a·vant-garde

                                   /ˌaväntˈɡärd/

                                                                          noun

1. 
   
2. 
   

   
   

     1. new and unusual or experimental ideas, especially in the arts, or the people introducing them.

adjective

1. 1.

   favoring or introducing experimental or unusual ideas.

   synonym

   innovative, advanced, innovatory, original, experimental, inventive,  ahead of the times, new, forward-looking, futuristic, modern, ultramodern,  state-of-the-art, trendsetting, pioneering, progressive, groundbreaking,  trailblazing, revolutionary;  Doesn't the word above ( a·vant-garde) describe my blog PERFECTLY!  Think about it.  New. Unusual. Experimental ideas. Ahead of the times. Futuristic. Groundbreaking. Revolutionary.  Wow! My blog is  a·vant-garde!! I'm positive that negative folks would disagree with the idea that my blog is   a·vant-garde. In fact, they might say it's dumb and preposterous.  pre·pos·ter·ous /prəˈpäst(ə)rəs/ adjective contrary to reason or common sense; utterly absurd or ridiculous. "a preposterous suggestion" synonyms: absurd, ridiculous, foolish, stupid, ludicrous, farcical, laughable, comical, risible, harebrained, asinine, inane, nonsensical, pointless, senseless, insane,  unreasonable, irrational, illogical; Oh, sheesh! After reading the definition of preposterous, those "negative Nellies" may be correct! Contrary to reason. ✔ Utterly absurd and ridiculous. ✔ Harebrained. ✔ Asinine.✔ (extremely foolish or stupid) Hmm, I'm confused!  Is my blog preposterous or  a·vant-garde? I'll let you guys decide.

   
   

Spring-like Weather Makes Me Sing 

The song below is sung to the tune of the song above.

♪♪When  it's springtime in Peoria, 

You can hear the birdies singing, ♪♪

♪♪When it's springtime in Peoria,

You can hear those bells-o-ringing,♪♪

♪When it's springtime in Peoria,

You can freely walk your dog, ♪♪

♪♪When it's springtime in Peoria,

Bring a bag to pick-up his/her log.♪♪

Wow! That really didn't flow, did it? 

No big whoop. I just felt very springy today!

I saw a guy walking down the street as I walked Chevy, The Wonder Dog, this morning, and he said, "Spring in the air!"

I tried it, and almost broke my back!! (Old joke from Johnny Carson, many moons ago)

If this year is like most years, spring will be over in the blink of an eye, and blistering hot summer heat will pounce upon us quicker than a teen turtle on pizza!!

With that in mind, I try to savor each and every spring-like day. Even if it's not officially spring.

I enjoy walking down the sidewalk at 5:30 in the morning, with Chevy Wevy leading the way, and singing this song at the top of my lungs...

♪♪When  it's springtime in Peoria, 

You can hear the birdies singing, ♪♪

♪♪When it's springtime in Peoria,

You can hear those bells-o-ringing,♪♪

♪When it's springtime in Peoria,

You can freely walk your dog, ♪♪

♪♪When it's springtime in Peoria,

Bring a bag to pick-up his/her log.♪♪

Should it matter that folks throw things at me, speak foul language, and summon the authorities? (They leave Chevy Boy alone, because he's cute)

Sure, it matters, but if I don't exercise my rights to sing at the top of my lungs, at 5:30 in the morning, on a beauteous spring-like day...who will? 

Let's not forget that these same "neighbors" who are offended by my joyful jubilation , have super loud motorcycles, trucks, leaf blowers, chainsaws and such, that interfere with my sacred transcontinental meditation that I perform 17 times per day!

Chevy is a FUNNY dog! If a dog has ever been outside, in his or her private yard, barking at him, Chevy will bark at the spot where the dog WAS, even if the dog is inside the house, or gone to the Vet, or at the doggie park! 

It's kinda like he imaginates the dog being there. Imaginates?

Also, why do dogs like rolling in stinky stuff? If Chevy finds something stinky, he rolls in it. 

One time, a guy on our block must have cleaned fish in his front yard, and when our previous dog, Benji (who is now in doggie heaven) found the fish guts, he rolled in them with DELIGHT! 

Pew-wy! It took mucho amounts of soap and water to remove that awful smell! Benji didn't seem to mind at all. Well. he DID mind the bath, not the terrible smell. 

Speaking of smells, are you a gagger? I am. If something stinks VERY bad, I gag. It can be embarrassing if you enter a person's stinky domicile and try to make conversion, and the gag reflex starts to kick in. 

You try to hold your breath, but that only lasts for a short time, and then you have to take a DEEP breath, and all of that rotten garbage, or whatever it is, smell fills your olfactory senses (your nose) and the violent, uncontrolled gagging begins! 

The person who lives there is "nose blind" to the odor, and asks "what's wrong?"

So you have to make up a story about how you've been sick and have drainage, and the nasty green phlegm is making you gag, but then, the image in your mind's eye of green phlegm makes you gag even more!! 


If you've been there, you know exactly what I mean. I guess, if you ain't been there, you don't know...

A little song I wrote about 1000 years ago. 

I seem to have drifted off the subject again, ever so slightly. I was originally talking about spring-like days, and how it feels good to be alive!

In fact, today, it's kind of magnificent outside here in central Illinois, so Chevy will be wanting to take even more walks than usual. 

