

OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY

The Supreme Glirkheads had summoned Gary to their great Chamber Of Truth to give him an important message of...uh...IMPORTANCE!

However, the only way a Glirkazoid can enter the Chamber Of Truth is by passing the grueling Gruesome Glirkazoid Gauntlet test that only the pure in heart can survive.

Gary has already succeeded in passing the "pink bike across the Gland Canyon" test, AND was able to pass by the terrifying Glirkzilla unscathed!

Now, Gary had 3 more trials to endure!

His next life threatening test would be the darkest, nastiest, and wettest of them all!

Gary had to cross the...

Play dramatic music.

SWAMP OF DEATH!!

See photo of swamp at top of page.

222 courageous Glirkazoids have attempted to cross this treacherous swamp, and 222 have failed miserably.

The swamp was a filthy, yucky, quick sandy area, where all kinds of slithering, slimy, scaly monsters lurked beneath the surface to devour any creature that dared to enter the dark, stinking waters!

Gary did not know how to swim, and he was kind of afraid of the dark, but he was about the purest in heart as a Glirkazoid could get, and that was the most important element in the equation. (Element in the equation? What is this, a science lesson? Yea gads!)

Gary sat there trying to figure out what to do, when he saw a giant Glirkadactal bird flying low over the swamp!

Immediately he runs and climbs the highest Glickamore tree he can find, and when the Glirakadactal flies close enough, he jumps on it's back and holds on for dear life!

Cool! Now all he has to do is ride the big bird across the swamp and...

All of a sudden, the naughty critter starts flying upside down, Gary loses his grip, and he begin's falling down...down...down...

SPLASH! Into the filthy swamp!

Remember, Gary can't swim a stroke, so he begins sinking down...down...down...

He thinks he's gone to Glikazoid heaven when he starts hearing this beautiful music...

Begin playing music.

At this, he sees something that looks like a mermaid swimming toward him, and he can't believe his eyes!

It's the comforter, and helper of all Glirkazoids...

YELLOW ROSE!! 

YAY!!

Yellow Rose grabs Gary, brings him to the surface, and drags him through the dark waters, monsters of the deep, and an occasional floating Baby Ruth candy bar...I hope it's a Baby Ruth candy bar!

When they reach the other side, Yellow Rose gives Gary a kiss on the cheek...or whatever a cheek is called on  Glirkazoids...and then she vanishes!

Once again, Gary has passed the test!

Who said Gary cheated?!

No...no...Gary didn't cheat!

The official rules of the Gruesome Glirkazoid Gauntlet state:

If the contestant is truly pure in heart,

the astonishingly beautiful first response girl, Yellow Rose, may deem it fair to come to the aid of the deserving party when absolutely necessary!

So there!

However, Gary still has two contests to endure, to gain entrance to the Supreme Glirkheads!

Can he do it again?

Will the extremely gorgeous Yellow Rose be willing to help him next time?

Will Gary eat that "Baby Ruth" he found? 

Oh we hope not!

TRAVELIN' TUESDAY

Travelin' in my dreams, every night, I go to a place that is cool...like I have a totally separate life in another dimension, where sometimes I'm young again, and can still run fast!

I see my family members once again, even though they passed away years ago, and I never realize that they died until I wake up.

Maybe they really come to visit me in my dreams, it's so real!

I often dream I'm at my old job as a vending machine guy, and I realize I haven't checked the vending machines on my route for a very long time, and I can't remember where the vending machines are, AND I'm always misplacing my van!

One of my reoccurring dreams is I'm at a big convention, or concert, or something, and I come out and my car has been stolen for the umpteenth time!

Do you see a pattern here?

Speaking of cars, in my dream I have a .357 Magnum pistol in my glove compartment in case of terrorist attacks!

Although I've never owned a gun!

I never see things clearly in my dreams.

Everything is always kind of blurry.

I never can see faces clearly...or anything else.

Speaking of faces...they change on me in my dreams.

For instance, I may be talking to my old teacher at Pattonville High School, but then the teacher becomes my brother, and we are at a baseball game!

How weird is dat?

Do any of these things happen to you in your dreams, or am I a bit daffy?

