The Birds, Bees, Fishes In The Seas...

Yes, All God's Creatures Give Me Hope!

I was out walking Chevy-dog this lovely spring morning, and heard hundreds of birds singing their beaks off, saw a baby bunny come out from under our front deck (there has probably been about 10 litters of baby bunnies born and raised under our deck since we've lived here), squirrels were chasing each other around trees, and even tiny insects were buzzing about my head. 

This is not me, but just an example of bugs flying about the head.

It almost seemed like they had no clue that we are suffering from a worldwide pandemic of biblical proportions! 

Unless they are all just faking it. You know, pretending to be oblivious to the bible-like pestilence, but deep down in their little hearts they are extremely terrified. 

We cool, we cool!

If you're like me (which almost nobody is) you've always believed that animals and insects have a special relationship with God and understand God's ways, WAY better than hoomans!

So why aren't all of God's creatures huddled up in caves, and tree holes, and under front decks, to escape this major calamity...Jane?

To the contrary, they are all acting normally. Robins are yanking worms from the ground, bees are gathering pollen, squirrels and rabbits are doing what they do best (while I look the other way), so, what do they know that we don't know?

Then you counter with, "They are just dumb animules and bugs, they don't know nothin'!"

Oh, yeah! What about the times dogs, cats and chickens have predicted earthquakes by their erratic behavior? Or dolphins have predicted tsunamis by walking on their tails in the ocean? (Okay, maybe that was in a Flipper TV show)

I'm not suggesting we have not experienced a major, heartbreaking pandemic at all, but God's creatures give me hope that everything will be okay one day...which probably makes me cra-cra...but every night I pray that covid-19 goes away..

Or could it be the creatures instinctively know they ain't gonna get the virus?

In These Uncertain Times...

"In these uncertain times" has become the catch phrase for a LOT of commercials during these "uncertain times."

What I'm asking is, when were we in CERTAIN TIMES?

In my ordinary, mostly uneventful life, nothing has ever been certain. Nothing!

My job, my relationships with others, my automobile trips, and even getting up every morning is not a certainty for me, or ANYBODY!

Think about Siegfried and Roy, the white tiger and lion tamers. Everyone thought they would never be attacked by their beloved lions, but Roy (I think it was Roy) was attacked one day by a white tiger!

To take it down to the common person level, remember when you planned that big family reunion in the park, on the 4th of July, and it rained? 

Of course, it's true that with nearly EVERYTHING shut down here on 4/23/2020, the times are more uncertain than usual, but those of us who have lived a number of decades should be pros at adjusting to uncertain times. 

Many of us were certain we were in good health, and then BANG, we were diagnosed with something we never dreamed we would get!

Christopher Columbus was certain he had discovered India or something, but instead, he discovered America...or maybe the Vikings did...or the Polynesians did, which proves how uncertain times have always been!

Think about this. How many folks have been certain the world would end in the years 1900, 1918, 1941, 1962, Y2K, and probably all the years in between!

My point is..um..I forgot my point, but let's make the best of these uncertain times, the best we can, uh, in these uncertain times...pretty much like we've always done..I guess...but I'm not certain.

Out Of This World Wednesday

Narration Situation!

Rosie - "I'm happy to have escaped the skin eating tummy acid of the Ramadragon, Gary!"

Gary - "What are you doing, Rosie! You have to wait for the narrator to recap last week's, Out Of This World Wednesday, BEFORE we can talk!"

Rosie - "Oh, I'm sorry! Coming out of that liquefied state made me a bit loopy."

Narrator - Ahem, thank you, Gary. Before I was rudely  interrupted...Last week we saw our Glirkazoid Gladiators escape the inescapable belly of the hangry Ramadragon, by accelerating their Silver Sausage spazeship to such a phenomenal speed that they needed to mentally shape-shift themselves into a liquid form to survive the, uh, acceleration, and not be squished by the bi-zillions of G forces upon their tiny little bodies!

Rosie - "Rudely interrupted? I may have started too soon, but I NEVER interrupted you, you big blow hard!"

Gary - "NO! Rosie! It's not wise to insult the narrator!"

Rosie - "That big fat, bull dog faced narrator doesn't scare me, Gary! He ain't nothin' but a second rate big mouth, anyway!"

Gary - "Rosie! I suspect your brain is still in a partially liquefied state and you don't know what you're saying! Just take a little nap until you've completely solidified."

It seems that the LESSER member of our Glirkazoid duo has succumbed to the physical and mental stresses of the escape from the Ramadragon, due to her inferior brain, which means that Gary will have to continue on alone, but Rosie was never much help anyway!

Gary - (makes a special Glirkazoid finger gesture to the narrator) "Stress THIS, butthead! Rosie is the STAR of this extraterrestrial team, and just because she hurt your wittle feelings, whilst in a semi-delirious state of mind, you have no right to put her down!! In addition, I ain't goin' nowhere without her!! Kapeesh?!"

Kapeesh.

Rosie - "Oh, Gary, I must have nodded off for a minute. Did we escape from the ravenous Ramadragon in one piece?"

Gary - "You mean, you don't remember ANYTHING since we blasted out of the Ramadragon's butt?"

Rosie - "Not a thing. What's been goin' on? Is our handsome narrator okay? I would hate to lose his deep, dulcet tones that provide a sense of authority to our stories!"

Join us next Wednesday, as our sweet, beloved, Gary, and the beautiful, magnificent, wonderful Rosie, trek forward, to defeat the nasty Krug the Kruddy!

In...

Jabberwocky Tubesday 2 Day!

What we do. How we act. Where we go. Who we are. Why we exist. Whether we endure or give up...all depend on our ability to imagine the things that relate to the deepest machinations of our psychological, interwoven synapse connections of the cerebral cortex. 