I do not know how Chevy knows what the weather is outside, before we even go outside! 

His instincts? It sure does, after he goes poo poo!!

A Brief Look At My Life In A Poem

I was born post World War 2,

"They" thought I'd be a girl,

Because 3 sisters came before,

I'm glad my name's not Pearl. 

They named me Danny Bruce,

My mom said I was cute,

It really does not matter much,

I go by, "I am Groot."

If you've never watched the movie,

Guardians Of The Galaxy,

Then you may not understand about,

Old "Groot" the living tree.

It really doesn't matter much,

My blog is like "fake news,"

You can't believe one word of it,

Believe in what you choose.

I played a little football,

It was smaller than a thimble,

I could not throw it very far,

It made the tight end tremble!

How can you catch a pigskin,

That is far too small to see,

Practice doesn't help at all,

Glasses are the key. 

One day I joined the Army,

I really don't know why,

I thought I'd go to Vietnam,

But wound up in "Supply."

I handed out clean laundry,

The supply room got real hot,

I never did complain at all,

At least I wasn't shot!

I really care for animules,

That's not the way to spell it,

But it adds some humor to my blog,

Ain't that the way to sell it?

Ya can't go wrong with photos,

Of kittens, pups and otters,

Watching what's adorable,

Trumps watching weather spotters!

The weather channel might appeal,

To folks who fear the rain,

But isobars and "Bomb Cyclones,"

Just cloud up my brain! 

I hope your day is wonderful,

For sadness is a crime,

Thanks for popping in today,

And wasting precious time! 

Pre-St. Paddy's Day Party Planner

Don't panic! St. Paddy's Day is on Sunday and you have absolutely nothing ready!

Never fear, Danny Boy O'Maness is here!!

Sure and begorrah! Danny Boy is havin' all the wee things ya need ta be knowin' ta have the greatest St. Paddy's Day since St. Paddy, himself, drove the slimy snakes out of the Emerald Isle itself!

To begin, laddies,  ya need to be findin' a beautiful lassie ta share St. Paddy's Day with, don't cha know! 

Wrong Lassie!

My beautiful lassie...St. Paddy's Day 2017

Ah, St. Paddy's Day requires loved ones lovin' ya!

I recall me old friend, Sean O'Shaughnessy, who attempted to spend St. Paddy's Day, in 1971, ALONE.

They found him next mornin',  lyin' in the gutter, foamin' from the mouth and wailin' like a blistered banshee!! 

 A banshee is a female spirit who heralds the death of a family member, usually by wailing, shrieking, or keening. (keening is wailing for the dead, I had to Google it)

Saints be praised, O'Shaughnessy came to his senses when we brought Molly O'Grady in to ease his loneliness. She was a gregarious lassie! 

gre·gar·i·ous

/ɡrəˈɡerēəs/

adjective

1. 
   

   (of a person) fond of company; sociable.

   "

   
   

   synonyms:

   , company-loving, companionable,

2. 
   
3. Besides companionship, MUSIC, is of utmost importance in your St. Paddy's Day experience!

The BEST music is totally organic street music, with traditional instruments, even if it's a wee bit bad for dancin'.

Kind of like...

This is much better, me lads and lassies!

Disclaimer: If you insist on NOT clicking on the video clips, we cannot guarantee total enjoyment of this hysterical, historical, hypocritical, hyperbolical blog. 

Traditionally, corn beef and cabbage is the "go to" food for St. Paddy's Day, but frankly, not a whole lot of folks are favorin' this fare, so why not experiment with new Irish tidbits?

Leprechaun Lemon Liver has been loved by lassies and laddies in lower Limerick for lots of millenniums!  (it LOOKS really gross, but it really is)

Pot-O-Gold Pot Roast And Beans is a top-o-the-mornin' breakfast on St. Paddy's Day in Pallaskenry, Ireland, but it causes the Irish revenge on your nether regions, if ya know what I mean. 

The WEARIN' Of THE GREEN! Don't forget the WEARIN' OF THE GREEN on St. Paddy's Day!!

If ya want ta be doin' like the Irish do...instead of pinchin' someone who's not wearin' green, ya smack 'em up side the head with a big shillelagh!!

If they survive, they'll NEVER be forgettin' the wearin' of the green again, unless they've suffered extreme damage of the brain.

Most important of all is "the drink!"

Ya can't be celebratin' St. Paddy's Day without "the drink!!"

Here is what we do on the Emerald Isle itself...

Find a wee thimble. Open a new bottle of Irish whiskey and pour out half a thimble. Do not over do it! Just a half a thimble or less!

Toss that over your right shoulder and drink the rest of the whiskey in the bottle! That will be a good start!

So, here is an Irish blessin' for ya, to bring ya a bonnie St. Paddy's Day! (even though "bonnie" is a Scottish word)

Not this one.

The one below ...

May the roads of Ireland lead ya to a rainbow, where you'll find a pot-o-gold that will bring the wrath of an evil leprechaun, but at least you'll be filthy rich for a wee time, until the leprechaun releases his pet banshee on ya, and removes your head from your body, but that will be okay, because the angels will swoop down and take ya ta heaven before the devil knows you've been dead for a thousand millenniums, and the Blarney Stone crumbles into the Irish Sea!  (Irish Sea?)