I would love to know if there are others that have oddball dreams like me.

I feel like I'm high on marijuana in my dreams most of the time.

Even when I have those anxious moments looking for my car, and fighting terrorists, I have a euphoric feeling that makes everything a little better than real life.

However, I remember one dream that really frightened me...a lot!

I fell off of a cliff, or a tower, or something way high...I had dreamed that before, but I always woke up before I hit bottom.

This time, I was waiting to wake up and I hit bottom with a crash, boom!

I had always heard that if you hit bottom, you're dead!

So, needless to say, I thought I would be dead when I woke up...but I wasn't.

Okay, I've written about a lot of these things before, but I need to talk about them from tom to tom...or larry to larry...or...

Here is something else I've written about before, but I dream about this so often, I wonder what it means.

I am living in this huge, monstrosity of an old mansion...I think I have a rich friend that is letting me live there, I'm not really sure why I'm living there.

The mansion has an abandoned mall attached to it, and the basement is like an Egyptian mausoleum that has giant sarcophagi lining the great big room!

I usually just walk through the mausoleum and the mall with nothing happening that is very eventful, but often the whole scene changes and I'm in a field of new mown grass, running...and then I lift off the ground and fly!

Is this normal?

Do you have unusual dreams like mine?

Can you tell me what my dreams mean? 

What kind of dreams do you have? 

Sweet dreams!

MANESS MUSIC MONDAY

Please begin by playing this song!

I have always said that this song is the best I've ever written.

What do you think?

Does it reach your heart?

Do the musicians do a good job?

Is my singing good enough?

I don't believe I'll ever top this song.

This is my best effort.

I'd love to get the opinion of my friends,

before I quit show biz for good.

Anybody? Anybody?

ST. LOUIS SUNDAY

I love weird, strange, things!

So, I love Laumeier Sculpture Park!

However, it is the spirit of the place that impresses me the most...like the Grand Canyon.

Peaceful!

You know, that "a picture is worth a thousand words" thing!

SATURDAY MORNING POST

TRAFFIC RESEARCH GROUP DISCOVER THAT DRIVERS OF FIRST CARS AT TRAFFIC LIGHT BECOME PREOCCUPIED WITH EVERYTHING EXCEPT WATCHING FOR THE LIGHT TO CHANGE

GREAT DANE DOG IS TAUGHT TO DRIVE A FORD TAURUS WHILE HIS "MASTER" STICKS HIS HEAD OUT OF THE PASSENGER WINDOW

STUDY ON AGING SHOWS THAT OLD BALD MEN WITH BEER BELLIES  TRULY BELIEVE THEY LOOK LIKE HUGH JACKMAN WHILE THEY WORK IN THEIR YARDS WEARING NO SHIRTS 

What an exquisite emotional video!

THE PEWY POLL PEOPLE FIND THAT ALL OF THE CONFUSION, MISMANAGEMENT, DOWN RIGHT STUPIDITY, LYING, DECEIT, AND CORRUPTION FOUND IN THE U.S. CONGRESS  IS VIEWED AS OKAY BY 95% OF THE POPULATION...AS LONG AS THEY PERSONALLY GET WHAT THEY WANT

BRITISH NANNY DELIGHTED TO EMPTY THE DIAPER OF HIS ROYAL HIGHNESS PRINCE GEORGE OF CAMBRIDGE INTO THE "LOO"...SHE CLAIMS IT WAS HER FIRST ROYAL FLUSH

HIDEOUSLY UGLY CREATURES FROM OUTER SPACE FORM A DIABOLICAL GROUP TO DISPENSE WEIRD, DISTORTED, UNTRUTHS TO THE AMERICAN POPULATION...THEY CALL IT "THE VIEW!"

With the exception of Elisabeth Hasselbeck!

CHRIS CRISTIE SAYS HE HAS MANY NEW IDEAS SO HE WILL BE BUILDING A NEW PLATFORM FOR 2016...HE CRASHED THROUGH THE OLD ONE AFTER EATING THE WORLD'S BIGGEST HAMBURGER

HAPPY SATURDAY!

MAY ALL YOUR POSTS BE PLEASANT!