Don't forget the unrememorable worms of the infamous Professor Irwin Corey...

It's important you watch this! We'll wait.

A wise man once said, "How would I know, I don't live around here!" Which proves that the social morons that duplicate the collateral damage of industrial strength motivations can inevitably transgress the chickens of destiny and phosphorescence!

"REALLY?" you exclaim at a remarkable RPM! "Why isn't the relativity of cold fusion exacerbating the module, hmmm?"

Ha ha! Your precipitous, self riotous, bemoanings are simply parallelograms of astronomical miscalculations!

Tuesday, 4/21/20 just happens to be promulgated to align with propensitory degradations of anti-matriculatable matriculations of gynormous propondency! 

In conclusion...freeing your brain of discombobulated dereliction of doody, will circumnavigate reams of attitudinal alliterations, exceptionally!

Ready For The Rollin' Restart?

Rollin' on the River...

THEY are talking about starting up the economy again, as the pandemic begins to slowly slide downhill, but not starting it all of a sudden. A "rollin' restart" seems to be the preferred way to do it.

It's clear they don't want tons of folks, all at once, flocking to sporting events, rock concerts, sit down restaurants, big weddings, big funerals, Star Trek conventions and the like.

THEY would rather have us slowly ease into the olde ways of gathering, hugging, congregating, huddling, square dancing,  assembling, forming protest marches, attending big family reunion picnics and multiple person parties.

So here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna peak out the window from time to time, to see if things are picking up, socially.

If it looks like more and more folks are gathering (and not dying), going to baseball games (and not dying), having large family reunion picnics (and not dying), I'll begin to step outta da houze and SLOWLY join in, but probably still donning my pretty blue mask. 

This is NOT me! Me and my mask are way cuter! Ha!

I know the economy cannot remain stagnant, or we will dry up and be blown into the financial abyss!

So, all of you brave souls need to take the risk of going out and about, and lead the way for the rest of us to creep outside when it's absolutely, perfectly safe!

Hey! I'm just kidding, gang! You all take care, and cumulate when you feel everything's great, or if you don't want to wait, go out and hug sister Kate, if you think it won't make you "THE LATE!" Get it?

Out Of This World Wednesday

Escape From Tummy Acid!

In our last exciting episode of Out Of This World Wednesday, the iconic Silver Sausage spazeship was swallowed by the enormous Ramadragon, with Rosie and Gary on board!

Gary - "Since this is the end of us, Rosie, I need to tell you something I've always wanted to tell you."

Rosie - "I'm over here by the cull shield, Gary! In all this darkness, you were talking to the cloak rack!"

Gary - "Okay. Just keep talking, Rosie, and I'll make my way over to you."

Sound of Gary stumbling in the dark.

Rosie - "Here I am, over here, la la la, keep walking this way..."BUMP!!!

Gary - "Whoops! Sorry, Rosie! Did I break your antenna?"

Rosie - "I'm good, I'm good, now what is so important that you needed to stumble over here to tell me?"

Gary - "Well, since we are heading for that big "muthership in the sky," where all Glirkazoids go to die, I need to FINALLY tell you that I..."

Suddenly, the gluttonous Ramadragon lets out a big belch, and the Silver Sausage, with Gary and Rosie inside, is tossed across the beasts belly with tremendous velocity!

Rosie - "Gary! The Silver Sausage will not survive another violent tossing like that! It will break apart, and the Ramadragon's stomach acid will caustically corrode us in seconds!!"

Gary - "There's only one thing we can do, Rosie girl!"

Rosie - "No! I know what you're thinking, and that's suicide!"

Gary - "I know, but we have no other choice! If we don't try, we will bite the spaze dust, anyway!"

Gary and Rosie are talking about a highly experimental, iffy device, that would, hypothetically, propel the Silver Sausage out of the Ramadragon's butt at 10 times gwarp speed, but would, most likely crush our little Glirkazoid pals into Silly Putty! Although installed on all Glirkazoid spazeships, the device has never been utilized, due to a paralyzing fear of an agonizing death!

Gary - "What have we got to lose, Rosie! Let's push that Big Red Butt Bustin' Button and see what happens!"

Rosie - "Okay! But before we push the Big Red Butt Bustin' Button, we need to follow the teaching of Master Lee, who said...

Gary - "I don't get it, Rosie! Let's just push the stupid button!"

Rosie - "No, no! First, we must convince our inner being that we will go with the flow of 10 times gwarp speed, and become as if we are H2O, in a liquid sense, so as not to be squished into Silly Putty!!"

Gary - "How could H2O NOT be in a liquid sense? Anyway, I get your point!"

Rosie - "FINALLY! I mean, GOOD, let's begin to transform our little Glirkazoid bodies into free flowing forms."

Gary and Rosie - Ah oooms, ah oooms, make our bodies flow when we zooms, ah too, tah gate, bring us to a liquid state..."

Slowly, our Glirkazoid Gurus become liquefied, and Gary pushes the Big Red Butt Bustin' Button, which ain't easy when you're liquefied!!

Example of someone being liquefied.

In the twinkling of an eye, the magnificent Silver Sausage spazeship shoots out of the hiney of the totally surprised Ramadragon!

Rosie and Gary, being in a liquid state, are not smashed into Silly Putty, and actually enjoyed the experience, as strange as it sounds! 

No more worries about the Ramadragon, since they are now 60 million light years away, plus, the Ramadragon ain't gonna eat that ship again!

60 million light years closer to Krug the Kruddy, and soon face to face with that hideous monster!!! 

Krug - "Who you callin' a hideous monster? Zit face!!

Join us next Wednesday for the next installment of ...