THOUGHTFUL THURSDAY

I was so tempted to write something about Obamacare, Mr. Incognito, child cage fighting, animal abuse, and serious stuff like that, but I'm not in the mood, and what good would it do, anyway?

I'd rather talk about "Good Luck Charlie."

Don't get me wrong, I am not an expert on the show, but it's my favorite!

I don't even know the names of all the characters, or their real names, but every time I watch it, I laugh!

I cannot say the same for the so called comedians, like Conan, The Jimmy guys, Ellen, and so many that are just embarrassing in their nastiness! You are NASTY BOYS!! NASTY, NASTY, NASTY! That goes double for Ellen!!

On the other hand, Good Luck Charlie is cute, funny, weird (the way I like 'em), creative, but without the NASTY stuff.

Another reason I like it so much is because the dad is a pest control dude, and I was a pest control dude at one time! I get where he's coming from.

Bob

I can relate to the oldest brother, because he is so dumb and clueless, like me.

P.J.

I can't stand the conniving little brother, but that's good, because we always need someone to dislike in a popular series, like Eddie Haskell on Leave It To Beaver.

Gabe

The daughter, Teddy (I think), is the real star of the show, and is pretty adorable, with good comedy timing and acting ability!

Teddy

Charlie, the youngest daughter, ain't that great! Her acting sucks, and she delivers her lines with lack of emotion and passion.

 But, maybe I'm expecting too much from a 5 year old.

Charlie

Oh, I almost forgot, they have a new baby brother now who really adds nothing to the show, but I don't care, I love the show anyway!

Toby Wan Kenobi

The mom has a very droll sense of humor when talking to family members, but can also be very wacky, especially when she wants to fulfill her dream of being a famous Broadway star or movie actress!

Amy

Yes, I know what you're thinking! In real life, these folks from Good Luck Charlie aren't that wholesome and pure!

I know, but I'd rather believe fantasy than reality! You should know that about me by 

now!

Have an awesome Thursday!!! 

Yaaaaaaaay!!!!!

OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY

The whole planet of Glirka was celebrating the Festival Of Gluck, that commemorated nothing at all! They just did it for pure fun!

The festival lasted for 3 spectrums, and was the most important non-holiday on the Glirkazoid's calendar.

There was the traditional feasting on the delicious Glurky, with glashed topatoes, and glavy, watching glootball games, and the Glacy's Day Parade.

However, our hero Gary was not able to enjoy the festivities with his fellow Glirkazoids. He was responsible for protecting his sector from invading marauders that would often attack the innocent little Glirkazoid creatures as they partied hardy!

Gary was patrolling his designated area in his brand spanking new, silver spaceship that could not be seen by the enemies of Glirka.

He had activated the U-Kont-Seamy device so he could not be detected.

Gary didn't complain...much.

He thought, "how come I NEVER get to have fun, and I have to ride around in this stinking ship, bored to the gills, while my friends are enjoying themselves drinking gottles of geer, singing glongs, glancing the night away, and glugging and glissing each other until their antenna stand up?"

SWOOOOOSH!!

"What the hector was THAT," Gary exclaimed!!

A bright, blinding light sped past his invisible spaceship, and had missed him by a few glinches!

Our hero put his spacecraft into Glarp Speed and caught up the the "light," real quick-like!

The mysterious "light" turned out to be a Diozakril-G warship, headed for the celebrating Glirkazoids to turn them into crispy critters!

Well, Gary would have none of that, so he set the sights of his Disgronificator Eliminator Disintegrator on the enemy warship and fired away!

The enemy ship and ugly crew were then molecularly disassembled and transported back to their disgusting planet of Puque!

Gary really didn't like totally destroying his enemies unless it was absolutely necessary!

"That was way too easy" Gary said to himself. Now, he carefully scanned the dark cosmos, waiting for the OTHER shoe to drop.

All of a sudden, Gary's sky scanner screen lights up like a Christmas tree, bells start ringing, and then...gulp...10,000 Diozakril-G warships appear on the giant screen!!

How will Gary get out of this one, hmmm?!

Join us next week for Out Of This World Wednesday!!!

TRAVELIN' TUESDAY

As I travel on the roads today,

I just can't keep this fact hid,

That everywhere I roll along,

The drivers seem distracted.

