Happy Columbo or Columbus Day!

It's Columbo Day, and it makes me so happy!

No, wait! This isn't Columbo! It's The Pricess Bride!

Columbo was one of my all time favorite shows! 

Columbo killers!

Columbo (AKA Peter Falk) would pretend he was slow witted and backwards, then outsmart the haughty, egotistical, bad guys! It was so cool!!

What? It's NOT Columbo Day?! Then what is it? 

Columbus Day? I thought no one celebrated Columbus Day anymore, because he single handedly, erased the entire Native American population off the face of the earth!

This Abolish Columbus Day image is not necessarily the opinion of the staff here at Bloggadocious 222, because we are too weak to take a stand on ANYTHING.

"In fact, he never even set foot on North America, so his whole story is a big fat lie..." they say. 

I wish this was Columbo Day, because I dislike defending this great American Italian hero, all the time!! 

Heeeere is the TRUE story in a nutshell...

Putting all negative naysayers aside, think of the AMAZING things Chris did, for real!!

He talked Queen Isabella into fronting his wacky trip to a place no one really believed existed. Try getting Melania to front you money for ANYTHING! She's probably nice, but, well, just try it, and get back with me. 

Christopher was willing to brave the unknown parts of the ocean, in spite of all the stories about sea monsters, ships falling off the edge of the earth into oblivion, evil mermaids that lure you into sharp rocks, and Poseidon getting powerfully perturbed!

Once I saw exact replicas of the Niña, Pinta and Santa Maria, and they were so tiny!! They looked like overgrown rowboats! How did C.C. cross the mighty Atlantic Ocean, or was it Pacific (well, I don't need to be too pacific with the details), in those itty bitty, wooden ships?!!

Okay! He may not have treated the indigenous peoples he found, humanely, but WHO DID in those times? Everyone thought they were better than everyone else back then, unlike today, where we...uh, I mean...never mind. 

I think I've said enough about Columbus Day, so let's enjoy a brief clip of a classic Columbo ...

What Is "sad news" on Facebook?

I heard a new term on the glorious Greg and Dan Radio Show, this morning. Link to Greg and Dan Show...

https://www.1470wmbd.com/

The term was "sad news!" 

I know...sad news has been around since Hector was a pup, but this is a NEW take on sad news. 

It's when folks put stuff on Facebook to get sympathy, ALL THE TIME!

Here is the one example that kills me the most. 

They post, "Worst day of my life!" 

Forcing us to ask a thousand questions about their mysterious "worst day!"

Wha happen? Was someone in an accident? Are you sick? Did you lose your puppy? Did you have the winning 50 million dollar lottery ticket, and can't remember where you hid it?

You see, they write it that way to hook you in to giving them sympathy, even before you know what their "worst day" was.

Maybe their "worst day" was a paper cut, a hang nail, a bad hair day, but who would care about any of those things. However, if they don't specify what their "worst day" was, right off the bat, they will get tons of inquisitive, sympathetic comments from friends who are thinking WORST DAY, not "worst day."

What we're thinking.

What they're thinking.

Of course, we are genuinely concerned about our dear friend's genuine woes, but there are Facebookers who post "sad news" every single day! Sometimes, multiple times a day!!

More examples...with appropriate, snarky comments...

1. "I'm tired." Ain't we all? 

2. "My job sucks!" Join the party!

3. "What am I gonna do?"  We don't know! Tell us the problem, and maybe we can help! Or not.

4. "Life changing decision!" What? What's the decision? Why are you making us ask?!! 

Anyway, you know what I mean. Folks who never seem to have a good day, and want you to join in their bad day, every day!! 

Personally, I fake it! I do my best to avoid talking about my health situations, aches, pains, mental illnesses, arthur-i-tus, eye problems, foot problems, and a million other things, 'cause I don't want your symphonies!! 

As far as you know, I'm as healthy and spry as when I played Amercan football at Pattonville High Scrool in the 60's!

"Sad news" ain't cool, brothers and sisters!

Avoid it like the plague!!!

Celebrating This Special Time Of The Year

The temptation to do a blog story about the Cardinals baseball team getting 10 runs in the first inning, and going on to the NLCS (National League Championship Series) is overwhelming, for a St. Louis born individual, like me.

However, I ain't gonna do dat, because I know it would be boring for a lot of you faithful readers of Bloggadocious 222. 

Instead, I'll share a poem (pome, for you in Goofy Ridge) that I'm writing, off the top of my head (and it's hard to lift my arms that high), that celebrates this special time of the year...

Fall...SPECIAL TIME OF THE YEAR

The brisk, cool wind, surrounds my chin,

And makes me wish I'm bearded,

I'm in a trance, fall makes me dance,

All goofy, wild, and wierded.

The corn is all dried up and dead,

It must be time to pick it,

I drove my pickup through the stalks, 

Why did I get a ticket?

