Why Are Political Ads So DARK?

For example...

A guy with a deep, scary voice talks over black and white, grainy pictures of the candidate and tells you how this person wants to take away your healthcare, remove pre-existing conditions, put innocent immigrants in cages, kill the LGBTQ folks, institute cruel racial policies, spread the covid-19 throughout America, torture puppies, ban ice cream, start World War 3, take away your toiletries, take away Netflix, take away COFFEE...etc, etc.

Uh, after the dude with the spooky voice begins speaking, I get turned off.

Come on, man! Nobody talks like that! Unless you're telling ghost stories to kids. 

They use so much hyperbole that I disregard EVERYTHING they accuse the poor candidate of doing!

hy·per·bo·le

/hīˈpərbəlē/

Learn to pronounce

noun

1. exaggerated statements or claims not meant to be taken literally.

   "he vowed revenge with oaths and hyperboles"

Well, I guess it's not actually hyperbole. Let's just say LIES!

Anyway, when people make up lies about other people, I tend to support the underdog, who is the target of the liars.

"How do you know they are lies, Danny? Maybe it's all true!"

I use my common sense and intuition...and some ESP, and remote viewing, and my gut...and past experiences, and, oh, I don't know...I just have a built in lie detector, I guess.

On the other hand, I could be full of malarkey, as Sleepy Joe would say. 

I usually am.

 

Out Of This World Wednesday

Which One Is God, Hmm?

Unless you have a Biden brain, you remember last week's episode, where our "fearless flyers of the final frontier," Rosie and Gary, have
awaked waked up awokened, uh, came too in a paradisaic setting.

Rosie is setting out on a trek to find out what in the heck is going on in this neck of the woods, whilst Gary is staying put to see if God comes along, even if it's Steve Bucemi.

As Rosie walks down a beauteous green path, lined with gorgeous flowers, butterflies swooping through the sweet air, baby bunnies sticking their pink noses out to sniff her feet (not a good idea), and this music (below) playing in the background...↓

Don't forget to play this music! You can thank me later.

Now, shut off the music,  'cause the next part is serious!

Rosie happens upon a gigantic mountain that begins to speak to her in a booming voice!

Mountain - "Rosie! Welcome to the "Good Place," we have been waiting for your beautiful soul to enter our Kingdom, how goes it?"

Rosie - "How goes it? You're God, and ask me, how goes it? Don't you know?"

Mountain - "Uh, of course I do! I was just being conversational, my child."

Rosie's suspicions begin to congeal in her heart.

con·geal

/kənˈjēl/

Learn to pronounce

verb

1. solidify or coagulate, especially by cooling.

   "the blood had congealed into blobs"

   Similar:

   coagulate

   clot

   cake

   set

   solidify

   harden

   thicken

   stiffen

   dry

   gel

   concentrate

   fix

   inspissate

   Opposite:

   soften

   liquefy

   • take shape or coalesce, especially to form a satisfying whole.

     "the ballet failed to congeal as a single oeuvre"
   • 
     

Learn to pronounce

As for Gary, we see him sitting on a golden stump, waiting for Morgan Freeman, George Burns, or even Roma Downey to come along. 

All of a sudden, a tiny baby platypus comes waddling up to Gary and begins to speak..,

Platypus - "Follow me, for I am the Lord!"

Gary - "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!! You're the Lord? I don't think so, little guy! Go back to your mama and suckle, until you grow up! Oh, what a larf!!"

suck·le

/ˈsək(ə)l/

Learn to pronounce

verb

1. feed (a baby or young animal) from the breast or teat.

   "a mother pig suckling a huge litter"

   Similar:

   breastfeed

   feed

   nurse

   give suck to

   • (of a baby or young animal) feed by sucking the breast or teat.

     "the infant's biological need to suckle"

Are you as confused as me? 

Is Gary making a mistake by laughing at a baby platypus who claims to be God Almighty?

And what about Rosie and the Mountain God? 

If you are curious to find out what in the cosmos is goin' on, join us next Wednesday for the inimitable...

The REAL Reason Amy Coney Barrett 

 Is On The Supreme Court

Well, that was quick!

Amy Coney Barrett is an associate member of the Supreme Court in record time...lickity split...mucho quicko, but why?

Judge Kavanaugh  had to go through a virtual "running of the gauntlet" to reach that goal!

 run the gauntlet

phrase of gauntlet

1. 1.

   go through an intimidating or dangerous crowd or experience in order to reach a goal.

   "they had to run the gauntlet of television cameras"
2. 2.

   HISTORICAL

   undergo the military punishment of receiving blows while running between two rows of men with sticks.
3. 

   
   

   
   

Not saying it was easy for ACB, but she did not NEARLY receive the atrocious treatment that Kavanaugh endured.

"Why," you ask so eagerly...because you have such an open mind for truth, justice, and the American way, like Superman!

The REAL reason she overcame the rigors of questioning by snarky interrogators, let the fake rumors about her roll off her back like a duck, and remained calm and poised during tons of abuse and slanderous comments by opposing factions is...you guessed it...she's a MOM!!

She has seven kids, for heaven's sake!

She's had a lifetime of abuse from snarky teenagers, endless questions from 5 year olds, learning to stay calm in "dramatic" situations (like daughter losing her cell phone), defusing unsubstantiated rumors that half the kids create about the other half, and, well, all you Moms get it, don't you!

It also didn't hurt that she's cute. Cute face, voice, demeanor. I know that sounds so misogynistic, but cuteness is an advantage in this "looks are everything" world! 

Don't argue with me. You know it's true. 

Well, "maybe not," you declare.  "Look at Ruth Bader Ginsburg! She was not an attractive woman!"

Ruth Bader Ginsburg

My theories are not as dub as you thought, are they? 

Dub?