To pay attention to the trip,

I guess is way too boring,

So they need a few diversions,

To keep themselves from snoring.

With a cigarette in one hand,

And a Big Gulp in the other,

The steering wheel is hard to grasp,

For the clueless teenage mother.

She's putting on her makeup,

While trying to eat a tamale,

Then finds she's goin' the wrong way,

In a narrow one way alley.


Her rowdy kids are in the back,

Screaming out their lungs,

But she doesn't even hear them,

As she's texting with both thumbs.

Her car is swerving like a snake,

You'd think that she was drunk,

With lots of dents upon the doors,

And a big one on the trunk.

The dent was made while backing up,

And her phone began to call,

When she reached down to answer it,

She smashed into a wall.

She never, ever seems to know,

When a traffic light turns green,

The cars behind her have to honk,

At the Distracted Driving Queen!

THOUGHTFUL THURSDAY

Whowee! I'm watching the Cardinals in the Worm Series and they are behind 6 to 1, but the bases are loaded with the Cards at bat and anything can happen with the miracle Cardinals!

A homely run could make it a 6 to 5 game, and I would not be surprised if it happened with Allen Craig coming to bat! 

Well, bird doo-doo, he grounded out!

It must be the 7th inning stretch because a military group is singing God Bless America.

I honestly think the Cardinals will win because so much money is wrapped up in advertisers, food vendors, hotels, souvenirs, and such, that they want it to go the whole 7 games.

Mark my worms!

If I'm wrong, it's okay, because Boston hasn't won a Worm Series at home since 1918, or something like that, and the Cardinals have won quite a few.

I have to admit, I love watching David Ortiz at bat! He can really hit! I just hope he's not "roided up"...that would be sad.

I like baseball players because they talk more intelligently than players in other sports.

Especially bad are the pro basketball players! 

They have college degrees and they talk like blithering idiots! 

"I tol em ta gimme da baa, and I jumps ups an shoots da baa, an we wins da gaa!"

Get any help with your homework, you moron?!

Football players are a little better, until they get so many concussions, they shoot people at random!

I would imagine that chess players talk intelligently, but I don't follow chess, so how would I know.

I really dislike the part when a team wins the Worm Series and everyone is pouring champagne on each other!

It looks cold, sticky, eye burny, and silly to me! 

I would get away from that mess, before I got wet! 

However, then a bunch of them would track me down and pour champagne on my head anyway, so what's the use, huh?

The Cardinals are only two outs away from losing now! 

Uh, oh! NOW ONLY ONE OUT AWAY FROM LOSING!

The crowd is going WILD!!!

What's gonna happen?!

BOSTON WINS THE SERIES!!

BOSTON WINS THE SERIES!!!

BOSTON WINS THE SERIES!!!!

I'm happy for them. They outplayed the Cardinals fair and square..ahem! Excuse me, I had a frog in my throat.

Just wait until NEXT YEAR!

OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY

Gary turned around slowly, sensing something very large and terrifying was behind him. Here is what he saw...

How was our little hero going to get past this gigantic, multi- headed dragon, to recue his Glirkazoid friends, who were held captive in the Badazzbeast's castle pictured above? 

Little did he know that Glrrrl((()))##++yowow77 ( Yo 77 for short) had been sent by the Supreme Glirkheads to give him assistance in time of need! 

This was a time of need for sure...so when Gary had to shield his eyes  from the dragon's fire, Yo 77 came up from behind the monster, threw a lasso around one of his necks, and tied the other end to a fast moving "sky train," which pulled the critter off into infinity!

To Gary, it seemed like the dragon just vanished into thin air! 

Yo 77 was out of sight before Gary knew it, because Gary would have been upset to learn he was being helped. Especially by a girl!!

Yo 77

Gary was pure in heart, but still had a few flaws, like pride, envy, impatience, arrogance, and lots of other stuff.

It just so happened that Yo 77 scored the highest rating of any Glirkazoid to have ever graduated from the Academy,  male or female!! 

In addition, she was superior in compassion and empathy, because she had TWO HEARTS! 

