Pre-St. Paddy's Day Party Planner

Don't panic! St. Paddy's Day is on Sunday and you have absolutely nothing ready!

Never fear, Danny Boy O'Maness is here!!

Sure and begorrah! Danny Boy is havin' all the wee things ya need ta be knowin' ta have the greatest St. Paddy's Day since St. Paddy, himself, drove the slimy snakes out of the Emerald Isle itself!

To begin, laddies,  ya need to be findin' a beautiful lassie ta share St. Paddy's Day with, don't cha know! 

Wrong Lassie!

My beautiful lassie...St. Paddy's Day 2017

Ah, St. Paddy's Day requires loved ones lovin' ya!

I recall me old friend, Sean O'Shaughnessy, who attempted to spend St. Paddy's Day, in 1971, ALONE.

They found him next mornin',  lyin' in the gutter, foamin' from the mouth and wailin' like a blistered banshee!! 

 A banshee is a female spirit who heralds the death of a family member, usually by wailing, shrieking, or keening. (keening is wailing for the dead, I had to Google it)

Saints be praised, O'Shaughnessy came to his senses when we brought Molly O'Grady in to ease his loneliness. She was a gregarious lassie! 

gre·gar·i·ous

/ɡrəˈɡerēəs/

adjective

1. 
   

   (of a person) fond of company; sociable.

   "

   
   

   synonyms:

   , company-loving, companionable,

2. 
   
3. Besides companionship, MUSIC, is of utmost importance in your St. Paddy's Day experience!

The BEST music is totally organic street music, with traditional instruments, even if it's a wee bit bad for dancin'.

Kind of like...

This is much better, me lads and lassies!

Disclaimer: If you insist on NOT clicking on the video clips, we cannot guarantee total enjoyment of this hysterical, historical, hypocritical, hyperbolical blog. 

Traditionally, corn beef and cabbage is the "go to" food for St. Paddy's Day, but frankly, not a whole lot of folks are favorin' this fare, so why not experiment with new Irish tidbits?

Leprechaun Lemon Liver has been loved by lassies and laddies in lower Limerick for lots of millenniums!  (it LOOKS really gross, but it really is)

Pot-O-Gold Pot Roast And Beans is a top-o-the-mornin' breakfast on St. Paddy's Day in Pallaskenry, Ireland, but it causes the Irish revenge on your nether regions, if ya know what I mean. 

The WEARIN' Of THE GREEN! Don't forget the WEARIN' OF THE GREEN on St. Paddy's Day!!

If ya want ta be doin' like the Irish do...instead of pinchin' someone who's not wearin' green, ya smack 'em up side the head with a big shillelagh!!

If they survive, they'll NEVER be forgettin' the wearin' of the green again, unless they've suffered extreme damage of the brain.

Most important of all is "the drink!"

Ya can't be celebratin' St. Paddy's Day without "the drink!!"

Here is what we do on the Emerald Isle itself...

Find a wee thimble. Open a new bottle of Irish whiskey and pour out half a thimble. Do not over do it! Just a half a thimble or less!

Toss that over your right shoulder and drink the rest of the whiskey in the bottle! That will be a good start!

So, here is an Irish blessin' for ya, to bring ya a bonnie St. Paddy's Day! (even though "bonnie" is a Scottish word)

Not this one.

The one below ...

May the roads of Ireland lead ya to a rainbow, where you'll find a pot-o-gold that will bring the wrath of an evil leprechaun, but at least you'll be filthy rich for a wee time, until the leprechaun releases his pet banshee on ya, and removes your head from your body, but that will be okay, because the angels will swoop down and take ya ta heaven before the devil knows you've been dead for a thousand millenniums, and the Blarney Stone crumbles into the Irish Sea!  (Irish Sea?)