The pumpkins sit on porches still,

With twisted, toothy faces,

With witches, ghosts and vampires,

In all strategic places.

These wicked spirits aren't alive, 

They're fake as news today,

But they will run and GRAB YOU,

Right when you turn away.

The leaves are falling gently,

But I ain't gonna rake 'em,

I'll make a deal with Wizard Wind,

And he will come and take 'em. 

I love the smell of burning leaves,

But it makes my loved one choke,

So all you folks remember that,

C.F. is no joke!

Out Of This World Wednesday - Grabber Games

Rosie and Gary, our glorious Glirkazoid galaxy geeks, have lost the Great Jewel Of Neprotonicus 11, in the massive implosion of Neprotonicus 11, just a few minutes ago.

Gary - "Woe is we, Rosie!  The FIRST mission we have miserably failed at, girl."

Rosie - "This is NOT the first mission we've failed, Gary. Remember the time we got "lost in space," and never made it to Quleerian...Planet Of Cat People in time to change their global litter box? We had to sweep up kitty krap for 7 yestrereiums!"

Gary - "Yeah, but..."

Rosie - "We also messed up the mission to help the Munchkins Of  Missapeerious, when you partook of two much Hard Purple Glirf and called them pipsqueaks and midgets, which caused them to turn on us, instead of the giant gantigos beast about to attack their puny population!"

Gary - "That WAS real messy, but..."

Rosie - "Another time, we were summoned to the planet of Surrealius, to divert a city-sized asteroid that was about to destroy the whole cockadoodie planet, and we diverted it alright...into their twin planet of R.U. Sirius, which was a lot more important than Surrealius, because of the vast amount of comedians that resided there! And you say, we've never failed a mission?!!"

Gary - "Rosie, look back at the top of the page! I said, this is the first mission we have MISERABLY failed at! Other missions we have stupendously failed at, or horribly failed at, or even catastrophically failed at, but this is the first we have MISERABLY  failed at!"

Rosie - "You do have a point, Gary. But if you wear a floppy hat, no one will see it!"

Gary - "Ha ha. You're funnier than a screen door on a subma..."

Rosie - "GARY!!! LOOK OUT OF THE PORTHOLE ON THE STARBOARD SIDE OF THE SHIP!!!"

Gary - "Rosie...you know I never can remember which side is starboard, and which is port!"

Rosie - "OVER HERE! WHERE I'M LOOKING OUT OF THE PORTHOLE, NUMBSKULL!!

As our two Glirkazoid gawkers stare out into the blackness of spaze, they see something astonishing! The unmistakable green glow of the Great Jewel Of Neprotonicus 11, drifting about 100 zehecktermeters from the Silver Sausage spazeship!!!

Gary - "How can this be, Rosie?!! When objects are imploded, they are swiftly sucked into a black hole, never to be seen again!"

Rosie - "That's true, my dear Watson...but if the object is made up of antimatter particulates, infused with hyperion energy delfamations, with a twist of corogenic, profusinary, nano technology, like the Great Jewel Of Neprotonicus 11, the object can escape the forces of implosion!!"

Gary - "Wow! I love it when you talk scientific! Who's Watson?!"

Rosie - "No time to talk now, Gary! We need to use our robotic, grabber arms to retrieve the Great Jewel from the endless, vast reaches of spaze, cadet!!"

Gary - "LET ME DO IT!! LET ME DO IT!!!"

Rosie - "Very well, go ahead."

Gary - "How do I do it, now?"

Rosie - "(Sigh) Grab two of those small, round, metal disks and put them in the slot. Now, work the "joy stick" to make the arm go different directions, until you're directly over the Great Jewel. Push the button on top of the "joy stick" and the claw will drop and grab the jewel, where you can maneuver it back to the Silver Sausage and drop it in the hatch. Kapeesh?"

Gary - "Kapeeshin' all the way, Rosie!! The Great Jewel is as good as got, my friend!!"

After MANY tries, MANY metal disks, and  a lot of Glirkazoid grofanity, Gary gives up!

Gary - "This is IMPOSSIBLE, Rosie! We'll just have to chalk this mission up to our first miserable failure."

Rosie - "Let me try, okay?"

Gary - "Ha ha ha! Rosie! If I couldn't retrieve the Great..."

Rosie - "Got it!"

At that, Rosie drops the elusive jewel down the hatch, and the glorious, gleaming, Great Jewel Of Neprotonicus 11 shines brightly on the poop deck of the ship! 

Okay. Now the folks who have just inhabited Neprotonicus 12 will have the power from the Great Jewel to, uh, power their homes and businesses for time immemorial...If  our Glirkazoid heroes make it there alive!!

Next Wednesday we will follow the Silver Sausage spazeship, and our Glirkazoid grabber gurus, to more adventures and madcap madness in OUT OF THIS WORLD WEDNESDAY!!