Gary now had an open road to the castle! He ran at lightening speed, jumped the wide moat like a mountain goat, (hey, that rhymed), defeated 111 guards with his martial arts skill of keek-yo-bot, used his mind retranspostion method to gain the whereabouts of his 222 buddies from the brain of the Badazzbeast's head slave, and found his way to the tower of the castle, where he saw his friends locked behind bars, and in chains!

As Gary made his way down the dark corridor he was suddenly surprised by the enormous, filthy, ugly, Badazzbeast, who jumped out of a secret passageway to block Gary's way to his pals, and try to eat Gary while he was at it!!

The bunny is NOT Gary, this is the only picture I could find of the Badazzbeast.

Our hero, Gary! Yaaaaay!

Gary battled with the Badazzbeast valiantly, but he was no match for a creature 100 times bigger and stronger than him!

Just as the Beast is about to devour our little buddy, a colorful flash of light, like a rainbow colored sunbeam, streams into the corridor. 

It's Yo 77!!

I know what you're thinking, this picture of Yo 77 doesn't look like the picture above, right?

That's because Yo 77 changes her appearance when she goes in to action, to save Gary!!

Even though Yo 77 has to show herself to Gary, she knows that Gary is in serious doo doo, and he needs some backup!

They double team Mr. Badazzbeast!

First Yo 77 smacks him upside his hideous mouth, then Gary kicks him where it REALLY hurts, Yo 77 then wraps her lasso around his ugly legs and trips him, so Gary can point his ray gun into the Beast's mouth to shoot off his uvula...which is the only way to destroy a Badazzbeast! 

In a really cool, fiery display of orange, yellow and blue flames, the Badazzbeast blows up in front of our eyes, and the triumphant music begins to play in the background!

Then we hear Gary say, "Did they HAVE to send a girl?!!"

In the next scene, Gary and Yo 77 are releasing the 222 captives, the camera backs away from our dynamic duo, farther and farther through the roof of the castle, showing the castle on the mountain top, then up, up, through the clouds, in to the stars...and the song, When You're A Free Man, by the Moody Blues, is playing ever so sweetly in the background  until the end of the movie and through the credits.

No, wait!  This ain't a movie! It was so exciting, it felt like an action packed movie!

This is REAL LIFE!

See ya next week for OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY!!!

HALLOWEEN MEMORIES

Halloween, in St.Louis, when I was a kid,
Back in the fifties, long ago, here's what we did,
We went to every house that had a light lit,
With large grocery bags, so the candy would fit.

We dressed as monsters, witches, and ghosts,
And we would see which one got the most,
Yummy candy, of all shapes and sizes,
And would compare our clever disguises.

My costume was always homemade,
By my Mom, no, we never paid,
For an outfit bought at the store,
To beg candy at everyone's door.

We would cry to the homes, "trick or treat,"
And the people seemed happy to greet,
All the creatures that lurked on their step,
Who had slithered, and limped up, and crept.

Some neighbors would have us come in,
And would say to us all with a grin,
Sing a song, say a poem, tell a joke,
Or no candy we'll put in your poke.

So with red faces and shy,
We would sing a cute song, by and by,
Or recite a short poem, with some fear,
And the neighbors would grin ear to ear.

Sometimes it was windy and cold,
On that Halloween night from of old,
But matter to us, it did not,
Look at all of the candy we got!

My family had kids numbering 6,
We got bags full of treats without tricks,
We dumped them all on Mom's kitchen table,
It's a good thing that table was stable,

Cause a mountain of candy appeared,
And even though this may sound weird,
We could eat what we wanted, the sweetest,
Maybe that's why I have diabetes!

BURMA SHAVE

My Halloween Blog Post

With the dark, evil holiday of Halloween approaching, I offer a triad of my scariest Halloween style videos!

Be prepared for the most terrifying experiences in horror and suspense since Psycho met the Exorcist!

Be AFRAID! Be VERY AFRAID!!

Feast your pathetic eyes on the darkest realm of the soul that begins with terror, moves on to INTENSE terror, and then kind of fizzles out at the end.

We begin with the classic, Glirkademon...Lord Of The Underworld!!

The next super scary video may be way too disturbing for the kiddies, so make sure you remove them from the room before you turn out the lights and watch this!!

HALLOWEEN CREEPY!!

Finally, my fiesta-resistonce of creepy features, Glirakazoids And Werewolves!!!

Have a safe and candy filled Halloweenie!