I'm Not Trying To Offend Anyone, But..

My blog will be short today. Not that I'm trying to offend short folks. If I were, I'd use midget, shrimp, or maybe pipsqueak, but that would not be kosher, which isn't intended to put down Jewish folks, because I enjoy kosher pickles!

I thought we should have a pow wow about offending our fellow man...whoops, I guess pow wow is not the correct word to use in the face of Indian sensitivities, or even the name Indian, or even fellow MAN! Fellow BEING is probably more better, except more better is most likely offensive to grammer grammar obsessed individuals.

Chihuahua, what's a mother to do...holy mackerel...the Mexican  people will be offended at a white dude saying Chihuahua...and Amos and Andy deniers will be on me like a child on a Twinkie, if they ever find out I used holy mackerel dare Andy!

I'm goofing this up so much I feel like a bum...I mean...tramp...I mean hobo...homeless? That don't seem to fit the narrative. Oh, I don't know. pardner.

Did I just offend a cowboy? It's so difficult to tell, anymore. 

SONGS I MAY HAVE MISHEARD

♪Raindrops on whiskers and roses on kittens, why in the heck are they losing their mittens, wild moons that fly with the geese on their wings, these are a few of my favorite things....♪♪

♪♪In the lad where I was bored, lived a bad, who sailed to seed, and he told me of his lice, in the lad of soobmurines....♪

♪Bre will, Bre will, wok you...Bre will, Bre will wok you....♪♪
















♪♪Me and Boo and a dog named Ewe...♪

EWE The Dog.

♪Karma, just kilt a band, put the gum against his dreads, pulled the digger now he's Ted...♪♪

♪♪Ouuu, Brady, Brady it's a wild worm, deflating your footballs 'till they're not firm...♪

♪They dazed a pair a dice and perked up a parking lot...♪♪

♪♪Imagine there's no oven, to bake your apple pie...♪

♪There's a Lazy who's sure, all that giggles is gold, and she's buying a chair way to 7...♪♪

♪♪♪JUST FOR FUN!!!!♪♪♪

Tell Us Your Winter Story Of 2018/19

I wrote this song a few years back, and I think it goes a long way in describing how I feel about this stinking winter. Please listen to it before continuing...

I sent this song to a Nashville company who recorded it for me. I think they did a great job!

Anyway, the song is a fictional account about a dude who is wanting his gal back, because she walked out on him, because he must have done something BAD, because he's just a lowdown, guitar playin' truck driver. 

Don't focus on those parts of the song, okay? I want you to pay attention to all the parts about snow, cold, blizzards and such, to get the true feeling of what this winter has been like for us poor fools who still live in the stupid wintry regions, but ESPECIALLY for all you folks who live in beautiful warm climates and keep rubbing it in with your photos of flowers, swimming pools and playing golf!!

How many of you have listened to the song yet? C'mon, be transparent. If you have not, go listen to it now, and see if everything I told you is not exactamundo correct!  (A little Spanish lingo for ya)

Did you like the singer? I think he has a GREAT country sounding voice, even though he may be from Brooklyn. You never know. 

Did the worms words make you feel cold, lonely, heartbroken, sad, hopeful, disgruntled, mesmerized, bored, or kinda sick?  I'm happy if ANY feelings were stimulated by my song! I'm kinda desperate, you know.

How has the winter been for you? Why not tell us your most horrible 2018/19 winter story. Were you stranded in sub zero temps? Did you fall on your keister? Did your furnace take a nose dive on the coldest day of the year? We want to hear all the disastrous, frightening tales, not the boring, positive happenings. It's much more fun to whine and complain, don't you think?

 Let's end by watching a video I made, that will send your heart to a lovely winter wonderland of sparkling snow and song! In the meantime, I'll pray for this wicked winter to END!!!

Still No One Like Elvis! 

Even Better Than J. Lo!

We watched the Elvis "special" last night, commemorating the 1968 show that Elvis did over 50 years ago, and it was one of the BEST things on T.V.  in many moons!

I'm not gonna get into all the details, but it had some of the world's greatest performers doing Elvis tunes, intertwined with clips of Elvis from 1968 .

John Legend, J. Lo, Mac Davis (he ruled at 77 years old), Adam Lambert, John Fogerty, Keith Urban, Post Malone (Post Malone?), Carrie Underwood, Ed Sheeran, Don Was (Don Was WHAT?)..and more!!!

Don Was was the guy who was playing the big bass.

Did any of you guys watch it? If you did, tell me what you thought of it? I TOTALLY loved it, although, not one of them performed any of the songs as well as Elvis, in my unsponsored opinion. 

I must say that Carrie Underwood and Yolanda Adams blew me away with their gospel tribute to Elvis, Mac Davis was wonderful singing "Memories" (a song he wrote), Adam Lambert was AMAZING, singing "Blue Suede Shoes", John Legend sounded very close to Elvis singing "A Little Less Conversion", but, alas, ALL fell short of the "King!"

The Big Benefit Of Potholes!

We Illinoisians are way too familiar with potholes!

We curse them, call our politicians about them, cry about them, drive crazy to avoid them, and HATE, HATE, HATE them!!!

Here is the beauty part about them, folks!

When the moon is colonized, Illinoisians will be so prepared to drive around up there!

We are experts at circumventing craters, already!

We will corner the market on Uber, taxis, busses, trucks, EVERYTHING that needs drivers!

Our pay rate will increase by a million per cent, to boot!!

I thought we needed some positive pothole news, due to the fact that they ain't gonna be fixed until July!

Donna, Be My Valentine 

    I'm no romantic Romeo,

With a gift of costly wine,

I'm just the man who loves you,

Donna, be my Valentine.

I'd love to take you 'round the world,

At the finest places dine,

All I can give is my whole heart,

Donna, be my Valentine.

Gold and silver, I have not,

No diamonds in my hand,

But I am blessed to be with you,

The fairest in the land!

On the day that I first saw you,

I dreamed that you'd be mine,

You're wonderful and precious,

Donna, be my Valentine.

Thousands Of My Blog Fans Miss Me!

It was impossible for me to do my blog since last Thursday, because my computer monitor (AKA the computer screen) died!

Not to be confused with the SCHOOL monitor who oversees and monitors student behavior by walking hallways, campus grounds, locker rooms, and cafeteria to ensure students are proceeding to their classes in an orderly manner; ... May function as a representative for students to bring issues/concerns to the attention of teachers, counselors, and administration.

This is also not the Minotaur, who also died, but not like my monitor. 

The Minotaur was the offspring of the Cretan Queen Pasiphae and a majestic bull. Due to the Minotaur's monstrous form, King Minos ordered the craftsman, Daedalus, and his son, Icarus, to build a huge maze known as the Labyrinth to house the beast.

In Crete, Minos' daughter Ariadne fell madly in love with Theseus and helped him navigate the labyrinth. In most accounts she gave him a ball of thread, allowing him to retrace his path. Theseus killed theMinotaur with the sword of Aegeus and led the other Athenians back out of the labyrinth.

Imagine the thousands of messages that were left in all my message areas from rabid fans, concerned about my whereabouts, and longing for the time when Bloggadocious 222 would be gracing their monitors once again? 

IMAGINE is right! NOBODY left ANY messages on my blog, Facebook, YouTube, or nuttin' honey, about my blog being AWOL!!

That's okay, folks! It just tells me how much you guys trust me, and KNOW I would never desert you, my faithful fans, without tellin' ya! 

By the way, I got a new monitor!